Harlow

"Malakai!"

He turned around and I rushed to catch up with him. "Hi" I breathed nervously.

He raised an eyebrow "Hello?"

I glanced at the floor briefly before looked around, in fear of meeting his gaze. "The child in the hall," I told him, clasping my hands together. "It's his isn't it?"

He tilted his head "Well no, I'll be adopting him soon".

I took a deep breath "Have you...?" I trailed off.

"No, I don't think I've quite figured out how to tell a six-year-old that the only thing in his fathers' casket is his head" He rubbed his stubble "But it could be worse, his mothers' is empty"

"What can I do?"

He shrugged "An apology would be a nice start"

 I swallowed "I can't apologise for something I'm not sorry for".

"Then I guess we're done here"

I winced. Something inside me pressed me to find a way to cheer him up but I had no idea. The Former female beta was physically no more and we'd tossed the Betas body in the nearest river first chance we'd gotten.

"How do I make this better? I asked softly.

"Truthfully? You can't do shit" He told me regretfully. "But If you really care, the funerals in three days" And with that, he walked off. I stared at his figure dumbfounded.

"You want me to go to the funeral of the man I killed?" I called out to him "That doesn't seem like a great way for me to get closure".

"Good thing this isn't about you then".

"I think I want to give this werewolf thing a try".

"Oh?" Ivory mused, brushing through my hair "Why the sudden change of heart".

"I'm starting to realise that I truly know nothing about these beasts" I admitted. It had been my first day and I'd made a fool of myself more times to count on my fingers. I'd spent the whole day with werewolves and the more I assessed them the more I realised we're not that much different.

Canines and claws aside.

They had a similar routine to what we had at the human camp. And from what I've seen the guards here are actually particularly nice to the maids. I'd seen one flirting with a blushing blonde girl in the corridors whilst she dusted his post.

But nothing more had shocked me more than to see a guard helping up a messenger boy after he tripped over a rock, spilling milk all over the guard's shoes. The werewolf however took it well and laughed it off. Sending the boy back to his duties, with a slap on the back.

"Really? I never would've guessed" Ivory snorted sarcastically. She'd been the one to firsthand witness my almost comedic behaviour today. She tried to explain as much of werewolf culture to me as she could but soon stopped and let me find out for myself, humiliating myself in the process.

"But it doesn't make sense, I thought I'd be the expert when it came to these things as I've grown up surrounded by werewolves and dedicated my life to recognizing their patterns for safety" I muttered. Ivory paused her braiding and looked at me with a weird look in her eyes.

"What pack did you say you came from?" She asked which was a weird question as I'd never mentioned what pack I'd been born in.

"Twilight Howlers" I answered blankly, not feeling particularly any emotion for the title.

"The pack that was-

"Wiped out by the human rebellion," It wasn't the biggest of packs but was still considered a rather noble pack.

"Hard feelings I presume?"

"All my hard feelings burned with it" I lied partially. It was true, I hadn't felt any underlying resentment for the pack since I'd turned it to ashes. There was nothing left to hate there anyways.

"You can't burn painful memories, Harlow," She said sympathetically.

"Where'd you come from?" I questioned, indicating that I no longer wanted to talk about my past.

"I was actually lucky to be born right here, in the castle," I think she saw the confusion on my face because she was quick to explain "My mother was a maid here and got knocked up by one of the guards, she died in labour so I was raised by the other maids in the castle"

"I'm sorry" I apologized.

"Don't be, I had a great life here, made friends with Leo when we were kids and the mate bond formed when he hit eighteen," She said in a loving daze "And I guess the rest is history".

"I've been meaning to ask you about that" I shuffled around "What is the" I cleared my throat "Matebond supposed to feel like?"

She smiled understandingly "I guess it feels different for anyone, I could always really feel that Leo was it for me so I've been pretty much in love with him since I could count" She chuckled. "What does it feel like to you?"

"It feels like if the butterflies in my stomach had knives" I grumbled, my answer made her laugh.

"I guess it can feel like that sometimes, but I don't think what you're feeling is the mate bond," She said, "I think you're feeling guilty".

"About what?" I scoffed.

"The former Beta couples passing" I groaned and turned away from her but she grabbed my shoulders "And your conscience is going to continue to eat at you until you address it." She told me firmly.

"And how do I address it?"

"By submitting to the mate bond" She explained "And don't you dare tell me you can't feel it, if you couldn't you wouldn't give a shit about Malakai's mourning" She pointed at me.

"I feel a bit guilty because of Andro, that's all" I could practically taste the bullshit in my sentence. 

"And why do you give a shit about Alejandro? He's a werewolf too, and he's going to grow up and find out you killed his parents and he's going to rip you apart".

I could somehow vividly see the vision. "He's an orphan in my eyes, Ivory, nothing more, nothing less" I looked down "And I've always had a soft spot for kids".

"But have you always had a soft spot for werewolves?" She raised an eyebrow "Face it Harlow if you truly hated them as much as your rebellion claims you do, you'd have tried to kill Malakai by now".

I shivered at the thought of me being responsible for killing Malakai. That'd mean some pretty godly features going to waste. I put my head in my hands and sighed "I'll try harder".

"That's what I like to hear" She cheered "I can't wait, how are you going to start?"

My eyebrows came together in determination "I'm going to-I'm going to sit next to him at dinner tonight!" I declared. Ivory came up behind me and pulled me into a tight hug, swaying from side to side.

"You're not going to regret this, I promise" She hummed.

"I better not" I chuckled nervously, leaning slightly into her comforting embrace. "Can you do me a favour?" I asked sheepishly.

"Anything that's not a weapon" She laughed.

"I need to make a phone call".