A/N: WARNING SPG!

I'm no longer wondering if the other people are trying not to cross in Natsu's way. Almost everyone we meet voluntarily avoids on our paths and no one asks what it has to do with us. I mean ... I know how much they wonder why a popular model like me and the guy who is famous in the business world are having a tug-in-war "Natsu... please." I beg.

I don't know which part of the builder we are, all I know is that Natsu entered in one the random room as he locks it with him. Fear started to eat my whole system as I look on him.

"You have one minute to explain everything to me!" he yelled.

"N-Natsu, I really don't know what's going on," I said truthfully.

My eyes got widen when all of a sudden he pulls me harshly and kiss me roughly in my lips. I tried to push him away but he was too strong. A tear escape from my lips, this is not the same we had shared five days ago. I could taste my own blood in my mouth when I tried to push him "Na-Natsu... N-No!"

"This is your punishment whore! You are my wife but you let someone fucked you!"

My mouth parted - my eyes were wide open as tears keep on falling down in my eyes. I am scared... too scared that Natsu will break everything in my heart. I feel him giving me a roughly kiss in my neck...

God, no. This can't be happening.

I close my eyes when I felt Natsu carried me and laid me down on the sofa. I shivered when I feel cold wind brushes on my skin when he finally strips off my clothes. I tried to push him, but Natsu removes his necktie and ties in my both arms - preventing me to move. No! No! No... Please, someone, save me!

"Please Natsu... Don't do this" I cried. He took hold of me with a jaw "Please"

He did not answer and he just did what he did ... he continued to crush my heart and my whole being. "No! Please let me go!" I shouted.

"Shut up!"

"Help me!"

God, please save me. Please... please...

Mommy... daddy... Zeref...

Please help me... save me...

I bit my lower lips when he took my rigid peak in his mouth. My eyes got widen when I feel his warmth... his hardness. "No!"

He didn't look at me and continue sucking my breast, his hands and fingers playing with my nub. I arched my back when he roughly penetrated me using his finger, ramming it inside me and pulling it again. He repeated the motion until my legs shivered with pleasure and pain.

I wanted to shout... I wanted to ask for someone's help but I know no one's here will save me. I didn't look on his face when I felt him position his manhood at my entrance. I bit my lower lips and close my eyes at the same time he pushes his hardness inside me. I felt my face contorted with pain as I felt something ripped inside me - his arms around my neck as he keeps on moving in and out of me.

I stop myself from struggling... all I felt was... everything in me is broken... I don't know how I will survive this. I don't know if I can be able to live through this.

But something tells me that I'm not done yet.

Natsu stopped moving inside me and I heard him utter the word "Y-You..."

I gave in... Letting him do what he wants - letting my body succumb to the pleasure and pain that he was giving to me. My head was spinning with pleasure when he finally brought me to the edge. A scream echoed around us when I fell to the chasm of delight. I felt him followed me, emptying himself on the deepest part of my soul.

I slowly open my eyes when he pulled out of me. I feel him remove his tie in my arms as he covers my body with my coat. I bring myself to sit, hugging my thighs as I buried my face in there. I waited for him to leave... so I could cry my pain...

I wonder if there's anything left for me to be able to save now.

"Lucy?" my eyes got widen when I finally hear my name coming out of his mouth. It's been five years since the last time I heard him calling me by my name.

I should be happy... I know I should. But surprisingly, I felt the opposite. I could feel my heart slowly breaking. "Stay away from me," I beg.

"Please..." he begs.

I look directly towards his eyes - as my tears keep on falling in my eyes "You want an explanation? Zeref was my stepbrother. I never cheated on you. I-I never... I never knew... that..." I can't find my own words. It's too much... this pain is too much for me. "You just accused me of being a whore without valid proof." I sob.

He kneels in front of me and was about to touch me so I move backward "No! Please... Please don't touch me. Don't come to me... Please" I shouted.

"L-Lucy... I didn't know--"

"Of course you didn't know! I'm tired... I'm tired... I don't want to see you. Please go away!" I don't want to love him... this is enough... it's too much...

Why do I need to be treated like I'm not worth it? Did I deserve this?

I SMILE bitterly as I look directly on the children playing happily in the playground. After that incident, I was ashamed to face Erza so I decided to go to the children's playground. My heart clenched in pain as my eyes clouded with my own tears. I can still feel his touch, his kisses... I feel so dirty.

I feel so beaten up. I feel so dispensable.

I raise my hand and covered my mouth when a sob finally broke free form it. A single tear feels from my eyes that cue others to follow... bursting through me like water that can't be contained inside a dam anymore. The rush of wet cascade down my cheeks as if its never going to stop.

I tried to swallow the sob but it just won't stop. I slowly look up when I felt someone stop "Lucy..."

"What are you doing here?" I said almost like a whisper.

"Can I do something for you to make you feel better?" he asks me and thanked God he didn't ask me of what happened to me.

I shook my head as I gave him a forced smile. I know it never reaches my eyes but I need to make him feel that I am okay even if it's not, "I feel better" I lied.

Zeref - nii kneel in front of me as he takes my hand and gently squeezes it, "That's not your eyes telling me."

I tried to stop myself from crying again but it feels like I can't control my own emotions. Crying should help me alleviate the pain but its not. It feels like my tears won't stop. "C-Can you fixed my heart? C-Can you heal it? C-Can you say to my fucking heart to forget that stupid man? T-That this heart of mine will never beat for him. Tell me Zeref, can you make my heart to forget... Natsu Dragneel?"

Zeref pull me into a hug - I don't know what to feel right now... I feel like I was dying all over again... I just want to kill myself so that I can't feel this pain. I just want to forget him.

"Let's go"

With my eyes streak with tears and my body heaving with a sob, I looked at him and sob "W-Where?"

"Where do you wanna go?"

I slowly brush my tears away on my cheeks "I want to forget... everything."

His lips curved up into a smile before saying "Let's go."

Maybe this time... I should start loving myself.

Maybe this time... I should start forgetting about him. 

____________________ End of book 1