CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX || DEATH KNOWS NO MERCY 

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"Your people do this?" Sam questioned as the group ventured through the forest making their way to Noah's estate. Sam's eyes darted between the metal wires woven through the trees, the wire giving Sam a sense of hope they weren't just following loose ends. The wires meant protection, which was an indicator of life.

"wanted to. they must have." Noah nodded as he walked between Rick and michonne The hope his family were alive knawed at him, in his mind they had to be alive. There wasn't a scenario he could fathom that involved them not being there. that involved him being alone, being alone in the world that was a constant fight to the death. 

Rick pulled the machete from his waist, Alex following her uncle's actions as she pulled her gun from the holster. The group began climbing through the wire, a sense of unknown clouding over them. Alex's eyes darted between the members of the group trying to ensure everyone's safety as they ventured further, Sam's huffs of frustration from catching himself on a wire filling Alex's ears.

"You alright?" Alex asked as she caught Sam touching his head from the corner of her eye. turning to look at Sam she noticed the scratch across his forehead caused by the wire, Shaking her head she waited for his response, which only turned out to be a nod as he avoided the woman's eye contact. his reaction to her concern making her raise a brow as they continued walking toward  Noah's community. 

Alex's eyes diverted toward Glenn as if to see if he noticed the way Sam had acted, yet her husband only shrugged. Glenn urged her to continue walking and she did. Right by his side. Making a mental note to check on Sam when they got back. As they got closer Alex felt the familiar military nerves fighting their way back. her pace quickened attempting to catch up to Noah and her uncle. 

"Any spotters? snipers?" she questioned the younger boy, she knew how it worked all too well. protection was key. protection was important and a lot of the time that meant shoot on sight. there was no way she was risking that, not with her family by her side. 

"We build a perch on the truck. Sometimes it's out front." Edging closer to the end of the forest Alex nodded toward Sam and Glenn upon hearing Noah's words. A familiar dread filling her stomach as she watched Glenn peer out from behind some trees in an attempt to get a better look at the estate. 

"Not today" Glenn stated as he turned back to face the group, and in some way, they could fathom whether or not that was a good sign. Alex took a deep breath nodding as she locked eyes with her uncle who shared the same look, The uncle-niece duo automatically began walking toward the gated community a doubt engraved within both of their minds.

Silence filled the air within the group as they walked toward the front gates, not without caution Weapons drawn they slowly approached. The two grimes' sharing the occasional look of doubt as they got closer without being confronted. the intense feeling of doom that clouded over alex hadn't left since Beth... and with each step they took toward the community that feeling only grew. 

Alex's eyes remained focused on the target. the main gates. Her heart raced as she felt the same doubts as her uncle. When the group got close enough Noah forcefully made an attempt to open the gates, the clang of metal against metal interrupting the silence within the group as an almost silent bang was heard, the noise had to have been quite a distance away. Tyrese stepped forward; "You hear that?"

"Just wait" Glenn ordered, his gun returning to its holster, Alex watched as her husband carefully scaled the side of the fence, her breath catching in her throat as she watched him peer over. her eyes darted to Noah noticing the panicked expression displayed on his face before her eyes returned to Glenn. 

As Glenn turned his head, she didn't need any words. She didn't need any confirmation. she could tell. just by the saddened look in his eyes. there was no life. at least not behind those walls. the subtle shake of Glenn's head only added to the gloom that had surrounded them since Beth's death. Alex felt her heart ache as Noah, the young boy desperately fought to climb the fence. the grunts escaping his lips powered purely by grief.

*****

"You go check the back? I'll check these cars?" Alex sighed looking up at Sam as everyone agreed to do a quick sweep for supplies through the community that was once Noah's home. Sam nodded the grief filling his body to the point of no return. his expression remained one of nothing... the pain the group had endured becoming overwhelming. 

Sam walked toward the back of the house checking for extra supplies as alex began searching the cars. Starting with an old Ford she opened the door of the unlocked car. Climbing inside she checked the glove box subconsciously rubbing her chest to ease the heaviness of her heart. every loss seeming to weigh her down more than the last. watching Noah break down, break down sobbing reminded her of Lori, Carl. 

a wave of emotion washed through her body, yet this time it wasn't just grief... It was anger. The world seemed to take the purest souls, The people who truly made the world a better place. Lori, Hershel, Beth, the list didn't seem like it ended... Carl, Josh. What those two kids had been through made her blood boil in a way she never imagined. 

"Fuck" She cursed slamming the glove box closed after coming up empty, her thoughts getting the better of her she took a deep breath trying to keep her composure. her hope, her motivation. it was gone. and a part of her wasn't she sure wanted to keep fighting. 

Sighing, she got out of the car, her thoughts running wild as she checked the one parked behind it. she was alone all over again, it felt the same. but it was different. She'd realised it wasn't being alone that had made her feel how she had when she'd found her uncle at the start. it was the world. 

Checking the next car she hoped it would at least have fuel, yet she couldn't have been more wrong. nothing. again. Was there even anything left worth fighting for? shaking her head she attempted to rid herself of the thoughts that plagued her mind. reminding herself of why she was fighting. Carl. Rick. Glenn. They were her reason. they were all she needed. but could they bring her back if she lost herself again? 

shaking her head she gave up. walking back to the front of the house a voice made her stop..."I was thinking about that guy in the storage container. back at Terminus. how I made us stop. after the prison, on my trip, I got Alex back and found Josh. Things went okay... losing Washington."

Glenn, Glenn's voice made her stop. Peering from the side of the house she saw Glenn. Rick. the hope and happiness that once could've been heard in Glenn's voice had diminished. Her face contorted with pain, a deep pain from within her heart that fed on her inability to keep the people she cared about happy, safe. coming to a halt she listened:

"Losing... Losing Beth...  right after just finding out she was alive" Glenn sighed crouching in front of a baseball bat as he explained, reaching down for the bat he examined it as he continued: "I hadn't caught up with you yet. if it were now... I wouldn't make us stop. we'd run right by. and I would've shot that woman dead. right or wrong." 

Alex's heart dropped listening to her husband's words. Humanity... that was his thing. Turning on her heel she felt her aching heart being chipped away at. oh how desperately she wished she could've kept him safe enough he didn't have to feel that way. she remembered it. she remembered the first life she ever took in the military. and it broke her. She never wanted that for Glenn. 

Making a beeline for the back of the house, her heart raced. a different sense of dread and anxiety swirled through her stomach. She couldn't name the indescribable emotion. Carl, Glenn. the list of people she'd failed only grew longer with every day that passed. 

"Sam! I'm checking the next house!" She called to the brunette digging through a toolbox out the back, Her shaky voice diverting his attention from the tools in his hand to her. A slight sense of concern washed over him as he noticed the way her voice wavered, and the hand firmly planted against her chest. 

"You good?" He questioned yet with Alex's quick pace she was already closer to the second house than she was to Sam. Sighing he shook his head assuming the recent events had just had an effect on her as they had on everyone. 

****

Alex began searching the second house for supplies, her hand not shifting from its place on her chest once. The pain within her heart only grew with each horrid thought that filled her mind. She could feel the dread that stemmed from her military career slowly flooding back. taking deep breaths she searched the kitchen, terrifying impulsive thoughts filling her mind. 

trying to stay level-headed, she filled a bag with goods she found in the kitchen, her heart rate increasing with each second that passed. each and every grief-consumed memory flashed in her mind. yet it wasn't just the memory that reappeared. the emotions did too. the harrowing grief that could only be compared to a bullet wound. the guilt that fuels the urge to tear at your own skin. and the pain that encapsulates you in a state of vulnerability. 

the type of emotions that make you wonder if you can carry on.  All of them flooded her body, and yet she kept her breathing steady. somehow in the back of her mind, Eli was talking to her. as he always did. Talking her through it. she couldn't let her  PTSD win. not anymore. she couldn't let it control her, even when she didn't know what triggered it. 

Opening the kitchen door she continued her search throughout the house. unable to hear herself think. the emotions flooding through her body filling her with adrenaline she didn't need.  tearing through drawers of the house she kept her breathing steady in an attempt to stay in control. 

a growl instantly from her thoughts, turning her head to the direction of the sound her heart stopped. Three walkers charging toward her from the opposite door. her breath hitched as she dropped the bag. Pulling the gun from the holster on her thigh she aimed it toward the walkers. The fast movement making her vision blur. 

taking a breath she pulled the trigger, the adrenaline rushing through her veins making her movements faster than usual. the bullet tore through the walker's skull sending the body of the thing to the floor with a violent thud. her heart raced as she lunged forward. almost making a fatal mistake. 

Rushing toward the second walker she pistol-whipped the thing with her gun as hard as she could. using brute strength she wedged the but of her gun into the thing's skull over. and over. and over again. the harrowing emotions still rushing through her veins as the third walker gripped her arm. It's prying jaws closing in. 

She turned. pulling its arm from hers she pushed the walker against the wall. her gun wedged beneath its chin as she pulled the trigger. its thick, dark blood splattered across her face as it fell limp in front of her. her judgement clouded by the rush of emotions spiralling throughout her body. her eyes widened as she realised she didn't hesitate. not for a second. 

Maybe Glenn was right. maybe everyone had to kill. maybe everyone had to be like her. and switch off. turn off the humanity. turn off the empathy she was once taught. maybe that was the only way to survive. after all, when she'd met Glenn she thought his kindness and generosity would get him killed. but did she really want to go back on that? did she want him to lose that? or was that why she fell in love with him?

"Holy shit Alex! You alright?" Sam huffed as he ran into the room having heard the gunshots echo through the town. His panicked voice made Alex turn. Her heart racing. The violent emotions still rushing through her body. 

"Yeah," she responded, her voice almost monotone as Glenn, Rick and michonne rushed into the house after hearing the same as Sam. Alex's eyes darted between the panicked expressions all staring at her, yet her face remained emotionless. they couldn't stay out in the open much longer, and everyone knew it. 

"I'm good" She reassured noticing the concern written across her uncle's face. Rick nodded his hand going to his niece's shoulder, the concern for her still showing no matter what. He had to keep her safe, just as he had to do the same for Carl. Sam and Glenn's worried Eyes remained on Alex as she left the room with Michonne and Rick returning to the search with supplies, now opting to stay together. 

"Alex, Can I talk to you?" Glenn spoke as the group left the house Alex had just had the encounter with the three walkers, turning her head toward her husband she could tell by the expression on his face... that whatever he wanted to say. it wasn't gonna be good. 

*********

A/N- I'm so sorry this isn't proofread. i really couldn't be bothered. writers block is kicking my arse rn. BUT we are so close to the happy Alexandrian era. I am so excited... let's just pretend that happy era lasts forever shall we lmao

NEW CHARACTERS SOON I'm so excited lmaooo 

Thank you so much to everyone whos continued reading i know I've changed a lot