-MAD WOMAN-
twenty!

stab the body and it heals, but
injure the heart and the wound
lasts a lifetime.
- mineko iwasaki

now - 7x01!

Wren Spader couldn't help but feel nauseous. And why wouldn't she? She was sitting in the hallway of a federal courthouse, about to be questioned by a committee whose only job is to find something wrong with what she did. 

She didn't want to be there. She didn't want to be in the same room with three of her teammates currently. And she certainly didn't want to have to relive what happened two weeks ago just to entertain an internal investigation that could've been avoided if the FBI actually looked for Doyle when he escaped. Overall, Wren wanted everything to be over with. She wanted to go home and pretend that none of this ever happened.

Four of her teammates stood together further down the hall from the brunette and she could feel each of their concerned gazes boring into the side of her head. She knew that they had every right to be concerned for her. But knowing that they were worried about her was starting to feel like her final straw. Wren's final straw should've been a long time ago. And everyone, including her, was waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

She heard Penelope's voice carry down the hall as she tried to drown out the conversation her coworkers were having. However, she was failing miserably. All she wanted was to focus on herself and what she was going to say when she was called in, but she couldn't find it in herself to do so. The only thing she could think about was how the hell anyone could let this happen, and why the hell no one told her sooner.

The questioning was taking place two weeks after they found and arrested Doyle. Two weeks since Wren truly believed she could close this chapter of her life and move on. Two weeks since she found out that the grief that she had been feeling for the past seven months was a lie. And since all of that happened, Wren could barely process that she had been shot. Again. Instead, she had to focus on how to get her job back and if she really wanted to go back to the BAU in the first place.

It had been three months since JJ rejoined the team as a member. And it had little under that since Ashley transferred to one of the human trafficking units, but Wren didn't mind the lack of permanency that she faced with teammates. In fact, she was used to it. Who wouldn't expect people to just come and go after what Wren had seen in her lifetime?

She remembered the constant late nights in Derek's office that led up to Doyle's arrest. She remembered the night in the evidence review room with Morgan and Garcia as they followed a lead to find Declan Doyle. She remembered staking out Declan's boarding school and house. But that was all two months ago. What she remembered the most was the call they had to make to Hotch when Doyle was spotted near Declan.

"Hotchner," the unit chief stated as he answered the phone from his temporary duty in Pakistan.

"Hey, you've got Morgan and Spader," Wren greeted the man as she, Derek, and Penelope all stood in the blonde's lair.

"How's it going out there?" Morgan asked him.

"You know, long days," he spoke, "some territorial issues to work out. Nothing surprising. How's everything there?"

"Hotch, we found Declan Doyle."

"What?"

"Listen, we knew that finding the kid was the only way we could find Doyle," Morgan explained. "I know what you're thinking, man."

"Is Declan safe?" He asked.

"He is for now," Wren continued. "We've had surveillance at his house and his school for a few weeks."

"I didn't authorize this," Hotch stated.

"You didn't have to since I was still acting section chief when we started," the brunette admitted and a sigh came from the unit chief's side of the phone call.

"And even so, we think Doyle may have found Declan, too," Morgan added, not wanting Wren to get in trouble for going over Hotch's head.

"All right, I'm coming back."

"Do you want us to wait?" Morgan asked.

"Morgan, it could be a trap," he told the man. "You make sure you have eyes on Doyle."

"And if it is him?"

"Then you take the shot. And Spader?"

"Yes, sir," she spoke.

"I'm not going to tell you that you can't join Morgan, but I need you to be careful," Hotch said to her.

Wren held back the urge to roll her eyes. It's not like he could see her, but she refrained from the visible reaction anyway. She didn't want to be careful. In fact, Wren wanted to rush into the apartment when Doyle was located and beat the shit out of him with her own two fists. But she couldn't do that without risking everything. And there was still a target on her back. Wren had to tread lightly with Doyle no matter how small that target was. She had to stay alive.

"Yes, sir."

Once they hung up the phone, Wren left Morgan and Garcia so she could go update the rest of the team. Spencer had just gotten back from teaching a few lectures at the academy, so in reality, it was perfect timing that the whole team, minus Hotch, was together to do this.

She split the team up, Reid and Rossi were going to go to Declan's house and secure the boy while she, Morgan, and JJ either killed or apprehended Doyle. She was leaning more towards the former, but she wouldn't admit that out loud.

It wasn't until they got the news that Declan had been kidnapped that they had to stick to apprehending Doyle. 

They moved quickly once they saw movement in the apartment and could corner Doyle on the roof. And while Doyle taunted both her and Morgan about killing him, they arrested him and took him back to Quantico.

She stood in the interrogation room, her arms crossed over her chest, as Doyle's cuffs were chained to the table. Once the other agents had left the room, Doyle decided to speak.

"It's been a while, hasn't it, Leslie?" He asked her. "Oh, right, your name is Wren. Your friends call you Birdie. How precious is that?"

"Doyle, where's Declan?" Wren questioned him, ignoring his remarks about her name.

"Playing dumb isn't your strong suit, agent," Doyle told her with a scoff. "You and Agent Morgan found him a month before I did. But since we're talking about family, how's your sister? Gosh, I really wish I could've paid her and her daughter a visit."

She wanted to punch him right then and there. She wanted to watch him bleed. She wanted to make him feel the same pain she did, but she knew that it wouldn't matter even then. He would still be able to get under her skin. And she still wouldn't have found out where Declan was.

"I'm not playing dumb, you smartass. Where is your son?" She asked again.

"He's living in that lovely little house our friend set up for him," he continued. Our friend. Wren could only wish that he wouldn't bring up Emily, but she knew it was inevitable. "I should have found him sooner. Finally remembered that she likes cul-de-sacs."

"Liked," Wren corrected him quickly before moving on. And even though she caught his expression saddening when he realized what she meant, she couldn't bring herself to find sympathy for Doyle. Not when he was the one who killed her in the first place. "Where is Declan right now? You can't just sit here with that ugly smile on your face and act as though you didn't have a part in his abduction."

"And you can't just sit here and act like this isn't part of your strategy," he countered as Wren rolled her eyes and sat down in front of him. "You tell me my son is missing when I know he was safe a few hours ago? You need to be more creative than that, Birdie."

"I don't know how this isn't getting through to you. I am not playing games. I am not asking you these questions as part of a strategy to get you to break. I do not care if you break, because either way, you're going to jail and will hopefully get the death penalty. All I care about right now is Declan. And if you care at all about your son, you will tell me anyone who would've done this."

"Why would anyone take Declan?"

"Oh, I don't know, how about the multiple people you've betrayed or made your enemy for stupid reasons? Give me names," she continued as his expression softened.

"No one even knows he exists," he reminded her.

"Well, someone out there does and they hate you enough to take him so think, asshole," she fired back. "Who hates you that much? Who would follow you?"

"I don't know," he exclaimed. "I don't."

"Then think harder," the brunette told him as she got up and left the room.

The observation room held JJ, Morgan, and Strauss. Wren nodded at Morgan and he took her place in the interrogation room. She could hardly breathe and having just been face-to-face with the man she hated the most was not helping her.

As she paced the back of the observation room, Wren could feel the tension in the air growing. It was as if Strauss's disbelief in the entire situation was invading the brunette's ability to think. The section chief was obviously irritated with the way she was sighing every ten seconds and shifting her weight between her legs.  And with every passing moment that Strauss didn't say something, that confusion and aggravation hindered Wren's capacity to do her job.

"All right, if you have something to say, just say it," Wren broke the silence suddenly, causing both blondes to look at her with widened eyes. "Ask your questions. Speak up. Do something other than breathing loudly and shaking your head." She made eye contact with JJ. "Not you, you're fine."

"How long have you and Morgan been looking for Doyle?" Strauss asked after a moment. 

"Since he killed Emily in Boston," the brunette retorted, missing how JJ's eyes flickered to the floor at Emily's name. "It didn't make sense that he would just vanish so we kept a few lines open."

"You've been investigating Doyle for seven months?" The section chief questioned incredulously. 

"Why are you surprised?" Wren exclaimed. "She died in his arms." She pointed at the man sitting across from Doyle. "She was my mentor and the closest friend I had when I started my career. I let her go into the field alone and she was murdered. It would've taken me being killed to get me to not look for Doyle."

"Spader, do you need to take a breather?" JJ asked as Wren nodded and started to leave the room.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go see if Hotch is here yet. Let me know if he says anything that isn't 'I don't know.'" The door slammed behind her as she walked down the hallway.

Though the intention of leaving the observation room was so she could relax a bit, Wren wouldn't allow herself to calm down. If anyone had a problem with the anger and frustration she currently felt, Wren had absolutely no issue telling them to keep it to themselves. And while she felt a little bad for yelling at Anderson, she also didn't have it in her to let her frustration go for the sake of others. It wasn't going to happen.

Not even Spencer could get her to relax or show any signs of compassion. At that moment, she was done playing nice and she was done holding her tongue for the sake of the bureau.

Anyone who worked in the Behavioral Analysis Unit had to tread lightly around Wren while Doyle was in their custody. Someone so much as breathing wrong around her would have been enough pressure for her to crack.

And that's exactly what happened when Hotch arrived.

"I hear you had an outburst in front of Strauss," he said to her as he entered the roundtable room, speaking as if he had never even left.

Wren almost laughed in his face at his statement. The fact that this was how Hotch knew how to say 'hello' to her was almost amusing and if it weren't for the fact that Ian Doyle was in an interrogation room, she would have turned around and laughed in Aaron Hotchner's face. But she didn't.

"You're seriously worried about my quote-unquote outburst when the man who killed one of your agents - the man who killed Prentiss - is in our custody? This is what you're worried about?" She asked him as she continued to stare at the evidence boards. "I mean this with all the respect I could possibly give you, but you seriously need to learn to prioritize. I get that you're my boss and for some reason, you need to reprimand me for showing any emotion, but this is low. I have a right to have an outburst every once in a while. Especially since no one in the bureau took Doyle escaping seriously aside from Derek and me. I get to be angry right now."

He didn't respond right away. Hotch knew that she was right. He knew that he shouldn't have started a conversation with her light that and he knew that she had every right to be pissed. What made matters worse was that her right to be angry would continue to grow in validity and Hotch was terrified of what her reaction would be when the truth came out. If she was aggravated now, he couldn't imagine what she would do when she found out.

"You're right," he admitted and watched as Wren's shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. "I'm sorry." She didn't respond or even nod in acknowledgment of his apology. "How was it going with Doyle?"

"As expected, he was an ass. He claims he doesn't know anything about who took Declan, which I can believe. But I don't care enough to have sympathy for him so Morgan is talking to him," she explained. 

"The nanny was DOA?"

"Yeah, Reid and Rossi found her and two agents dead in the house. Whoever took Declan has a personal vendetta against Doyle, not just a professional one."

Before long, Garcia was greeting the unit chief as she entered with information. "Welcome back, sir."

"Thank you. What have you got?" He asked her as both he and Wren turned to face the technical analyst.

"A top-10 list of Doyle's enemies."

"Anybody recently in the states?"

"Richard Gerace's been here a few weeks," she explained and Wren's ears perked up since she recognized the name. "He's a low-level gun-runner who angrily crossed paths with Doyle. I caught an image of him on the surveillance camera at Declan's house, confirmed it was him through a scar on his neck."

"All right. Get me everything you can on Gerace," Hotch instructed the blonde who sighed.

"Yeah. What I just told you is everything I've got."

"Spader, do you know anything about him?"

"From what I remember, Gerace isn't smart enough to pull something like this off and Doyle barely considered him an enemy while I was undercover," Wren told him as they made their way over toward the interrogation rooms. "They had an altercation over ten years before Emily and I started investigating Doyle and twenty years is a long time to be holding a grudge over what happened between them. He might be part of the equation, but there's an incredibly small chance that he came up with this plan."

Hotch texted Morgan as they entered the observation room. Small talk was made between Rossi and Hotch, but Wren didn't have the energy to listen to it. Instead, she watched as Doyle sat at the table with his head hung low and Morgan paced in front of the window, waiting for any information from the team.

"Doyle, do you consider Richard Gerace an enemy?" He asked the criminal once he received the text from Hotch.

"I don't consider him at all," Doyle retorted as he shook his head. Wren let out a dry laugh at his words, glad to know that she was right.

"Tell me about him."

"Gave him a nasty scar in Belfast twenty years ago," he told Morgan. "Hasn't been my problem since."

"Whose problem was he?" Morgan asked.

"She won't help."

"Why not?"

"Because I killed her."

"He's talking about Prentiss?" Rossi asked the group in the observation room.

"It seems that way," Hotch replied.

"Spader?"

"I don't think JTF-12 dealt with him all that much, but he might've been someone they targeted before I joined. I don't know, I could be wrong," she said as Hotch's phone beeped. The unit chief excused himself from the room, leaving Rossi and Wren alone.

"Doing okay?" He asked the brunette, who sighed.

"No, I'm not," Wren stated after a moment. "I'm tired of all of this and I just want to move on."

"Once we find his son, hopefully, we can put this all behind us."

"Yeah... hopefully."

✦✧✦

JJ had called Morgan out of interrogation and led the group back to the BAU room. They entered to find Reid and Garcia talking amongst themselves and Wren practically made a beeline to Spencer's side of the table.

"Did you guys get anywhere with Doyle?" He asked Morgan as he gave a small smile to the woman next to him.

"Doyle doesn't think Gerace has the guts to take him on," Morgan replied.

"But that's definitely Gerace on the tape," Garcia argued.

"Then he's one of the people who took Declan. But I agree with Doyle, there's no way Gerace would do this alone. He's not brave enough or smart enough to kidnap Declan solo," Wren stated as Hotch entered the room.

"Welcome back," Morgan greeted the unit chief for the first time since his return to the states.

"Thanks. Everybody have a seat," Hotch instructed. Wren's eyebrows knitted together in confusion as she sat down.

"Why?"

"What's going on?" She asked as Morgan also questioned the reasoning.

"Seven months ago, I made a decision that affected this team," their boss pressed forward as JJ stood next to him. "As you all know, Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle."

"Yeah, she died from the blood loss," Wren stated, though she was perplexed by his reason to bring up her death. But she was even more confused by the fact that neither Hotch nor JJ would look her in the eye. 

"The doctors were able to stabilize her," he continued. Wren's expression could only be described as one of horror. She was almost convinced that this was either some sick joke, or she was dreaming. Every fiber of her being prayed it was the latter because none of what he was saying was funny. "And she was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under a covert exfiltration."

"Hang on a-"

"Her identity was strictly need-to-know," Hotch interrupted her. "Once she was well enough to travel, she was reassigned to Paris where she was given several identities. None of which we had access to for her security."

"She's alive?" Penelope asked, her eyes glassy and voice shaky.

Hotch didn't respond, hoping that his silence would give them a moment to process. But none of it made sense to them.

"But we buried her," Spencer noted, looking up at Hotch from his seat.

"As I said, I take full responsibility for the decision," Hotch reminded them and Wren scoffed, though there were tears forming in her eyes and she turned her head away from the group to shield any pride she had left. "If anyone has any issues, they should be directed toward me."

"Any issues?" Derek asked in disbelief. "Yeah, I got issues. And I bet Spader has a handful herself."

He looked over at the brunette, thinking she would start yelling, but she didn't. Instead, her attention was focused on the figure standing in the doorway and when Morgan followed her gaze, his expression matched the Wren's perfectly. In fact, the whole team looked in shock at the woman they believed they'd never get to see again.

And if Wren were honest, she really wasn't happy to see her. Hell, she wasn't even relieved. She was sick to her stomach and that feeling wouldn't go away for an incredibly long time. But for now, she was frozen in her place as she looked at a very alive Emily Prentiss. 

"Oh my god," Penelope muttered as the entire team just stared at the dark-haired woman.

After a few moments of silence filling the group, Spencer, Penelope, and Rossi all got up to hug Emily. Derek stood in his spot, staring at the woman in absolute disbelief. And Wren felt as though she was glued to her chair. If she got up, this was real. If she got up and hugged Emily Prentiss, all of that guilt, all of that grief, all of that healing was for nothing. 

"I am so sorry. I really am," Emily spoke to the team as she hugged Spencer. "Not a day went by that I didn't want to..." She looked between Derek and Wren before taking a step toward the man. "Really, I- You didn't deserve that. And I'm so sorry." She hugged Derek, though all he could do was place on hand on her back.

Spencer walked over to Wren and took her hand, squeezing it gently to make sure that she was with them mentally. As he looked in her eyes, he saw that they were glazed over in a way. It was as if she was lost in thought, but still, she squeezed his hand back with the same pressure that he used for her. And with his help, she stood up, her hand still holding onto his as though it were the only thing keeping her afloat. 

The two former undercover agents looked at each other and Wren almost broke down as she met Emily's eyes with her own. She probably would have if it weren't for Spencer. But she took a step toward Emily before the raven-haired woman closed the gap between them and wrapped her arms around Wren tightly. "I'm so sorry."

Again, Wren almost broke down when she heard Emily's voice waver. She placed her head on the brunette's shoulder as Wren just stood there, unable to return the hug or talk at all.

She had been in shock before, but it was never like this. This was incapacitating.

"There is so much I wanna tell you guys," Emily continued as she pulled away from Wren, who was still staring at a random spot across the room. Spencer squeezed her hand again, but she didn't squeeze back. It was all too much. "And I will, I promise. But right now, I really need to know what's going on with Declan."

Spencer walked toward Emily as he talked, dragging Wren along with him in the hopes that she would snap out of it. And it worked slightly. Some of her attention was pulled from all the lies she had been told to the question Spencer was asking. "Emily, was there a man living at the house?"

"Yes. My friend Tom Koehler. He was raising Declan as his own."

"Where is he?" JJ asked.

"I never saw him go in or out of that house," Garcia pointed out. 

"He was on assignment overseas," Emily told them.

"But he's alright?"

"Yes. He's on his way back now," she explained. "He got a call from Declan. He called me, and when I landed, Hotch told me that you have Doyle in custody."

"And because of Tom's line of work, that's why you enlisted Declan in boarding school," Hotch assumed.

"I made sure that he, Louise, and I were the only ones allowed to take him off campus," Emily continued. 

"Louise took him home last night because he was sick," Reid said. 

"Food poisoning," Wren muttered as the man next to her nodded. 

"Yeah, a few of the kids had it, apparently. So whoever did this, got to him on campus. They knew they only had one chance."

"Current suspect is Richard Gerace. He's the most recent arrival into the states," JJ informed Emily. "We've been tracking his progress through the city, but we came up empty."

"But we know it's him because he has the scar," Penelope added quickly.

"That doesn't make sense," Emily countered. "Gerace gave up on Doyle a long time ago. And he's not smart enough to execute something like this on his own."

"That's what I said," Wren reminded everyone, but they ignored her.

"He said that you were the only one who knew Gerace," Rossi spoke up.

"Which is why I'm pretty sure he doesn't have the balls to pull this off," Emily said before directing her attention to Wren, who was now showing more investment in the conversation. "Also, Spader knows just as much as I do about Doyle's enemies. If she says that someone couldn't do it on their own then she's right."

"There was no forced entry at the house and we've had two agents posted at the house for a few weeks now," Wren told her as she squeezed Reid's hand once and let go. Moving over to the evidence board, she continued. "We think Gerace and his partner posed as the next shift."

"And one of the agents was a woman," Reid added quickly, watching both Emily and Wren's faces drop. No one had told Wren that they were looking for a female unsub. If they had, they would've started the search a lot earlier in the day.

"She's the alpha," Emily stated.

"So we're looking for a woman who's getting back at Doyle," JJ concluded as Wren let out a dry laugh.

"And our list of potential suspects just got a whole lot longer."

✧✦✧

After connecting the rage taken out on the nanny, the team realized that they were likely looking for Declan's mother. And while Emily believed the woman was dead, Wren wasn't going to let the assumption she was dead keep them from following a lead.

The two former Interpol agents walked to the interrogation room in silence. Emily had so much she wanted to say to Wren but she knew now wasn't the time. They had a job to do and it was taking everything in Wren not to walk out of the building and say 'to hell with it all.' Emily had to keep them both on track otherwise they wouldn't find Declan.

Wren opened the door to Doyle's interrogation room and shielded Emily as they walked in. The look of disbelief mixed with amusement on Doyle's face once Emily was revealed wasn't as satisfying as Wren had hoped, but she didn't waste too much time on it. Instead, she let Emily walk ahead and shut the door to the room.

"Of course," Doyle greeted the formerly dead woman. "Should've known you had more than one life in you."

Emily didn't respond as she placed the photos of the women on the table in front of Doyle. "Which one is Declan's mom?"

He pointed at one of the photos. "Chloe Donaghy, but she had nothing to do with this."

"How do you know?" Wren asked as she texted the name to Spencer.

"Did you kill her, too?" Emily queried and the man looked down at his hands. Wren couldn't imagine what it would be like to know that you had tried and failed to kill two of the women you loved, but knowing that Doyle was probably incredibly disappointed in himself was making her feel better.

"Because she tried to kill Declan before he was ever born," Doyle countered. As he described what he did to Chloe to make sure she carried Declan to term, Wren couldn't help but feel nauseous and angry. And honestly, she didn't blame Chloe for wanting revenge on Doyle. If Wren were in her position, she'd probably been plotting his demise since day one.

"Who were her contacts in the states?" Prentiss questioned him after a few moments of digesting the information he had told them.

"Whoever they are, they're as good as dead," he replied. "She works her people, sucks them dry, and then moves on. She never wanted Declan. Why would she take him?"

"She didn't take Declan because she suddenly wants to be a mother. This is about you," Wren spoke up from her seat.

"You just told us you kept her a prisoner for nine months," Emily added on. 

"Seven," Doyle corrected and both women rolled their eyes.

"Seven," Emily repeated, shocked that he thought that made any difference. "Did Louise help to deliver Declan?"

Wren started flipping through the photos in the file as she waited for his answer. "Yes," he said.

She placed the photo of Louise as she lay dead and severely beaten in front of him. "That's called revenge, dipshit. You'd think you'd know a thing or two about it since you spent months trying to get back at Emily for making you think she got your son killed."

"Chloe didn't just forget about what you put her through," Prentiss stated.

"She would rather have been dead than to have my baby," Doyle told them as though that changed everything. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Let her get an abortion, not force her to through with a pregnancy she didn't want, allow her to make her own decisions," Wren listed off. "I don't know, Doyle, it sounds like you had a lot of options.

"And chaining her to a bed wasn't the Hail Mary you thought it was."

"She received a lot of money for her troubles," he told the women and Wren let out a laugh.

"That was torture, Ian," Emily said to him softly, thinking that would help get it through his thick skull.

"Money doesn't erase trauma," Wren added as she stood up, allowing Emily to sit down in front of Doyle. "It doesn't make it all just go away. That stuck with her."

"And you don't think she spent years figuring out how to do the same to you?" Prentiss asked him. "She took the only thing you love. What else would she and Gerace have to gain from taking Declan?"

"Money," he stated bluntly. "That's all she ever cared about."

It made sense to Wren. If word got out to Doyle's enemies that he had a son, there was no telling how much money those people would pay to get Declan just so they could torture Doyle.

Emily took out a piece of paper from the file. "I need a list of everyone with the kind of money they're looking for."

"Add anyone else who wants to hurt you to that list," Wren instructed.

"Well if that's the case then you can start with Wren Spader and Derek Morgan," he sassed and Wren rolled her eyes.

"If you want to play games, we can play games," the brunette retorted. "But every second we're sitting here listening to you bitch and moan, we're not looking for Declan."

✦✧✦

JJ, Hotch, Morgan, and Rossi all left for Baltimore after the team found a long-running feud between the McDermotts and the Doyles, leaving behind, Reid, Spader, and Prentiss to talk to Doyle once they found anything. Wren didn't want to sit in the observation room in silence anymore so she went to Garcia's lair, hoping to find any form of solace.

"Hey, Birdie, how are you doing?" the technical analyst asked.

"I don't have the time to process right now," Wren confessed to her and she nodded in understanding. "It all feels like a dream."

"A good dream right? I mean, we didn't actually lose Emily. She's alive. That's good," Penelope said as Wren sighed.

"It is good," she agreed, though the tone of her voice didn't match the optimism in her words. She tried to think of the right words to describe how she currently felt, but nothing came to mind. "I just... I think I'm still in shock. I'm sure I'll feel the same way you do once this is all over and I can actually talk to her, Hotch, and JJ."

The blonde nodded as she turned back to her screens. Wren sat in one of the open chairs and put her head in her hands. Her mind wasn't processing any of it. She thought that the more time she spent with the information, the more she'd understand, but that wasn't the case. Instead, the more she thought about it, the less she understood. And for Wren, not understanding was almost worse than thinking Emily was dead.

They hadn't even gotten a message from the team saying they were in Baltimore when Spencer entered Garcia's office and walked over to Wren. He took one of her hands off of her head and squeezed once. When she squeezed back, he knelt down to her level and gave her a small smile.

"What's on your mind?" He asked.

"That I want to turn back the clock seven months and force myself to go with Emily," she confessed. "Because if we both went, then she wouldn't have needed to fake her death."

"You don't know that," Spencer told her. "You both could've actually died if you went with her."

"And that currently sounds like a better option than whatever the hell this is," Wren retorted as she looked at him. "How are we supposed to do this?"

"One step at a time, okay? First, we need to find Declan, then we can figure out how to move forward."

"I hate having a job that doesn't allow me any time to process traumatic information," she muttered lowly and he chuckled.

"Yeah, that's one of the downsides," he agreed as he stood up. "Come on, the team should be getting to the warehouse soon."

Wren sighed and stood up to follow him out of the room and back over to the observation space. The expression Emily held in her features when she saw Wren was one full of regret. It would've been easy for Wren to forgive the woman right then and there, but she didn't. Both women knew that Wren didn't forgive or forget easily. Even after they found Declan, it would be a while before Emily saw the mercy of Wren's forgiveness.

The brunette stood silently on the other side of Reid as they all watched Doyle sit in the interrogation room, tapping his fingers patiently. The silence lasted a few minutes before Spencer got a text from JJ saying they arrived at the warehouse and then another few minutes before he got a call from her.

Emily and Wren listened to his side of the conversation. She was able to tell by the look on his face that it wasn't good news, but it also wasn't bad news. It was likely that Declan was already gone from that location, but not dead. 

When Spencer relayed the information to the women, Wren mouthed the words 'knew it' to herself as she watched him walk over to the door entering the interrogation room.

"Spencer, no one's supposed to-" Wren started but was cut off by the door closing behind him, "Go in there without my permission. He's as impulsive as me these days."

Emily laughed softly. She was glad to know that Wren and Spencer were still as close as they were before, if not more. The two of them were always something that Emily rooted for, though she wasn't sure if either of them had made any progress in the feelings department.

Wren didn't look over at Emily to see the small smile on her face. Instead, she was focused on what Spencer was saying to Doyle.

"Your ex is working with Lachlan McDermott," he told the convict. "How would he leave the country?"

"I don't know," Doyle said, causing Wren to roll her eyes. She was sick of those three words coming from his mouth. "He's got endless funds. You'll never stop him."

"He hates you, doesn't he?"

"More than you do."

"Then I think we should give him what he really wants," Reid replied. "You."

Wren's eyes widened before she knocked on the window twice, indicating for Spencer to come out.

"Is he crazy?" Emily muttered to Wren before Spencer joined them.

"Just a little, but who isn't?"

Reid entered the observation room to see two faces of apprehension. He knew that they would both kill him if Doyle escaped and by the fear flashing across Wren's face, he knew that it would take a lot of convincing for both of them to agree to his quickly-thought-up plan.

"We are not letting him out of here, Reid," Prentiss told him.

"Emily, I will chain myself to him if I have to," he retorted.

"He will find a way to escape," Wren argued.

"No, he won't. And we're running out of time," Spencer pressed, looking between the two women. "If we find McDermott now, we have a chance to save Declan."

Wren shook her head. She couldn't let Doyle get away again. She was well aware that Spencer had already won Emily over but she was going to be harder to convince. Emily cared about Declan a lot more than Wren did. All Wren could think about was what Doyle would do if he escaped. Who would he go after first as punishment for arresting him and getting his son kidnapped?

"He won't escape, Wren," Spencer repeated, a bit softer this time. It was like he was reading her mind. "They're in protective custody anyway. Even if he does, he can't get to them."

"You don't know that," she argued. "Foyet got to Haley and Jack while they were supposed to be in protective custody. What's to say that Doyle can't get to them?"

He didn't have an answer that would satisfy her. "I won't leave his side the entire time."

"And I'd rather die than have you be the first one he kills so he can escape," Wren replied quickly. Shaking her head once more, she sighed. She didn't like the plan, but in order to keep anyone else from dying due to her mistakes, she had to go along with it. "Fine, but I'm in charge of Doyle. If anyone is going down because of this, it's going to be me."

✧✦✧

After arguing with Strauss, Emily and Wren were reluctantly cleared to proceed with the 'trade.' The women, Reid, and Doyle all made their way via helicopter to the airstrip that the McDermott's owned and met up with the rest of the team. The jet that held Declan, Chloe, and Lachlan was on it's way to take off when the helicopter landed in front of it. 

"Lachlan McDermott and Chloe Donaghy, this is the FBI," Hotch's voice through the megaphone was barely audible to Wren as she pulled Doyle out of the helicopter. Spencer stood beside her and Emily was on the other side of Doyle. It all felt too sudden and too dangerous.

She really hated this plan.

"We know you have Declan," Hotch continued. "To ensure his safety, we would like to trade. We will give you Ian Doyle and you send us the boy."

It only took a matter of seconds for the steps to the jet to lower and Lachlan McDermott to exit the plane holding Declan stiffly by his shoulders. 

"Bring Doyle here!" Lachlan shouted, his gun pointed at the group of FBI agents as he did. The group with Doyle started to move away from the helicopter. With every step that they took closer to the man, Wren felt more and more uneasy. "I want him here on his knees."

She heard the voices of Hotch and Morgan in her intercoms but didn't pay any attention to them. All she could focus on was the gun pointed at the man next to her and the boy who looked like he was scared shitless.

"You bastard," Lachlan said as he looked at Doyle. "How's it feeling? It's your bloody time now, isn't it?"

The group stood there in silence for a few seconds before Lachlan asked for Doyle to be handed over. But before anyone could make any kind of trade at all, Morgan was shouting the word 'gun' and two shots rang out, followed by three coming from Reid's.

Wren barely had any time to process what had happened before she was falling to the ground with Doyle, clutching her arm as she felt the familiar and painful burn. It was always her damn arm and it always felt like someone was hitting her with a sledgehammer.

At least one thing in her life was consistent.

She couldn't pay attention to the reuniting of father and son as she was too distracted by her own pain. She heard the commotion of her teammates running around, trying to check the pulses of Lachlan and Chloe. She felt Morgan put pressure on her wound and she yelled at him for not giving a warning. 

She couldn't even process that it was actually over. 

✦✧✦

So there she finally sat, in front of seven board members, all of whom had the job of deciding if what the BAU did was really necessary.

"How are you feeling, Agent Spader?" The man in the center of the table asked her in reference to the arm that sat in a sling.

"Like I got shot, Mr. Chairman," Wren replied bluntly. She knew that they had already gone over the timeline with the rest of the team. She was going to be questioned on the why. She didn't want the small talk. If being blunt was the best way to get them to ask their stupid questions, that's the path she'd take.

"But you didn't have to, right?" He retorted. "You didn't have to get shot that night."

"If you're implying that Chloe Donaghy didn't have to fire more than one bullet towards Doyle or that she could've had better aim, then I agree with you," she said. "However, if you're implying that our course of action that led to me getting shot could've been different, then I respectfully disagree."

"Why is that?"

"We were running out of time to save Declan Doyle from potentially being killed," the brunette explained. "If we had waited, if we had followed every single protocol that the United States has to offer, he would have been dead or out of the country where the only thing he had to look forward to was torture. Torture for being the son of a man so many people hated. Torture for something that he didn't sign up for when he was born. He didn't deserve that. So we acted quickly. In our line of work, we can't always wait for approval. There have been countless instances in U.S. history where government agents and officers have gone against protocol or acted without approval. Sometimes we hurt more than we help, but saving Declan Doyle was not one of those times. If you're too worried about protocol and rules to see that we saved an innocent child and made a decision that led to three international criminals being terminated, then that's your problem. We did our job and we did it the best we could."

"Do you take any responsibility for what happened after the arrest of Ian Doyle?"

"Of course, I do," Wren replied, offended that he thought so little of her. "I had a part in getting us where we were, as did everyone else. If I could take full responsibility for it, I would. But I can't."

The questioning continued for an hour. They would ask some stupid questions and Wren would answer as straightforwardly as she could. By the end of her questioning, Wren didn't care what they decided. She told them what happened and why it did. There was no longer an obligation to anyone to force them to see things from her point of view. 

She rejoined her teammates in the hallway for ten minutes before the whole group was called back inside. Taking a seat between Emily and Derek, Wren honestly didn't want to hear whatever the chairman had to say to all of them. And she could try to tune them out, but it wasn't worth the effort that would take her.

"This team took many unprecedented risks," the chairman said to them. "None were approved. The DIOG has rules, and you chose to ignore every last one. That's blatant disrespect to the bureau and to the authority of law in general. What I find interesting is that you are the experts in behavior but find nothing wrong with yours."

"May I?" Emily asked and the chairman nodded. "The journey was not traditional, but this team neutralized four international criminals and saved the life of a young boy in the process."

"You and Agent Spader started a war with Ian Doyle years ago that this team and the U.S. government had to finish," he countered and Wren scowled.

"You're acting like it was our choice for Doyle to break out of prison and put us through all the things he did," Wren replied harshly. Both Morgan and Emily placed hands on her arms in an attempt to calm her down, but it didn't help. Misdirecting blame was something Wren didn't have the tolerance for anymore. "You have every right to be upset that Ian Doyle made his way into the U.S. and killed people. You have every right to be upset that you paid for a funeral for someone who was actually alive. Hell, I'm with you on that one. But one thing that I will not stand for is you placing blame on Agent Prentiss and me for doing our jobs when we were undercover."

"Agent Sp-"

"If you want to be upset at someone, be upset at the people who broke Ian Doyle out of prison," she cut him off. "Be upset with Ian Doyle, but don't act like it's our fault when the U.S. Government actually did nothing to stop Doyle after he attacked Agent Prentiss."

The chairman didn't say anything for a few moments as he and Wren had a staring contest. Her eyes were full of anger as she looked at the man she lacked any form of respect for. Besides, the worst he could do currently was get her badge revoked. And that was something she could live with.

"The rest of you are dismissed," he stated as he broke eye contact and looked down at his papers. "Agent Prentiss, we're not done."

✧✦✧

The team was gathering around Emily's picture on the wall of fallen agents when Spencer joined them. Derek and Wren both walked right past them. Derek walked past the group because he wasn't ready to accept that it was real and that everyone was acting like they weren't lied to for seven months. For Wren, she walked past them for those exact reasons and because she wasn't going to stand there and act like they were some big happy family. In her eyes, that family was long gone. 

"Morgan, Spader," Hotch called after them, causing them to stop walking and look at their boss. "I know what you've been through. I understand that you're both angry, but I hope that you understand that is not about either of you. Or me. This was about saving Emily."

Before either of them could respond, Strauss exited the elevator and walked past the group saying, "We need to talk." Hotch walked away from them and the rest of the team followed suit.

"Understand, my ass," Wren muttered as Morgan patted her on the shoulder and pushed her forward so they could join the team in the roundtable room.

"The committee made it clear that they will not support a rogue team," Strauss informed them once they were all gathered. "Agent Prentiss convinced them you were not that."

Wren didn't care anymore.

"They will be watching you closely," the section chief continued. "So I suggest you play by their rules."

"So we're okay?" Garcia asked after a few seconds.

"Suspension has been lifted for everyone."

"Thank you, ma'am," JJ said.

"There may be more paperwork considering your... situation," Strauss spoke to Emily. "But the team is lucky to have you if you're interested."

"May I think about it?" She asked.

"Of course," Strauss nodded.

"I'm in," Emily said a few moments later, smiling and getting a few chuckles from the rest of the group.

Wren didn't participate.

"I have a stack of cases on my desk," Strauss told the team. "I'm happy to pass them all off to you."

"I'll pick them up in the morning," Hotch said as Strauss left the room.

Derek started to ask Emily a question when Wren left the room, following Strauss.

"Chief Strauss?" she called to the section chief, who turned to face her as they stood in viewing distance of the team through the window.

"Yes, Agent Spader?"

"I was wondering if I could be transferred back to just working under you," Wren said. "Not working with the team anymore and just doing solo cases."

Strauss sighed as she looked at the brunette. She couldn't imagine the pain that Wren was feeling, both physical and psychological. And if she had a job to offer her, Strauss would've done so.

"Unfortunately, I've recently filled your former position," she admitted to her.

"Really? Who is it?" Wren asked, brows furrowed.

"He's a transfer from the Chicago office. He starts next week, you can meet him then."

"I don't know if I'll be here next week," Wren confessed and Strauss shook her head.

"Of course, you will. As much as you feel betrayed by some of the members of your team, we both know that you care about the rest of them too much to just walk away."

Wren didn't reply.

"Give it some time," Strauss suggested. "Be angry as much as you want. We all know you deserve to be. But try to see it from their point of view and eventually, allow yourself to move on."

The brunette sighed as the section chief walked away from her. She stood there staring at her teammates through the window contemplating if all of the pain, heartache, and betrayal were worth it. If she'd ever get to heal enough before the next problem came along.

Wren knew that she'd never get the closure she thought she would from arresting Doyle. But she did get to close this chapter of her life. She did get to move on to the next one.

But that didn't mean that the next chapter would be any better.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

8k + words in this one oopsies

yay long chapters and yay me updating (wooo!!!)

sorry if there's any typos, this isn't edited lol

wren's probably gonna be cold, distant, and angry for the next few chapters but honestly it's a big slay i don't blame her at all

all of the comments saying they want her to stay mad longer than one episode don't worry bc its coming. 

anyway, thanks for all the reads and votes and sometimes comments! i appreciate you all <3

with love, robin!