There are so many way people expect holiday themed writes to be a certain way.  Christmas is nostalgic and happy familytime genre, Valentines is usually gooey love-love Romance,  and Halloween always equals Horror.

But do those standards really apply in modern writing?

Why can't Halloween be romantic?

Or Christmas angsty and depressing?

Or Valentine's filled with horror?

I have read some really good twisted holiday tales... 

This short was inspired by a radio show we have locally and the hysterically amusing tales of nightmare dates and romantic connections failed, PLUS a what-if question; what-if the real reason behind a second date avoided is life changing news.

All I will say is laughter mixed with tears is my favorite emotion. 

Radio : A Valentine's Day Short

"Hello?"

"Miss Lindt, Malorie Lindt?"

"Uhhh, yes, can I help you?"

"This is Rick, Rich, and Renee from the Triple R morning show on the radio..."

"Oh gosh... Hi, I love you guys! So, what's up? Am I on the prank your friend or co-worker? Because I am so down with that..." She giggled mischievously.

"Well, no. For Valentine's Day, we are doing Reunited Missed Connections things. We understand you had date a few weeks ago," The radio announcer she knew was Rich sounded sincere but Malorie groaned.

"Oh dear."

"You don't sound happy. Was it a bad date?" Rick demanded.

"Well, actually at that time I had three dates, one was amazing, and the other two... well, not so much."

Renee giggled, "Not so much or get a restraining order, because your tone says restraining order bad."

"Let me ask you, if you were set up on three blind dates by your co-workers, would you go?" Malorie asked.

"Ohhh, give us the details, girlfriend," Renee implored.

"Date number one involved a midnight picnic in the downtown skate park surrounded by people smoking everything but cigarettes. I honestly feared for my life, and at the end of the date, I had to buy lice spray for my car and lice shampoo for myself and my favorite sweater dress. I'm a musician, I appreciate the free style life of other musicians, I really do..." Malorie hesitated.

"Go on..." Rich prodded as the other two radio host chortled in the background.

"Except when it crawls out of your dreads onto my clothes because you laid your lice-y head in my lap without asking. I did not appreciate it anything that happened that night or after.... Please, tell me you aren't calling for Sergio." Malorie begged. Rich and Rick roared with laughter and appropriate exclamations of "ewww, cooties."

"Nope, not Sergio," Renee giggled.

"Sergio? Is that a real name?" Rich asked but Rick answered, "He is a musician."

"Street concert ukulele-ist is not a career," Malorie declared so flatly, she caused a round of laughter in the studio and with most of those listening.

"I don't know... Ukulele is a misunderstood instrument," Rich insisted. "You sound like a bit of a music snob, Malorie."

"I am a concert cellist and operatically trained singer who performs music for television and movies, so yeah, I guess I am a snob." Malorie laughingly admitted.

Renee inquired, "So, it isn't bachelor number one, tell us about bachelor number two."

"Let's just say number two is a number two." Malorie announced flippantly.

"So, it was a crappy date?" Rich taunted.

Everyone laughed until Malorie explained then they were outraged. "He ordered my food like I was four, when I tried to change it because I have medical issues and allergies, he told the waiter that I will have what he ordered for me. I had to lie about going to the ladies' room. And find the waiter to change my order, I mean really, would you make someone who is allergic to peanuts eat a peanut butter sandwich? No... no, you would not. You would respect that your date knew what they could and couldn't eat."

"OMIGAWD! You're kidding?" Renee was shocked.

"I wish I was." Malorie laughed ruefully, "And that was after he made me drive to a second restaurant to meet him. A restaurant I didn't have the chance to call ahead and vet the menu. Then complained that I was late."

"What was his game?" Rich asked, his horror evident. The radio jockey's allergy to nuts and his many near death experiences had often been a topic. "How to kill your blind date?"

"I honestly don't think he has ever dated a woman with a mind of her own or over the age of 14 who wasn't via the internet. He dictated everything to me from the first time he called. He criticized also that I had not worn the color of his choice, I hate baby blue." The DJs were alternating between tones of shock and disgust as she went on. "And... and then he had a fit when the food that came and it wasn't what he ordered for me so he refused to pay for it."

"What did you do?" Renee asked, she sounded so offended.

"I told the waiter to put my food in a box, gave him my credit card to pay for my meal only, and told him he wasn't worth dying for, or even keeping his number in my phone. And that if he thought the way he treated me was how women liked to be treated, it was no wonder he was still single and living in his late mother's house." Malorie announced proudly. "People around us in the restaurant actually clapped when he left."

They cackled at her repertoire then Rich asked, "What do you mean by he had a fit?"

"He beat on the table like a three-year-old and tried to throw my plate at the waiter before I took it away from him... Seriously, if I see him again, I will get a restraining order. (beep)'s issues have issues and I don't want to date them." They beeped out the offensive date's name.

"Well. The good new is, it wasn't him either. Bachelor number three had a lovely dinner and then brought you back your pashmina when the restaurant called to tell him you left it behind. He said you played for him and sang for him, and the two of you talked the night away before you made him breakfast. You missed lunch then you stopped calling with the lame excuse you had a medical issue come up." Rick announced, "So do tell us, what happened? Why did you ghost him?"

"Umm, is he there? Is he listening?" Malorie sounded afraid and sad.

"I'm here," a deep tenor voice answered. "I... I thought we made a connection."

"I think you owe him an explanation. I mean, it sounds like the date went great." Renee insisted.

"It did," Malorie admitted to the listening audience, "It was the best date I had ever had in my life but... but there isn't time enough to give Daniel the kind of relationship he deserves. Dan, you're an amazing man, a fire fighter, a war hero, a gentleman in every way... You're everything a woman could want, and someday, someone is going to make you very happy."

"Someone and in not you, is what you are saying," Rich added sounding mad.

"Rich, I can't," Malorie said.

"Why not?" Rick demanded. "He sounds like a great guy, it sounds like you had a great time."

"I just can't." Malorie said again.

Dan's tenor filled the airwaves as he begged for a chance from the only woman who had ever made him feel love at first sight could be a real thing. "Malorie, I get that you had some unpleasant men in your past, but you deserve to have a man who adores you. Let me be that man, I haven't been able to get you out of my mind. You're all I think about, all I talk about, I think the guys at the fire station think I am turning into a stalker. Please, just give us a chance."

"Give him a chance," Renee encouraged sweetly.

"Yeah, we'll pay for your next date," Rich added.

It sounded like Malorie was crying as her voice tremulously whispered, "I can't."

"Well, at least tell the man why not," Rick demanded hotly.

Malorie sighed heavily into the phone then in a dead voice said, "Because the medical news I got, is that I'm terminal. I have a dendritic tumor attached to my brainstem. I am going to die, and Dan deserves someone who can give him decades of happiness, not months." Her slight sob was the only sound on the radio as ten thousand gasped in heartbreak. "I'm so sorry, Dan."

"But what about treatments, surgery... Surely, they can do something?" Dan questioned desperately, an ache felt by all those listening.

"I had the best doctor in the country tell me I only have a ten percent chance after the surgery and all the treatments. You watched your mother die that way. I really like you, I could easily love you, so I will not ask you to go through that again. You're healthy, young; find someone who can give you years of happiness." Malorie begged.

"What are you going to do?" Dan demanded quietly. It was as if they were the only two people in the world, but the whole world was listening on the radio or through the internet. Many were wiping away tears that had arrived unbidden on their morning commute.

"I am not going to go through all that for the ghost of 10% if everything else goes perfectly. Quality of life is more important than quantity. I'm going to travel, see places, visit friends I've only meet through the internet. I have twelve to fourteen months. Maybe I'll make it home, maybe I won't, but it won't matter because I am going to die doing the things I love and visiting the people I love." Malorie sounded so positive so firm in her conviction. "I'm lucky, I know my expiration date. Most people don't get the chance I have to fulfill their bucket list or say goodbye."

There was dead air for ten seconds, then Dan spoke, "Let me come with you."

"What? No, I couldn't," Malorie refused. "You..."

Interrupting, Dan sounded completely confident as he repeated, "Let me come with you, and we'll do whatever you want. People die every day; every moment of every day, someone leaves the ones they love unexpectedly. Malorie, I know what to expect. I won't take a single moment for granted and I promise, you won't regret anything, and neither will I. Let me come with you."

The silence stretched for almost a minute, everyone in the range of the signal and over the internet held their collective breaths. Some cried for the couple, some prayed, some doubted, some hoped.

"I'm baking cinnamon rolls for breakfast, if you're hungry."

"With raisins?"

"Yes, with golden raisins and apples."

"I'll be right there, wait for me," Dan answered.

"For the rest of my life," Malorie promised, then there was a click followed by another click.

Renee could be heard crying softly in the background as Rich spoke, "Dan? Malorie?... Sorry, folks, we lost the calls..."

"Wow, I mean woah..." Rick muttered.

Rich, always the professional, announced, "We are going to see if we can get them back on the line and offer to pay for their next dinner date. Ummm, and I think we are going to go to commercial. This is the Triple R Morning Radio show on your music choice in the sunshine state."

Eleven months later, the station got a postcard from Dan and Malorie, it was a birth announcement from New Zealand. Baby Radio weight 9lb and 3ounces, he was born Christmas Eve at 10:59 PM.