I'm lying in the abyss, strolling along the sky on my pillow made of fluffy clouds. Mateo dropped a weight of information on my foot and left me with my swarming thoughts. It's like I'm not even here, wandering through my life in the third person. My mind has taken the parked shift and switched to drive, bolting past every option until they're ingrained in my eyes.

How am I supposed to enjoy my possible last moments with Asiel when I'm fighting the warriors in my mind? I always thought I was strong — that I could prevail over anything, but the pressure is smothering me. How am I supposed to make a decision that transforms not only my life but Asiel's? How is that fucking fair? It's fucking mind-boggling, and I can't even ask the person I trust the most.

I'll be lying if I said that option three was tempting.

The demonic voices whisper in my ears, their burning breath scraping the ends of my ears. To fuck everything! You deserve happiness, too. Your happy ending is only a blink away. I thought I had changed, but the same old Mika resides inside me. It's just I want to keep him for myself. He brought me onto this rollercoaster, and now I never want to get off. He strapped me in for life.

Just like the demonic voices in the background were the sweet, soothing murmurs of an angel. It's nearly impossible to hear over the dark, grim tones of the darkness harboring in my soul. My ear tingles as they pose tremendous questions. Don't you love Asiel? You owe him the truth. He deserves to make the decision himself.

Regardless, none of the options were good. I didn't want to visualize what would happen if I chose to expose Mateo-- I'll be going down with the ship. The thought slices through my heart, piercing the bloody organ and leaving a path of devastation in its wake. I'm not sure I can carry around the guilt.

Why couldn't we hide from the world together until everything blew over?

As absurd as it sounds, I would prefer Mateo to penalize me by having to kill dozens of people. It's terrifying, isn't it? Mateo could ask me to kill anyone, no matter how many, instead of giving up Asiel. Even though I'll be trekking in hell through the corpses of my victims, paying for my sins. It wouldn't matter because I would save the only man I ever loved.

But hurting him, no, killing him-- just the thought of betraying Asiel causes my stomach to twist into knots of guilt. If Mateo gave me these choices months ago, when I treated Asiel like utter shit, then I would've picked the worst option.

"Princesa, do you have the scrunchie?" Asiel asks, arching his neck, giving me a peek at his sweet face. I nod, handing the black scrunchie on my wrist, and sigh. "Is everything okay? You have been out of it for the past few days. You know I'm not upset, right?"

"Mmm," I reply, nibbling on my lip.

"Princesa, can I be honest, too?" The bristles from the brush tickle my hair as he sways away every knot. "Knowing that you're with other guys does hurt... but I'm not really one to tell you what to do with your body. It's your body, not mine, and I can't claim any rights to it. I was ecstatic about you leaving Diablo's Paraiso, and it hurt when you changed your mind, but I get it. It's not the work that's keeping you there. It's the familia you created."

So innocent.

He picks up on my ques.

Asiel knows I'm upset, but I wish I could tell him the actual reason why.

"I'd be a hypocrite to tell you to stop working at Paraiso when I met you there. I just wanna love and lavish you every single day until my dying breath." he chuckles, placing a quick kiss on the back of my head.

Gnawing my lip and fighting back the string of tears, I nod. "I love you."

The friction from Asiel tugging on my hair ceases to exist, causing my eyebrows to brunch together.

He drops his head on my shoulders, turning his head to glance into my eyes. "Now, I think something is seriously wrong."

I raise an eyebrow. "Why?"

His finger caresses the apples of my cheeks, causing goosebumps to arouse on my skin. "Because you rarely express your emotions through words. In other words, you don't typically say I love you."

I click my tongue, feeling my face turn fifty shades of bloody red. "Well, that's going to change starting today. I'm going to tell you I love you at least fifty times a day. So, you won't ever forget it."

I look at his profile: the button nose with a droopy tip, the v-shape jaw, the big, round eyes with that look of pure virtuousness. No matter how much hatred he fills himself with, he's always the rainbow after a rainy day in my life. My white knight in satin armor-- the type Riley constantly ranted about.

"Asiel, I love you so, so much," I confess, slowly tilting my head down to meet his lips.

Our noses rub against each other as our lips touch, forming a sweet, desirable kiss. Asiel's lips are soft, tasting like cherries because of his lip balm. It's a long and deep kiss, touching every part of my soul in the best way possible. It's the type that has my mind circling like a carousel. He grips the nape of my neck, mushing our lips so close that our teeth clash against each other.

Every time I whisper I love you on his lips, Asiel laughs and steals my breath away with those intoxicating kisses. I turn around, breaking our kiss for a second and gripping onto Asiel's cheek, colliding our lips again. My heart joyfully beats for each mark he leaves on my lips. My mind is fuzzy, my dazed thoughts lingering around as a permanent reminder.

We fall on the couch so effortlessly, my back hitting the soft cushions as our breaths expel. His hands travel up my body, grasping for the perfect position, right in my hand. My other hand grips his jaw, tilting his head back for leverage. My tongue glides across his lips, asking, begging for entrance, attention.

A pained whimper leaves my throat and vibrates through my chest as he moves to my neck. An intense ache builds in the pits of my lower belly as he lathers my breast with kisses. It's like we haven't had sex in years. We're yearning for each other, becoming one soul on nights like this.

He captures my bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth, and tugs with his teeth. When his tongue seeks entrance, I don't hesitate, opening my mouth as my body shudders with desire. My nipples tighten into firm beads as he plays with them, squeezing them between his fingers. My pulse throbs through every inch of my body.

Like a ninja, I swap places with Asiel, forcing his back against the couch and sitting on his lap. His cock pulsates against my thigh as my pussy throbs, eager to eliminate the restraining material. Gasping for air, I rip his white shirt open, buttons flying everywhere and his chest rising and falling at rapid speeds.

I press my lips into his slick, toned chest, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses down his abdomen. He shudders, dropping his head back as he whimpers.

"I love you," I smear into his skin.

His chest rises and falls with every breath, and he stares at me with nothing but trust in those big, emerald eyes. "I'll never get tired of hearing those words come out of your lips. I love you too. I love you so fucking much."

I lean forward, pressing my lips to his neck, enjoying the rapid flutter of his pulse beneath my mouth. "Not more than me. I love you so much that I'll burn the world down for you. I'll jump in front of a bullet for you. Isn't that crazy?"

He fists my hair, tugging it back until I'm staring straight up at him. "No. Not at all." An involuntary gasp escapes my throat when he slams my back against the cushion, eyeing me with passionate hunger. "What's crazy is that I haven't taken care of that needy little pussy of yours. I've been slacking."

My core clenches as he rips my thong like a caveman. His hardened, thick cock is already out of his pants, and my mouth waters, looking at it. It's the best cock I ever fucked, and I fucked a lot. Maybe it's the emotions attached to our fucking, but God, the difference is impeccable.

"What are you waiting for? Fuck my needy little puss-." My words get cut short by his palm as he slams into me in a precise position. 

My toes curl as they lay on his broad shoulder, taking the pounding like a motherfucking champ. Pain and pleasure burst through me. I'm screaming into his palm, closing my eyes as he stretches me to the max. Like holy shit! Did he drink an extra protein shake this morning? My soaking pussy squeaks with every thrust, filling the air with the sounds of pure sex.

Asiel hauls me around like a rag doll, locking my arms in his, forcing them behind my body. My shameless moans pierce the air as Asiel pounds me, his thrusts so rough, our bodies clap against each other. A tingling sensation blooms at the base of my spine. My breaths come out in short pants, and my eyes roll back.

"God, I love you, and I love it when you fuck me like a useless rag doll!" I scream, the flames of desire burning hotter.

My soft moans turn into a squeal when he smacks my ass, leaving them batted and red.

Asiel's thrust picks up a steady, punishing rhythm, fucking me so hard I can't see straight. He fists my hair, tugging my back until I am upright, while his other hand closes around my throat. Tears cascade down my cheeks from the intense sensation about to reach the breaking point. My mouth hangs slack as orgasm after orgasm crashes over me in an endless wave of euphoria. My pussy arousal leaks down my legs.

Another sob of pleasure peeks out when Asiel releases my hair and covers my mouth, muffling my moans. One hand on my mouth and the other around my throat pushes me to my breaking point. Another wave floods me, my entire body shaking from the force of everything.

"Gosh, this juicy, wet pussy is all mine. Your lips-- mine. Everything about you is mine, Mika. Remember that," he groans, his last thrust almost making my knees buckle as I feel his dick pulsating in me.

"I love you." Asiel slid his hand down from my throat to my waist, giving me one long stroke, and pulls out. "I also love the way my come drips out of you."

I laugh, collapsing on the couch from pure exhaustion. "Asiel, do you realize how important you are to me? I don't want you to doubt my feelings. Ever."

Asiel sits on the floor, spreading my legs wide in front of his face as he uses tissues to clean me up. "I wouldn't ever question it. You always show me in ways without realizing it. That's why I understand the sacrifice you were making for me and open up to me about it. Was Diablo happy to have you back?"

I nod. "Yeah. He didn't want me to leave. I guess it's like a baby bird leaving the nest. He doesn't want me to make a mistake."

With every wipe, Asiel drops a kiss on my inner thigh. "He doesn't like us together, does he?"

I shrug. "It doesn't matter if Eugene does or not. He doesn't own me. At least not outside of work."

His nostrils flare. "Yeah, but you tend to do whatever he says."

"No, I don't."

"Okay."

"Asiel," I call out, my eyes wide with annoyance. "Seriously? I don't listen to whatever he says. How could you say that?"

He sighs heavily, tossing the tissues into the garbage can. "I believe you. Okay? I just don't like him around you. What if you go back to him again?"

My heart jumps in my throat as I lean forward, gripping his cheek and connecting our foreheads. "Asiel... how could you think that after what we just did? You own me, heart and soul. No one can take your place in my heart. I'm so lucky to have you, and I don't even deserve it."

He presses a kiss to my lips, and I sigh with pleasure. "Ridiculous. I'm the lucky one here. In what world would a woman like you fall for me? Nice guys finish last after all, but that's the risk of falling in love. We have to put our hearts on the line to feel the highs and lows. I don't know what's ahead of us, but I'm with you all the way. If you want me to leave, you will need to kill me."

Asiel falls on the empty side of the couch, taking up most of the space with his long legs. Like a koala bear, I thrust into his arms, laying my head on his chest. My lips tip into a smile at the pounding of his heartbeat beneath me.

"I think I can get used to this. You being all clingy. I love it." He strokes my hair, straightening the length down my back.

"I want to hold you because..." I pause, my fingers walking back and forth on his chest. "There might come a time when I can't anymore."

He snorts. "That's ridiculous."

Love.

Apparently, love conquers all, that love is stronger than anything else in the world, that love could overturn the odds stacked against us. It's ludicrous for me to believe in this idiotic phrase. What happened to love being like those things convey in a romantic ballad? Yes, love makes us crazy. Love makes us blind. Love can make you feel like you're on top of the world. Like not even a bullet in the chest could take us down.

But love is a lie.

Love is not patient.

Time ticks on. I'm losing time with Asiel as we speak. One month isn't enough. There are so many things we have planned to achieve together. Our wedding for one. Could we even make it down the aisle?

Love is not kind.

Not when every foreseeable future is full of betrayal, death, and destruction. There's no better outcome. This is the reality of the situation, but I have to make do.

Love makes me envious.

Envious of those couples strolling around central park hand in hand and boasting smiles on their faces. To fall in love and out of love with the flick of a finger. Like the act of love was something normal, something familiar.

Love is boastful, love is proud.

If only I could travel the world and tell everyone about the man I had fallen in love with. Talk about him with a twinkle in my eye, like when people fangirl about their favorite actors. But life tends to hold me accountable. Never been fair to me.

Love dishonors, love is self-seeking, and love is easily angered.

The way I'm so tempted to take option number three and betray Asiel again. What's the difference between the betrayals I made? Guilt sinks into my gut like a nickel in the water of a foundation. Is it wrong to feel like this? To want to betray Asiel, to lie to him, once again, just so I could selfishly go on loving him?

Love does not delight in the truth, but rejoices in evil.

Our love sways on the leaning, tall stack of books with only lies holding us upright. Once one lies come out, the love tower falls like Jenga pieces. Once the truth is unraveled, what will come from that?

Love does not always protect.

Because even at our best, we have individuals hunting us down for the final strike. We're in grave danger, walking around with no helmets or padding.

But love always trusts.

Exactly like the way Asiel trusts me, but I don't deserve even an ounce of that trust. But even with stacks up against us, I can only hope our love preserves. How can I make this decision without Asiel's intel? How dare I think I have the right to make the decision that involves both of our futures?

I'm the motherfucking murderer.

I'm the one that caused this whole fucking mess to begin with!

He won't be the same, no matter what I chose.

Do I let Asiel live in a lie forever, or do I let the truth come to light, something he's always wanted and talked about?

One decision.

Two lives.

Not fair at all.

My pulse ratchets up a notch. "Hey, Asiel?"

"Yes, Princesa?"

My teeth dig into my bottom lip as I trace hearts on his chest and inscribe the letter to my name. "What would you give up... in exchange for everything that went down... with your brother and the other things?"

Involuntarily, I hold my breath in as I wait for his reply. This will make my decision, and he's just answering for the fun of it.

Asiel strokes lines back and forth on my bare back, leaving a tingling sensation in its wake. "Everything, Mika. I want to know more than anything. So, I'll give up absolutely everything."

Love makes the damned fall, and fall, I shall.

Gosh, I really love this chapter. It's kind of heartbreaking the dilemma Mika is in and the way, she's like just wanting to spend every last second with Asiel...

Why am I evil guys 😭🤭🥹 I don't want to hurt them. They're too pure! I love them together so much!!! I'm like Mika ! Why can't the world be nice to them?

Are you happy with Mika's decision?

Thank you guys for commenting, voting and just reading!! I'm super super grateful for you guys! You guys make this story feel alive and like I'm not just writing for myself...

Love ya 💜❤️❤️