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"Whoot! That should be it for the simple stuff!" I cheered, giggling as a gear shifted into place. "How's that?"

Bucky put his arm through the motions, even shifting the plates that were attached. There was still the slightest twitch in his fingers. Most definitely not the norm. Not for the great sniper during the Second World War from how Gramps talked about him. No amazing shots with that tremor.

But he gave a nod of approval.

"What's left are the questionable stuff...? Eve, we're going to follow the old ass orange wire. See what that's attached to," I said, repositioning the snake cam back into the upper arm.

Wiggling myself into position, we started following the orange wire. Eve controlling the snake cam, I clearing a path and Bucky keeping still or watching more Mythbusters. No idea if he's been paying attention to it.

"So, don't feel like you have to answer this but once this is all fixed up, what are your plans?" I tried when the feeling of wanting to hurl began to creep up on me.

"I... I don't know..." he muttered. "I need to get Hydra out of my head. They did something to me. There was this... chair.... I can't remember anything after I... after they... after... after...?"

"The head, huh?" I hummed.

"It hurt...." His voice cracking when he admitted it.

"If it's the head, maybe I can get Amber to look? She's been working with brain stuff for a few years now. She might figure out something? What they did. Or what you can do about it?"

"You'd put her in danger?"

"...."

Apparently, both of us knew that I'd never risk Bucky forgetting himself anywhere near Amber. I wouldn't risk her being in the same room as a child with a pair of safety scissors if I had any say. Then again, her love of deadly pathogens and poisons made everything moot.

"I can figure a way around it...? It's worth a shot."

Bucky fell into silence, and I bit my tongue. Best not shove my foot further into my mouth.

"They said I was a gift to mankind," he mumbled after a long awkward silence. "That I shaped the century. They made me sound like... like I was a hero.... That I was doing good, but I... I wasn't. I killed so many.... I tried to kill a real hero.... The man the exhibit said was my.... He was my... my mission."

'Oh shit.' The last thing anyone needed was for Bucky to dash off in a 'seek and destroy' mindset. "You're... ummm...."

"Going to stay away from him. I need to get Hydra out of my head before I even consider going near St.... I can't risk it. I need to stay away. Where I can't hurt him anymo – "

"Hold still!! Both of you!" Eve demanded as a current ran rampant through Bucky's arm.

I really shouldn't have convinced Bucky to let me work without the insulated gloves. Pretty sure between Bucky's movements and mine, we ripped through at least one wire somewhere.

"Is it over? Do you want me to back out? Do you need to go hurl again?"

"I don't," I snapped, feeling the ghost of pins and needles from the shock.

"Mr. Barnes going to go berserk on us?"

"Oi! Play nice, Eve."

"Sorry," that husky voice mumbled, readjusting his arm a tad to return it to its spot perched on the top of my knees. "I didn't mean – "

"Don't sweat it, Bucky. Do you need a break?"

"I'm good."

"Then we keep going, Eve," I ordered, anchoring my elbows on my thighs and the side of my wrists against the metal plates left on his arm. "Well that sure explains the jolt. We found the power source... I think?"

For some reason or another, this thing was contained in a clear box. Made it pretty to look at and less mysterious than all the other nondescript black boxes.

"Hey Eve, doesn't this look familiar? I think that might be a... a generator? The fuck?"

"It's not a battery? Shouldn't it be a battery?" Bucky questioned.

"Actually, a generator makes a lot of sense. Little fuzzy on the exact input, but this should... probably... generates power on an as needed... basis? But I'm pretty sure I've seen this concept before.... Could probably figure out how to reboot the thing if it ever stops?"

"It doesn't match anything in the database."

"Of course it doesn't. It's not actually Gramps' work. It's one of the concepts he's tinkered with? You can back out now. I got what I needed. Just have to figure out what needs to be powered...."

The camera image backed up, as I carefully maneuvered my way out.

Bucky's been missing for seventy years. Most likely Hydra had him the whole time. Everything about the arm said that it was old. Older than me. Probably as old as my parents. Maybe older. Going by some of the wires. Some of the circuitry.

The fact that the seventies was when Gramps was driven out of alternative energies by the oil companies that ran off with a couple of his toes. Old and at the edge of its time. Of this time still.

But the scars screamed recent. Even if there were better ways to do some of the things in the arm.

"Still can't find anything that looks similar."

"I swear I've seen something like this before. Anything this old has to be from Gramps' stuff. Probably before your time too. You know what? Just gather all his notes on the thingies for me. I'm curious as to when Hydra poked around his stuff. See if we need to completely clean house."

"My house is clean," she insisted vehemently. "It's my top priority. They're not in my house!"

"Whoa, calm down, Eve. Better safe than sorry. It's not like SHIELD had any ideas."

"My house is fucking clean!!!"

"...Mind going back...? I missed a repair...."

With a "humph" from Eve, the camera crept forwards until I spotted the broken wire. I carefully shifted the two tweezers to one hand. One held the wire. The other gave me some room to work with. Bucky handed me the shaken polymer spray can. With the slightest movement of my left hand, the wire slid into place, ready for the polymer nozzle to get into position.

Pain slammed into my wrist, forearm and chest. Then my back. When I tried to straighten out, I couldn't. I was stuck.

"Bucky!" I called out. "Don't move! Please tell me you're still there...?"

Eve cleared the lenses of my glasses to show the room instead of static from a disconnected snake cam.

Bucky, on his feet. Eyes darted from me to the door and back. With every iteration, his shoulders tensed more and more as his fists clenched tighter and tighter.

"I'm here," he gritted out. Blood dripped from his right hand, and then the electricity must have flared up in his left. Strong enough to drop him to his knees. He needed to calm down.

"Bucky. Eyes here. Breathe with me."

"Order me to leave!" he half choked out.

"Look here and breathe with me."

"You're stuck in a wall! Tell me to leave.... Please."

"...No."

"Why the hell not?! I sent you into a wall!!"

"Because I'm stuck...?"

I tried to demonstrate by flapping my hands and lower legs, but that didn't go so well. So many joints just hurt. With my elbows tucked between my stomach and thighs, I wasn't going anywhere with my ass planted in the wall.

"So would you please focus on the fact that this was all an accident?"

Really wasn't looking forward to Eve deciding that she should attempt to free me with a bloody door whack to the face and push me through the fucking wall.

A shaky breath drew into his body and those haunted blue eyes focused on me. A whirlwind of emotions in those depths. Mostly self-loathing.

I offered him a friendly smile and attempted a deep breath to set the pace only to find out that I didn't have room for that. Slow half breaths for me then.

At least Bucky seemed like he was calming down. Slowly. The shaking in his shoulders lessened. His eyes dropped to the floor.

"Is anything broken?" he asked in the smallest voice.

"Nope. I'm not you. You'd know if I was seriously injured," I joked and shut my mouth at his glare.

The man's glare was far more intense than those of the people who actually meant me physical harm when I pissed them off.

"I probably just need some ice on my ankle and wrists. And maybe to get out of this wall?"

Bucky stared down at his own hands, grimacing at the metal and blood. He wiped his right hand on the side of his shirt as he slipped his left back through the sleeve. Effectively hiding a part of himself he hated.

Unsure steps drew him closer to me. Each could be heard as if he was announcing his intentions. That he was getting closer. His shoulders slumped. His head ducked. Probably trying to make himself smaller. Less intimidating.

But all I saw was the guilt twisting that beautiful face of his.

"I'm so sorry, Valeriy."

I couldn't disguise the wince when I tried to wave off the tension with a hand and a grin. "Bucky, accidents happen."

He kept his left arm far from me when he closed the distance. Practically shuffling sideways. His right hand broke through the drywall to curl around my waist. He gently pulled and lifted me out of the hole. Again, flooring me with just how controlled his strength was. As he lowered me onto the edge of the bed, there wasn't even a tremble. He struck the perfect balance of security and lightness with his hold.

Bucky reached up with his right hand, and I met his stare with a soft smile. He hesitated for a heartbeat before his fingers dusted the top of my head, filling the air with plaster dust. He systematically plucked pieces of drywall off me.

I stayed still, letting him do whatever he wanted. Whatever he needed to help ease that vicious conscience of his. Even if it's just by a pinch.

I couldn't help the ticklish shiver that raced down my spine when the back of his fingers barely brushed against the nape of my neck.

He inhaled sharply through his nose. His foot slid him backwards. His hand snapped away, but not before I caught it in mine. He flinched, likely expecting pain or punishment, and I winced from the tenderness of my wrist.

I squeezed down on his fingers. "Bucky..." I kept my voice soft, but I didn't know how to continue. I knew there was no way I could plead away the self-loathing that consumed him.

'What would Devon do...?'

I searched my memories for answers. Anything. We never had to deal with someone who lived in such fear. Mostly of himself.

'What can I even do?'

Bucky tore his hand out of mine. He turned away, walking for the door.

"Bucky...." Again, words left me.

Shoulders sagged. Head hung low. He glanced over his shoulder for a second. "Ice."

Relief flooded me.

He wasn't booking it to the farthest corner of the world. After all, there was nothing keeping him here. I had no idea if we could keep him out of Hydra's hands if he was running from us as well.

"Are you alright, Val?"

"All good. I missed the studs. No worse than when I fuck up the landings on the balance beams."

I got off the bed to shake off the remainder of the drywall dust from my hair and clothing. Every movement was tender.

'It's going to be a pain in the ass to work with this....'

And I still needed to assess the damage done to his arm from that wild swing.

"Oh shit, please tell me he didn't hurt himself."

"I'm not the one you should be worried about," Bucky stated, coming back into the room with three bags of ice. He didn't smell of blood. His movements looked normal. "You should have strapped me down."

"What am I supposed to do? I doubt duct taping your arm to the wall would work.... Ooooh! You! When I fix up that wire, I'll have you hold down your own arm."

"I sent you into a wall, and you'd trust me not to do it again?"

"Yeah?" I shrugged, seeing no problem with it.

"How blind can you be!? I can't control myself half the time! This...! This arm.... It's stronger than me."

I grabbed onto his hand, and still, he flinched. "If this was on purpose, this would be going down very differently. And I don't doubt the arm could send me through a few walls. But this wasn't on purpose and I don't have broken bones. It's all good."

I had to tilt my head at an odd angle to chase his eyes. He refused to make any eye contact, staring at different spots in the carpet whenever my face got in the way. When he squeezed his eyes shut, I shook his hand a little.

"This was an accident, Bucky. So we'll learn and adapt. Simple. A little time to understand the generator and I'll have precautions figured out. Not entirely a reckless, dumb idiot. And I'm not the only half blind one here. We see things a little differently."

Bucky finally opened his eyes and I smiled softly. From how his features contorted, that conscience of his was absolutely vicious.

He sighed heavily, settling down on the very edge of the bed. Any closer to the edge, he'd probably slide right off. He swung his head a little, motioning for me to get off my feet.

"Look at you," he grumbled, hesitantly taking an arm of mine to check over. "You're black and blue because of me."

Maybe I should have adopted his style of long sleeved everything, as much as I hate the idea of wearing so much.

"Pretty sure I'd probably be missing chunks of myself if I hadn't met you," I countered. "Gramps is missing a couple of toes from not cooperating. I almost got my ear completely cut off. I don't know about you. But this over that any day. Cut yourself some slack, Bucky."

"If I'm around, you're not going to heal. I'm only putting you in danger."

When he turned to leave, I latched onto his hand again. But this time it was his left. The metal unyielding between my fingers. I tugged back when he tried to ease out of my grip. His fingers twitched just the slightest. His whole body went rigid. But it wasn't from his arm shocking him, I would have felt that.

"If..." I started, feeling my voice crack. "If I leave first, I'll tell you.... If you leave first, you'll tell me...? We still have that deal?"

Bucky gave a curt nod, and I had no choice but to let go. He slipped out of the room, and I had to trust that he'd keep his word. That I wouldn't wake up alone, not knowing what happened to him.

"He's locked himself in his bathroom if you're worried."

I nodded with a shaky exhale.

"I... I shall let you know if his levels indicate injuries...."

"Th-thanks."

Before any emotions about the whole accident could set in, I grabbed the ice packs and duct tape to have the bags stick to the proper spots for when I dove back into the rabbit hole of research.

Hopefully, everything had been digitized. It'd take some time to sift through about three decade's worth of scribbles. Long enough to distract me from everything else.

"Let's get down to work. Pull up Gramps' notes on the thingies, please and thank you."

"The word is generators. Use your English. It's the only language you know."

I flipped her the bird and regretted the movement.

Bucky needed space.

I respected that, so I'll back off. For a few hours.

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Author's Note:

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