7:00 Because I don't have my phone, I had asked my mom to make sure I was awake at 6:40. But she forgot. I wake up now due to my dad loudly coughing downstairs.

There's still time to take Mattie out. Everything outside is crunchy and my car has a thin coat of ice. But at least it's sunny.

7:35 We get back inside. I eat a bowl of yogurt with fruit and chia seeds, and my mom makes toast so I eat a piece with peanut butter. I try the cinnamon and clove tea a friend gave me.

I think about how most families have one boy and a girl, what I would do if I won millions in a lawsuit (build a house with a climate-controlled aviary for Donald), and other things I've forgotten now.

8:25 I arrive at work. To my complete shock, Kellen is here before me, but he forgot his office key. I let him in. I find my phone right where I left it. Outside, I check the cat food and find it uneaten, so I move it to a more prominent spot.

It's not a busy morning, which is good because I help someone troubleshoot their State Farm app over the phone for an hour.

Late in the morning, Ray disappears and vaguely says he has to do something for his daughter.

11:15 Kellen and I are in the back room when Ray comes back. He yells, "SANTA CAME!" and we come out and our presents, which we weren't even expecting, are in our chairs. He gave me a Tom Nook hat, an Animal Crossing puzzle, an Animal crossing character thermos, a moochi pillow, and a journal. I immediately put on the Tom Nook hat and wear it for the rest of the day.

12:30 I go to the park to walk and listen to Fin's Revolution. I get through chapter three. Because I tend to look down, I spot an open-mouthed raccoon that curled up on the shore and died. I call it into Parks and Rec in case it had rabies because that doesn't seem like a normal raccoon death.

An older, slightly feeble woman who might have a mental disability and very obviously smokes three packs of cigarettes a day asks if I can help her get her strong dog to walk with her. It's too much dog for her. The dog is shy, gentle, and easy to lead. The lady gives me a rock as a thank-you.

After walking, I go into Walmart to get what I need for fudge. Walmart is swamped for some reason. I also can't find eggnog.

1:35 I get back to work. The afternoon is a little busier. A guy who bought insurance and cancelled it in the same day (obviously just needing to get a tag) calls about his refund and gets so freaking mean and demands to speak to my manager. (I don't let him.) It gets to me, which doesn't normally happen anymore, and makes me want to go home.

5:15 I get home. Christmas music is on, and my mom is wrapping gifts by the tree. I talk to her for awhile and bring her the tea I got for my dad so she'll wrap it for me.

Time after I get home from work flies. I wash my hair. We eat eggs, potatoes, and frozen spinach for dinner. Afterwards, I make my annual fudge and truffles. Every year I forget what my truffle chocolate tastes like and I have a cosmic experience all over again.

I don't have Christmas sprinkles to roll the truffles in. I want to go to Walmart, but my mom says no, citing that I'm in pajamas. I cite that I can change. She still says no. I make do with powdered sugar and brown sprinkles. The dishes take forever.

The fudge always has crushed candy canes on top. I lay them out in a bag on the living room floor and hammer them.

8:00 I was supposed to go pick up the hermit crab at this time. The lady is so far ghosting me, even after I made extra truffles for her.

8:15 She finally messages me and says I can come get the crab. I am delayed when my family starts arguing about the growing arsenal of weapons in the house.

I finally leave half an hour later after sending off a fast apology. I honestly can't believe I'm doing this. The lady lives on a dark road in town in a big GORGEOUS house on property my parents actually used to own. She's nicer in person than over messages and has a tiny Yorkie. I'm dressed like absolute trash in my old tennis shoes with a hole in them, fuzzy Christmas socks, sweatpants also with a hole, an XL Harvard tee shirt, a long black sweater, and a toboggan hat with ear covers. Her house is so classy I feel bad.

She gives me the crab. He's busting out of shell, which is painted in the style of tourist traps.

She gives me a bag of painted shells which I will not use, and a crab fruit mix, which I will. The crab and I wind home through back roads and I add him to the crabitat.

Here are some notes about the crabitat. One, there are three hermit crabs below the surface: Clara, Peter, and Crabaldi. Crabaldi was my first and started all this madness. I feel pretty confident that Clara is dead, but because I haven't seen a body, she's still included in the pet count. Peter comes out sometimes at night. Crabaldi used to always be out, but lately he's a wildcard and I haven't seen him in forever. I feel like a complete hermit crab failure so I got this fourth one in a way to try to do better.

Secondly, the crabitat is way too crowded and I want to upgrade from 10 gallons to 20 gallons really bad shhh

9:30 I let poor Donald out of his cage and prepare the hermit crab dinner. He gets the fruit mix, mealworms, blood worms, dried shrimp, and chia seeds.

THE NIGHT IS NOT OVER. It's only just begun. I made my family and Kellen ornaments for Christmas. My dad's and Kellen's crumbled upon completion. I may have mentioned this. Anyway, I re-sculpted theirs late last night, and now I have to paint and glaze so I can give Kellen his tomorrow. I listen to/watch a Cinema Therapy episode while I work. I only pause to read my friend's update and say goodnight to my mom. Donald can sleep with me tonight; he does half the time, anyway, so I don't carry him downstairs. I have executive dysfunction about brushing my teeth.

10:00 I drop my relatively cheap laptop onto hardwood floor from chest-height. It survives.

In the meantime, I paint the second coat on the ornaments, and ONE OF THEM BREAKS. I declare it to be my dad's because I have less time to fix Kellen's.

11:00 I'm bored waiting for the glaze to dry, so I blow on it intensely to dry it. I start seeing black spots but it works.

Then I get in bed with Mattie. I don't care how late it is because Christmas feels really close now.