When I started to write these first lines... ? I don't know... my mind is blank, my emotions, this body doesn't seem to be mine anymore.

Perhaps, or rather, this is the first time I have been exposed to something called "Diary", my petite, mysterious but lovely friend gave me such a beautiful notebook.Holding that book in her hand, she kept babbling about something with an excited tone, immeasurable excitement. 

Although I didn't pay much attention to the parts, I still vaguely heard what that girl said:

"Hey, idiot Nguyệt Nguyệt, do you hear what I'm saying?"

Then quickly, that kid hit me on the head

"Strange thing" I mumbled

"I'm telling you, I don't need this book anymore, so I'll give it to you, idiot"

I stood there, just silent, and sighed tiredly. Honestly, I don't know what that girl gave me? To do what? Maybe I don't even need it?

- Indeed, at that time, my head was like an encyclopedia without stopping loading to answer a thousand questions why all of a sudden from my immature mind-That girl - forgot to mention , her name is Uyển Như  , is the only child willing to talk to me , is also the one who complains , chatters about nonsense like a young grandmother .

She pushed the book into my hand, then proudly patted her chest and continued:

"Take it quickly and I'll go home. I tell you and this will open your mind. This book also been called a diary, roughly you will write your happy, sad or something that you find memorable and of course you have to keep it a secret, even your mother can't know it?"

"Hey? But I'm smelling something stinky or rotten ? Aren't you...?"

And then , her tone is a bit disdain, she said :

" Eoo ..you're so smelly, maybe you will die?. If I talk to you like this forever, I'll probably die with you  from suffocation. It's been 5 days since you washed your hair? It's so terrible!!!"

I hummed to pass and then opened the book again, looking up, the little girl was nowhere to be found. Maybe it ran home earlier? Or is it just because I'm afraid that if I get close to me, I will dirty the identity of a lady like her? That's right, obviously...

Even though I was shivering all over, I still tried to walk slowly... slowly... slowly towards the house in the alley. There was a strong, disgusting stench from the sewers, the big garbage bags, or the whole day, the rotting corpses blocked the way.I silently walked over that stinking rat corpse - perhaps, I was used to that strange smell, or used to life here - a slum, the residence of the poorest and lowest people in society, where people were incompetent. Sick, smelly with a good place to leak corrugated iron inside the "house". Stuffy, resigned, dirty are what surrounds me when I think of that thing called a home.

"Disgusting"

In my heart, I wondered, the two halves of the soul seemed to be fighting fiercely and perilously, neither side willing to give in to each other. There was a moment when my heart swelled with a light wave but not strong enough, not durable enough to fade, eroded away that "hard rock" in me - I still decided to continue walking, walking to the end of that alley but suddenly stopped. Once again I was dazed here, standing like heaven. Then suddenly, a familiar scream rang out:

"Don't come back yet? Are you crazy or something? Do you know how hard it took me to find you,  slut?!"

At that time,... it was strange... for some reason I was still dumbfounded at the pathetic wooden plank that was "wonderfully" was gradually peeling and seemed to be about to fall. Again that voice sounded, but it seemed to bring more sparks, indignantly used:

"Damn it?!" mother Fucker ?! Is it wise to bring the body here or do you feel that being beaten yesterday is not enough?

Then I crept away little by little - out of fear? No, maybe there is a part, but thinking back I shudder because I hate "this house", I hate "this scene of my life. Suddenly, from the beginning, eloquent footsteps, pounding hard on the ground, passed through the door, rushed towards me. She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the house and then quickly, those slender feet kicked me to the ground, but stomped and cursed.

- That is my mom-

(hjhj, sorry guys, because I want to reveal the most honest story and dialogue, I don't want to let the obscene words, or swear words be changed with *)- 

I hope everyone understands 🙆‍♀️ and also thank you for supporting my first work -