A/N: as the battle continues, the natives of Namek are revived thanks to earth's dragons balls and now, only You, Goka, Frieza and Cooler were left on the planet.

On Namek, Porunga emerged from the water, now back to life.

(At Guru's place).

Guru had appeared to have woken up.

Guru: Aaaah! Oh. Oh... right. I stopped my heart for a couple minutes there.

(Dick move, you fat bastard).

Guru soon noticed the destruction of Namek.

Guru: oh, God, global warming? NAAAAAIIILLLL!!!

Meanwhile, Logan was taking on a beaten and battered Salza. Salza tried his best to try and slash Logan down, but it was no use.

Logan: if this is all that you have to offer, I'm mildly disappointed.

He said before dodging one last slash from Salza before punching him far into an island. Salza came out of the rubble as he could barely stand.

Salza: damn you! Damn You! I will make you pay for zis!

Logan: you're no long in any more condition to fight. You're not worth it at this point.

Logan said as he turned his back to him and started to fly off to the ship, Salza fired his only attack left, which Logan simply titled his head away from it and it missed.

Salza: ?!

Logan put one hand over his shoulder and shot a fire blast directly at Salza.

Salza's mind: I will see you in space hell, cousin Jeice.

The blast hit and eradicated him.

Logan: Logan: 3. Armor Squad: 0.

(In a Namekian village).

All of Namekians in the village were waking up, being brought back to life by Shenron.

Mouri: ah, why is my neck so stiff?

(At Vegeta's grave).

A few muffled noises were heard before she emerged from her grave.

Vegeta: when there's no more room in hell, VEGETA SHALL WALK THE...

She turned around noticed the destruction of Namek.

Vegeta: ...other hell, what the hell?

Vegeta's mind: well, I have my clothes back...... so at least that's a start. Am I alive?

She punched himself in the ribs.

Vegeta: Argh! Augh!

She fell on the ground from the pain.

Vegeta: Yay! I'm alive!

She coughed blood on the ground.

(With Dende's body).

Dende woke up and got on his feet.

Dende: I'm alive? I'm alive! And...

He noticed Porunga in the distance.

Dende: and I have an idea.

https://youtu.be/ozS30ojQPNU

Meanwhile in the battle, You fired a Hyper Beam at Cooler, the blast of which sent him flying and crashing into the side of a cliff. You then slammed into him and used iron tail to try and hit him. However, he grabbed your tail and slammed You against the cliff before then proceeding to toss You to the ground. Cooler rushed at You to try and slam his foot onto your chest, but, you got out of the way in time and he ended up hitting the ground instead. You used iron tail again and got him in the stomach, getting Cooler in pain. You took this as an opportunity to bash your head against his stomach before slamming his body to the ground.

(Y/N): I think I'll be doing the planting here, asshole!

You slammed your head against his body before You pushed Cooler into the ground and You burrowed. With Goka and Frieza, Frieza rammed straight into Goka and buried her in a hole hundreds of feet underground before jumping out of the hole, which exploded with lava.

Frieza: well, now you're Super Saiyan soup, high in vitamin dumbass!

She laughed and looked up at the sky.

Frieza: huh? Oh, God, what's up with the sky? This planet really is about to blow. I give it like... two minutes tops. I better get to my ship and....

She got kneed in the face by Goka. As this was going on, You and Cooler burst out of the ground. With Cooler stopped himself in the air near a lake. You shot an ice beam at the water under Cooler, the impact of the blast cause a part of the water to burst up while Cooler was there. It froze around him and trapped him in the ice. However, the ice gave a purple glow before Cooler shattered the ice around him.

Frieza: stop that! Stop not dying! You think you're better than me? You're nothing but an overgrown monkey!

Goka: and you're nothing but an overgrown that thing Chi-Chi keeps in her drawer when I come over to her place sometimes!

Goka's mind: man, Freezer's stronger than ever at a hundred percent. I'll have to stratergize. I know, a distraction!

She the yelled out loud to Frieza.

Goka: hey look, Freezer! A giant dragon!

She said referring to Porunga.

Frieza: What?

She looked over and saw Porunga.

Frieza: Well, I'll be damned! Immortality is mine!

She flew off.

Goka's mind: oh, I am become error.

She flew after Frieza. This soon caught Cooler's attention as he saw the two flying to the direction of Porunga.

Cooler: son of a.....

He flew after Frieza.

Cooler: like hell you're getting that wish!

(Y/N): hey, get back here!

You chased after him.

Goka managed to catch up to Frieza and once again engaged her in battle.

Frieza: will you just piss off already!?

Goka: I don't have to use the bathroom!

Cooler: both of you can piss off. That wish is mine!

Cooler said before he kneed Frieza in the stomach.

Frieza: you son of a........

You soon caught up and wrapped your tail around Cooler's and tossed him away from Goka and Frieza. As that went on, Vegeta was flying in the sky.

Vegeta's mind: all right, I know one of the Ginyu's ships must be around here somewhe.... 

She soon saw You and Goka, along with Cooler and Frieza battling it out.

Vegeta's mind: yeah, I think I'ma stay away from that one.

She then saw Porunga.

Vegeta: that, however. Mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine...

Back at the battle, Frieza dodging one of Goka's attacks and proceeded to grab her boobs and twist them.

Goka: ah, my nips!

Frieza: filthy wish dragon, grant me immortality as so I may rid myself of these vile creatures, and secure myself as ruler of all creation!

Porunga: your wish has been granted.

He said in his native language before the Namekians started disappearing.

Frieza: what? No! This isn't what I wished for! What's going on?!

Cooler: did you manage to screw even the simplest thing as a wish?!

Frieza: I didn't wish for that!!!!

Dende: down here!

Frieza looked down and saw, Dende, who was beaming proudly.

Frieza: you! No... No, you didn't!

Dende: so what if I did? What are you gonna do about it, huh? Come at me, bro!

Frieza: hyah!

She fired a blast at Dende, but the latter poofed away before it hit.

Vegeta: hey Frieza! Hope you're ready to party, because it's Vegeta clo....

She disappeared before she could attack Frieza. Guru, Ginyu Frog, Logan, Piccolo, Bulma, and Gohan, disappeared before Porunga rose in the sky and vanished.

(Y/N):........ wait what? 0_0

Frieza: no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NOOOOOOO...

All seven Dragon Balls rose in the sky and got separated.

Frieza: what just happened? Where did they all go?

Goka: yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I'm actually just as lost as you.

(On Earth).

Burma's mind: huh? Are we...?

Bulma: huh?

She said as Gohan appeared on a tree.

Gohan: Bulma!

Bulma: Gohan! What do you think happened?

Gohan: I don't know. We just disappeared all of a sudden.

Dende's mind: ahhh, it's good to be the king.

King Kai soon contacted Dende telepathically.

King Kai: hello? Who am I speaking to right now?

Dende telepathically replied back.

Dende: my name is Dende.

King Kai: Dende? Are you the one who made the wish on the dragon?

Dende: I am.

King Kai: how the hell did you know my plan?

Dende: what plan? I just wanted to screw over Frieza.

(Back to Namek).

Goka: you know, if it makes you feel any better, I'm not immortal, either. And I'm okay with that.

Frieza looked at Goka and started growling in anger.

Goka: are you just mad cause I'ma outlive you now?

Cooler: or perhaps the fact she can't even get a plan to obtain immortality correctly.

(Y/N): hey, focus on your REAL opponent here.

Cooler: I am.

(Y/N): so that's how you wanna play it?

Frieza: GRRR!

She punched Goka into the ground.

Frieza: Aaaaaahhh!

She started charging up a 100% Death Ball.

Frieza: Bigger!

The Death Ball grew bigger.

Frieza: Bigger!

It grew more bigger.

Frieza: BIGGER!

The Death Ball grew even more bigger.

Frieza's mind: Perfect!

Cooler: oh real impressive.

He said mockingly.

Frieza: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

You flew far from the blast as Frieza threw the Death Ball at Goka, Cooler simply moved a few inches away to dodge the blast. Goka managed to catch the Death Ball with both hands.

Goka: Yaaaah!

Goka punched the Death Ball away from Namek, which blew up a nearby planet.

Goka: Nice try! But you won't be destroying any more planets!

There was floating rubble of the destroyed planet near Namek.

Goka: um... except, you know... that one... Hm.

Cooler: dumbass.

You came back and slammed into Cooler, sending him flying.

Cooler: damn it!

Frieza grabbed Goka from behind with a bear hug, causing Goka to squeak.

Goka: ah! Bad touch! Kidney shot!

She elbowed Frieza in the ribs, causing the tyrant to whimper in abject pain. She then proceeded to do it a few more times.

Goka: kidney shot, kidney shot, kidney shot, and pause... stomach punch!

She punched Frieza hard in the stomach, causing her to cough up blood and fall to the ground.

Frieza: gonna wiz red...

You and Cooler were going back and forth trading blows with each other. You iron tailed him in the side of the head, which he replied to by grabbing Your tail and swung your around, making your body collided against rocks. He soon let go and sent you flying across the ground and replying with his own one handed yellow beam. It made contact with You and exploded.

Cooler: so, had enough? Because I'd really prefer going onto killing the saiyan from killing my sister before I then go onto killing my sister.

The smoke cleared, showing You right back up.

(Y/N): impressive. But, you want to know the sad part about this?

Cooler: oh? And just what would that be?

(Y/N): I'm not even close to using the fullest extent of my power.

Cooler: what?! Then you mean to tell me that you've been fucking with me as this entire battle has went on?!

(Y/N): get use to disappointment.

You said with a cocky smirk.

Cooler yelled in anger as he charged at You. You replied to this by fousing all your strength into another iron tail and hit him directly with it, sending him flying as a part of the carapace on his head was cracked. He crashed into a large rock. The force of the impact pushed the rock from it's place and it cracked into rubble. Meanwhile on Earth, Dende was healing Piccolo.

Piccolo's mind: wha...?

Piccolo: wha...?

Dende: welcome back, Nail.

Piccolo: where... am I?

Dende: may I hug you?

Piccolo: no!

Dende: oh.

He said as he looked down sadly. Piccolo got on his feet and looked around.

Piccolo: Gohan!

Gohan ran up to Piccolo and Dende.

Gohan: Mr. Piccolo! And Dende? But, I thought that....

Dende: Turns out we're all alive!

He soon sniggered.

Dende: except Krillin. How unfortunate.

Logan: oh yes, how tragic.

Guru: Naaaail. Naaaaaaail! Naaaaaaaiiill!

Piccolo's mind: I think he's looking for you.

Nail: (do not tell him I'm here.)

Guru: Nail, I can sense you...

Nail: (do not make eye contact!)

Gohan: you know, looking around, it seems like the only people who were brought back were those killed by Frieza and her men.

Piccolo: huh. That's convenient.

Namekian 1: Sir, we cannot find the Tagrok tribe.

Namekian 2: wait, you mean that one guy who really liked showing off his Dragon Ball?

Namekian 1: yeah, that dumbass.

Vegeta soon appeared in front of the Namekians.

Vegeta: oh, I wonder what sort of hot, sexy rogue could have been responsible for their deaths. Oh wait, it was me.

Guru: Ha! Nice.

Namekian 3: she massacred an entire village!

Guru: yeah, I'm going to be honest with you... I don't really like any of you. Except him.

He said refering to a Namekian child. Suddenly, the Namekian Dragon Balls, now turned to stone, all landed on Earth, with one of them crushing the one Namekian child Guru liked. However, his only response to it was laughter, which soon turned into gags.

Guru: oh, God, I'm actually dying this time...

Namekian 4: Lord Guru! You can't leave us!

Guru: I'm sorry, my children, but I must leave you now. My time is at an end. But before I leave, I must confess my sins.

Namekian 4: what do you mean?

Guru: do you remember the great drought that befell our planet?

Mouri: the one that nearly wiped out our race?

Guru: yeah.

Namekian 5: the one caused by those filthy albinos?

Guru: yeah...

Namekian 3: The ones we purged as per your instruction?

Guru: YEAH... See, I might have shifted the blame on that one.

Mouri: you what?

Guru: remember when I said they were the ones responsible for the disappearance of our precious water?

Namekian 4: we slaughtered thousands!

Guru: it was me.

Namekian 5: how?

Guru: I drank it.

Namekian 3: wha...?

Guru: how do you think I got so fat?

Mouri and the rest of the Namekians stared at Guru in stunned silence.

Guru: and now, I can die with a clear conscience.

He groaned, but didn't die.

Guru: uh...

He groaned again, but was still alive.

Guru: uh-oh.

Mouri: kill him!

Guru: NO! NAAAAAAAAAAAIL!

Logan, Gohan, Bulma, Piccolo, and Vegeta all watched in horror as Guru, who gave out his final words, was being slaughtered.

Guru: choke on them! Choke on them...!

Back on Namek, Goka and Frieza continue their fight inside a Namekian house. Goku punched Frieza out of the house, knocing her down to the ground.

Frieza's mind: rrrrgh! dirty monkey....!

She turned around but Goka was already gone.

Frieza's mind: huh? Where....?

She turned and looked directly at the abs on Goka's body.

Frieza's mind: oh, my God, you could grind meat on it....

She soon realized was Goka and stepped back.

Frieza: AAH!

There was a small bit of silence as Goka looked at Frieza with loathing.

Goka: ... I'm done.

Frieza: what?

Goka: I'm done fighting you... I'm bored... You're boring me.

Frieza: wha....? Oh, I get it. You're scared, aren't you? Afraid knowing that this planet only has one minute left before it explodes.

Goka: question.

Frieza: huh?

Goka: do you have a watch?

Frieza: No, why?

Goka: Do you know what a minute is?

Frieza: What? Of course I do!

Goka: I don't think you do.

Frieza: uh, but, uh.....

Goka: anyway, I'ma leave now.

She said as she powered down to her base form.

Goka: Try not to blow up any more planets. Else I'ma hafta kill ya.

She flew off.

Frieza: you can't just... We're not... You little...!

She growled and charges up a Death Saucer.

Frieza: hey monkey, you forgot your pizza!

Goka: oh yeah, thanks for reminding me......

She almost got cut by the Death Saucer.

Goka: that's not a pizza...! THAT'S NOT A PIZZA AT ALL!!!

She transformed back into her Super Saiyan form.

Frieza: now, to end this!

She tried to guide the Death Saucer at Goka but missed.

Frieza: I... uh, huh? Oh, come on now, I... Ugh, this blasted thing!

She started to have trouble controlling the Death Saucer.

Goka: what are you doing down there? You trying to swat a bee? 'Cause I don't like bees.

The Space Empress was still struggling with the Death Saucer.

Frieza: no, don't worry, I'm just... Oh, what is going on? What are these, inverted controls? Who even uses.....

She soon gained control of the Death Saucer.

Frieza: AH! GOT IT!

Goka avoided the Death Saucer, disappearing in an Afterimage.

Frieza: DAMN IT!

Goka: so, are you just stealing Krillin's attacks now?

She said as was getting chased by the Death Saucer.

Frieza: or should I watch out for the Tri-Beam? Or the Garlic Gun? Or the Makakapotamus?

Frieza: HYAH!

She hit Goka with the Death Saucer.

Frieza: gotcha, bitch!

However, Goka started vanishing.

Frieza: huh?

Goka then completely vanished.

Frieza: URRRGH!

Goka don't feel bad, Krillin never hits anyone with it, either. Anyway, you done?

Frieza: oh, far from it.

She charged up another Death Saucer.

Frieza: I just remembered, I promised you TWO pizzas!

Goka flew away, being chased by two Death Saucers, and then flew right through them and toward Frieza.

Frieza: really? You seriously think that that pathetic million-year-old trick is going to...

Goka fired an energy blast directly in front of Frieza's feet, covering the area in smoke.

Frieza's mind: clever bitch!

She avoided the Death Saucers by jumping into the sky. Meanwhile, you and Cooler were battling each other not far from Goka and Frieza. The carapaces and plateing on Cooler's body were crack from the many hits he's taken from You. You had a few makes and scars on You as well. You were landing many blows on him with the use of Dragon Claw. However, You both soon noticed the Death Saucers heading towards you both. You destroyed one with your hyper beam while Cooler simply shot an eye beam to blast the other.

Cooler: another one of my sister's weak ass moves.

As You and Cooler continued to battle, Frieza was in the air, looking for Goka.

Frieza: where'd that flying monkey go?

Goka: HYAH!

She kicked Frieza in the stomach.

Frieza: WAAAAAAAH!

Goka: Now say you're sorry!

She Repeatedly slapped Frieza in the face. The slapping of which last for a little while before she finally stopped.

Goka: are you sorry yet?!

Frieza's mind: I think I peed a little...

Goka: YAAAH!

She spiked Frieza to the ground, who formed a small hole upon landing.

Back with You and Cooler, the space tyrant's brother landed two hits in the chest before kneeling you a few feet away from him. You growled a bit and charged another Hyper Beam, putting more power into it. You fired it, only for Cooler to dodge it.

Frieza: I am DONE.

She jumped out of the hole.

Goka: Freezer, look out behind you!

She said as the Hyper Beam meant for Cooler was heading in the exact same spot she was in.

Frieza: I already told you, that trick won't work!

Goka: no, seriously, get down!

Frieza: Oh, ha-ha! Keep going, you STUPID INBRED MONK......

She soon heard the noise of the hyper beam as it drew closer. She only had a moment to look over her shoulder before she was hit directly by the blast and consumed in a large explosion. The smoke cleared as a critically damage Frieza fell from the sky and on the ground.

Frieza: M...m....mommy, I don't want to be on Namek anymore...

A/N: should've listened.