Hush now, you don't know how
I would sacrifice my world for you
Hush now, let it all pour out
You'll be right as rain on dew

It happened one week after Arthur had risen. One week after he had left the cold numbness of the lake and entered a loud, intense world, that was just confusing, with all those people that, despite to all those flickering lights and quick changing noises, seemed to feel their surrounding so less. But thankfully Merlin had been there. Merlin who had looked at him shocked, tears in his eyes. Brave Merlin, who blinked the tears away and started to explain this strange world to him. The raven haired boy had brought him to his home, made a home for Arthur in this world. This world that still was his own, but somehow, wasn't anymore.

But now one week after Arthur had returned and had already realized the strange mood swings on his former manservant, he was completely sure that something was wrong. It was in the middle of the night, when he woke up from a silent, suppressed sob. He wondered what happened, unsure if he might just had imagined that sound. But just a moment latter, he heard it again and after it a shaky breath. He stood up, leaving his room to look if it was Merlin who cried. But when he entered his friends room, it was empty, and instead he heard a sound in the kitchen. He went down the stairs, that lead to their living room, kitchen and the second bathroom and his heart sank when he saw Merlin, sitting on the floor, a hand pressed to his mouth, his whole body shaking in order to suppress the sobs. His head rested on his knees and when he lifted it, and saw Arthur he stood up and tried to put a smile on his face. "Did I woke you Arthur? I did not want to, sorry." Arthur stared at him, wondering if Merlin really just said, what he had heard. "Merlin, you don't have to be sorry." He stepped over to him, sat down and pointed to the floor by his side. Slowly, unsure if he should do it, Merlin sat down. "Do you wanna talk about it?" Arthur asked carefully, but Merlin shook his head. "I am perfectly alright Arthur. You shouldn't worry over me." his trembling voice showed the lie even more. "But I do worry Merlin. Since I am back I worry about you. You're not the same anymore, and if I hear you cry, yes I worry then, because there's something that you might have forgotten. I am your friend Merlin. And now it is easier than ever before. And friends worry about each other." Merlin was shaking when he answered: "But that's the problem Arthur. You shouldn't have to worry. I should be strong. I had more than one thousands years to prepare me for that, but again I am failing you. It seems like I am always failing you." Now, finally he allowed himself to burst out into tears. Arthur stopped his back- and forth rocking with a hug, that lasted long and Merlin allowed himself to sink into it completely, his face buried into Arthurs crook. "You have not failed me Merlin and you don't do it now." Arthur whispered into the raven hair. "You did your very best to protect me and, just as everyone else, you're allowed to be sad and if you are, please don't hide it from me. Let me take care of you, just as you do all the time." "No, you don't understand Arthur." Merlin shook his head rapidly. I should serve you. I should take care of you. And I should make sure that you're save, that you don't die on me again, because honestly Arthur... I could not bear this for a second time. I should be happy because you're finally back, but if I am honest... I'm a mess Arthur, a total mess, because I am so utterly scared to lose you again." Merlin cried even harder and Arthur stroke his hair. He tried to hush him down a little, whispering: "It's alright, you're going to be alright Merlin, it's going to be okay." The silent "I do not fear for myself Arthur. I fear for you and only for you!" made Arthur sigh. "I promise that I won't leave you again Merlin. But you should care about you Merlin. This is important." "You're my first priority, you've always been, and you'll always be. This will not change Arthur." His voice was still trembling, but his tone showed no space for discussion. Arthur let it be for today, calming Merlin down, was his first priority now. "Well, if you tried so hard to hide what you feel, Merlin, what made you cry in the middle of the night?" Merlins face went even paler. "A dream." Was all he could manage to say. "It was just a dream Merlin. It is not the truth. I am fine and we're going to be alright." "You don't understand Arthur." Merlin sobbed. "They became true earlier. You died. You died on me again. I failed you again. Why am I always failing you?"
In the end Arthur managed to calm Merlin down. Around 3am. the Warlock fell asleep in his arms and Arthur lifted him up gently, frightened by how thin his friend was. He put him into his bed carefully, tucked him up and whispered. "It is okay. Sleep now Merlin. I am here to stay. I'm not going to die again." Then he wanted to leave the room, to get some rest himself, but a frightened whimper stopped him. When he turned around, he saw how Merlin looked at him, his red-rimmed eyes pleading and his mouth forming the words: "Stay, please?" And so Arthur stayed. Laid down beside Merlin, but kept himself awake, till the even breath beside him assured him that Merlin was asleep.

And I heard you crying, so quietly
I heard you crying, won't you cry on me
Oh, let me just hold you now all your life
Oh and I heard you crying, so quietly, last night

The next time it happened, Arthur laid down beside Merlin directly and they only spoke about it very shortly on the next morning. Arthur told Merlin, to wake him, no matter when. That he would be there for him, no matter what. And Merlin just looked down, his cheeks flushed and he mumbled a silent "Thank you Arthur." The days went by and Arthur remembered his friend to eat, to take care of himself. He was shocked, how often Merlin simply forgot to eat, but he only ever really realized how cruel destiny had been to Merlin, and how hard those years of loneliness, that must have seemed endless, had been for the Warlock, when Arthur entered Merlins room and the raven haired lay on his bed, completely emotionless, and wasn't breathing. Arthur started to panic, but suddenly he heard a husky voice beside him. "I am so sorry Arthur. I did not mean to scare you." "What did just happen Merlin?" Arthur asked, still in shock, and Merlins answer: "I just forgot to breath for a while. This happens sometimes." did not made it better at all. This particular moment had showed Arthur, what immortality could do to your soul. It never happened again, but Arthur would always remember this moment.

Rest here, bring your head near
You won't find your fears inside these arms
Rest here, on my shoulder dear
I will comfort you from all the harm

The third time he woke up from a cry, the sobs were louder and Merlin stood in his door. "Can I sleep here?" His voice was shaking, frightened like the one of a little child and Arthur nodded, saying things like "Of course" and "Lay down right here." He stroke the short hair of his friend and pulled him in, to make him feel save. And Merlin clung to him, so desperate as if his life dependent on it. Arthur did not really understand the "Please just be real." That escaped the trembling lips once or twice, between shaking breaths. But he was there for Merlin and that was the important thing about it.

And I heard you crying, so quietly
I heard you crying, won't you cry on me
Oh, let me just hold you now all your life
I heard you crying, so quietly, last night

Sleep by me, this love I see shouldn't weep
Just be safe, be brave
Sweet you dream, though the night may seem
So cold, be bold for me

At some point Arthur lost count on how often, Merlins nightmares woke both of them up and so he decided to do something about it. Something that could help both of them and he was sure that it would help them, so Arthur did not mind the questioning expression on Merlins face, when he showed him the bigger bed and so they started to sleep in the same bed.

And I heard you crying, so quietly
I heard you crying, won't you cry on me
Oh, let me just hold you now all your life
I heard you crying, so quietly, last night

And somewhen after that, when Arthur woke up from another frightening scream beside him, he turned to merlin, took him in his arms, just as normal, but when Merlin pulled back, and his lips trembled harder than Arthur had saw it ever before, he leaned in closer to him and stopped these soft, lips from trembling, with a careful, gentle kiss. At first Merlins eyes widened, but then he calmed down a little and kissed him back. And every time Merlin woke up scared after that, Arthur would calm his shaking body with a warm embrace and his trembling lips with gentle kisses, that made his soul heal.