A/N: Cover art courtesy of lostnfovnd. Thank you so much! 💜
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I stared at the comments section of my last blog entry with the broadest grin plastered on my face. Despite Eric's near radio silence after my little outburst, even he'd left two positive comments.

Wow, look at all that amazing feedback! Even the naysayers kept quiet.

And yet, my heart clenched a bit with guilt. After our little spat, Eric had signed off AIM and hadn't returned. Not even with an away message like he often did when he was busy.

Don't be silly. He's probably just studying for exams.

But I couldn't deny the truth. This was the longest time we'd gone without chatting in the past three weeks.

Determined to take matters into my own hands, I wrote him an email to clear the air. Things were awkward. No doubt about it. But they didn't have to stay that way.

Since I caused the problem, it was up to me to fix it.

I re-read my email before I hit send. Sometimes my words didn't always come across the way I'd intended. I decided to go for a lighter tone, but I wasn't exactly the most diplomatic person on the planet. The last thing I needed was to mess things up by sending something stupid.

For the love of God, it's just an email. Calm your ass down.

My heart thudding in protest, I clicked send.

Like a languishing idiot, I kept logged in to AOL, hoping for that standard chime of "You've got mail." But no such luck. Even after two hours that dragged on like two thousand.

Ugh, for goodness' sake! Stop it. You're not thirteen anymore.

After logging off, I met Mom downstairs in the kitchen. She was sitting at the mahogany table with a cup of tea and a metal tin of ginger snaps.

"Would you like a bite to eat?" she asked, getting to her feet. "Or a cup of tea?"

"That's okay, Mom," I replied with a smile. "I've got it, thanks."

She returned to her seat with a puzzled expression. "Are you okay? You seem worried."

"Just nervous about my acceptance letters."

Not a lie. Just not the whole truth.

"You have a three-point-eight GPA. They have to accept you."

Three-point-eight-seven-eight. Every little bit counts.

"Yeah, but what about scholarships?" I sighed. "No scholarships, no college."

"You've worked so hard, hon. Everything has worked well for us so far." Mom paused a beat and took a sip of her tea. "I'm praying for you every night. God won't let us down."

Yeah, but will the human beings? That's the question.

"Thanks, Mom."

We drank our tea in silence, punctuated only by our quiet munching on ginger snaps.

No, I won't tell her about Eric. Not now. Not in a million years. She wouldn't understand.

"The croci will be up soon," she said to break the silence. "I'm glad the snow is finally melting."

"Yeah, maybe we'll be able to see past the snow drifts soon."

"Six feet high," she said, shaking her head with a sigh. "Should we go shopping for a bit? Take our minds off of things?"

Ugh, shopping. The worst pastime in the history of mankind. Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration, but not by much. It was the only way Mom could bond with me, though.

"Sure, I guess."

"We could get you a lovely dress for prom."

Crap! I'd forgotten all about that. This stupid prom is following me around like mosquitoes in a swampy bog.

"I don't know if I'm going, Mom."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you'd better make up your mind before all the good dresses are gone."

I sighed.

"Has anyone asked you?"

"No, Mom."

"Maybe you could patch things up with Bryan?"

I scoffed. "Yeah, not likely."

"Too bad," she said, finishing the last drop of her tea. "He always seemed like such a nice boy. You two got along like a house on fire for years. Won't you tell me what happened?"

I rubbed my face, muffling my voice. "He is a good guy. We just don't see eye to eye."

"Couples need to make compromises, you know. You can be quite stubborn."

"Mom!"

She held up her hands as she rinsed the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. "Just saying."

True, I needed a distraction. But that didn't entail listening to a guilt trip from my grandmother about Bryan while shopping for prom dresses I didn't need. Especially when they refused to fit my strange figure.

Whenever a dress fit my chest, it hung like a tent. If it flattered my waist, it gave me a uni-boob. I was short, and long dresses made me look a foot shorter despite high heels. Not to mention my broad shoulders and small hips.

Dresses were made for someone. But definitely not for me.

God, if you're going to give me a masculine inverted triangle figure, at least ditch the boobs. You know? Be consistent.

Shopping for prom dresses, indeed. Ha! I'd rather slide down a banister of nails and end up in a vat of rubbing alcohol.

"On second thought, I'll skip the shopping today and study a bit for exams."

"Whatever you think is best." After I'd set up my work on the glass dining room table, she came over with an anxious expression and squeezed my shoulder. "Don't work too hard, Jess."

"Scholarships, remember?" I said in a resigned tone. "I need to ace these finals, or I'll be in deep yogurt. Without the fruit."

She gave me an incredulous look as my grandfather chuckled in the kitchen.

***

Once I'd finished reviewing Hamlet and Macbeth, I decided to take a study break and play some more Everquest. After signing in to AOL, up popped the chime.

"You've got mail."

Don't let it be spam! Don't let it be spam!

Aw, YES! Eric!

I drew a deep breath when I opened up his email. After giving it a quick scan, I exhaled a sigh of relief. I began to read it properly, and my heart knocked against my ribs with even greater insistence, nudging me to accept his invitation.

"Oh...Em...Gee!" I said with a squee of excitement. "Can I get a hell yes?"

"Are you okay?" Mom asked, running to the door. "Did someone ask you to prom? Did you hear from Assumption College?"

"No, don't worry. It's nothing important."

"Can I come in?"

"I'd rather you didn't..."

I instantly shut the email window just as she opened the door.

Argh, do I speak Gaelic? Maybe that would help...

"Is something wrong? Did something happen?"

"No, Mom..."

"Why did you just shout?"

Jeez! Let a woman breathe...

"I finally understand something I didn't get about...Hamlet. And tragedy. And...stuff."

Wow, super convincing, Jess.

Mom pursed her lips with a skeptical look.

"Really, I'm fine. Don't worry. Everything is awesome. Life is great. The croci are coming."

"Are you sure? You seemed quite...excited."

"Mom, for heaven's sake," I replied with a groan. "I'm going to be eighteen in less than two weeks."

"All right, I get it. I just love you and want to make sure you're fine. That's all."

"I know, Mom. Thank you. Really."

"The Internet is a weird place."

"Yes, Mom..."

"And you spend way too much time on that Adventure Quest."

"Everquest." I sighed with frustration. "I love you, too, Mom. But, really, I'm going off to college next year. You have to let me do my own thing. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, party--"

"I know. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. But, please...Can you let me study on my own?"

"Sorry, dear."

Mom closed the door, and I resisted the urge to lock it. It wouldn't have helped anyway. All the doorknobs had this stupid little hole that allowed you to unlock them from the outside with a paper clip.

So pointless.

But I had to calm my butt down. If I had any chance of going to Holy Cross, I had to devise a clever plan that didn't involve telling her about Eric. And I needed to be on her good side.

I had to see that language lab.

___

A/N: GPA (Grade Point Average): The sum total of four cumulative years of high school grades on a scale from zero to four. Four would be a perfect score in all classes.

Jess' score of 3.878 would pretty much guarantee her acceptance into many good universities. But it wouldn't necessarily grant her the scholarships she needs to attend.