Dedicated to two women in my life who've always been special:
To my aunts, Riya Mami and my Manti (Mashi) for love, friendship, and more❤️
Your lives and the struggles I have seen you guys through has helped me strengthen my resolve as an individual. You are both important and special to me and I am immensely grateful to have you in my life

"Is serendipity something that you desire in life?
Or is it the mere definition of spontaneity we learn
to embrace with time?
Does the surprise that brings a smile to your face
fulfil your heart and win over your conscience,

or do you often contemplate, what if it had been different?
What had been written in Destiny

crumbles the carefully laid out plans, inevitably...
Perhaps we are left to wonder when alone at night,
If only things had been as planned,
what could have happened in life?
The lingering despondency masked by the momentary bliss,
An unexpected turn that descended upon you,
conflicting through your veins, to be happy at the unforeseen,
or to grieve over what could have been?
Serendipity gives rise to so much in us.
We may not know it today, but isn't it worth thinking about...
Perhaps someday, when the sun sets for us one last time,
We'll know that each moment that we lived through,
though transient and unpredictable,
had a meaning that goes beyond reason,
farther into the void that leaves us to introspect...
Did life turn out to be what we had envisioned?
Or was it all an illusion that we desperately sought to change?
Perhaps we'll never know as mere mortals,
But each moment's a question that no one can anticipate and guess...
There's darkness where there's no light,
And yet it is at night that the stars twinkle bright...
The moon shines down upon the world
as silence descends, ominous and sad.
What awaits at dawn is still a mystery,
If only one could predict or understand life's bemusing obscurity."\

-Elegiac_Damsel
_________

Third person's point of view:

21st April

Dawning as a calm and hot summer day in the City of Joy with forecasts warning of sporadic showers, known as the Kalbaishakhi thunderstorm that greets India annually, shortly after Bengal celebrates regional New Year or Nabobarsho on the 1st day of the month of Baishakh that falls around mid-April. 

It was a special day for Mrinalini, and as she awoke early, she could feel a rush of adrenaline scouring through her body. Today was the day she would present her Master's thesis defence. A day she had worked too hard for, I had her quivering with anticipation. After countless sleepless nights with scores and scores of research papers to scrounge through, she was finally going to present the research that she had done on organic lethal poisons that can be destructive weapons unbeknownst to humankind. The naive interest born out of the numerous crime novels and thrillers she had read as a child, combined with the shows and documentaries, had manifested into a passion for a subject that many others found painful and difficult.

She sipped the coffee she had brewed herself as she watched the sun rise over the buildings, paving the way for a day that was special and important to her. 

"Good morning, Mrinal," she heard Debarghya's groggy voice, more profound than his usual timbre, greeting her as he entered the kitchen. "Good morning, Arghus. Why are you up so early?" she asked him, turning to look at him as he grabbed a water bottle off the counter. "I heard you leave the room after taking a bath. Moreover, the sunlight seeping through the window was too intense to let me sleep."

"Would you like some tea?" Mrinalini asked him softly, holding up her mug of coffee. "I'm good," he replied, smiling. "Are you all set for today?"

"I am," she mused pensively. I am just a little nervous. There will be an external coming over, too. While I am reasonably confident, I am just unsure and worried about any anomaly or error in any data I have included in my research. I tried to be as meticulous as I could be, but with the vast amount of research that has been done in the field, it is quite possible that I overlooked something or perhaps made an error."

"You need to give yourself a break, Mrinal," Debarghya replied, shaking his head. "You've researched a certain dataset with a few designated referral papers. Focus just on that. Perfect research doesn't exist, and we wouldn't require optimisation or improvement. You've done your part well. Just be sure of yourself."

"Thank you, Debarghya," Mrinalini replied, grateful for his encouragement. "I sincerely hope that it goes in my favour."

...

"How did it go, Mrinalini?" Satarup and Shruti asked as she stepped out of the conference hall, having presented her paper and corresponding defence. "It went alright," she replied, suppressing her urge to jump around excitedly, exuberant that she had completed the final requirement to grant her Master's degree. She had presented an impressive report with detailed statistics and case studies that had garnered subtle praise from the otherwise detached and disinterested, strict external evaluator who had bombarded with questions, hoping to catch her unaware. However, Mrinalini's fastidious preparation and incessant efforts had managed to conquer the curveballs that had been thrown her way, and she had exited the conference hall confident that her hard work had indeed borne fruit. God willing, the thesis that she had written would soon be published, mapping the way for her career ahead.

"It's done then, isn't it?" Shruti mused thoughtfully, bringing back Mrinalini's attention to her friends and their conversation. "We'll meet back here in a few more months to collect our degree certificates. God knows if we'll ever meet again. You guys will keep in touch, won't you?"

Mrinalini laughed at her friend's sudden emotionally saturated line of thought. "You know that we can't predict what we'll do in the future, standing herein, don't you? While the realist in me is aware that we'll probably drift apart with time and distance, the optimistic part of me sincerely believes that we'll probably be keeping in touch till we can help it. Till our lives and schedules catch up with us, we'll hopefully be able to remain friends."

"You promise that?" Shruti asked with a sniffle. "Of course we do, you idiot," Satarup replied, pulling her into a hug. Mrinalini joined in with their classmates, Barnali and Dipanjan, who were soon coming close and joining the huddle. 

This marked an important milestone in the students' lives: vague promises, boundless dreams, an uncertain future, and a heavy heart at the inevitable junction that life had brought them to as their paths diverged. The sun was close to setting at the horizon, looking on as the last rays shone upon them, warming their hearts, leaving their eyes misty with longing and retrospect.

...

15th May

It was the peak of summer at the City of Joy. Humid showers graced the city sporadically, providing a temporary respite to the parched throats of people. The sun shone with all its might throughout most of the day, causing perspiration and fatigue to be constants in the daily schedule of the residents of Kolkata. Students with more than a month-long summer vacation were compelled to stay indoors instead of enjoying outdoor sports, given the inhumane heat that made it impossible for the ones with the strongest resolve and tolerance to survive without complaining. 

Mrinalini had recently started an internship at the Central Forensic Sciences Laboratory in Park Circus. Although CFSL Kolkata was better renowned for Biological Sciences rather than Chemical Sciences, unlike CFSL Hyderabad, she was delighted to be accepted to gather further experience, especially concerning toxicology cases that perked her interest and gave her relevant exposure to her field of research of poisons and toxins. The heat was unbearable even during the first half of the day when she and Debarghya left home together at around 9 am. They would both take the metro to their respective workplaces, parting ways at the Shyambazar metro station, bidding goodbye to one another and going about their days amongst the thousands of commuters that crowded the oldest underground metro in India. Armed with her bag containing her belongings, which included a new laptop that Debarghya had gifted her upon completing her Master's degree, she also carried a chilled thermos containing some homemade ORS that she also insisted Debarghya carry. 

"It is important to be hydrated in this humid heat, Debarghya," she had told him firmly. "You have a field job. I don't think you want to have a heatstroke."

"But, Mrinal, I have a job in the field. The thermos will add to my burden," he had argued. Mrinalini had promptly emptied his bag of the portable lighter and a pack of cigarettes that never seemed to miss accompanying him anywhere. "If these can go with you, so will the ORS," she had informed him, leaving no room for argument.

Their marriage had been working its way eventually, finding a path as the stream coursed through the hills and valleys of a tumultuous relationship that matrimony embodied. Despite being married for almost three years now, Mrinalini had been unable to make Debarghya quit smoking entirely. Sure that the pack of cigarettes he had smoked each day now lasted a week, she was still praying and hoping for him to let go of this vulnerability that could attract the shadow of a deadly disease that everyone feared and few conquered.

Recently, however, Mrinalini found herself facing health issues herself, especially concerning her menstrual cycle and overall hormonal health, which left her stressed. While she had been taking self-prescribed oral contraceptives for almost two years now, she had had an average menstrual period every month. Of late, though, she had been experiencing severe bloating and heavy bleeding accompanied by high blood pressure and an increased pulse. She had even fallen unconscious once during her work day at CFSL due to a sudden fall in her blood glucose levels. 

Having attributed this initially to her stressful day and the immense heat, she had overlooked the symptoms, pushing herself further into a state of no return. She underwent some blood tests that indicated an early alarm bell of a dangerously compromised endocrinal system. Although Mrinalini and Debarghya had been married for three years, she had been initially reluctant to discuss the problems that she had been facing with something as intimate and personal as her menstrual cycle. Moreover, the societal taboo associated with the subject had added to her inhibitions.

Gathering some of her pragmatic outlooks, she viewed the situation as a biochemical problem that needed treatment. She shared the reports with Debarghya, seeking his opinion and subsequent help to overcome what she was facing. 

"Why didn't you tell me any of this earlier, Mrinal?" he asked her, horrified at the reports that highlighted so much, ranging from low haemoglobin, indicative of anaemia, to low blood glucose levels and heightened insulin. While Mrinalini had never been too lean or thin and had always had a typical Indian curvaceous body attributed to a heavy bosom and curved midriff, she had never gained weight the way she had in the past few months. 

After carefully analysing her blood reports, Debarghya concluded, "I'll make you an appointment with a gynaecologist and maybe even an endocrinologist."

Mrinalini nodded sheepishly, understanding the gravity of the situation. Hormones are chemicals that keep the human body stable, and she was all too familiar with them, but to experience her body barely managing to maintain equilibrium was devastating. 

She had cried her eyes out despite Debarghya's reasoning and affectionate reassurances. "It's just a few hormones, Mrinal. A few medicines and a good diet, and you'll be alright. Why are you crying like a baby? Don't worry. It's going to be okay."

"Will you accompany me to the doctor's?" she had asked, reluctantly letting go of him and wiping her tears furiously. "I don't like doctors."

Debarghya laughed. His job profile consisted of meeting doctors daily, explaining the pharmaceutical products his organisation manufactured and endorsed, hoping to convince them to prescribe the same to their patients instead of other brand equivalents. "Don't be a child, Mrinal," he coaxed her gently. "I won't be in town this week. You know I need to go on a tour of Odisha, right? I'll make you an appointment with a doctor I know. Can you please be a good girl and go by yourself? It's important for your health's sake."

"Okay," she had conceded, fighting the urge to cry again. How could she explain to him that it wasn't about her being able to manage to go to the doctor's but about the fact that she felt lonely without him, especially when her mind and body were both vulnerable?

"And take it easy, will you?" he chided. "You don't need to go to work and then return and cook food every day. We can hire someone to do it once a day."

Mrinalini had nodded, dismissing him. "Let's curtail that till I cannot manage physically. Hiring someone is always an option, Debarghya, but that will add to our expenses. We are both working hard each day to build our future and to earn and save."

"To enjoy the future that we are struggling to build, it is important to survive before saving, Mrinal," he had replied pensively. Mrinalini rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

...

"Mrs Acharya, how much do you understand from the blood reports?" Dr Namita Mitra asked Mrinalini. A reputed senior gynaecologist whom Debarghya had known for years in his pharmaceutical sales profession, Dr Mitra had her private chamber near Newtown. With greying hair and a kind but stern face, she strangely reminded Mrinalini of the strict nuns who had taught her in her convent school. 

"I do understand the indications of the blood reports, doctor," she replied sheepishly. "I am a student of chemistry."

"Seeing that you understand, let me lay a few ground rules for you. Starting with the fact that you are going to be off oral contraceptives for the foreseeable future unless it is prescribed. It would be best if you also took some medicines to regulate your menstrual cycle. Do you have a regular conjugal life?"

Mrinalini nodded, blushing furiously. "I am given to understand that you've been married for three years, so I also must brief you about family planning. I don't know if you and your husband are planning for a baby, but given the fragile state of your endocrine system, I would strongly recommend against that till you recover."

"Will this treatment be extensive and too long, doctor?" she asked Dr. Mitra, concern and dread apparent in her features. I will still be able to continue with everything normally, right?"

"The treatment won't be extensive, my dear, but it would be slow if you have a comprehensive schedule that meddles with your mental and physical health. Try to delegate some housework, at the very least. You must undertake professional commitments but try to cut down on some of the strenuous work for your body. Restrict anything in your diet that is too sweet. While your blood glucose levels are undoubtedly low, eating sweets won't bring that up, unlike most people believe. However, given that you are educated in this field, I hope you know better."

"Your conjugal life can continue normally," she continued. "Substitute birth control with protection and refrain from taking any pills that concern your reproductive system directly or indirectly, including any Plan B medication. I am prescribing you some medicines to help with the hormonal levels. Regarding your anaemia, take some Dexorange daily and increase your iron intake. I'll see you in two weeks after you've redone these tests. Contact me in case of any emergency, including heavy and unexpected bleeding, and please discontinue ingesting any medicine if that causes an allergic reaction. Do you have any questions?"

"Not really, doctor," Mrinalini replied politely, smiling. Thank you for your time."

"Your husband's an incredibly dedicated individual," Dr Mitra remarked, smiling fondly. "It's been a pleasure to know him since he started his career. Nothing's too complicated, my dear. Just take good care of yourself."

Smiling, Mrinalini had taken her leave, clutching the prescription that the doctor had given her. Stopping by the pharmacy on her way home, she bought single strips of each medicine, grimacing at the final bill, sighing defeatedly.  

...

"What did the doctor prescribe, Mrinal? Did you take your medication tonight?" Debarghya asked over a video call, watching Mrinalini as she made the bed, keeping the phone propped against the headboard. 

"I will share a snap of the prescription," she replied. "As for your second question, I just took the medicines. I have also eaten healthy. Your mother insisted that I drink pomegranate juice earlier during the day, and for dinner, she had some sliced beetroot waiting for me."

Debarghya chuckled. "Is that a complaint or a compliment? Is Ma taking care of you or harassing you?"

"Honestly, I just hate having to be taken care of, and I hate medicines and doctors," she continued to complain. "Ma is trying to take care of me, but I don't like this, Debarghya. I don't want to be coddled or treated like an invalid."

"Don't overthink it, Mrinal," Debarghya sighed. "You are unwell right now. We are around to help. Isn't that what a family is supposed to do?"

"I suppose you are right, but it's still overwhelming. Anyway, did you eat dinner? I had packed a protein bar for you in your laptop bag. Please eat it on the go if there isn't time for a proper meal. And Odisha has brutal weather, so please stay hydrated."

Debarghya laughed. "Go to sleep, Mrinal. I'll be alright. Take care of yourself. Good night."

"Good night," she replied softly. Turning off the light as she settled into bed, ready to fall deep into the oblivious world of void and darkness, she smiled, counting her blessings.

...

7th August 

Monsoons rained havoc across the country, and the City of Joy thrived with the respite that the heavenly showers brought to the parched earth. Starting in July, Mrinalini joined CFSL as a probationary employee. With her 24th birthday fast approaching, followed by their third wedding anniversary, she was still in a dilemma regarding the future and the path she would ultimately choose for her career. While looking forward to completing her PhD soon, she had yet to decide if it would be best to enrol for her PhD immediately or to gather some hands-on experience in the laboratory before heading nose-deep into research.

Even with the uncertainty that kept her awake at night, the future welcomed her with a smile. With her birthday on a Friday and their wedding anniversary coinciding with Independence Day on a Monday, Debarghya had planned a surprise long weekend getaway to a resort in the neighbouring district of Kolkata. He had called in a favour with one of his friends who managed the resort, who had graciously offered discount coupons. 

"We are going out for our anniversary?" Mrinalini had squealed in happiness when she had heard of the plans. "Where are we going? Is it near where Ma and Thamma stay? Can we meet them?"

Debarghya had chuckled at her excitement, nodding affirmatively. "We won't exactly be staying there, but it is close by enough for us to go over to meet them."

"Ma will be accompanying us, right?" Mrinalini had immediately asked about her mother-in-law. "Every time there's a long weekend or a holiday, she just goes over to stay with Brishti di and her son or your aunts. Maybe she'll finally want to accompany us for once."

Debjani agreed to accompany her son and daughter-in-law. Despite the difficulty she faced with mobility, she did miss going out and was happy to do so occasionally. 

"Mrinal, did you speak to your boss regarding leave on the 12th?" Debarghya's voice snapped Mrinalini out of the stupor she had led herself into while cooking dinner. "I got my leave for that day approved earlier in the evening. We will be leaving in the morning of your birthday."

"I spoke to Dr Nandi," Mrinalini replied. "He said that many people were going on leave already because of the long weekend but that I can consider the leave approved unless there's some urgent case or something that comes up."

"Let's pray there isn't anything that comes up," Debarghya murmured. "Anyway, did you speak to your mother and grandmother? Can they come over to where we're staying? That way, they can also spend the entire weekend with us instead of us going over for one meagre meal. You can have more time with them, and I am sure it would be a welcome break for them, too."

"Ma is a bit hesitant," Mrinalini replied, flipping the flatbread she had made on the flat iron skillet. "She thinks she'll intrude on our private time, but my grandmother shut her up. She said we could have our privacy later but that she hadn't seen me in months and that spending time with her was more important. And, of course, there was that customary emotional line of how she doesn't know if this will be the last time she sees us."

"Typical grandmas," Debarghya replied, shaking his head. "You'll be able to manage all the packing and travel arrangements, right? I won't be here from tomorrow until Thursday."

"I will, Debarghya," Mrinalini replied, rolling her eyes. "Did you finish packing for your tour? Do you need any help?"

"I came by to ask if you had any idea where my navy blue shirt and black boxers are," Debarghya replied sheepishly, rubbing his nape. "I'll get that for you in five minutes," Mrinalini said, stirring the vessel of lentils that was boiling away on the stove.

"I also can't find my socks," his voice trailed off.

...

12th August

It was Mrinalini's 24th birthday. Debarghya had returned home the previous evening from his tour, and they had both immediately started ticking off their checklist for their three-day getaway. Relieved with the arrangements made, with their bags packed and a cab booked, they rang in her birthday at midnight with a small cake. Anumegha had come over with her son for the night. She would leave in the morning shortly after the others left. 

Mrinalini received six books from her family as gifts: two from her sister-in-law, one from Debrishi, who had sent it via courier, and three from Debarghya. Debjani gave her some cash enclosed in a special envelope and asked her to spend the amount on whatever she desired. 

It had taken until early afternoon for Mrinalini, Debarghya, and Debjani to reach their destination despite starting early. The roads had been crowded owing to the scores of vehicles headed to the various holiday destinations nearby Kolkata, seeking respite from the metropolitan hustle and bustle. The rain, customary for mid-August weather in West Bengal, had not helped the long queue of cars that sought to navigate the traffic. It had been easier for Rai and Brindadebi to reach their destination as the distance was a lot shorter, and they had been towards the city rather than away, thus making their commute in the direction opposite to the congestion. 

"How have you been, Ma?" Mrinalini asked her mother as they walked in the garden after lunch. There was a mild breeze blowing, and the sky was overcast. Rain could be expected anytime soon. "I am well, sweetheart. Are you alright? How is work going?" Rai asked with all the maternal concern she suppressed with each moment she had to spend away from her daughter. 

"I am well, Ma," Mrinalini replied affectionately. "Work is going great. The lab is so different from college. There are so many samples to test daily that one can never fathom the number of everyday crimes, Ma. There is so much to do every day. You barely get time to blink if you want to learn everything. I am loving it there."

"It rained like this the day you were born," Rai retrospected as the first few drops of rain made their way towards the parched earth, detaching themselves from the heavenly clouds that had been their abode in the celestial. "It always rains on your birthday."

Mrinalini laughed. "We are meeting after so long, Ma, and you want to talk about the rain?"

"You are right," Rai replied, snapping out of her retrospective daze. "Are things okay at home? Everything is fine between you and your son-in-law, right?"

"God's grace, Ma," Mrinalini replied with a soft smile. "Three years have just passed by in the blink of an eye."

"Are you both planning anything for the future?" Rai asked pointedly. 

"Ma," Mrinalini sighed, unwilling to take the conversation further. "I do not want to talk about this."

"It is important, sweetheart," Rai insisted. "The two of you need to talk about this. Avoiding something doesn't make it absent. You have already had health issues that you had to consult the gynaecologist for. Did the doctor say anything further about everything?"

"I am recovering, Ma," Mrinalini replied. The doctor hasn't mentioned any further complications that can affect anything. Debarghya and I have yet to discuss anything about a baby. My career's just starting. We are stable as a household but still need to grow professionally. It's too early for either of us."

"You've been married for three years, Mini," Rai interjected. "Ma," Mrinalini interrupted immediately, feeling overwhelmed and uncomfortable. "I want to have a peaceful afternoon without further discussion. I think you owe me this on my birthday."

The question remained unanswered, hanging in the moisture-heavy air as Rai and Mrinalini retreated indoors. The rain pelted down on the ground, replacing the lingering silence with a thunderous sound that reverberated through the air.

...

15th August

It was night, and Mrinalini was unpacking the clothes they had used for the three days to wash in the washing machine. They had reached home in the late evening. They had ordered dinner for themselves and Anumegha, her husband, Sreejit, accompanied by their son, Archisman, and Debjani's two sisters-in-law. 

"It was a good weekend despite the rain, wasn't it?" Debarghya asked as he entered their bedroom, shrugging out of his shirt. "Hmmm," Mrinalini mused absentmindedly. 

"We should get your mother and grandmother to come and stay with us at home sometime when they can. Ma was really happy to have someone to talk to, and I am sure they miss you and having company. It will be good for all of them," Debarghya continued. "Mrinal, did you like the gift?"

Although both of them had simple tastes and generally refrained from spending much on themselves, they always made it a point to exchange gifts on birthdays, festivals, and their anniversary. While Mrinalini's birthday gift had been simple books and the weekend getaway combined, Debarghya had given her an elegant watch for their anniversary. It was a steel band watch with a wide dial that complemented Mrinalini's broad wrist. She had loved the watch and had, in turn, gone all out to present her husband with a new wallet and a simple 18-kt gold ring shaped like a simple wedding band. As this was the first month she had as a salaried employee, she utilised her savings from tuition that she used to take and her stipend as an intern combined with a part of her salary to indulge in a gift for him.

Although the value of materialistic gifts cannot define the depth of a relationship, for Mrinalini, presenting Debarghya with something unique and expensive felt like an achievement. It made her feel independent and happy to have finally been able to present him with something valuable after three years of their marriage. To her, it felt like their relationship had thrived with these tiny successes and gestures and that her ability to live her dream with financial independence finally had felt golden.

"Mrinal, are you alright?" Debarghya's voice brought Mrinalini out of her reverie. "I asked you something."

"I loved the watch, Arghya," she replied with a soft smile. I am going to wear it to work every day."

"Has something been bothering you?" Debarghya asked, ignoring her response and the facade that she had attempted to distract him with through a smile. "You aren't a very closed book, Mrinal."

Mrinalini sighed, putting away the clothes in the laundry basket and coming up to sit next to Debarghya on their bed.

"My mother just brought up something during a conversation, and I cannot get it out of my head," Mrinalini started, biting her lower lip in deep thought. "She was asking about children. We aren't going to have kids anytime soon, right?"

Debarghya looked at Mrinalini pensively, trying to gather his thoughts. The subject had never been broached in their three years of marriage, given their responsibilities, busy lives, and the fact that Mrinalini was still pursuing her education. Although he had planned on having the long-due conversation with his wife some time ago, it was inevitably deferred multiple times. He was caught unaware as he had never imagined that Mrinalini would be the one to initiate the discussion on the matter of children, given her usually reserved demeanour and laser focus on education and career.

"Mrinal, I," he began uncomfortably, trying to measure his words. "This conversation has been long due, but I never initiated it because I knew it wasn't the right time while you were pursuing your Master'. Moreover, we got married when you were very young."

Mrinalini waited patiently for Debarghya to continue speaking as she looked at him in anticipation. "There's no other way to put it, but Mrinal, I am ageing. We both are. While you are still young and have years of youth ahead, I am fast approaching thirty-five. I know that we cannot try for children till the doctor clears you due to your health issues, but I wouldn't want to delay it for a few years."

"Debarghya, I am not twenty-five yet," Mrinalini whispered. I know we aren't planning a baby right away, but can we not put it off until the completion of my doctorate? When we both have a higher pay grade and can afford better for our family?"

"A doctorate takes years to be pursued and completed successfully, Mrinal," Debarghya sighed. "If we start trying for a baby after you get your doctorate, won't it be too late?"

"But Debarghya, I still have a few years until I turn 30," she replied softly, trying to reign in the panic settling in her conscience. "Mrinal, you don't have a baby within a month of trying for one," Debarghya snapped in exasperation. "It is a process that can take days, months, or even years. It isn't like we have unprotected sex once and end up with a baby. Too many health factors are involved, and risks increase as you age."

"But we both have ample time," Mrinalini retorted. "You still don't have grey hair on your head."

"I have a stressful job, Mrinalini, which has given me hypertension at the age of thirty-four," Debarghya replied, trying his best to be calm. "Factors like hypertension and stress and anxiety can decrease virility. Moreover, imagine this: if we start trying for a baby when I am thirty-seven or thirty-eight and suppose we become parents when you are thirty. I am forty; if we consider the optimal scenario, do you think it's practical? When we welcome a baby, I'll have less than two decades of my working life. How will we manage everything financially in the long term if we both aren't working? I don't think either of us can enjoy parenthood if we constantly feel financial stress weighing us down."

Mrinalini was silent for a moment. Their age gap hadn't made them feel too different during their marriage. This was the first time Debarghya's words made her realise the decade-old gap between them. It also meant different biological intervals that they both had to be considerate and receptive to.  

"I agree that having a baby when you are forty years old isn't the most ideal scenario," she conceded. "But what's the harm in delaying our plans for a family for a couple of years at least? I am sure we won't take too long to conceive, Debarghya. I am still young, and the doctor didn't highlight any problem that might hinder us from becoming parents in the near future."

"Mrinal," Debarghya interjected, defeatedly. "We don't know till we do. Having problems with your menstrual system and hormones can have long-term effects that cannot be determined at the onset. And, like I said, it isn't just about you and your body being able to conceive. I am ageing, too. While men don't undergo menopause, they do reach a biological interval after which things could be difficult, especially owing to lifestyle disorders like hypertension, stress, and anxiety."

"Debarghya, what am I supposed to conclude from this conversation?" Mrinalini finally asked, her voice laced with uncertainty and chagrin. "Even if I consider what you're saying and choose to pursue my PhD postpartum, I will not have a baby anytime soon. You know what the doctor has said. And more than physical preparation, I don't think I am mentally ready to be a mother."

Debarghya took hold of his wife's hands, looking at her softly as he said, "No one's coercing you to be a mother now, Mrinal. You have to recover first and settle further into the career that you've chosen to pursue. I am not saying that if the doctor clears you tomorrow, we'll start trying for a baby from the day after. I am saying that we need to plan to have a baby within a reasonable period. You know that I started as a working professional at a very young age after my father passed away. He passed away when I was 21, but he had cancer for three years. Mrinal, you have no idea how a household is compromised when the earnings diminish and you start living from hand to mouth. I know more than you can about how it can mess up household finances and even force a child to compromise with dreams. I do not want our child to face that. I do not wish to have a child so late in our lives that we are constantly running from pillar to post, struggling to manage everything with age. I do not want to become a father at an age when it would pain me physically to give my child a piggyback ride or when I am too old to be amicable and constantly irritable." Mrinalini listened with bated breath, silent, as Debarghya continued, "We also need to try and ensure that the two of us are working until our child reaches a certain age to support their education. Mrinal, we have both been victims of circumstances. That is the only reason why this is one thing that I am insisting on."

"My mind's in a state of ambiguity," Mrinalini replied at length, visibly distressed and undecided. "While I understand and see the logic in your perspective, I can't say that I agree. We are supposed to plan a child within the next few years to raise them while we are in the prime of our professional lives. But Debarghya, will we be able to bear the responsibility of a child? Financially, physically, and psychologically?"

Debarghya sighed. "Mrinal, we were raised with much lesser earnings than we earn. In the next few years, we'll be able to clear off the home loan and save more. We'll be growing professionally and optimising our household's income. We're both mature individuals, and we don't have any other responsibilities or obligations. Once Rishi completes his MBA next year, I won't have to support him further financially. Why won't we be ready?"

Mrinalini didn't have a reasonable answer to Debarghya's question. She wasn't someone who hadn't thought of motherhood as a part of her future. She had never harboured qualms or inhibitions to the fact that she did, in fact, want to have a family someday, but the question of when hadn't been one that had bothered her before today. Would being a mother affect her career, or could she make both work? Perhaps all that she needed was some time to stabilise her health and ensure that she gets off probation at work. Maybe she could pursue her doctorate later, but will that hinder her plans of pursuing extensive ground-breaking research?

"Debarghya, can we not discuss this further?" she whispered, overwhelmed by the flood of questions that crashed against the confines of her mind like turbulent waves. "Mrinal," Debarghya started in a soothing voice. "We aren't doing this tomorrow. We are merely having a discussion. Don't panic."

Mrinalini nodded, retreating from Debarghya, going about doing her work mechanically. The silence of the night echoed the sound of raindrops slapping against the ground, mirroring the deafening thoughts that raced through her mind. Three years ago, she had crossed the threshold of this very home that she called her own today, having been welcomed into a new family that she was now a part of. The transition from Entally to Shyambazar, a few kilometres away in the same city, in a new home, had been horrifying. With each step she had taken since, in the pursuit of finding her ground in a new environment, she had discovered a new part of herself: more subdued, responsible, perhaps even a bit different.

The metamorphosis from a girl to a young woman had been a bittersweet journey, but was she ready for the next step? After all, motherhood wasn't just about carrying a little life in the womb, nurturing them from an embryo to a little sapling; it was much beyond that. Perhaps giving birth is termed to be one of the most harrowing and painful experiences known to humankind, yet ironically described as beautiful, but wasn't it the long journey of raising a sapling into a thriving tree in the garden called family that indeed posed a challenge? 

In her mind, Mrinalini knew that Debarghya was right about them being financially and physically ready to welcome a child in the next few years, but was she? 

The fate of a marriage she had been unprepared for was blissful despite its ups and downs and challenges. Could motherhood be the same for her?

Alas, she'd never know until she would be at the very precipice of the situation she was trying to envision and conjure up in her mind. After all, what destiny has in store triumphs over the best-laid plans that we make.

...

1st October

Autumn arrived in the City of Joy with much fanfare, as the biggest festival in Eastern India was celebrated with the arrival of the ten-armed Mother Goddess Durga in her Mahishasura Mardini form. It was Mahapanchami, and ideally, the last day that Kolkatans would work before the immersion of the various-sized Durga idols on Vijaya Dashami. The next day, Gandhi Jayanti was a national holiday, which made each citizen spirited and festive. 

With 5 days of holiday approaching, banks, hospitals' outpatient departments, and clinics were loaded with people who had work to do. As such, Mrinalini was among the many patients seated in the waiting area for Dr Mitra's OPD at 6 pm. Debarghya, who had gotten off work early, was accompanying her. They had redone Mrinalini's tests after almost 4 months of medication and care. Although she still had high blood pressure, which could also be attributed to other stress, her menstrual cycle had normalised, and her haemoglobin levels were back to normal. 

"Good evening, doctor," Debarghya and Mrinalini greeted in unison as they entered Dr. Mitra's chamber. The room, which was aesthetically yet minimally decorated with typical white walls and complementing bare furnishings, had some personalised touches in the form of souvenirs and photo frames displayed alongside degree certificates and other doctoral achievements. 

The doctor scrutinised Mrinalini's reports, her sharp eyes squinting through the reading glasses perched atop her sharp nose as the couple waited for her opinion in silence, almost mirroring students in a classroom. 

"The reports are normal," the doctor pronounced, interrupting the quietude. "You can discontinue your medication now, Mrinalini. Your blood pressure, however, is still quite high. Are you having trouble sleeping at night?"

"She barely sleeps, doctor," Debarghya replied. "She recently published a couple of research papers and had been busy with preparation for their preparation at the Science Conference concluded last week. And she also works a full-time job at the CFSL. Other than the medication you specified, she hasn't complied with any of the other instructions, especially with her restlessness."

Mrinalini blushed beet red at her husband's words. She knew that he was proud that she had been able to present her papers at a prestigious conference. In the last week, he announced her achievements to every random individual they had encountered, from the neighbours to his colleagues and even some of their relatives. He had even dropped her off for three days straight at the Hyatt Regency, where the conference had been hosted.

"While your success and achievements are commendable," the doctor replied, addressing Mrinalini sternly, suppressing a small smile. "You need to take care of yourself. As I mentioned, your medications can be stopped, but you need a balanced diet rich in vitamins and minerals. Some of your levels, including Vitamin D, Iron, and Iodine, are low. I am prescribing you a Vitamin D supplement. Continue ingesting iron-rich food so that your haemoglobin levels stay normal. Sleep normally and avoid excessive salt in your food. I am not prescribing you anything for your blood pressure, but if the levels continue to be on the higher side for a prolonged period, you'll risk cardiac issues."

Mrinalini nodded. "Doctor, what about oral contraception? Isn't there anything that you can prescribe me?"

The doctor shook her head gravely. "I wouldn't want to prescribe you any form of oral contraception just yet. Given the fact that being on birth control for a prolonged period caused some major discrepancies with your menstrual cycle, it would be best if you don't take anything for a while now. We can revisit options later, but you are too young to be risking your reproductive health just yet. By oral contraception, I also mean Plan B, as we had discussed previously. If there's to be an emergency or a situation requiring you to take one, we can arrange for a consult and consider other options rather than the pill."

Mrinalini nodded. She knew that Debarghya had questions in his mind about her health in general and if it would affect them later if they were to try conceiving, but neither of them had been able to voice their concerns to the doctor.

"Nothing indicates any issue with your ability to conceive later," Dr Mitra continued as if reading their mind. "But be mindful of how you treat your body. Most of the time, hormonal levels fluctuating or minor issues with the menstrual cycle are disregarded by patients. Still, it is important to understand that minor issues are what can pave the way to major problems. Like small doses of lethal poisons that we encounter each day that can perhaps even kill us."

She smiled at Mrinalini while saying the last line, remembering a previous conversation during which Mrinalini had shared about her area of research. "Start with sleeping, Mrinalini," Dr Mitra said as they left. "Our bodies heal more with sleep than we give credit for."

Mrinalini nodded and smiled as Debarghya ushered her out. 

"Do I speak Greek when I say that you need to sleep?" he asked sarcastically as they walked out of the hospital towards the nearest bus stop. She laughed in response, basking in the gentle breeze of the Autumn evening. The air reverberated with the upbeat rhythm of the Dhaak from one of the neighbouring lanes where the Durga idol must have arrived.

"Would you like to have coffee before we return home?" Debarghya asked Mrinalini. "There's a cafe nearby that I've heard serves great coffee."

"Have you ever known me to refuse coffee?" she retorted amicably as the two of them walked away, the evening fading away gradually, oblivious to the present, beckoning to the future to come hither.

...

10th January

A new year brought some excellent news for Mrinalini. She was officially put off probation and offered a full-time place at the Central Forensic Sciences Laboratory. She also started simultaneously looking into PhD programmes that she could do via correspondence. Being fully aware that she couldn't relocate anywhere for her further studies, especially with her full-time job, it was only logical for her to enrol somewhere she could travel to if and when required. 

After many enquiries, adequate research, and consultation with her seniors and colleagues at CFSL, Mrinalini sought Debarghya's counsel. Her extensive research in Chemistry required lab work and face-to-face consultation. They finally zeroed in on a renowned research institute in New Delhi.

After consulting with the PhD programme coordinator and Mrinalini's doctorate mentor, they figured out that a monthly commute to New Delhi was feasible and within their budget. Given that she would be pursuing her doctorate via correspondence rather than full-time, Mrinalini was offered a partial stipend instead of the usual amount that research scholars were paid. It would cover some of her monthly travel expenses, food, and lodging in New Delhi. 

"We can time our tours together, Mrinal," Debarghya had told her. "I go off on tours for two weeks in a month. You'll probably be gone for half a week or a week at most every month so that we can coordinate our travel plans."

"What about Ma?" Mrinalini asked, concerned. "We cannot leave her at home alone and unattended while the two of us are away overnight."

"Maybe she can stay with Brishti or my aunts while the two of us are away?" Debarghya had suggested. That cannot be permanent, Debarghya," Mrinalini had argued. It isn't a one-time thing that needs to be taken care of. Do you think Ma will agree to us employing someone contractually to stay with her overnight? Like a nurse or a caretaker?"

"There are high chances that she won't agree," Debarghya informed Mrinalini, wincing slightly. "I think it will be best to drop her off at Brishti's when we are away. It will barely be for 3 or 5 days at max in a month. Ma would appreciate the opportunity to spend time with her daughter and grandson. She can also alternate between my aunt's places."

"Should we not discuss this with her before deciding?" Mrinalini asked, biting her lip indecisively. "She'll be okay with me going out of town every month, right?"

"It doesn't matter, Mrinal," Debarghya sighed. "It is important. Your doctorate is important to you, and the institution in which you are getting your opportunity is not something everyone can boast of. It's something you have earned."

"Thank you," Mrinalini replied softly, embracing him lightly. Let's go and talk to your mother, okay?"

...

Debjani was okay with her daughter-in-law's decision to pursue her doctorate in New Delhi. She was more than accommodating when it came to the monthly arrangements. However, her stance on the matter of employing someone contractually to stay overnight was rigid.

"I will not allow a stranger to stay home overnight," she had insisted. "Not under any circumstance." 

 "But Ma, we cannot leave you alone at home, and going away every month for a few days would be troublesome," Debarghya tried to explain. "If you are worried about expenses, please don't be. It is important, and we'll be a lot more at peace knowing that you are safe and that there's someone around to take care of you in case you need anything."

"No," Debjani had held her ground strongly. "I'd rather go off to stay with your sister or with your aunt's every month rather than letting a stranger stay overnight. Do you both even watch the news? Do you know how unsafe it is and what can happen? Last week, there was this case in Ballygunge. The house help murdered an elderly woman in cold blood and fled with all the cash and jewellery, and then there was this case in Gurugram where the man's throat was slit wide open with his eyes..."

"We get the memo, Ma," Mrinalini had interjected, face-palming internally. "Without the graphics."

"I will be perfectly fine without you two around," Debjani continued. If you both are out for work, I think I will be a lot more at peace being around someone I know and am comfortable with rather than with some stranger. In fact, let me tell you both this: Under no circumstances till I am alive will a stranger ever stay overnight at our home."

"We'll cross that bridge if it comes to an emergency in the future, Ma," Debarghya punctuated, shaking his head.

He and Mrinalini retreated from Debjani's room, looking at each other, unsure. 

"It's her choice at the end of the day," Debarghya reasoned. "I'll speak to Brishti and let her know about this."

...

21st January

It was a chilly January morning. Debarghya and Mrinalini arrived at the Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose International Airport to travel to New Delhi. It would be Mrinalini's first flight and her first trip to the institution where she would pursue her doctorate.

"We have a seminar on the 23rd, so it would be great if you could arrive a day before. We can introduce you to our team here so you can get acquainted with how we conduct research here," Dr Matthew, Mrinalini's PhD mentor, told her over a virtual call. We can chalk out a plan for the next few months once you get here and attend the seminar, which I believe will interest you deeply."

Having discussed this with Debarghya, they immediately booked tickets. Initially, she was supposed to travel by herself, but her qualms and nervousness got the best of her, and she sought her husband's companionship and presence during her first trip.

"You will be fine by yourself, Mrinal," Debarghya reasoned. Arrangements have been made for your accommodation near the Research Institute. I will drop you off at Kolkata airport, and once you land in New Delhi, you can easily take an Uber."

"I have never flown before, Debarghya," Mrinalini had confessed. "Can you not accompany me once, please? 21st is a Friday. We can both take the first flight out on the 24th. All you need to do is take one day's leave. Please? I don't want to do this alone. New Delhi is a new city."

"Mrinal, it will cost us twice as much," he had argued. "I can easily take a leave, but you will go there monthly for research and work. Why not just get used to it from the very beginning?"

"Just the first time, Debarghya, please," Mrinalini had insisted. "I've never been on a flight before and have not been out to another city for work. Moreover, the two of us haven't been out of Bengal anywhere before unless you count the pilgrimage to Puri or the trip to Sikkim. Please come along with me?"

Debarghya had yielded after much thought, sighing as he used his credit card to pay for two tickets to New Delhi. He would also need to book a hotel room for them. 

"I am going to be on a flight for the first time," Mrinalini marvelled as they entered the terminal. "I am going to New Delhi, the capital city of India."

"Mrinal," Debarghya chuckled. "You are 24 years old, not 4."

Mrinalini nodded, smiling in response. "And I am finally seeing the world."

...

16th February

It was the day after Basant Panchami. The Goddess of education and cosmic power had been invoked by students all over the country, having been paid obeisance in the form of flowers, fruits, and other offerings. Teenagers standing at the cusp of adulthood, awaiting one of the academic milestones in their lives, board examinations, had queued up to get their books blessed at the lotus feet of the Goddess. Mrinalini had been there too, with some of her new books and hard copies of the research papers that she had published, seeking the blessings of the deity for success and power as she embarked on the latest academic journey that would undoubtedly see numerous ups and downs in the days to come.

 It was an afternoon in the smoggy, chilly capital city. This time alone, Mrinalini had taken a flight to New Delhi early in the morning. Debarghya had dropped her off at the airport at 6 am, leaving directly for work that he had at Murshidabad district by road. 

Having reached New Delhi by early morning, Mrinalini had taken some time to freshen up and rest at the temporary hostel room allocated to her before reporting to the research institute for some work. 

The laboratory was cold and well-equipped. The central air-conditioning provided a set temperature that was warmer than the cold and dreary weather outside. Seated on one of the steel high stools, Mrinalini focused on the statistics and formulae that had been put up on the whiteboard by Zain, one of the research fellows at the institute. Dr Matthews and he had been working on breakthrough research on lethal poisons that they hoped to take forward with further results and broader surveys. Having someone on the team with relevant work experience at the Central Forensics Sciences Laboratory would be crucial to the research. 

"Are you sure about these results?" Mrinalini enquired bluntly while analysing the statistics that had been drawn up. "I think the compound had to be catalysed by something else we are missing out on. The time frame you've specified within which the reaction occurs doesn't seem to make sense otherwise. There's got to be a discrepancy that we are missing out on."

Zain regarded Mrinalini's words carefully, holding up his notes and scrutinising them. "These are conclusions based on samples we collected from the forensic archives. Perhaps we can draw better conclusions if we have more samples to correlate and corroborate with. How about we start with our blood?"

Dr Matthews shook his head gravely. "We need individuals of a certain age group specifically to get more accurate results. Using our samples of different genders and ages would be more muddling than helpful. We can widen our research once we categorise something concrete with specific samples."

Mrinalini nodded in agreement, writing a note for herself on the corner of her notebook. The conclusive silence that had descended upon the lab was interrupted by a gentle knock at the door, which prompted a 'Come in' from Dr Matthews.

It was Chitra, one of the microbiological research fellows from the laboratory in the next building. 

"Good afternoon, Professor," she greeted Dr Matthews with a smile, pausing to nod and acknowledge Mrinalini and Zain. "I need some blood and swab samples for my research. Would the three of you please volunteer to participate?"

All three agreed amicably and were escorted to the next room, where another girl assisted Chitra in handing each volunteer a questionnaire and a consent form. "Hi, Mrinalini," Chitra addressed. "My name is Chitra, and I am researching genetic mutations. I will need an accurate response from your end for the questionnaire, as it helps us correlate results with the appropriate biological intervals more accurately. In your case, since you are a woman, there will be additional questions pertaining to your menstrual cycle, marital life, and perhaps even hormones and possible pregnancy. I request you to kindly answer the questions honestly to the best of your ability without fear of judgment because it will make our jobs easier."

Mrinalini nodded, skimming through the questionnaire. She filled out her details, adding her brief medical history, emphasising the medication that she had been on for restoring hormonal balance and writing about the rough dates of her previous menstrual cycle that she could recollect. When it came to answering about her marital life and possibilities of pregnancy, she filled out a definite no.

In the end, she was also asked to provide her phone number and email ID for data collection and subsequent verification. 

"Thanks a lot for volunteering," Chitra said as they left. "I may contact you if I need to know anything."

...

It was night, and Mrinalini was about to retire from bed. Having had an early morning flight, she wanted to catch up on some sleep before reporting to the lab the next day. She had changed into a comfortable nightdress and got off a call with her mother, followed by a video call from Debarghya. 

Just as she put away her mobile phone after setting an alarm for 7 am, her phone rang. An unknown number flashed across the screen. Mrinalini frowned. Although it was just 10.30 pm, not too late by most metropolitan standards, it was still later than usual for her to get phone calls from any call centre or sales office. She ignored the call twice, reaching out to receive it the third time it rang.

"Hello?" she asked, waiting for someone to say something. "Hi, Mrinalini," a familiar voice replied. "It's Chitra from microbiology. I collected your samples in the afternoon."

"Yes, Chitra, I remember," Mrinalini replied. "Please tell me."

"I had sent in your samples, and the professor's for a basic test, and I was just going through the reports. Your HCG levels are high, which is an indicator of pregnancy, but you filled it out with conviction that there is no chance that you could be pregnant in the questionnaire..."

Mrinalini was too stunned to respond. She was quiet on the exterior but severely conflicted internally. "Are you sure?" she finally managed to ask in a whisper. Could the fluctuations in the levels not be because of the medical history I specified or the medication that I was put on?"

"Um, I am not very sure, Mrinalini," Chitra confessed. "In my experience and expertise, I haven't encountered such. It would be best if you get a pregnancy test and get your blood work redone. You are married, and as per your response in the questionnaire,  you aren't on any form of contraception, so it's best if you consider the practical possibilities before driving yourself to a mindless frenzy. It could be an error as well. Just don't panic, okay? I just called to let you know because I felt this could be important, and you'd want me to inform you personally rather than at the research institute."

"I appreciate that," Mrinalini replied, suppressing a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself down. "I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good night."

Disconnecting the call, she sat in bed, her drowsiness having worn off. She took a deep breath, focusing her mind, trying to recollect the last date of her menstruation. She had yet to bleed this month but had severe bloating, something that she had attributed to a natural delay in her menstrual cycle, something that wasn't very unlikely since her treatment. She didn't feel any of the textbook symptoms of pregnancy that were shown in television shows. Moreover, even though she wasn't on birth control, Debarghya and she were both careful when it came to sexual intercourse. They had stacked up on protection.

Shaking her head, she collected her thoughts and proceeded to place an order on Blinkit for a home pregnancy test to be delivered at her hostel's gate, knowing that she wouldn't be able to sleep without knowing if she was pregnant.

Collecting the order from the hostel gate, Mrinalini rushed to her room, tearing off the packaging and extracting the contents. She used the ensuite washroom to follow the steps prescribed in the user manual that came with the test. 

Sighing, she exited the washroom, leaving the test on the sink counter, knowing it would take some time for the results to reflect. While waiting for the moment of truth, she jogged down memory lane, trying to remember if there was an instance during which she had engaged in unprotected sexual intercourse that could lead to her pregnancy unexpectedly. Since the new year, both Mrinalini and Debarghya had been busy, so it wasn't very often that they got time to engage in marital activities, and the handful of times that they had sought each other for gratification, they had ensured safety and precaution. What could have gone wrong?

And then suddenly, like a bolt of lightning, an instance that had entirely slipped out of her mind hit her. There had been that one night in January, perhaps towards the beginning...

It had been a cold night, and Mrinalini had been in an irritable mood, given some severe cramps in the left side of her lower abdomen. Her lower back hurt severely, and although she was nowhere near the start of her menstrual period, her stomach had been bloated, and she had to deal with swollen feet. She remembered the night distinctively because of an argument that she had with Debarghya. He had been due to leave town for work the next day, and the altercation had escalated due to her mood swings after a few simple questions from him while packing. She had proceeded to lash out at him and subsequently burst into tears due to the pain and discomfort that she felt but couldn't express. 

"Why can't I have one day of peace?" she cried hysterically, shrugging Debarghya's hand off her shoulder as he attempted to calm her down. "You don't understand how much it hurts, do you? Why do you need my help with packing? Can you not leave me in peace?"

He had managed to persuade her, and what started with a simple kiss ended with them in bed. The next day, Debarghya had left early in the morning, and neither of them remembered discussing the implications of unprotected intercourse that they had engaged in the heat of the moment. They had both gone about their day as per usual. Could that be when Mrinalini had conceived? But then she had bled last month following this incident. How could it be? Things didn't add up. Perhaps it was just a harmless scare, and there had been some mix-up in the report.

And then it hit her like a freight train. The symptoms that had riddled her with pain that fateful night. The flank pain, the swollen feet, the bloating, and the mood swings. She had been ovulating around that period. The conversation that she had with Dr Mitra a few months ago during which she had complained of this kind of unilateral pain every month between two cycles. The older woman had explained in her wise, matronly manner that the symptoms were, in fact, prevalent in women and were consistent with the ovulation period in females, occurring monthly on alternate sides with varying intensities. 

Mrinalini choked on her breath as panic descended on her. She looked around desperately for the bottle of water she had kept on the desk adjacent to the bed. 

Taking a few gulps, she calmed down, her heartbeat still racing. She looked at the time. The interval had transpired. She had to walk down to the restroom to check the pregnancy test results. 

Praying for strength, she took baby steps towards the restroom, opened the door gently, and picked up the test.

There were two lines on the screen, indicative of what she had feared.

Was life playing a joke with her, or could this moment that made her want to curl up in a ball and never return represent another divergent serendipity that couldn't be comprehended?

Alas, her will to sleep was lost as she let out a silent scream, clutching the pregnancy test in her hand and falling to the ground. She hugged herself, leaning against the cold tiled wall of the restroom, trying to wrap her head around the fact she was expecting.

The silence of the dark winter night echoed the screams that deafened her mind. She had just been on her way to fulfill her dreams. Would life ahead ever remain the same?

Her eyes were moist, but even as she looked down at her lower abdomen, touching the soft and supple skin underneath her nightshirt, she felt a fuzzy, conflicting feeling drowning her in the throes of ambiguity and dubiety.

...

To be continued...

PUBLISHED ON: 4th June 2024

Author's note:

Hi everyone. 

Firstly, thank you for staying with me and Mrinalini until this point in the journey, which is fast approaching its end. 

I hope to complete this book by August. Now, about the plot. Mrinalini's story is not one about extraordinary pseudo-feminism wherein she chooses herself and her ambitions over everything else. It is a realistic story that I have attempted to write in an ode to write of a character who can be encountered in real life. Mrinalini has always been the story of a girl next door. Although the sequence towards which the story goes may sound cliche and overly domestic and straightforward, it is precisely the mundaneness of life that I hope to present. 

Surprise pregnancies may be romanticised in numerous plots, but it isn't entirely an overused fantasy. It is often a reality that greets one unexpectedly. My idea of incorporating this plot isn't to write cliche but to hopefully present something that many women can relate to. Motherhood and responsibilities are every individual's choice, and in the country that we live in, they are often an obligation. Through this story, I hope to reach out to the numerous mothers who may or may not have sacrificed a part of their lives in an attempt to dedicate themselves entirely to their children's well-being. 

At the same time, I do not wish to endorse obligation as the norm that should be accepted in society. Individual choices and decisions constitute humane rights and must thus be respected. A woman and a human go beyond the ambit of giving birth and being a mother, but growing to be responsible, happy, and, most importantly, humane is the spirit of womanhood and feminism that all of us must embrace and celebrate. We must not be the judges of one's happiness and choices, for every dream matters, no matter how meagre or ambitious it may be.

I sincerely hope you find some semblance of beauty in this simple and ordinary girl's story and give it all the love. Please reach out to me for feedback or a general conversation. It would mean the world to me to hear from you.

I am available on Instagram with the User ID: elegiac_damsel

Please do share your thoughts. I hope you all are well and safe. Stay healthy and happy.

With love and best wishes,

Elegiac_Damsel

P.S. Stay safe and take care of yourselves and your families. Love them with all your might. Every moment is precious

P.P.S. Please do VOTE, COMMENT, and SHARE if Mrinalini's story has been able to touch a part of your heart.