Hey! I've talked about this way too much, but here's another chapter detailing the confusion that is me. Hopefully someone gets helped by this, be it me or someone else.

Asexuality
So I haven't talked about this one, mostly because I haven't really thought about it. I guess I've always known that it's a part of me, but it was one of those "put the name to the feeling" sort of things, you know? I'll talk about that a bit later though.

But, to sum it up, I've never wanted to have sex with anyone and I never will, end of story. However, I do want kids, and I'm planning to adopt. I only want two, and everyone keeps telling me I'll change my mind and want to have more of my own kids, but I tell them to stop telling me what I think.

Oh well, they're all super conservative so whatever.

Pansexuality and Bisexuality
So I've thus far identified as bisexual, but I'm wondering if that's not the case. Bisexuality is the attraction to two genders, and it doesn't have to be just male and female. Pansexuality, on the other hand, is the potential to be attracted to anyone, which I feel as though I fit better under.

Ahh, I don't know! If you haven't gone through it yet, putting a name to the feeling is the worst part about not being straight. It's hard in one way, because you feel the pressure of putting a label on ourselves, which I don't really feel is necessary.

Nevertheless, the pressure is on.

So yes, I'm fairly certain I identify as pansexual, but what are your thoughts? I mean, I'm not going to change because of someone, but I'd like to know what you think about the whole labeling subject and things of the sort.

Homophobia
This is the last thing I want to talk about. Don't get me wrong, since I've come out on this platform no one has disrespected me in any way. There has been nothing negative sent my way and I appreciate it.

But on the other hand, I live in a very conservative Utah community. We're all kind of crazy here. I'm afraid that if I came out there wouldn't be a whole lot of acceptance.

Plus, I have family who is very anti-LGBTQ+. Not necessarily my direct family, but grandparents and aunts and uncles. I've got a pretty good relationship with my grandma but she thinks homosexuality is "disgusting" so coming out to her might ruin it.

I don't know. Being in the closet sucks, and I'm lucky to have a girlfriend and such wonderful friends on here to see me through it.