It was dark. I didn't know how long I'd been laying on the floor. One minute? Two minutes? Three hours? All night? But it wasn't  like I cared anymore. My body was numb and my face was covered in tear stains. I'm barely clothed, if you could call underwear wrapped around my ankle, a bra that is unhooked and my dress around my hips as barely. 

     There was no more music, the party was over. It had been for who knows how long. I can't help but shake and when the door opens all I could do is wrap my arms around my legs and sob. Can they just leave? Couldn't they have killed me? What was the point of holding a gun to my head if they weren't going to kill me?

Whoever walked in didn't say anything, but a hand made contact with my arm and I screamed.

    "Stay away from me!" 

I sounded pathetic. What was meant to be a demand was weak and breaking. The person held onto my wrists and I stopped fighting it and sobbed. Leave. Stop. Just leave.

    "Hey, I'm not going to hurt you. What happened?" I look up and met blue/green eyes. His hair was dark and short and he had a growing beard. I tried to tell him, I really did. but I couldn't because the lump in my throat grew and I fell into his arms and sobbed. He rubbed my back and my crying became harsher and breathier. 

"Okay, come on. Let's get up." He tried helping me up and for some reason I started laughing. I look at his face and he looked back in shock. I choke on the laughter, the strangled smile going away as I open my mouth to form words. "I'm going crazy."

     I cry as he helps me up on the cushioned couch. He clipped my bra and started pulling up my panties, I winced and he stopped. "I- I got it."

I pulled them up and try to stand so I could pull on the dress. But I just end up falling into his arms and letting him do it for me. He didn't bother with putting my arms through the straps. He just lead me out of the hell hole.

    ~~~

"Huh?" The man looked up at me and I pulled the blankets closer around my body. He brought me to his home and gave me a few blanket and a warm drink. The house was obviously expensive but I hadn't taken in the details. Only that it's obviously owned by someone who made good money. I let the hot chocolate warm my fingers as I cleared my throat.

    "What is your name?" I repeated the question and he makes an oh noise before turning to me. He placed the fire poker to the side and sits on a chair that was further from him, completely ignoring a vary comfortable looking one that seemed to be made of purple material. 

"Johnny." He told me and I nodded slowly, processing the name.

     "My names Amberly." I said quickly, holding out my hand. He smiled at me as I finish quietly, dropping my hand in my lap. "Amberly Quinzel." 

"Frost." He told me his last name and I nodded slowly. I cast my gaze to the fire, watching as it flickered in strange yet alluring ways. I have my legs firmly pressed together and I feel like puking at the thoughts of tonight's events mingle in my brain. Johnny seemed to know what had happened, but for some reason didn't call the cops. But I was grateful for that, I don't want to talk about it. It's too . . I can barely even think clearly. 

       I brought my attention back to Johnny. He's sitting back and has a look of concentration on his face. As if he were thinking about something. But that trail of thought was obviously broken when the front door swung open. I jumped and quickly placed the drink on the table. I instinctively wrap myself in the blanket and slide lower in the chair.

"Hey Frost! Where- who's she?" The man asked and I move the blanket up more. Johnny glared at him as I felt eyes wondering over me.

       "A friend. What do you want?" He asked and the guy scoffed.

"Boss wouldn't like hearing that you have girls over when you should be-" the guy began but Johnny cut him off while pinching his forehead. "She's not- Mind your own business!"

      The guy leaves and I bite at my lip. Boss? That doesn't sound good. 

"Our boss is on a . . business trip. He won't be back for a while. Nothing to worry about." Johnny reassured me and I nodded slowly.

    "Thank you." I mumbled quietly and he glanced up at me. He looked surprised.

"For uh. For helping me out." I whispered and he shrugged.

       "I'm sure anyone else would. . Well most people." He shrugged and I scoff, this catches his attention.

"My boyfriend didn't." I mumbled and looked him in the eyes. He looked shocked and my mind wondered back to Mason. Cheating was a low for him. But leaving me? Just leaving when he heard. When he knew I didn't want to be there he didn't help. I know he wassn't strong enough, heck, the guy would be knocked out with the flick of a wrist by them. But I think, as an unspoken rule, you're supposed to stand up for you partner no matter what. 

    "If you want, you can-"

"I want to go home." I cut him off and he nodded after a few seconds and gets up. I followed slowly and he took my arm and lead me out. I left my shoes and once I'm in the car, I leaned against the door. Mason won't be home. He's never home. 

     I didn't pay attention to how long the drive was. But I was in a daze and by the time we were in front of my apartment building it was two in the morning. I was tired, I just want to sleep and I'm almost tempted to just stay with Johnny. But it doesn't sound like it would be good for him if I stayed, after hearing what that guy said about his boss. Johnny is a nice guy and I don't want him getting hurt because of me. I don't really care about whatever business he's in, only that he helped me. 

"Here, I'll help you to your room." Johnny parks in front of the three story building. He quickly got out and by the time I was getting out he was already there and holding the door. I took it and when he asked for the keys I held up my hand bag. He pulled it out and asked which key I have to use to open the door. We ended up taking the elevator and after telling him which room I'm in I almost found myself falling asleep on his shoulder.

     "Amber?" Johnny called my name but I ignored it as he stopped. I heard the shuffling sound of keys and the door unlocking. I follow him in and I'm about to say thank you. But what I heard in the almost silent apartment stopped me and all I saw was red.

Before I knew it, I had ran to my bedroom. Throwing open the door and watching as my boyfriend quickly tore away from a brunette. I barely paid attention to her, scoffing and staring at his shocked face as my voice broke. "You fucking asshole."

    I slammed the door shut and heard him following me. Johnny was idling at the door and I ignored him, storming into the living room. The bedroom door flew open.

"Amber! Look! I can explain!" He sounds like he was bagging and all I wanted to do was hit him. I hadn't realized I had stopped in the kitchen, holding onto the kitchen counter for dear life.

     "Get out." I growled.

"Amber! I-"

     "Get. Out." My eyes began to sting as my vision became blurry. I found my right hand wrapped around something and my thoughts were in a jumble. He left me. he left me with strangers, listened to me scream for him and then went to our home and fucked some random bimbo in our room on our bed. 

"Listen to me!" Mason screamed and I swung whatever was in my hands and screamed back.

     "Get out!" I was shaking out of anger and I couldn't think straight. I dropped the object and tugged at my hair. "GET OUT!"

"Are you fucking crazy!?" Mason snapped and I look at him. His cheek was bleeding from a cut, and I didn't care.

       "I'm crazy?" I laughed like a mad woman in agony and he made an over exaggerated gesture with his hands. "Yeah! You just came at me with a knife!"

Kill him! I don't recognize that voice. Who's talking? Attack him! No. Kill him! "Get out!" I hissed and tried to ignore the voices bouncing off the walls.

      "You're a fucking coward!" I screamed and shoved him and he shoved me back. He pushed me into the counter harshly and tried to kiss me in an awkward attempt of shutting me up but it only made everything become even redder if possible. 

"Get off!" I screamed and tried to shove him off and he only shoved me against the counter again. I reached for a fork laying on the table and he seemed to notice because next thing I knew, he had a painful hold on my wrists. Everything was happening so fast and all I felt was pain as he shoved me against the counter for the third time and kneed me in the gut. The only thing I heard was the sound of a gun loading.

      My eyes snapped open and landed on Johnny who stood at the entrance. He had a gun held up and pointed at Masons head. Mason must of heard it too because his grip loosened and he looked back, just noticing him. As he was distracted I grabbed the glass vase full of flowers and smashed it across the back of his head. He tensed up and fell to the ground, knocked out.

I covered my mouth with my hands and I could feel them shaking as I stared at his limp body. A kitchen knife is on the floor near him and I can barely comprehend the situation that just happened. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy!

       "Amber?" Johnny took a step forward and I cracked.

"Johnny?" I whimpered and he quickly walked to me and pulled me away from Mason's limp body. I couldn't help but cry.

        "Shh, it's going to be okay. I'll bring you-" he started and I quickly pulled back.

"No." I whimper and he gave me a confused look. 

       "I'm not staying in your boss's house." I whispered and he sighed.

"Do you have somewhere else to go?" When he asked the question, a familiar face popped in my head. But I ignored it as I pulled out my phone. 

    ~~~

 I had ended up calling Elizabeth eighteen times but she ignored them. Then Jason twenty times but they all went to voice mail. They are in bed. Asleep. It was two in the morning. So I came up with the next best thing. Grabbing a blanket, pillow and anything needed for work I followed Johnny out into the rain.

             "You work at Arkahm?" Johnny asks me and I nodded, playing with my hair. My attention was outside of the car and I could tell he wanted to ask me something, but I was too tired to say anything. Eventually we were outside the building and he stopped at the guards, pulling at his hood.

 "Name?" One guard asked and I leaned forward, holding up my ID.

         "Doctor Quinzel. He's a friend." I called and the gates opened enough for a single person to come in. This was them obviously saying only I could enter the premises. So I turned to Johnny and give him the best smile I could.

 "Bye Johnny." I mumbled and gave him a quick hug, he hugged me back awkwardly and I grabbed my things. I jumped out and walked with a guard to the gate and as they shut loudly Johnny backed up and drove away. I hoped he was looking back because I smiled, waving him another goodbye.

       By the time we were inside, I was soaking and smelled of rain. I was grateful I had put the blanket and pillow in a large grocery bag. The guard left me and I walked up to the receptionist.

"Doctor Amberly Quinzel? What are you doing here?" She looked at me. She's confused and I smiled as best I could. 

       "A rough night, I have nowhere else to stay." I explained and she glanced to the back. 

"Please," I was almost bagging and she sighs before picking up the phone. She dialed a number and I didn't pay attention to the conversation until she hung up. I gave her a hopeful look and she nodded, I walked to the door and pressed my card to the scanner. I walked inside and only glanced at the guards as I walk down the long hallways. I eventually made it to my office where I locked my door. I dropped my things by the desk with a huff and walked around the table. I pushed the chair back and grabbed a pillow and blanket. 

     After placing the two objects on the ground, I laid down and hugged the pillow. I didn't know how long it took me to fall asleep, but it happened slowly. The night's events swarming around in my head.

~Next Day//3:00pm~

      What is that annoying sound? I groan and go to roll on my side, but a shot of pain ran horizontally across my back and I hissed. I dropped back onto my back and everything hurt while I was still in the daze of sleep. My eye's felt puffy and my hair was damp and smelled like rain. My wrists were a similar aching feeling and my aching . . center is all I need to help me fully wake up.

I'm half under my office table and I groaned as the nights events come to mind. With a huff, I slowly crawled out from under the desk and discovered my muscles ache from either sleeping on the hard cold floor or sleeping in a weird position. Once in my chair, I kick the blanket under so it and the pillow can't be seen. The annoying sound stopped and I run a hand through my hair. 

      Just don't think about it. My mind screamed at me. Distract yourself. I groaned at the feeling of a massive headache as that sound goes off again.

"What the fuck is-" I started but my eyes land on my bag. I slowly grabbed for it and found that the annoying sound is one of my ringtones. I slowly answered.

    "Hello." My voice is strained and I cringed at the sound of it.

"Amber!? I've been trying to get a hold of you since I woke up." Jason's voice rang and I wince back. He sounded worried. 

      "I- I'm fine. Are you at work yet?" I asked and moved my feet under my bum. I wrapped an arm around my stomach.

"No. I'm just about to leave. Why?" He sounded relieved, but I didn't think he believed the claim that I was fine. But I also think he was the type to not push it when the person doesn't want to talk about it.

    "Can you get me a coffee and blueberry muffin? I . . came to work early and didn't get anything to eat." I just realized that I hadn't eaten last night either, but that was the least of my worries.

"Yeah, sure . . you're sure you're okay?" He asked and I nodded. "Yeah, bye Jase."

     I lean back in the chair before slowly getting up. I quickly grabbed my white coat and wrapped it around my body before grabbing my key and bag and slowly opening the door. I looked down the hall, sunlight shining through bared windows. When I saw no one was out, I made a quick B-Line for the employees bathroom. Once inside, I locked the door before looking in the mirror.

My eyes weren't puffy or red like I expected. My hair was a mess along with my makeup and my dress was wrinkled. Slowly I pealed off the jacket, my eyes landing on hand like bruises around my wrists. I instantly remembered the events in my apartment and had to close my eyes to calm myself. I remembered the similar sharp feeling on my back and didn't have to check to know there was a long purple bruise back there. 

     I opened my eyes and sighed before turning on the water and splashing my face. I wiped off my makeup and pulled the small ponytail out. I quickly brushed it before putting it back in the half up style and redoing my makeup and after I closed my jacket around my dress I left. Once in my office I locked the door and sat down again. My mind was blank and all I could think about that wouldn't make me think about last nights events was work. Checking the time, I groaned. It was past my session time with Nygma and I only had one other patient.

~~~

      "Good afternoon Joker." I sighed as I walked into the room with my coffee, having finished the food Jason got me. I took a seat and looked up to see the Joker. I'm strangely comforted by his almost grey blue eyes, even if I was still mad. Anything to get my mind off the other nights events made me feel a whole lot better.

I had been debating whether or not to have a session with him. But I had decided that I could get it off my mind. But when I sat in front of him, he just glared. I sighed.

       "Good afternoon Mr J." I caved in and he suddenly leaned in, smiling at me.

"Oh, I can tell you meant that." He grinned and I rolled my eyes as he made a squeaky laugh.

      "It's the only way you'll answer me. ." I sighed and proceeded with our session. He had ended up with that scowl on his face again and it was becoming annoying. This is suppose to make me feel better. Can he not just smile? The simple thought of my guilty request almost made me cringe.

"What is your name?" I asked the question blankly, the same as every session. When I look up he was glaring again. I sat up in challenge.

      "What . . is your name?" I asked again and when he didn't answer I rolled my eyes.

"Joker." I sighed in annoyance.

      "It's Mr J. . Puddin." He growled the nickname I had made up at our last session and somehow he made it sound like a threat. 

"Can you just cooperate and be my patient!" I snapped and his glare became harsher in a way I couldn't explain.

      "Get it off your chest baby," he growled and I stood up, placing my hands flat on the table. He leaned forward in his chair and I glared.

"I have nothing to get off my chest." I hissed and he just laughed at me. Taunting and most especially irritating. 

      "There we go," he laughed and I stopped myself. I realized that he wanted me to snap at him. No. I won't give him that satisfaction. I leaned forward on the table, breaking space between us.

"Oh I know what your doing." I accused with a playful grin. I ended up almost across the table and all he had to do was lean a little closer and we ended up so close that the low growl sounded so loud and the scar above his left eye was so prominent. "I'm not giving you that satisfaction mistah J."

       A grin spread across his lips and I could tell that it was genuine. Against my will, I felt the corner of my lips quirking upward and any events that happened prier disappeared. It was just us and I both hated and loved it. 

"There you go doll," he growled and I found myself not flinching when his forehead made contact with mine. I didn't sit down or jerk back and he seemed to like it, as he hummed a throaty growl. I was instantly calmed and found myself closing my eyes. I feel . . . comfort?

     "What is that?" The Joker suddenly growled and my eyes snapped open. I jerked backwards and my butt hit my chair. I felt dizzy and hot and his glare was on my wrists. Quickly I looked and saw the sleeve of my jacket had ridden up. Instantly I dropped my hands onto my lap and out of his sight. His glare hardened and this time I didn't feel adrenaline, I felt like I was in trouble. 

"Nothing." I mumbled and tucked my hair behind my ear. The night before flooded in my brain as I reached for my pen, but the Joker's growl stopped me. I flinched back and made eye contact, his eyes were colder and darker then I've ever seen them as he repeated his question.

      "What . Is . That." He said slowly and menacingly. I found myself wanting to make sure that the straight jacket was on correctly. He stretched his neck out, moving his head and flexing his jaw as if stretching it as he growled. 

"I said nothing." I snapped and he laughed, leaning forward again. "Tell me now."

     "It doesn't matter to you Joker." I snapped and he growled again. 

"Oh I think it does." He snarled, laughing in a maniac way as he talked. Anger and laughter mixed together and I felt like if he weren't in that jacket, I would be in serious trouble for my life. I tightened my hands into fists.

     "Back off J." I hissed and he glared.

"Oh, I'm not asking you Amber." I hadn't comprehended the fact that he said my real name. The anger had built up and I snapped.

    "I was raped!" I stood up abruptly and he stared at me in almost shock. I leaned forward on the table. "Happy Mr J?"

He growled at me, like a lion being taunted by a kid who was out of reach, safely behind the glass. He didn't say anything so I continued.

   "I went to the club last night with my friends and boyfriend. We were invited to VIP and Mr high and mighty wanted me to himself and his friend. Want to know what's only the icing on top? My boyfriend left me, even when I was screaming for him to save me." Again we were leaning in closer out of anger and challenge.

"The cherry on top was that when I went home my boyfriend was fucking some brunette in our bed. Our bed! I tell him to leave and guess what else happens!? I cut him with a knife. But he wasn't going to let that slide so he pushed me against the counter and tried kissing me." I laughed  in agony. "When he gets caught he finally wants me!? So want to know where these bruises came from? My own boyfriend who wouldn't let me go until I smashed a flower vase at his pathetic head."

       I wasn't angry anymore. He's stared me in the eyes, not breaking contact as I vented and found myself not wanting to stop there. He was the only one who was listening and I needed to get it all off my chest. Even when it was about him.

"You know something that sucks?" My voice cracked and he just stared at me. "When I thought about someone, who I wanted to be there for me it wasn't my friends. I didn't want to go sleep at a friends house or think about my boyfriend when I was scared. I thought of a sociopath in an asylum."

     Saying it out loud made me realize that I was beginning to care. I've been crossing a line that an employee shouldn't cross with any patient. It was wrong and in my case, deadly.

"But this sociopath likes to laugh at my pain and I know he can't care. I know you can't care because your so messed up in the brain that you don't even know how." I knew I couldn't go back to having him as a patient. By telling him this I couldn't go back to treating it as just a session. He'll use it against me. So when I grabbed my things, I knew this was going to be my last session with him.

    "This session is over." My voice broke as I turned away from him. He hadn't said anything and I still felt him staring at me. For some reason I wanted him to say something, even if it hurt me. 

When my hand grazed the door handle he finally spoke. His voice bounced off the walls and made me freeze to the spot and made my blood run cold. I tried comprehending what he had said and couldn't help but ask, "what?"

     My voice was weak and when I looked at him through my hair I was surprised. His eyes were dark like he was out for blood and the twisted look of anger and vulnerability were in his features. He repeated the three words that made shivers run down my spine.

"I'll kill them." He repeated himself and I just stared at him, we didn't break eye contact and my heart was hammering as his gaze hardened. "I promise."

    I left the room as quickly as I could. The guards watched me as I speed walked as quick as I could, wiping away a stray tear that snuck it's way onto my cheek. I sniffled and as the lump grew bigger I crashed into the hallway leading to the medical wing. I slid down the wall and covered my mouth.

I was having a panic attack, gasping for air as I tried to comprehend what had just happened. But all I could hear in my head was his promise. I'll Kill Them.