Nola Scott

It did happen.
Miles and I almost kissed.
But we didn't.

It's been a whole week since the...incident. Thank God for figure skating because it's been the only thing that's distracted me enough to not think so much about the situation. If I had any spare free time, I'd be in over my head about it.

When I invited JT over to my parent's house for my birthday, I hadn't remembered that Miles was his personal chauffeur. It's not like I didn't want Miles there. We hadn't talked in about a week so I'm assuming he wanted to just leave it at that. Never speak to me again.

I know he hadn't meant to kiss me. It doesn't take a genius to see he instantly regretted it. Hell, he told me himself he didn't mean to right after he did it. Embarrassment was the first thing that I felt. We were so close to touching lips and then in a moment, it was done. He pulled away and I felt rejected.

Then it was hurt. I felt hurt.

Because to him it was a mistake.
To me, it wasn't.

As much as I haven't been thinking about it, my feelings since after the almost-kiss haven't changed. I wanted to kiss Miles. But then he leaned in first. My heart was racing a million miles a minute at that moment but then he retracted. It had been the first time in a long time that I felt comfortable enough to kiss a boy.

While others might beg to differ, a first kiss means a lot to me. There's a difference between a meaningless first kiss with a boy who you're not going to remember tomorrow and a boy who you know is meant to be in your life. I've kissed many meaningless boys. I've never kissed a boy I know is meant to be.... No.

I'm freshly nineteen. A lot of these feelings are new to me. Which is why I'm terrified. I don't like these feelings. They're also not reciprocated which stings even more.

As much as it hurt, I said what I said to Miles earlier for a reason. It would hurt me more to hear him say he didn't mean to kiss me last weekend. That's why I told him we could just move on and forget it ever happened. If I said it, it would hurt less. If he said it, I'd feel rejected for the second time. In the end, it worked out the way I wanted it to.

He didn't question anything, we agreed and moved on. Watching him leave sucks. Why? Why do I like him? Okay, backtrack. I don't like him. Not like that. Yes, he's a cool guy. He's also handsome and nice and smart and unlike any other man, I've actually talked to. But that doesn't mean I like him, nope.

I'm not naive. He's the first man who's ever had this effect on me. There will be plenty more of those in my life. I can't let this one bother me too much. Not with the way my life is going right now. There are bigger things that I'm focusing on. My future, more specifically. Figure skating.

Men come and go. Miles and I are just friends. Great friends. That's the way it should be and the way it's staying.

I close the front door as the boys pull out of the driveway in Miles's BMW. "Who was that?" A voice behind me makes me flinch. When I turn around, my mom comes up to me, a smile on her face. "Oh, just a friend. They couldn't stay long so they just stopped by," I tell her. She loops her arm through mine as we walk toward the backyard. "Are you having a good time?" she questions.

My mom and dad planned a small thing for me. The only people here are my family and Ember. Since I celebrate my birthday in Oak Hill, it's hard to invite people since most of my friends reside in LA. I prefer spending it this way though. "I am," I assure her. A lot of my family is here today despite them having busy schedules. "Good," she smiles wider, "I thought you disappeared on us."

I shake my head at her and we step outside again. I plop down in my previous spot between Frankie and Zya. "Where'd you run off to?" Zya eyes me while she shoves cake into her mouth. "A friend from school came over to give me something," I lie. Neither Zya nor Frankie knows that I'm friends with two pro hockey players. I mentioned Miles to Zya on Christmas and then Frankie overheard as well but they never asked about him again.

Speaking of college friends, my eyes roam around my parent's large backyard searching for Ember. I spot her in the pool on the splash pad, hanging out with my youngest cousin Easton. He just turned five last month so he can't swim. Ember's mouth gapes open when he does some kind of trick in the water. I smile, glad she's having a good time.

"So Frankie, how's the whole situation with your dad and Alistair?" I ask, changing the subject from me. On Christmas Day, Uncle Rhys got into a little kerfuffle - as Miles and JT would say - with Alistair, Fran's boyfriend. We're all aware they're not besties but Uncle Rhys can't seem to like the guy. Frankie groans. "The situation is the same. Don't get boyfriends, girls. Especially if your dads anything like mine."

She looks genuinely frustrated and Zya's eyes are a bit widened as she focuses on eating her cake. I think she has a boyfriend too but nothing she's told her parents about. Kayce knows more about it than I do.

"Girl chat! I wanna join," my uncle Valdez comes and sits on the grass in front of us. "What're we talking about? Oo, I want some of that." He wipes some frosting off Zya's plate with his finger and licks it. She giggles. "How annoying my dad is," Frankie rumbles, her arms crossed. Maybe I shouldn't have brought that up. Uncle Valdez rolls his eyes. "What did he do now?" he questions.

Despite being a father and mid-age, my uncle Valdez never fails to not be in girl chats. If he sees us talking, he'll come to join. He's mostly like this with us older girls, including Aviana who's currently in the pool with her little sister. I don't have a favorite uncle but if I had to pick...

"Same thing from Christmas," Frankie responds, her voice low. "I'd give you amazing advice but I can't tell you why your dads acting the way he is. I don't know how it feels to hate your daughter's boyfriend. But... just talk to him about it. Ask him specifically what he hates about the guy. He can't just hate him. If Rhys dislikes someone it's for a reason, so ask," he says.

Frankie gazes over at her dad the whole time. He sits on one of the outdoor couches with Aunt Monet and my mom and dad. "He's just judgmental. If he took the time to know Alistair, he'd know he's a great guy. But dad doesn't even want to try." Tears brim her eyes and he reaches out to grab her hand. "Aw, Frank. Don't cry. Shit, girls did I do this?" Uncle Valdez asks us, panic in his voice.

Zya shakes her head. "I'm fine," Frankie says, wiping her eyes quickly. "I'll talk to him," Uncle Valdez offers but my oldest cousin is shaking her head. "It'll be eased into the conversation, I won't make it questionable I swear. He wants you to be happy, we all do, Fran," my uncle adds. "Obviously not," she sniffles. "It's always going to get better, Frankie. Trust me," Zya adds.

I nod my head. After a while, we're able to get Frankie to stop being upset and the three of us finally get into the pool. The sun goes down after a while but we stay outside by the pool until it starts getting late. My family starts leaving slowly then everyone's gone.

Me and mom plop down on the couch together as my dad gets busy with work and my siblings return to their respective rooms. "Happy birthday, Granola," my mom says, wrapping her arms around me and kissing my temple. "Thanks, mommy," I say, leaning my head on her shoulder and sighing. While I had an amazing day today, my mind reverts to earlier.

The conversation with Miles. It still infiltrates my brain.

"What's wrong?" Mom asks, laying her head on me. I shake my head a bit. "Nothing. Just thinking," I reply. "About what?" she questions. Nothing I want to talk about. My mom knows about Miles and I's interactions. The ones where we annoyed the hell out of each other. But they don't know about the fact that we're on good terms now. "What's the worst birthday you've ever had?" I change the subject.

"Uhm my eighteenth birthday easily. I got dumped," mom scoffs. I lift my head causing her to lift hers. "By Ryle, right?" I question. She nods her head. I've heard all about Ryle Grayson. The boy my mom dated before my dad. Her first love.

He isn't a usual topic of conversation but when I was a sophomore in high school, I was dating a boy named Connor. For some stupid reason, I thought I was falling in love with him. I made mom tell me about her first love assuming it was dad. It was not. Her story was a lesson learned. Never let a guy cheat on you and get away with it. Break up with him instantly.

"Funny story. You know that skating clinic I did for Claire and John?" I ask. She nods, "Yeah." When I heard her talk about getting dumped, it reminded me of the boy I met. "There was a cute little kid there. His name was Ryle," I tell her. Mom's dark blues widen a bit. "How'd he look?" she asks. "Blonde hair, brown eyes," I account all that I remember about him.

She sticks out her bottom lip, nodding. "Maybe he's Ryle incarnated. My Ryle also had blonde hair. Only his eyes were so blue they looked grey, kind of like your brothers," mom explains to me. "He's an ass for breaking up with you on your birthday," I say. Mom laughs and shakes her head. "I have experienced worse pain than getting dumped on my birthday. Trust me."

True. She did go through childbirth, and then some. I bet losing Ryle was difficult. She doesn't talk about it much. Never has. But she did lose him when they had just broken up so I know she had a lot of love for him still. I think I'm the only one of our siblings who actually knows a lot of the story about him. I'm the only one who's bothered to ask.

"Oh, also, remember Jess and Micheal's wedding is next Saturday. If you haven't found a dress yet. You're still coming right?" mom adds. Crap. I forgot about that. Jess is one of moms friends from college. She's getting married for the third time and while I think it's excessive, mom swears she just has bad luck with men. Plus, Jess is like an aunt to us ever since she moved to Los Angeles to be closer to her family.

I wouldn't miss it and luckily it's on a Saturday which means I don't have practice. "I'll find something," I tell mom. She smiles. Loud footsteps come down the stairs and I think it's my dad until I see Kayce. His dirty blonde hair sticks up in different directions and he looks like he hasn't slept in days. It's his usual look. "Hi, Kayc," mom greets.

"Mom, I'm going out," he says, adjusting his hair in a mirror. She frowns. "This late? Where to?" When he's done fixing it, he turns to look in our direction. "The swim team is having a get-together at Davenport's place. One of the guys is picking me up. I'll only be out for like an hour." To seal the deal, he comes over, bends down, and kisses moms cheek. She smiles a little. "Okay, sure. Be careful. Tell me if you need me to pick you up. No drunk drivers!"

Kayce puts on a fake smile. "I'll be fine. See you tomorrow." He walks out of the house a minute later. "At least it's not Brooks," mom says. I raise my brows. "He's going out again? After you granted him permission to live with Kayc?" I question. Mom groans, throwing her head back on the couch. "Don't remind me of that," she mutters. I turn my body to face hers on the couch. "Mom if you didn't want to let him go why didn't you just say no? He wouldn't have been mad at you forever," I assure her.

She turns her head to look at me. "Honestly your dad and I don't think Kayce is going to stay in Oak Hill for longer than a year. That's the only reason we let Brooks move in with him," she admits. My brows furrow, confused. "Why not?" I ask. I know Kayce's always changing his mind but I genuinely think he'd stay here for a while. "He's meant for more. More than Oak Hill," she tells me.

I don't disagree with her on that. Kacey definitely won't stay here forever. But to be honest, I don't think he's going to leave after a year. "You think he'll leave? To the league?" I ask. She shrugs her shoulders. "Or another college. I just want him to be happy as long as he's here and I know Brooks living with him excited him, so I couldn't say no," mom says.

While Kayce and I are close because of our age, he and Brooks share a special bond. They need each other. I'm happy they're going to spend more time together. I also would love to see them fighting every day. It's bound to happen if they're roommates.

"Hey, mom. Can I ask you a question?" While my heads trying to focus on anything other than my own problems, it can't. "Sure," she says, a yawn escaping her lips. It's a bit late already so I should probably let her sleep soon. "How long were you and dad friends before you started... dating or even catching feelings for him?" The question is stupid and I feel insane for asking it.

"I believe four months before we started dating. Feelings? Maybe three months, I couldn't tell you. It took me a while to realize though," she replies. Well, it certainly hasn't been that long. Am I crazy? It's not hard to catch feelings for a guy. Especially a guy like Miles. Ugh. No. I don't have feelings for the guy.

"Why? Is there someone you possibly-" I cut her off quickly. "No! It was just a question. That's all." I'm such a bad liar. Her lips quirk up so slightly and she looks at me for a long moment. My mom knows me better than anyone, of course, she'd be able to tell that I'm lying. "Does he have a name?" she asks curiously.

I cringe. "He doesn't exist, mom. It was just a question!" I say defensively. She holds her hands up in defense. "Alright, alright. I believe you. He doesn't exist," my mom says, a smile still playing on her lips. I don't say anything more so I won't feed into her antics.

We talk for a little bit longer before I convince her to go to sleep. I told her I'd stay up until Kayce got home safely. Deciding I need a distraction, I grab my new headphones and put them on. I select my song, the one I skate to, and lay my head back on the headboard. My eyes are closed as the song plays and I go through my routine in my head.

I'm interrupted by my phone buzzing on my thigh.

Miles Dempsey: Have a good birthday?

He's the last person I expected to text me tonight.

Nola: yes. it was a good one. how's your day been?

Miles Dempsey: Besides that aggravating loss earlier? Fine. I think.

Nola: sorry about that. thanks for coming over even after that. it was good to see you.

Oh, God. Does that sound...flirtatious?

Nola: and JT.

I add that second text so it won't sound too bad.

Miles Dempsey: August 2nd.

My brows furrow at his text.

Miles Dempsey: My birthday, just so you know.

He clarifies it for me.

Nola: i'll remember that.

I keep my message kind of dry, hoping he won't reply. But my heart beats quickly in my chest when my phone vibrates again.

Miles Dempsey: You sure we're cool after earlier? I really don't want things to be weird.

My fingers hover over my keyboard for what seems like an eternity, trying to come up with a good reply.

Nola: positive. i'll see you soon?

Miles Dempsey: Always. Night, Scott.

A long breath leaves my lips. Always.
Sounds about right.