Miles Dempsey

"Another win, how we feeling baby!" Tate shouts in my ear as we walk back into the locker room after a 3-1 win versus the Panthers. We've been on a sexy ten-game winning streak and I don't plan on killing it yet. I don't like getting overly excited about shit but I also don't want to be grandpa and not celebrate with the team.

I smile, pushing Tate into the locker room before jumping on his back. He catches me swiftly, putting me down a couple of seconds later. The rest of the team celebrates around us with chants and bangs on lockers. I can't help the smile that curves onto my lips as I start removing my pads and skates.

"You're coming out tonight, kid. No excuses!" Cap tells me. Oh, I know it's serious when Cap is coming out. He's a lot older than the rest of us so he goes home to his family after games. I hold my hands up in defense after removing my gloves. "I'll be there, promise!" I chuckle. He shoots me a wink before making his way back to his locker.

We take our time getting ready since we played at home. I sit on the bench with only boxer briefs and socks on while the fellas get ready. "I can't believe Cap agreed to a club tonight!" JT cheers. At eighteen, he's only been to the club once before and that was with me. Worst mistake of my life taking him to one of those.

"Only because his lady will be joining us. Thank her for finding a babysitter on such short notice," Kelz, our left winger, acknowledges. "Thank you, Mrs. Anderson," JT jokes as he slips on his jeans. I shake my head. If he even thinks about getting as drunk as he did last time, I'm going to kick his little ass. "And hell froze over because Dempsey is showing his face tonight!" Tate shouts from across the locker room.

I lift my arm to flick him off and he puts a hand over his heart playfully. I laugh at that. "Fucker," I mumble. "Don't be mean to him or he'll ditch us for Allie," Kelz adds. I roll my eyes. I haven't even thought about her all week. As I'm about to say something back, my phone vibrates next to my thigh. I narrow my eyes to read the name.

It's Tiffany. My manager. Why is she calling after a game? I stand up and walk out somewhere quieter before pressing the phone to my ear. "Miles! God, I didn't know if you'd actually pick up. Congratulations on the win tonight," Tiff's high-pitched voice fills my ears. "Thank you, thank you. Everything alright?" I ask. Usually, she doesn't call after games or even before.

"Yes. But, uhm, I need to know if you still want me to get ahold of the PI you requested me to get for you. She's a busy lady and doesn't take clients as much as I'd hope she would. She's getting impatient is what I'm trying to say," she says quickly. I clench my jaw slightly and close my eyes shut, leaning my head against the wall.

I found a private investigator a couple of weeks ago. To find my birth parents. I hadn't even thought about it this past week and a half because of how hectic my schedule has been. That's a good thing if I'm being honest. The fact that I have no idea who my birth parents are tends to keep me up at night. Since I haven't been thinking about it, I've been sleeping like a baby. I didn't need this reminder.

Holding off on not getting the PI wasn't for no reason though. I've been trying to figure out if I should just go ahead and find out everything for myself or finally ask my parents to give me information on who my birth parents are. I can't even begin to think about having that conversation with them. I know it's hard for every parent of adopted kids to get asked that question. The fear of their kid finding and enjoying their birth family comes to light with that conversation.

Thing is, I love my mom and dad. Regardless of who I meet - if I ever do - they'll never be my mom and dad. I wouldn't mind building a relationship with my birth mother and father. I think we all deserve a chance at that if it's what we all want. That irrational fear that they won't want anything to do with me is also there. I have a huge fear of rejection. I also have a fear of being used.

For my fame. My money. My status.

I could have answers by tomorrow on who these people are which makes me anxious. I've been thinking about this situation my whole life and it's always been something that has eaten me up. I feel some strange connection to them. It's like I have to know who these people are and if I don't, I'll never be able to fully live. It sounds fucking crazy but that's what I feel. If I told mom and dad that, they'd be terrified.

It's just so fucking difficult.

"Miles, hun? You still there?" Tiffany's voice pulls me out of my thoughts. I push myself off the wall and run a hand through my tangled hair. "Yeah. I'm here." I squeeze my eyes shut and curse under my breath. Tiff sighs on the other line. "Talk to your parents, Miles. I know how terrible you'd feel if you did all of this behind their backs. It's going to be a tough conversation but it has to be had. I know how much you want this."

Her words punch me in the gut.

I know how much you want this.

I do want this.

This makes me feel even more shit. I was about to do all of this behind the people who I love the most in this world's back. I know it's going to be a difficult conversation but they'll understand. They love me and have given me everything. I have everything because of them. I'll continue to make that known to them until the day I die.

Everything I do is for them because they saved my life.

I don't hold a grudge against my birth parents for not wanting me. The only bit of information I know is that they were too young to take care of me. That's understandable. Plus, look where it brought me. I have the best parents in the fucking world. Everything happens for a reason. And I can only thank my birth parents that I'm still alive. They kept me long enough to give me to people who wanted to give me everything.

"You're right, Tiff. Call off the PI. Thanks," I say, my voice a bit hoarse. "On it. Have a good night, Miles." I return the sentiment before she hangs up and take a deep breath. I won't let this ruin my night. I'm still going out tonight. I'm still getting drunk as fuck. I'm still on a team that's won ten games in a row. I breathe out one last breath before I head back into the commotion that is our locker room.

***

Even though my mind has been busy focusing on the season, that doesn't mean it hasn't had room to think about the other thing I've been stressing about.

Talking to my parents about my birth parents.

A little less than week ago, Tiffany convinced me to talk to my parents about it instead of getting a private investigator to find out the information for me. It sounded like a good idea on the phone that night, but now? It sounds like fucking hell. But I also know that if I don't get answers soon, I'll drive myself crazy.

My questions have already been unanswered for twenty-four years. I don't think I can wait another day which is why I've decided to talk to them. Today. I don't have a game for another two days so I'll be able to assimilate whatever they tell me.

If they tell me.

I pull up to Renaissance Café to get my daily coffee. I texted my mom last night, letting her know I'd be joining her and dad for breakfast today. I was supposed to get there in ten minutes but looking at the line inside, I'll be late.

I sigh, adjusting the cap on my head before pulling my hoodie over it. The sunglasses covering my eyes help my disguise a little bit better. It's not that I don't like being recognized in public, I just don't have the patience and attitude to greet fans today. I also need coffee before I can even attempt to talk to another human.

The smell of pastries and coffee beans hit my nose when I walk into the high end coffee shop. I didn't know about this place until about a year ago when Tate's girlfriend, Kaitlyn, introduced us to it. She's really high maintenance and supposedly needs her ten-dollar coffee. I can't speak too much on her since I've been coming here ever since then. The coffee here is damn good.

I pull out my phone, pretending to be distracted as I stand behind at least ten other people. I check my social media for the first time in two weeks, liking some of my teammate's posts.

"Kayce, I can't miss my nine am because you need a ride to practice! I wouldn't even get there on time."

Goddamn. Not that voice.

Not her.

"Dad has two other cars, use them. Goodbye."

I know I joked about running into her more than once but I didn't think it would keep on happening.

I tried being nice to the girl even after she was a complete asshole to me at the rink. She was nice enough to welcome me into her home so I wasn't trying to be a dick. No matter how nice I am to her, she doesn't budge. It's like she's holding our first interaction against me. There's nothing I can do to try and sway her so after our last exchange, I decided to give up.

But I also thought I'd never run into the girl again.

Well- that's a lie. I figured I would run into her every now and then because of her friend knowing JT. But I didn't expect to see her on my daily coffee runs. Or anywhere else where I wasn't in the presence of my roommate. God, help me.

The line moves surprisingly fast and I don't make myself known to her or anyone. "How can I help you?" the college-aged girl behind the counter asks. "Uhm, can I just have a medium espresso?" I say, trying to keep my voice low. She nods, "Can I have a name for your order?" Fuck. "Miles," I almost whisper as I hand her my card. She writes my name on the cup and then swipes my card.

I take my card back and turn to wait for my coffee. I make eye contact with Nola behind my sunglasses which are too dark to show my eyes. "Ugh, not you." She groans before turning her attention to the woman who's going to take her order. How the hell did she notice me so quickly? I shouldn't have glanced her way.

I tap my foot anxiously against the ground as I wait for my coffee. I'm not even going to focus on that small exchange right now. I have to think about how I'm going to approach the situation with my parents in less than twenty minutes. I release a stressed breath through my nose. How is it possible that I don't even know where I'm going to begin this conversation?

"Why do famous people try to disguise who they are? It's so obvious." Her voice pulls me out of my thoughts entirely. I didn't even realize she was standing next to me now. "I'm not famous," is all I say back. She scoffs into a small chuckle. "You're in the NHL. People wear jerseys with your last name," Nola retorts. I shake my head slightly. I hate being called famous. I'm not Justin fucking Bieber.

I sigh, not replying. The last thing I need is to talk to her. As much as I hate to admit it; she gets to me. She got to me that one morning at Blazing Ice. She got to me at her place. She's getting to me now and she's barely spoken. Usually, I brush off annoying people. Right now I can't seem to shake this girl off .

Get it together, Miles.

"Why are you here?" She speaks again. I blink slowly, looking straight ahead and not at her. "Same reason you're here. I'm getting coffee," I say cooly. "Of course you'd spend ten dollars on a coffee," she says. I roll my eyes. She's here too, meaning she's also spending a stupid amount of money on coffee. I wonder what she does for a living. I don't know much about the girl.

Then again, I was at her parent's house last week and it was huge. I suppose she has some money to spend if her parents make a good amount of money. She might too. "What do you do for a living?" I ask. All I know is that she's a figure skater who knows my aunt Claire. She also has a famous uncle. Or uncles and aunts I should say. I saw more of her family before I left her house.

"What?" she asks, her blonde brows furrowing. "What I asked," I reply. "Why do you care?" she says quickly. Good question. "You're shitting on me for buying ten-dollar coffee yet you're here too, hypocrite." She shoves her hands into the black jacket that hugs her upper body perfectly. "And what does that have to do with what I do?" she questions.

This conversation is getting nowhere, I realize. I don't reply to her question.

"Hello? Are you deaf?" She adds after I don't reply. I almost laugh because that's the same thing I told her the first time we met. I'm sure that's why she said it just now. "Forget I asked." I don't want this conversation to keep on going. Where the fuck is my coffee? "You're such an asshole," she mumbles under her breath. As short as she is, I heard her loud and clear.

"How? You get so defensive over everything so I said forget it," I say. "I don't get defensive. I just don't know why you care," she bites back. I chuckle, frustration building. "I don't care, so forget I asked." Of course I'd run into her before I'm about to have the most important conversation of my life. Now my brain is scrambled and I can't think straight.

"Great. Don't care about me at all," she says, smiling sweetly. "I don't," I retort quickly. I huff, stepping slightly away from her. She chuckles and shakes her head. I think she might like pissing me off. "For a twenty-four-year-old, you sure act like you're ten," she speaks again. I sigh heavily. Just don't answer, Miles. I look toward where they're making coffee's. How long does it take to make an espresso?

"You know, not talking back to someone when they're clearly speaking to you is rude." I turn my head slightly, looking down at her. Her annoyingly huge blue eyes stare up at me.

Why the fuck does someone so aggravating have to be so gorgeous? Scratch that. I'm not even going to think about her in that way. There's no way I could actually ever put up with her. If I could be one thousand miles away from her right now, I would.

"What's your problem with me? You've had it out for me since I met you," I say harshly in almost a whisper. The coffee shop is somewhat loud around us but I don't need anyone overhearing this conversation. I don't like being a dick to anyone but she's getting to me on the wrong day.

I turn forward and that's when I make eye contact with the barista. "Miles?" Finally. I walk up to the counter and take my coffee from her. I don't even glance back at the blonde before me as I start walking toward the exit. I rather not hear her answer. I don't need it.

As I let the door fall closed behind me, I hear heavy footsteps approaching.

Fuck, someone recognized me.

"I'm sorry, who do you think you're talking to?"

Not again.

I take a deep breath before turning around. "Please, leave me the hell alone," I say through clenched teeth. Nola furrows her brows and makes a disgusted face. "You don't get to talk to me like that and then just walk away," she retorts. I let out a fake laugh. "Oh, but you can talk to me like I'm shit on your shoe and I just have to stand there and take it?"

Her jaw clenches tight. Yeah, I'm not doing this. "Have a good rest of your day, Nola." I don't even wait for a reply before I turn around and start walking toward my car. "Dude! Stop being an ass!" Nola yells behind me. I really don't want to be a dick right now but I am more than mad now. I unlock my car and open up the door.

Her footsteps get quicker. I rush to close my door but she puts her hand on it before I can. "What the hell is your problem?" I whisper shout. "What's my problem? You're the asshole who's being disrespectful for no reason!" she shouts. I stiffen as she raises her voice. I don't need anyone hearing this. Especially if they notice who I am.

"No reason? Don't fuck with me right now. I can act however the hell I want with you especially after you've been an asshole to me since the moment we met." I let it all out. I'm not going to be called an asshole repeatedly for treating the girl the same way she treats me. She's absolutely childish.

Her mouth gapes open slowly. "You fucked with me first. That's why I was the way I was to you. I'm sorry but if I don't have a good first impression of you, I'm probably never going to like you." Her cheeks turn a light pink color. I don't know if it's from anger or the temperature right now.

I shrug my shoulders. "Fine with me. Thousands of people don't like me for no good reason, adding another one doesn't bother me. Have a good day."

I move her hand off my car door and shut it quickly before turning it on. Nola stands in the same spot. She frowns so deeply that her forehead creases slightly. As I'm reversing from the parking lot, she sticks out her middle finger at me.

Ah, fuck off.

I couldn't give one shit that the girl doesn't like me. I'm tired of people like that ruining my days.

I finish my coffee long before I make it back to my place. I called my parents, telling them that I wasn't going to be able to make it to breakfast. There was no way I was going to ask them who my birth parents were right after that coffee shop interaction with Nola. My brain was so scrambled. I couldn't even think straight.

There weren't that many people in this world that could actually make me furious. But this girl who came out of nowhere? She could. I didn't know why. Something about her pulled me towards her. At first, I didn't know if it was a good or bad thing. I know now that it's a bad thing. She isn't meant to be anywhere near me and vice versa. I'm fucking glad Los Angeles is as big as it is.

I hope I never see her again.

When I pull into the driveway of my house, I see a familiar car parked. God is not on my side today. I sigh heavily as I pull into my spot and turn the engine off. The sound of a car door shuts and I switch my own off. After I mentally prepare myself for yet another interaction that I rather be in the 7th ring of hell instead of having, I step out of my car.

"Hello." Allie's high-pitched voice says behind me. I don't even have a chance to turn before I feel her skinny arms wrap around my waist. Well, I wasn't expecting that. I furrow my brows and turn my head to look at her. She looks up slightly and smiles. "I missed you," she says.

God, no. Why do you hate me today?

I pull out of her touch. "Why didn't you have the kid invite you in?" I ask as I start walking toward the front door. Her heels clank against the ground as she walks close behind. "That little shit didn't answer the phone. I called him like three times." I hold back a laugh. The kid's a heavy sleeper. It's one of our off days so he's probably sleeping in.

I unlock the door and walk in. "JT!" I yell out. If he's awake, he'll hear me. I doubt he is though. He'd answer Allie if she called. Allie closes the door behind her and throws her purse on the couch before plopping down. A couple of seconds later, I hear a door upstairs open and JT rushes down the stairs. "Yes?" He's only wearing some grey sweats, his hair disheveled.

JT looks at me before turning his head toward the couch where Allie sits with a frown. His eyes widen. "Oh, hey Allie! I just woke up, I promise I wasn't ignoring you," he rambles. I shake my head and walk over toward him, wrapping my arm around his shoulder. "She's not gonna hurt you, kid. I won't let her," I say honestly. He definitely was ignoring her. If he was asleep, he wouldn't have heard me just now.

"Sit. I wanna hear all the tea," Allie suddenly says, looking down at her phone. JT furrows his brows and looks at me. I shrug. I don't know what she's talking about. "Who are you talking to, Queen? You have to be clear if you're not gonna look at us while you speak," I say. Allie rolls her eyes as she turns on the TV. "JT," she says, "don't think I didn't see those little pictures roaming around online just like everyone else."

My roommate groans, throwing his head back. I chuckle. Pictures of him and his school partner, Ember, studying at a local coffee shop went viral a couple of days ago. The internet went crazy. I'm sure a bunch of 13-18 year olds were crying themselves to sleep that night. I've had the kid working with the team's PR person so that he won't say anything about it. It's better that way. People are always going to believe what they want to anyway.

He walks over to the couch and sits down next to Allie. "She's not my girlfriend. In fact, she hates me! For no reason! We were just partners in this assignment for class. Miles back me up?" JT turns to me. Allie raises her brow at me. "Please tell me you are not involved in college freshman drama," she says. I roll my eyes. "I'm not involved in anything. But, yes, the girl is just his school partner or whatever."

JT nods his head. "Like I said, the girl despises me!" Allie turns to face him. "Why? A girl doesn't just hate a guy for no reason," she questions. He shrugs his shoulders. "Beats me. She's just really rude and tells me to shut up a lot." He frowns. A smirk pulls onto Allie's lips. "I like this girl. I wanna meet her."

"No!" JT and I say at the same time and then look at each other.

Allie furrows her brows, looking back and forth between us. "Wait, why did you say no too?" she asks, looking at me. This little project JT was doing with Ember already ended meaning they'll have no more communication. That also means that I have a better chance of never running into Nola Scott again. It's why I said no. Ember does not need to be in my best friend's life.

He's content without her.

It's about me not wanting to see that blonde more than anything, though.

"Cause. I side with JT. It's clear he doesn't have a relationship with her and wants to keep it that way. Meaning no more interactions with the girl." JT nods quickly. Maybe if he knew the full story about me and Nola then he'd know I didn't just spew bullshit. Maybe I'll tell him now that I know we won't see her again. "Exactly. I'm done with the project and her. You're not meeting anyone." He points a finger at her.

"Boring. You need a girl to put you in your place," Allie says, then turns to look at me. She looks me up and down, "You too." I smile. "You already do that," I lie. She fake smiles at me before flipping me off.

"Oh, also, I think I'm gonna start looking into some real estate or should I say an apartment for next season. I got Nola's dad's contact info. He said he could help me out if I needed." My eyes widen when I hear her name come out of my roommate's mouth. "Who's Nola?" Allie questions. I'm about to answer, but JT beats me to it. "Ember's friend or roommate, whatever. Miles and I went to her place. She has sick real estate, and her dad is rich as fuck," JT says.

I clench my jaw slightly. I hate that he's an over-sharer. Allie turns to me. "You and Miles? What were you doing at this girl's house?" Fucking hell. I hate when she acts like she's my girlfriend. "He's my chauffeur. Where I go, he follows," JT answers again. I flip him off. "And this, Nola? Does she hate you too?" Allie asks him. JT shakes his head. "I don't think so. I don't really know her. She was hanging with Miles more. Ember was holding me hostage."

He just loves talking today, eh?

Allie almost snaps her neck looking my way again. I try not to death glare JT because that'll look suspicious. "I wasn't with her. She just brought me inside because your ass wasn't going to take ten minutes like you said," I say, looking at JT instead of the curious brunette. "I didn't know you were into girls your roommate's age," Allie says. "What? No, he's not into her. We don't know Nola like at all," JT replies.

"Nola's your age too?" I ask. "Ember mentioned she was a freshman too, so yeah. I think so," he says. Fuck, I had no clue. I guess that time I ran into her at the bar, she was using a fake ID. "Why do you care?" Allie stares at me with a frown on her face. "I was just asking a question. I don't know either of those girls," I lie. I know Nola. A little bit.

"Better," she says tightly.

She can get jealous all she wants. I'm only lying about the fact that I don't know her at all. But after today, I'm praying that I never run into that girl again. I was supposed to find out the most important information of my life today and I wasn't able to because of her. She triggered something in me that didn't let me think straight. I was angry. The whole way home.

Who knows when I'll get the balls to approach my parents about the situation again. Now I have to live longer not knowing who the two people who gave me my life are. My anxiety flares up at the thought. I breathe out a long breath through my nose before standing up from the couch.

"I'm gonna go take a nap. I'll see y'all later." Fuck being awake. If I'm awake, I'm thinking. If I'm thinking, it's not anything good. I need sleep. When I wake up, it'll still be in my head but I'll worry about that later.