Shivaay entered her ward to see her sleeping, or maybe pretending to sleep. He went near her and sat on the stool holding her hand, caressed her hair softly. She shut her eyes tightly feeling his hold. He observed that. He knew she didn't want anyone around but he wasn't going to leave. Even if she pushes him away, he would stick to her side. No matter how much she denied, he knew she needed him the most at the moment.

   
           Pecking her forehead, he sat beside her keeping her head in his lap. He kept patting her hair softly making her snuggle into him. He sighed gulping. He was breaking inside but was putting the facade of being strong for her. She didn't even cry and that was scaring him. He lost his baby, now he couldn't lose her. He would die.

           Annika held him tightly making him look at her again. He made her sleep whispering soothing nothings to her while he himself kept his head back to the headrest closing his eyes but sleep was faraway. All he could see was just his baby's face. He opened his eyes with a jerk blinking rapidly. He felt scared to even close his eyes.

      Not knowing till when it was going to be such, he made Annika lay down properly and left out of the ward. She was in deep sleep.

Five days later

      He wiped her lips after making her drink the soup and himself had the same. She was discharged from the hospital a day back. He denied having any nurse to take care of her. He decided to do that himself. From cleaning her stitches to making her bath, he did everything. He ate the food she had, even if it was bland he didn't care. If he wanted to support her then he would do in every sense.

         Annika was too lost to see all this. She was completely silent. She didn't cry, didn't speak, did what all she was told to. She didn't even look at what he fed her. She was just agreeing onto everything he was saying or doing.

       He was worried sick for her. He consulted the doctor regarding the same who said she was in deep mental trauma. She needed to cry it out but she wasn't. He was losing his strength.

         He didn't even have anyone to talk with. He wasn't talking to any of his family members. He had given them an earful after coming home for not being with Annika. He didn't even look at his mother who left to attend a so called wedding leaving Annika alone. Even Annika herself asked her to go but that nowhere meant she wasn't at fault. He had given them strict warning to them to not leave her alone no matter what. More than them, he was angry on himself for ignoring her pleas and go. If he was there, it wouldn't have happened. They wouldn't have lost their baby. Annika wouldn't have been such. The guilt was eating him up.

        He tried talking to Annika but she didn't budge at all. It was as if she had built a wall around her to not let anyone make her feel anything. He even talked to her about the baby but that didn't help either.

        Three months passed but there were no changes in Annika. She had stopped going out of her room. She would lock the door and be alone for whole day. Shivaay would come through the poolside door to feed her or just to be with her. He had started working from home since he didn't want to leave her alone. He couldn't trust anyone else when it came to her.  

        But it was getting unbearable for him. He couldn't see her like that. He wanted his Annika back. And he knew what he had to do. He didn't want to do that but had to. He was controlling since long but not anymore.

          It was eight in the evening when he came with her dinner. She was sitting near the bed on the floor looking at nowhere particular.

         He sat in front of her and started feeding her. She ate silently as usual. He took a deep breath before speaking.

        'Till how long are you going to be like this?' He asked feeding her simultaneously. She kept mum.

      'Can't you see i'm dying seeing you like this?'

      His voice choked but there was no reaction from her side. He went silent for a minute before speaking again.

       'I didn't know you are a coward, Annika. I didn't know at all. A coward who's scared to even live... '

      Yet again, his words went in vain. He sighed closing his eyes. He had to do it, for her.

       'Actually, it's my fault. I expected a little too much from you. I shouldn't have... '

      She still didn't look at him, instead, closed her eyes leaning back.

        'Okay shivaay, one last chord... ' he thought in mind before looking at her again.

         'So now you don't even want me. That's great. It would have been better if i buried myself along with the baby. But better late then never. Good bye, jaana!! Have a happy life... '

        Her eyes shot open hearing his words only to get more shocked seeing him drinking something from a bottle which she snatched from him immediately. Her breathing turned heavy realising that it was poison. He was sitting still, looking at her.

       'Sh... Shivaay.. ' she whispered choking as her vision got blurred because of tears. He sighed falling back hearing her speak after literal three months.

 
       'Shivaay... ' she was quick enough to crawl to him thinking that the poison was affecting. She was finally crying. He looked at her.

         'It was water... ' he spoke calmly observing her face. He didn't stop her from crying.

        She was shocked hearing him. Picking the bottle, she smelled it only to glare him. He didn't react.

        She burst out crying hitting on his chest continuously. He let her do.

       'You want to go right? Go leaving me?... Then go, just go like her... Just like i lost her, i will lose you too... Go shivaay.... ' she kept hitting, still crying.

        That was it for shivaay. He held her hands before sitting up. He looked at her accusingly. She was still crying.

        'Do you even realise what are you saying? She was not just your child, Annika. Not only you, but i lost her too. But along with her, i lost my wife too... ' he stuttered leaving her hands. His words made her cry more.

       'You think it was easy for me? To be all strong just to not let you fall weak. You think i wasn't affected when i talked to you about our baby?... I lost, Annika!!! I failed in everything. I failed you, my baby, my family, everyone... ' he gulped but didn't cry.

          She was quick to jump over him hugging him tightly. She was crying hard. She was letting out all her pain, her agony. He hugged her back letting his tears flow. They kept holding onto each other. She was straddling him, her face was hidden in the crook of his neck, she was holding his torso very tightly while his arms were accross his upper back and waist.

        'Our... Our baby... Shivaay.... Get her back, please... ' she hiccuped clutching his kurta from back in her fists. He cried along.

          Two hours passed by but they didn't leave each other. She was still crying silently while he kept rubbing her back and hair.

         'I'm sorry, shivaay. I'm really sorry. I was so lost in myself that i forgot to see you. It was time when you needed me but I wasn't there, with you, to console you while you never left my side. But i didn't have the strength. I couldn't face you, shivaay!!! It was all my fault. I... I could have been more careful...i killed our baby..' she sobbed hiding more into him. He was amused.

        'Annika!!!!' He held her more securely in his arms.

         'It wasn't your fault, baby. It was meant to happen or maybe, it wasn't the time for her to come... ' he sighed pecking her hair. She sniffed.

        She parted away looking at him. He wiped her tears.

     'Wanna cry more?' He asked softly. She shook her head.

   
       They kept looking at each other without saying anything. Their eyes still held the pain of their loss. She cupped his face.

          'Love me... ' she whispered caressing his cheek with her thumb as a tear rolled down her eye. He pecked her palm that was over his face. She was still in his lap.

  
        He pecked her forehead firmly telling her that he'll always be there. His lips lingered there for few moments making a sigh escape her lips. He pecked her eyes tenderly kissing her tears away. She sniffed as he pecked her nose. He kissed her cheeks making her part her lips.

       Soon his lips met hers as their eyes closed on their own. He didn't move his lips, just kept pecking her feeling the moment, trying to feel and absorb her pain. She wanted him to kiss her and so, she held his face and started kissing him softly which he let her do. He held her waist pulling her closer kissing her back gently.

      
         Parting away, she joined her forehead to his, their eyes still closed. She was holding onto his neck. He got up making her wrap her legs around him going to bed.

          He made her lay down sitting beside her. She gulped blinking. He nodded no kissing her forehead again. He knew she was going to cry.

         He hovered her kissing her again. That night, he made sweet and gentle love to her. He kissed all her pain away. Both cried as they moved in the rhythm of love. They felt so close to each other after so long.

         Annika was laying over him as played with her hair. There were tear strains on their faces, but that was the proof that their pain started fading away. They were going to get back to normal. Not soon, but eventually they would.

          Afterwards, Annika started feeling fine. She came out of her room the next day, after three months. He was with her all the while. She interacted with everyone a little. Shivaay still didn't talk to them. Annika noticed but didn't say anything. She felt a little better. She was gradually taking steps to move on, to live her life like before. Even their baby wouldn't be happy seeing them like that, so gloomy and dull.

        On his insistence, she went to hospital after two more months. She felt a lot better. Meeting her staff made her forget everything for a while. Soon after, she got to her duty. Having done a successful surgery, she felt happy. Her life was getting on the track again. She couldn't ask for more. Though she was still guilty to ignore shivaay for three months but that man *sigh* he never let her feel that way, not even once.

        A year passed to her miscarriage, and she was all ready to forget the past and start a new life, of course, with him being by her. Without him, it wasn't possible.

        Not that they forgot what they endured, but they learnt to accept it and still move on. Wasn't life all about it? Accepting what may come and still not giving up.

 
       They learnt it very hard way....

Flashback ends

***************

I feel they could have been more verbal about their feelings or what they experienced. But I didn't get anything else in mind, maybe I can edit later on... Sorry for disappointment...