Geo: If you're some kind of robot, hologramy thing, do you have a dick? Can you fuck someone?

Sabastian:

Sabastian: I don't get paid enough to tutor you

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DJ Grooves: Alright party people, and Conductor

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Hat Kid: You realize what this means, Bow?

Hat Kid: We're gonna have to break in

Tour assistant at Dead Bird Studio: And here's your free passes! And you're balloons, blue and pink!

Hat Kid: We're in

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Sharaug: I don't want to hurt their feelings!

Marcos: Hurt their feel- Do you just walk around all day, thinking about other people's feelings?

Sharaug: Yeah, don't you?

Marcos: No! How do you get anything done?

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"I was in the friend zone, and before I knew what was happening, she pulled me into the romance zone! It was like quick sand!"

-Geo, on his relationship with Marie

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Dipper: When's the last time anything went according to plan?

Elena: I don't think there was a last time.

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Slaughter: Are you going to help, or are you too pretty?

Marcos: I'm too sexy, thank you.

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Geo: Okay, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best party idea we've had.

Trent: Marcos's been crying in the bathroom for over an hour. We can't get him out.

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Marcos: Dammit, the door's locked.

Geo: I got this. Marcos, give me your credit card.

Marcos: Alright, here.

Geo: Thanks. *puts the credit card in her pocket and then kicks the door down*

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More Gravity Falls

Dipper: Oh, God, did you put glitter in our laundry detergent?

Mabel: Oh, yeah, I'm experimenting with some new entrepreneurial ideas. That one's called Sparkle Suds. Dress loud.

Dipper: Will you stop putting glitter in everything? This morning you put glitter in the butter.

Elena: Disco Dairy. Spread the party.

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Marie: Whatever you're thinking right now, stop it.

Geo: What are you talking about?

Marie: You always make that face when you're about to say something super stupid to piss me off.

Marie: So cut it ou--

Geo: I love you.

Marie: ...

Geo: Also, cereal qualifies as a soup.

Marie: I FUCKING KNEW IT--

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Marcos: I'm not crying, I'm just allergic to jerks!

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Even more Gravity Falls

Mabel: So who's the clingy one?

Elena, sitting on Dipper's lap with her arms around him and her face buried in Dipper's neck: Dipper, obviously.

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EVEN MORE Gravity Falls

Candy: Elena and Mabel told me to spy on you.

Dipper: Isn't the most important part of being a spy not telling you're target you're a spy?

Candy: I don't remember learning that in spying school.

Dipper: I'm fairly certain that's not a thing.

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Sharaug: Is there anything you can't find?

Sabastian: Only a way to shut up Geo.

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Sabastian: This is no time for your shenanigans!

Geo: It was a single shenanigan. Technically more of a hijink.

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Sabastian, offended: What kind of monster do you think I am?!

Geo: Shapeshifter

Madison: Swamp demon.

Coffee: My old mom

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Slaughter: Why are you calling me this late?

Marcos: I need your help. I've done something bad, very bad.

Slaughter: Put the corpse on ice, I'm on my way.

Marcos: What?! No, it's not- why would I-

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Sharaug belongs to Sharaug

Marie belongs to Choco_Corpation

Slaughter belongs to JSNsupernova