DEDICATED TO:  Priyadarshini2001 HARINIGANESH8  _sarcasticpanda

  "The bosom I rested my head against, 

the hand I held onto while taking my first steps;

the very same fingers which ran through my hair,

soothing me to fall asleep...

The same hand which patted my back,

to make me burp and digest milk,

the same arms which carried me,

the embrace which kept me warm and strong,

the mother's love that encouraged me to go on.

I see those steady hands trembling today as you help me,

get decked for my wedding.

Your deep eyes are glossy today,

The same voice which comforted me in so many ways,

quivers, as you call me beautiful.

You attempt to hide your pain like you have all these years,

But this time, somehow, you are betrayed by your tears."

-Elegiac_Damsel

_______

15th August 2017

Third person's point of view:

Time is known to be an unfaithful companion; it never waits. 

One can never capture time; time happens to be its own master. But don't all of us come across moments when we crave having command over time? 

For any mother helping her daughter on the day of her wedding, emotions swirl through her mind and she is left thinking when and how the years passed. It is a surreal moment when she is rendered helpless, sad, happy, and excited all at once. 

She reminisces the small baby in her arms who had kept her awake all night with her non-stop crying. She recalls the fancy dress competition at school when she had helped her little girl deck up and in those few minutes that her daughter takes to adorn herself, she wishes she had command over time. She wishes to go back in time so she can hold her daughter to her bosom just for a few seconds more. The mother touches her baby's hair and retrospects with fondness how she would run behind the dynamic child who hated oiling her hair. And the last thought that crosses her mind is the scene at the dining table; her daughter refusing to eat and demanding chocolates in exchange of each morsel of vegetables that she was fed. It's funny how an entire lifetime of memories can be re-lived in those few minutes!

Rai was faced with the same emotional turmoil as she helped her daughter with the jewelry.

 Her hands trembled as she made her daughter wear the gold earrings; the same ones that Meghraj (Mrinalini's father) had gifted his wife, years ago. The long gold necklace that her daughter wore around her neck had been gifted by Barun and Srishti. Given the haste with which the wedding had been fixed, the jewelry that could be arranged for was light and minimal. Mrinalini secretly preferred it to be that way. The necklace around her neck though light, weighed her down as it was a steady reminder of her Uncle's 'charity and kindness'. 

There was one conch and one coral bangle on each wrist and her mother rolled down two thin gold bangles that had originally belonged to Brindadebi. The maang-tikka which now adorned her partition had been artfully pinned in place by Rai. 

"Now, we need a nath (nose-ring)" Rai told herself as she walked to the small bureau in one corner of her room. Lifting an old, red velvet box from the drawer, she held it close to her heart for a few seconds. This was the only piece of jewelry that she had carried from her maiden home which had survived the years to see her daughter's wedding day. She came back to where her Mini was sitting patiently. Lifting the delicately crafted ornament off the cushioned box, she proceeded to adjust it properly on her daughter's nose and pinned the chain securely to her hair.

"This used to belong to my mother. This nose-ring was originally passed on from my paternal grandmother and was meant to be passed on to the daughters-in-law in our family. I got this since I was my father's only daughter. Now, I want my only daughter to have this. I know you haven't met your maternal grandparents; consider this to be their blessing and keep this as a token of my love. Someday, I want you to pass it onto your princess."

Mrinalini nodded her head quietly. The situation itself was so overbearing that she was positive that her voice would crack if she tried to speak.

Once all that was done, Rai adjusted the veil on her daughter's head and tied the thin mukut ( traditional tiara made of a thermocol equivalent)

Pausing to admire her daughter, Rai could practically feel a lump in her throat as she choked out the words, "You look like a complete bride now, Mini. You look so beautiful, sweetheart. My beautiful daughter. My beautiful princess."

Her choice of words was redundant as she was visibly overwhelmed. Mrinalini smiled at her mother, "I know. I am your daughter after all."

"That you are," Rai whispered as she bent to kiss her daughter's forehead

...

Flashback:

June 2017

Mrinalini had locked herself inside her room following the bitter exchange of words and had refused to come out. Abhrajit had tried his level best to convince her to come out and talk to him, but she had not budged. 

Rai had been shaken by her brother-in-law's decision, but then she couldn't do anything about it. As much as her daughter's dreams meant, she couldn't deny the fact that she practically had no power in the household. She was worried about her daughter and her future. Following her husband, Meghraj's demise, Barun had been the one who had taken decisions for her daughter, but this was the last straw that she had not seen coming so soon.

She had been tempted to go after Mini after she had run off, but her brother-in-law had stopped her. Her mother-in-law also seemed shocked and it was quite perceptible that the decision had been taken by Srishti and Barun without consulting anyone else.

"Rai, we won't let your daughter's impulsive behavior affect our decision. We want to shift there with our son and we need to see our daughter settled down before we do so. The house will have to be sold because we need to pay for Abhrajit's education and also our lodgings there." Barun explained

Abhrajit interrupted, "I don't need you to pay for my education if that leaves my sister with the only choice of getting married. I will take a student loan, Baba. Please don't do this to Mini!"

"Keep quiet son! Your father is speaking to your aunt about her daughter. You don't speak another word." Srishti told her son in a warning tone

Huffing in annoyance, Abhrajit simply stomped out of the house after grabbing his bike keys. He needed a break from this chaos. He needed to do something for Mrinalini!

Once Abhrajit had left, Rai was left at the mercy of her brother-in-law and co-sister-in-law. Brindadebi was a mere spectator.

"Rai, you know very well that I am her legal guardian. You know that she will eventually have to be married and that I will have to be the one to marry her off. I am not forbidding your daughter from pursuing higher education after her marriage. In fact, that will be completely her own decision. We simply wish to secure her future and then shift only after we are assured about her." Barun told his younger brother's wife who was now in a complete dilemma

Before she could say anything in reply, she heard Srishti saying, "You know how unpredictable and unreliable everyone around is, nowadays. If we just sell the house and go, it will practically leave you and your daughter homeless. She is educated, no doubt, and will definitely be able to fend for herself as well as you, but aren't you worried about what you may face then? We have kept her protected all these years and now you want to push her into the ruthless world? The newspapers are filled with cases of rape, molestation, murders, and even acid attacks. Would you risk seeing your daughter as a victim? Let us find her a groom, Rai. She'll be better off in her husband's house and I am positive that she will be safe there."

"Stop talking nonsense about my granddaughter! Just because your husband has paid and provided for her all her life, you cannot expect her to be like wax; molding and re-molding herself according to your convenience!" Brindadebi practically screamed at her elder daughter-in-law

Somehow, her mother-in-law's voice failed to reach Rai's ears. She was flabbergasted at Srishti's words. Having seen her fair share of the world around, she began feeling worried; worried for her only daughter. Before anyone else could say anything more, she took a quick decision and expressed her thoughts, "Dada (older brother, Barun), give me some time. I'll speak to Mini myself and let you know."

He nodded approvingly, "Speak to your daughter, Rai. We are leaving it to you. It is now totally up to you to get her to understand everything."

...

15th August 2017

Mrinalini's point of view:

While Ma was adjusting the veil on my head, I saw her wiping her moist eyes. Once she was sated with my looks, she paused to take a long look at my reflection in the mirror. She seems so overwhelmed by all this.

"You look like a complete bride now, Mini. You look so beautiful, sweetheart. My beautiful daughter. My beautiful princess." she choked out

I smiled at her, fighting my own emotions, "I know. I am your daughter after all."

She leaned down to kiss my forehead and murmured in a low voice, "That you are."

It somehow beats me as to why she convinced me to get married now when she isn't really ready to let me go. She hasn't even told me where Thamma and Ma would be going after this house is sold. Whenever I tried to ask her, she would refuse to answer. 

Her only answer would be, "You proceed towards the new life that awaits you. Your mother and grandmother will definitely survive and live to see your children in the years to come."

The 'new life' that she keeps mentioning is so terrifying! I don't know what I should expect. I have met the man I am getting married to, but there's little that we could know about one another given the fact that we have met only once. Ma liked him too, but she is more worried about me because the two of us have no clue how my in-laws are. I know that his father passed away and that he is the eldest of three siblings. I don't know if I will be able to adjust there and I have no clue about what awaits me. I judged him totally based on my observations and his mannerisms; but then will my expectations meet reality?

"Ma, how is it going to be there?" I ask her quietly

She smiled a watery smile at me before answering me, "Time will tell that, baby. I know one thing for sure though, my daughter has been brought up well and I am sure everyone there would love you. Just remember one thing; you must always think twice about what you do and the words you speak. What you say and do, would directly represent me and your upbringing."

I nodded. 

Sitting in front of the mirror today, decked in all bridal finery, I cannot help but fathom that this was officially my last day and last night in this household. It pained me to think that this house and this room would no longer remain 'home' by the end of the night, but then, how was this place home all these years when no one here cared about my dreams?

"Mini," Ma called out to me which brought me out of my unpleasant thoughts. I looked up at her as she continued, "Forgive me for this. Just know one thing, sweetheart, I will never wish anything bad for you. I want you to grow and attain happiness. Promise me that you'll take care of yourself always. Promise your mother, child."

I nodded again, not trusting my voice. She put her arms around me and it was at that moment that I witnessed my mother crying without restraining herself.

...

Flashback:

June 2017

I was distraught, shocked, upset, and felt so betrayed. It had been around 6 hours since I had locked myself in my room. My tears had dried and I had begun writing in my angered and furious state. My diary was filled with scribbles and I had written 'Dr. Mrinalini Debnath' over and over again. 

My head had been throbbing and my throat was parched owing to the tears that I had shed. It must have been around 11 or so at night when I heard a soft knock at the door.

"Dadabhai, please just go away! I am not hungry. I am not angry. I am not upset." I said in reply, without opening the door to see who it was

"Mini, it's Ma, not Dadabhai. Please open the door, sweetheart. I have nowhere else to go to." she told me earnestly

"Go away Ma, I want to be alone for some time," I told her and flopped myself on the bed, pressing my face into the pillow

"Baby, it is nighttime. Your mother will have to sleep in the kitchen if her daughter doesn't let her in. Do you want that? Okay then, I am leaving. Good night Mini."

I rushed to open the door before she could go away. She smiled at me, "I knew my daughter wouldn't leave me like that."

I scoffed at that. She had tricked me!

"Mini, I need to talk to you. Drink some water, wash your face and then come here," she instructed me, quietly

I quickly did as I had been told. 

She was leaning against the headrest of the bed and waiting for me when I came. I laid my head on her lap and waited for her to speak. Ma's fingers ran through my head soothingly and I snuggled closer to her, feeling comforted.

"Now, I speak and you listen. Okay?" she asked me

I nodded my head obediently and she caressed my cheek lovingly.

"Your Uncle and Aunt want to accompany Abhrajit because they don't want to lose him during their old age. They want to sell this home and go because they have to pay for his education and living there. Your Uncle and Aunt love you, sweetheart. It is not like your uncle wants to stop you from doing all that you want to. His blessings would always be there with you. You will have to marry someday, child. He wants you to do all that you want, with your husband by your side. He is aging and if they shift to the United Kingdom, they cannot be there for you. Your aunt and uncle are not forcing you into this. You have the complete liberty of choosing your groom..."

I couldn't listen more. I simply had to interrupt, "I don't want to choose a groom! I don't want to marry now! Maybe later.... but not now, Ma!"

She sighed in reply, "I asked you to listen, child. Why don't you understand their point of view once? They will not be able to afford the cost of your education and Abhrajit's at the same time. You will have to get married someday; your Uncle will be the one to pay for all that. Your mother isn't capable of giving you what you want! Listen to him and select someone who'll be there with you for fulfilling your dreams."

"Ma, can Uncle not give me the money that he is going to spend for my wedding? I can arrange for someplace for you, me, and Thamma to live in. I'll take up a part-time job and use the rest to pay my college fees. Please talk to him once, Ma!" I begged her

She shook her head and looked at me straight at my eyes, "I don't want you to do that. Why don't you understand this, Mini? I have no financial strength or power... I am practically impuissant. I literally eat the same food that they put on my plate. How can I ask them of this? Your uncle has always made important decisions for you. He was the one who encouraged you to take up Science when your aunt refused. He is the fatherly figure in your life. He doesn't wish for anything that will give you pain. You get that?"

"He isn't my father, Ma!" I protested

"But he is the one who has brought you up as one. Mini, no one will marry you later without a fatherly figure to marry you off. This has always been the truth in our society. I do not have the ability or the resources to give you the life you have desired! I can't even afford a single piece of jewelry for your wedding! I am helpless, Mini! I already feel guilty because I haven't been able to give you anything on my own. Don't make me live in this debt and guilt all my life! Listen to your Uncle once... Please, baby. They are not doing this to bring you unhappiness. Sweetheart, please consider everything once. Let them go where they want to, without stressing and worrying about you. You are their responsibility, the same way as you are mine. Please baby."

Her words made me tear up. Was I standing as an obstruction in their path? Would they no longer bother about me if I got married? Was I some load that they wanted to be relieved of?

"You are too naive, Ma. They simply want me to get married so that they can forget about me and you completely. They will leave you to fend for yourself. Why are unable to understand their motive, Ma? They want me to get married now so that they don't have to pay twice. They don't want to pay for my post-graduation because someday or the other, I would have to leave this house anyway and hence won't be of any use. They want to go with Dadabhai and leave everything here because he is their asset. I am simply a liability! Why are you so naive and ignorant, Ma?"

She smiled sadly at my question, "Decipher it all however you want, but you don't get to call me, your mother naive, Mini. Your mother may not have seen the world by working in offices and earning, but she has seen a lot while she was sweating due to the heat of the kitchen fire. I am neither naive nor ignorant, Mini. It is just that I have seen a part of the world that I wouldn't want you to come across."

I was stunned into silence for a few seconds after which I found my voice back, "What will happen to you and Thamma after all this?"

"As long as you find happiness, your grandmother and I would always find means of survival."

...

15th August 2017

I was brought back to the present by Dadabhai's voice, "Bonu, it is time."

I got up from my seat and Ma readjusted the veil and kissed my forehead. Dadabhai placed the pidi (a low stool without legs) in front of me and waited for me to sit on it. Ma handed me the betel leaves that I would have to cover my face and eyes with and I clutched them tightly.

I was lifted by my brother and a boy from the neighborhood, to be carried to the wedding altar. My hand instinctively went around Dadabhai's shoulder as they took me towards my future... towards what destiny had in store, for me.

...

 To be continued...

PUBLISHED ON: 29th May 2020

Author's note:

Hello everyone!

I hope you are well and safe from Corona Virus.

I pray that the situation in West Bengal, Odisha, and Bangladesh normalizes soon. I pray that the forest fires in Uttarakhand are brought under control soon. 

Take care of yourselves and your families! Stay safe.

With love,

Shubhadittya

P.S. If you have the time, then please do let me know what you think about the plot