NATSU's POV

MY hands are trembling while I'm holding her hands. The police escort us on the ambulance as I laid her on the bed. I bite my lower lips when I saw how pale she is. 

I don't know why...

I don't know why my life is like this. I don't know what's wrong in my life to have this kind of problem. I don't want to give up... but seeing her like this... 

It's hard... like I'm dying inside.

It's hard to see someone you love suffering.. suffering because of you. I don't want to see her like this.. How I wish I can remove all the pain she felt right now.

I wish I can... Tears are running down my eyes as I look on her. My hearts is breaking apart a sight of her like this. She's hopeless.

What's hurts the most...

...

Is seeing Lucy like this. Seeing her hurting because of me.

I can still see her breathing but I know that she's suffering more than I know. I can tell that she want to give up... but... I won't let her go....

please...

Please Lucy.. open your eyes.

Look at me...

She stirs looking on my direction, smiling on me. why does it feel like in any second... 

...

...

I'm gonna lose her?

I'm scared... I'm scared of what will gonna happen.. I'm scared for both of us. I'm scared that she might leave me alone.. If she leaves me...

I can't take it.

I don't want to live in a world where she doesn't exist. It's not that I can't... but what is the purpose of my life without her?

I never been scared for anyone this much. I never scared that Leona might kill me there... I'm not scared for my life.

Maybe because... a part of me knows that God will never leave me.. but right now... I'm asking Him why He didn't save my wife from that bullet.

"D-Don't cry.."

"Don't cry? Look at yourself.. It's look like you're gonna leave me any moment. You won't leave me okay.. huh? Don't me Lucy... You said you love me. You said you never leave me. so please... don't huh!"

She didn't say anything, but I saw her smile on me sadly. I held her hands tightly. I'll never let go of her hands...

I can't allow her to go.

"Whatever you do... I'll be watching you. I-If ever that you fall in l-love again.. I'm still h-h-here, I-I never---"

"No, Lucy.. I don't want anyone else. I want you to be my side. You and our baby... Please, Lucy."

I cry harder while I'm looking on her face. I saw tears running down on her cheeks. And the way she talks...

It's not like she'll be there to watch me with someone else. Like she'll not be here... as in with me. It's like she'll be going... and I don't like that. 

Because honestly... It's scaring me. 

" If there's o-one thing I want to wish right now... I-I wish that never get lonely.. I love seeing your smile. So don't be sad if I'm gone." she said.

"Your so selfish, Lucy. You so selfish.. The way you talk.. you're making me sad. You're not dying okay. You're not. You can't leave me... promise me... promise me, Lucy. Wifey."

She reach my faces caressing my cheeks, calming me. " I-I promise to love you, always."

I shook my head... It's not the same. I know that it's not the same.

The ambulance stops and they bring Lucy's inside the hospital. She's still looking at me. But I can see the pain all over her face, She's trying not to shout while the nurses and the doctor to their job.

"Lucy..."

"S-Sing for me... I wanted to hear your voice."

I shook my head. She open her mouth but close it eventually. Lucy smile on me.. "L-Lyin' here with you so close to me... it's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe... I'm caught up in your smile." she sing.

That song...

Just a kiss..

That song... I heard her sing that song after our wedding. During that time, I fell in love with her voice.. Or should I say I'm starting to fall in love with her since Lisanna ask me to stay with her best friend for the rest of our lives.

"I've never opened up to anyone so hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms. We don't need to rush this, let's just take it slow. Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight.. just a touch of the fire burning so bright and i don't want to mess this thing up... No, I don't want to push too far. " - me.

She nodded smiling on me. I continue the sing even if it's hard to breathe. She looks happy hearing me sing for her. 

Please... God... please don't take her away from me. I can't... not now... not this fast. If you take her away on me... then I can't live.. I can't... Please let me have her.

I know I never done anything worthy... But please let me make everything alright... to make the best of everything and spend the rest of my life with her.

The doctor shouted to his nurses but I can't heard them.. I walk on her side. She's blinking her beautiful brown eyes like she can't see me. Like she's trying to see me. I lean on her; buried my face on her neck. "Lucy.. I can't.. Please don't do this."

"I'm trying... for you... I'm sorry... Natsu.. I want to try... but..." I shook my head I look on her to see her face. Her tears are pooling down the side of her eyes. 

I know that she want to go..

I'm selfish... yes I'm selfish.

Because I don't want to let her go. I don't want her to go, even though I know that its better for her to go. I know that she's suffering... but I don't want it...

"Why? I keep on loving yet in the end then they'll die before me. I don't know if I can smile again... If you're gone... I don't know how to live without you."

"You can... I'll wait for you..." she said pulling me closer to her as our lips meet.

If only I can stop time and stay like this forever. But I can't stay like this.Tears are running down my eyes as I answer her kisses.

How cruel this life can be... that we keep on finding our happiness but in the end that happiness will be taken away from us. Why we can't live with full of happiness. Why we need to suffer for pain?

I just want to be happy... with Lucy.

I want to be with her. I want to love her. But loving her hurt so much, being with her is impossible right now. Without her. I don't think I can find my happiness again.

"Y-Y-You.."

"Lucy.."

"Y-You're the best thing that ever h-happened to me.. and I'll never regret c-catching the bullet for you. I know you can't understand me... But I-I want you to understand that for someone we love... nothing matters not even ourselves."

I shook my head. " F-Fight, Wifey... because you love me... that's why you need to stay with me."

"I-I-I wish I can... but if e-ever... please t-try... try to live without me--"

"NO!" I shouted leaning over her as I kiss her temple. "I can't Lucy... I can't do that.. Please don't do this to me. If you can argue on me right now, then you can fight to live. i can't live without you---" I didn't finish my words because...I felt her grip on my hands slowly...

I shook my head.... No.. This is not happening... 

The nurse pulled me again. They blocked my view to her. She pushed me out of the room. I don't want to leave her. I want to stay by her side. I don't...

She needs me... 

She needs me..

I can't leave her alone.. 

"NO LET ME GO."

Please let me go...I want to be there holding her hands.. Lucy looking at me and she smiled at me. She's mouthing something... and with all my might... I tried to read it. To understand what she's saying.

And all I can understand is...

...

...

I love you, Natsu. My hubby.