DEDICATED TO: My father and my brother, Rhitam

"Destiny- an incomplete road that builds itself gradually with each moment that you live."

-Elegiac_Damsel

______

June 2017

Third person's point of view:

Destiny is something utterly unpredictable.

In the same way, one can never judge at first glance which seed would eventually come to fruition, the proud and strong trees that stand tall can never know which storm would eventually strip them of their regal throne. The direction of wind never remains static; it is always the bird who has to change the course of its flight.

 And then there are moments that equal uncontrolled and unexpected explosions that shake things right to their foundation. Barun's words came down with an intensity that utterly jeopardized the peace that had earlier been a constant in Mrinalini's life.

"We want to get Mini married before we leave the country." 

Mrinalini couldn't have envisaged this situation even in the worst of all nightmares. Get married? She didn't find it in herself to react. Her mind went blank, it was almost like the words had never reached her ears. 

"She is just 21, Baba! How can you even think of this?" Abhrajit's enraged voice snapped her back to reality.

"You stay out of this. It is our responsibility; particularly mine, to get her married. I have brought her up as my daughter. She must be married off before we relocate so that we can be assured about her future," Barun stated firmly.

"What do you mean by 'assured about her future'? How can you decide her future, Baba? She is too young. You cannot just push her into something like this! You never discussed any of this with me!" his son retorted, malice and anger dripping off his voice.

Srishti could see that her son wasn't too happy with his father's abrupt decision, he just wasn't thinking though! She went and put her hand on his shoulder, as an ode to calm him.

"Son, she is 21. I was married to your father when I was 22. Her mother was married at an even younger age- 18. She is mature enough and I think you know very well that your father and I love her a lot. We are not going to take any decision which would negatively affect her life."

"She doesn't want to get married! Why does she need to get married before we relocate anyway?"

Brindadebi expressed her views, "What will you do with Rai and me? You may get Mini married, but you cannot get rid of us like that!"

"Ma, we are not getting rid of her. Why are you misinterpreting my words?" Barun asked his mother.

"It sure seems that way, Baba! You cannot do this to her!" Abhrajit interrupted.

"What are we doing to her, son? Why are you speaking to your father so rudely? She may be your sister; your cousin, but your father is her legal guardian!" Srishti spoke to her son, decisively.

"Don't sound so incredulous Ma! You know exactly what you are doing. You are paving a path into a sad future for her; one that would destroy her." 

"We are not suggesting anything like that. Don't put words in my mouth," Barun answered his son.

To any outsider, it would seem like the family members were fighting with one another over the division of property, but no one would be able to guess that it was the future of the family's daughter which was being discussed with so much vigour and agitation. 

 Mrinalini and Rai were silent spectators to all that was unfolding in front of them. The former had been shaken to the core and rendered speechless while the latter practically had no say in all these matters. 

"Bonu(little sister), why aren't you saying anything?" Abhrajit asked Mrinalini after another round of arguments with his father. His sister's silence was deafening.

"Jethu (Uncle), I want to complete my post-graduation first," she stated in an almost inaudibly quiet voice. Her eyes were glossy as she lifted her gaze to meet her Uncle's.

...

15th August 2017

Mrinalini's point of view:

The mirror in the room reflected a bride. 

Her forehead had been dotted with sandalwood paste and a red bindi (dot) nestled delicately in between her eyebrows. Her eyes were kohl-lined and her lips had been darkened with red lipstick. Her complexion had been enhanced using compact and her eyes had been accentuated using eyeliner. A red and golden Benarasi sari had been draped around her beautifully. A red netted veil rested on the perfected bun that had a string of jasmine flowers coiled around itself. 

 She looked mature. She looked like she was prepared for the world. I looked like I was prepared for the world. I looked bigger than my age. I looked like any other Bengali bride on her wedding day. 

I had not been given jewellery to wear till now. Ma told me that she would get me my ornaments just before the commencement of the rituals. My hair had been brushed carefully before being pulled into a bun. I have brushed my hair this way several times, but that one perceptible difference was that the parting was dead centre and had never seemed so bare and empty as it appeared now. It would be filled with vermilion by the time evening paves the way to the night. 

I was observing my reflection in the mirror carefully, trying to figure out what makes a normal girl and a bride different from one another. Is it the attire? Is it the jewellery that she was required to wear? Is it the Alta (red lac dye) on her hands and feet? Or is it the fact that she would have to take up the responsibility of another household? Is a bride different because of the coral and conch bangles on her wrists? Is a bride different because her name eventually changes? Or is it because she is simply unable to comprehend the gravitas of marriage from a distance?

"You look beautiful, bonu( little sister)." I heard my brother's voice speak from behind me. I didn't turn, our eyes met through our reflection in the mirror.

"I would have preferred calling you a beautiful bride a few years later though," he said wistfully.

I smiled at him as he came closer, "Thank you Dadabhai."

"I couldn't bring myself to be a part of the festivities. I can't believe you are being married against your will." he thundered. He has been calm all this while, but I know him well enough to know that a volcano is practically bubbling inside him, simply waiting to erupt.

"It is not forced marriage, Dadabhai. I am not being married against my will. Moreover, the groom is someone I chose to marry," I corrected him.

"Right. This isn't a marriage you have been forced into, it is more like a marriage you have been coaxed into. And the bridegroom is surely someone you have chosen out of all the other choices my father gave you. He isn't someone you chose autonomously." 

"Dadabhai, this is what God wants. This is my destiny and I choose to accept it. I chose that man because... because I liked him," I told him firmly.

I heard him inhale sharply as his hand found its way to my shoulder. I lifted my gaze only to see him looking at me straight through our reflection. He gulped once before squeezing my shoulder, apologetically.

"I am sorry I couldn't stand up for you. I am sorry because you have to give up on your dreams because of my goals," he whispered into the void.

I sighed. Why is he blaming himself when he is not at fault? But then, the reason is partially right.

I stood up from my seat and turned to face him. Resting my head against his shoulder, within his embrace made me reminisce about our childhood. The moments when he would take me in his arms and stop me from crying. And today, he is the one almost on the verge of tears. I don't know how I can not make him feel guilty.

"Dadabhai, I am not giving up on my dreams so easily. I am your lotus, right? I need all this muck and mud to grow! Speaking about sacrifice, you and I both know that I am not the first woman to do this and certainly not the last. Jethu and Jethima (Aunt) are simply doing this so that they can stay close to you. You know that Mrs Banerjee lives all alone. Her son doesn't care about her and now that she has lost her husband, she has been rendered alone. Your parents want to go with you because they are afraid of losing you. They don't want to face what Mrs Banerjee is facing today. Dadabhai, do me a favour. If you think I am sacrificing for you, then please do regard this sacrifice by never giving upon them."

Dadabhai gulped audibly and pushed me slightly. He took my hand and opened my palm. Reaching out into the pocket of his kurta, he took out what looked like a box of pills and placed it on my palm.

I read the label, astounded, "These are contraceptives! Are you in your right senses?"

He rubbed his nape in response, "I know this is odd given the fact that I am your brother, but I simply had to get this for you. I have 11 more boxes for one entire year that I'll put in your suitcase before you leave. You and I are both adults, bonu. We know what marriage means. You are getting married today, but you still have the chance to pursue higher education like you want to.  I don't want you to get entangled in the web of domestic obligations and familial commitment so soon. Promise me that you will take these pills every day for at least 5 years more. Promise me that you will buy these for yourself for 4 years after these get exhausted. Promise me that you will not give up so easily. Promise me, Lotus." 

I nodded and for some reason, it utterly overwhelmed me. I crashed against his chest and tears made their way through my closed eyelids as I whispered, "Promise Dadabhai. I love you and I am going to miss you so much, Dadabhai. I'll miss you so much."

...

I am still in my room sitting quietly. Thamma was sitting across the room and was mumbling what sounded like prayers. Seeing her here with me makes me less anxious. I had asked her so many times about her marriage and Dadai (grandfather). Theirs had been an arranged marriage like mine, but unlike me, she had never been asked for approval.

"Thamma, how old were you when you got married?" I heard myself ask her, although I knew the answer to the question

"I was married at 13."

I nodded in response and my mind simply floated back to the day my Uncle had proposed my marriage. I couldn't decide who destiny had been crueller to. Thamma had practically been denied a normal childhood and in my case, a 'no entry' sign had abruptly stopped me from moving ahead in my path. 

Flashback:

June 2017

"Jethu (Uncle), I want to complete my post-graduation first."

"You know that we cannot wait that long. You need 3 more years to complete your masters and Abhrajit needs to report to the U.K. by August end. We want to shift there with him permanently," Jethu said in response.

"But what about my education? Dadabhai is going for his doctorate whereas I don't even get to do my post-graduation? How is this fair Jethu? Jethima? Thamma? Ma?" I asked them all, tears welling up at the prospect of giving up on everything.

"Mini! Don't speak to your uncle like that! He is the one who has practically fed you, clothed you, and raised you. Had it not been for him, you and I would be on the streets!" Ma intervened.

I snapped at her, my eyes flashing, "He has sheltered you and me. He has paid for my schooling and college. He has fed me, he has done all that a father does. He has done all that my father would do had he been alive! You tell me, Ma, would Baba do this to me? Would he give up on his daughter to educate his son?"

"How can you accuse your Uncle of giving up on you, Mini?  Wouldn't your father also marry you off at some point? How ungrateful can you be!" Jethima thundered at me.

I couldn't help it any longer. I burst into tears and ran away from the living room and locked myself inside my room. Between my sobs, I could hear intermittent voices discussing something. I didn't hear it all or perhaps I just couldn't assimilate the words. The last thing that I heard was Jethu's voice telling Ma, "Speak to your daughter, Rai. We are leaving it to you. It is now totally up to you to get her to understand everything."

...

15th August 2017

It has been 3 days since my 21st birthday on the 12th. The celebrations had been a bit subdued because of the wedding preparations, but Dadabhai had taken me out much against the wishes of everyone else and I had got the opportunity of meeting my friends and (finally!) his girlfriend. 

It is Independence Day today and the Bengali month of Shrabon is in its last week. My wedding has been fixed at such short notice because Dadabhai is supposed to report to the United Kingdom next week. Jethu and Jethima plan to shift there sometime in the first week of September after settling the deal with the house. The month of Shrabon is the last auspicious month for weddings before the regular wedding season commences in mid-November. 

Sitting on my bed in my room, I can hear a conch shell being blown and the chatter and cheers from my college friends confirm that the bridegroom is here. Perhaps, Ma has gone there to welcome him ceremoniously, or so I assume.

"Mini, your veil is not in its place. Let me adjust it properly for you... Wait a minute! What are you trying to see outside?" I heard Ma call out when I tried to peek out of the window to see what was going on.

I turned towards her, shocked and surprised at her presence in my room at a time when her son-in-law had to be welcomed by her, "Ma, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be there for the boron( a traditional welcome ceremony)"?

She smiled at me and beckoned me to come closer. When I reached her, she pulled me into an embrace and I heard her say, "You look so beautiful, baby. I wish your father had been here."

I couldn't help but tear up at the mention of Baba's name. I wish he had been here tonight to wipe my tears and Ma's. She held me in her arms for a few minutes, the two of us lost in our thoughts. 

After a while, she pushed back and kissed the top of my head, "Come, we need to adjust the veil and you need to wear your jewellery now. The bridegroom's here. Your brother will be here soon to take you to the altar."

I was reminded of my unanswered question when Ma mentioned the bridegroom. Why was she here?

"Ma, you didn't tell me why you are here and not there. You should have been there for welcoming your son-in-law," I told her.

She shifted uncomfortably before saying, "I am a widow, child. Widows aren't supposed to take part in auspicious gatherings. I cannot perform the boron. Moreover, your aunt is older than me and she is like your mother. She has all the right to perform all the wedding rituals."

I stood there, shocked at her answer, "You are the woman who has given me birth! You are the one who has nursed my wounds when I got hurt. You are my mother, Ma. It is your right to perform all the wedding rituals for your daughter. And Ma, why is being a widow a factor? What will happen if a widow participates in an auspicious occasion? Will I be widowed early...."

Ma cut me off in between, "Dare you to complete that sentence, Mini. It is your wedding today and the last thing I am going to tolerate from you is insolence. Stop saying inauspicious things."

"Ma, I..." I began speaking, only to be stopped by her.

"Come here now and I'll help you with the jewellery," she told me firmly, leaving no space for any kind of argument.

...

To be continued...

PUBLISHED ON: 26th May 2020

Author's Note:

Firstly, I hope all of you are doing well. My prayers are especially with all those affected by Cyclone Amphan. I hope things turn out to be better for all of you soon.

I would like to thank all those who have given this story a chance. I am humbled by the support and encouragement that you readers relentlessly provide me with. This is my first attempt at writing something like this and I hope you all are willing to bear with me. It will be a great help if you could share your views with me.

With love,

Shubhadittya

P.S. Like all authors here on Wattpad, I do tend to expect a wee bit from my readers. If you think Mrinalini and I are deserving enough, then please do VOTE, COMMENT, and SHARE.

P.P.S. Please do take care and stay safe everyone.