I told Halley about what Paul had done and she was as sad and outraged as we were. We made sure Paramjeet knew she could stay as long as she wanted; she didn't want to move back in with her family and didn't want to be alone.

All totally relatable. 

The next day was Saturday and we were eating pizza when the front door opened and Hazel walked in.

"Um," I said, holding a slice halfway to my mouth.

"Hey," she said casually, walking over to the box to take a piece out. I just gaped at her.

"Mama!" Jasper shrieked once he recovered from the shock, falling out of his chair in his haste to get to her. 

"Hi, baby," she said through a mouthful of pizza, picking him up and holding him. She kissed Hank on the head. "Hey, big guy." Leave it to her to get the nicknames mixed up.

"Ma?" Hank asked, more question than greeting. He looked at Shiloh, who was looking at me, worried because she knew Hazel wasn't supposed to be there without us having advance warning.

"It's okay," I said to her, but it wasn't. "Come out front with me for a minute," I said to my sister in a forced friendly tone.

"No thanks," she said airily, still holding Jasper. I wanted to yank him away. She was thin, too thin, and didn't have the healthy look of someone who had been off illegal substances for an extended period of time. 

My mother came in the open door. "Sorry we're late, there was a traffic accident," she explained, clutching an old mustard yellow plastic handbag. 

"We weren't actually expecting you," I said, trying not to be rude. I was already emotionally drained from the previous day of horror stories.

Mom looked surprised. "Hazel said she arranged it."

"Seriously?" I asked Hazel, not even hiding it now. "You can't do this."

"What, I texted you, it's not my fault if you didn't get it," she said, rolling her eyes and putting Jasper down. She perched on the counter to finish her pizza. "Shiloh? Don't you have a hug for Mama? Or is Auntie Mary turning you against me?" Her lame joke fell flat, mostly because she wasn't joking.

My niece got up and dutifully hugged her. She was used to the calm and normality of the house now, and was understandably wary of her unpredictable mother.

Which, of course, was also relatable. 

"Why don't you guys take Granny into the other room and show her the new hidden pictures game," I said to them, hoping Leif, Halley, and Paramjeet would take their time returning from the store. 

Shiloh nodded and went into the living room, calling "C'mon, Jasper and Granny!" 

My mom followed but Jasper shook his head. "I want to stay with Mama." He wrapped his arms around her dangling legs and a mulish expression stole over his face.

"You can have a cookie," I offered, not above bribery. 

He shook his head steadfastly, and I heard the mini van pull into the driveway. "Fuck," I said.

"Mary, don't talk like that in front of my children; that's bad parenting," my sister admonished me brightly. 

I flipped her off. "You're about to hear worse," I promised, because Leif was walking up with his hands full of bags.  

He came in loudly and stopped almost comically when he saw who was in the kitchen. His mouth worked soundlessly for a moment before words could come out. "You, why?" he asked. 

"Hi to you too," she said, as if they were friends.

He looked at me, holding his temper in check, but not easily. "Tug?"

"Tug?" she mimicked, rolling her eyes again, and I looked at her in amazement. Did she really want to get her ass kicked within five minutes of being in the house? Because if so, I was here for it. "It's my day out, and I wanted to see my kids. I texted you," she repeated.

"Let me see it then," I said, holding my hand out.

Her eyes widened. "No way, fuck you if you don't trust me," she said, sliding off the counter to open the fridge for a soda. Jasper let go of her leg but stood close enough to touch her. "C'mon, Jasper, let me breathe."

His eyes stayed on the floor but he scooted back an inch.

Leif snorted, finally putting down the bags. "You need to take off," he said. "So get back on your pony and ride, cowgirl." He raised his chin. "Go to your mom's or whatever. You're supposed to let us know before you come."

"Don't be mean to Mama," the little boy piped up defiantly. 

"Ma?" Hank asked again. "Dat's Ma," he said to me, pointing with jam all over his chubby little fingers.

"He's not being mean," I told my nephew. "You need to go in the other room so the grown ups can talk, please." I took the organic fake Oreos out of the freezer and gave him two. "Give one to your sister."

"I don't want Mama to go," he said stubbornly, not taking the cookies.

"I know," I acknowledged as I wiped Hank's hands and set him down. He ran off, not caring that his mother was there, which wasn't surprising as he barely knew her. "She won't go without saying good bye first." Because fuck if she wasn't going, she couldn't just barge in here whenever she felt like and disrupt our family, I'd be damned if she could. Jasper was already going to be thrown off for several days.

"Just go, Jasper, so Auntie Mary can chew me out. Mama loves you," she said flippantly, waving him off. 

He finally took the treats and reluctantly slunk out with his lower lip pouting, just missing Halley as she came in. "Oh, it's you, Hazel," she said. They'd had a pretty huge verbal fight right before Hazel had left for this most recent rehab. "Which is strange, considering you're not supposed to be here."

My sister smirked. "Wow, Halley, been packing on the pounds, huh? Is that the freshman fifteen times two or what? You really that sure Mary likes fat girls?" 

Before I knew it I had her by the upper arm, squeezing hard. All my restraint, gone just like that. "You shut your fucking mouth," I said through my teeth, because my jaw was clenched as I tried so hard to keep from slapping the shit out of her. Halley had gained a little weight, which only made her look that much more amazing and her beautiful curves that much cuddlier, as far as I was concerned. "Some women don't want to look like walking skeletons, unlike your worn out, drug-addict-looking ass."

Cool hands were prying my arm off her and Leif hovered in case it became physical. "Don't, she's not worth it, babe," my girlfriend said into my ear and tugged me until I let go of Hazel. "I don't care what she thinks." She kissed my cheek and let go. "You need to leave," she said to the shit disturber. 

"I hope you guys don't let my kids sleep in your bed with all that gay shit going on," Hazel tossed out, brushing the feel of my hands off herself and fixing her oily hair. 

This bitch.

Hank chose that moment to run back into the kitchen, where he spotted Halley. "Annie Hay!" he exclaimed, reaching for her with a huge smile. "Pick Hank up. Hank all 'ticky!" He held his hands up as proof, grinning foolishly at him. "You wash Hank hands?"

My sister's face darkened so fast it was like watching a black thunder cloud move in. "Wow, way to steal my baby," she said in a voice dripping with hatred. "That's fucking great."

Halley picked up Hank protectively and looked at Leif imploringly. "Get her out of here, would you?"

"Gladly," he said, stepping forward. "You gonna leave quietly or traumatize your kids some more?"

"If you fucking touch me I'll call the cops for assault," she spat at him. She took a step toward Halley, who took one back to compensate, and I moved so I was partially between them. I would kill her if she touched either of them. She pointed at Hank, who watched with wide eyes. "I am your mother. Not her. I'm your mama." Her lower lip trembled, and I noticed the dark purple circles under her eyes that she always got when she was using amphetamines of some kind.

Frustration and sorrow and unfairness built up so hard inside of me it was all I could do not to scream. "Mom," I called, giving Hazel a little shove toward the door as Halley turned away with the baby. I grabbed my sister again and propelled her into the entry way. "Say good bye to the kids and do it nicely or so help me I'll fuck you up when we get outside," I promised in a hiss. "You can't come here like this! And how are you getting dope in fucking rehab?"

"You can't tell me what to do," she muttered belligerently as I stopped her in the doorway of the living room. 

"The hell I can't," I whispered heatedly. I turned to our audience."You guys, Mama has to go, so give her a hug and we'll see her soon."

Jasper immediately dropped the remainder of his cookie and hurled himself at her, locking his arms around her legs. "Don't go, Mama, please don't go, please don't," he begged, crying. And just when I thought I couldn't take one more thing, I had to, I had to because I had to keep it together for them, they deserved that much. 

My mother was confused but got her purse and hugged Shiloh, who then came to stand by me and watch the debacle that was taking place. 

"Stop, Jasper, I'll see you soon. You're okay. Auntie Halley and Auntie Mary are practically your moms now, anyway," she said spitefully for our benefit, which only made him cry louder. 

"YOU'RE MY MAMA!" he wailed, dissolving into a pile of sadness on the floor, where I moved to pick him up even as he kicked and fought me. "I want Mama! I don't WANT YOU I want HER!"

"Jesus, Jasper, get a grip," she said, opening the door. "You guys are doing a great job with him, I can really see it," she said scathingly to us as I tried to keep Jasper from running to her. "Stellar parenting."

"Hazel, be still," our mother attempted, wisely hurrying her out the door. "That's enough."

"Oh please, don't start suddenly being my mother," she began, and Halley slammed the door behind them and locked it.

Leif deftly scooped the thrashing boy from me and stepped into the living room to spin with him, the only thing that would help calm him when he melted down. I got on my knees to hug Shiloh as Halley came to stand with us, stroking my hair, which began to calm me from the first touch. I was shaking. All the peace shattered, just like that. Just like always. "It's okay," she said, to me, to all of us. "It's okay."

"S'okay, Shi-yo. S'okay, Annie May," Hank said solemnly in his tiny voice, and some of my angst dissipated. 

Paramjeet came out of the bathroom and stood hesitantly.

"Sorry," I said, embarrassed by the drama that was my sister, even though Paramjeet knew how she was. She'd witnessed a few of Hazel's shitstorms. "So, how was the store?" I asked mock-brightly over the lessening cries of my nephew from the other room. He wouldn't want us until he had calmed down. I didn't want to move from Halley's soothing hand, and at the moment I hated Hazel with all of my heart for further damaging those kids and thinking it was funny.

A flash of hot resentment roared through me, along with the shameful thought that the universe had taken the wrong sister from me.

But that hurt a lot to think, mostly because it was true, and I pushed it back into its little silver box where it lived in my heart, and made myself rise again. 

"The store was full of discounted Halloween candy, I'm afraid," Paramjeet admitted, meaning Leif had bought several bags.

I slid my arm around Halley's waist as she put Hank down, needing the contact. "Good, we need some chocolate up in here. C'mon, let's get the groceries in."

Paramjeet went ahead with the kids and Halley turned to face me, draping her arms around my neck and touching her forehead to mine. "You can do hard things," she said, holding my eyes with her aquamarine ones, making me believe it because she believed it of me. "I love you. Fuck your sister, don't let her bring you down. Fuck what she says. We'll get things settled down again, don't worry, Mary."

I let the words sink in as she gently kissed me and smoothed one of my eyebrows back into place. My anger receded and the tears just below the surface started to evaporate. "I love you too," I said, the truest words I ever spoke.

Her mouth quirked and she kissed me once more. "I know. How could you not?"

That got a smile in return, which was her intention, and I let her tug me out the front door.