Sleep (18)

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"You look uncomfortable," Stan says.

"Stan, it's fucking midnight. It's my job to point out random shit at midnight, not yours," I say.

"It's 2 am, actually. I'll take that up as my job," Stan says.

"Fine. What are you saying?" I ask.

"You don't have to sleep on the floor you know," Stan says.

"I said I didn't want to be a burden, suck it up and get some sleep," I say.

"Oh come on. Stop being an asshole," Stan says.

"No, being the asshole is my second job. Other than pointing out random shit at midnight, being a pervert and normally being the quietest out of all of us because I wait until I actually have something fucking interesting to say, unlike the rest of you, speaking before you think and running into the shittiest situations. Oh yeah, dying is also my job," I say.

"Stop talking shit and come here," Stan says.

"I literally fucking imagined all your of us desperately trying to fit on your bed and it's really really hilarious," I say.

He starts laughing.

"Butters would just take the smallest space out of all of us," Stan says.

"Even if he's not the smallest of us, like I mean height," I say.

"Don't you fucking dare," Stan says.

"Shortie," I say.

"I'm average. You're not even visibly shorter than me!" Stan says.

"Well I gotta say, height shards are pretty much all against you being 'average'," I say.

"No it's not. I'm 13th tallest, the class has 23 people. I'm pretty fucking average," Stan says.

"You're not. I'm 12rd, I'm the average. Fuck you, you're short," I say.

"No I'm not, Cartman is," Stan says.

I snicker a little.

"What are you laughing about?" Stan asks.

"The fact Nichole is taller than you," I say.

"Dude, nobody is between us, Nichole is also taller than you," Stan says.

"But I'm still growing and soon Nichole will be 12rd, she isn't growing anymore," I say.

"Dude. Fuck you, I'm going as well. I'm pretty sure Kyle is the only one that isn't growing anymore," Stan says.

"Okay, but Kyle has fucking reasons for it, nobody should get taller than that," I say.

"He isn't the tallest man alive," Stan says.

"I know, but his height is making me so fucking jealous because I will, at most, get to be the 8th tallest while Kyle is fucking 2nd. Like, holy shit. The dude we made fun of for being a head shorter is now almost a head taller than us. Then Butterfly we never really made fun of because he wasn't that short, but now he is past both of us, but I might get past him in best care scenario," I say.

"I'll come after. Apparently, I'll be growing for a really long time because my growth spurt is spread out, unlike everyone else. Trust me, I'll catch up to you, when I'm 20. I'm going to be 6th," Stan says.

I laugh.

"Hey! At least my voice changed before you!" Stan says.

"Yes and it was so fucking hilarious to listen to, but come on dude, my voice is so much better," I say.

"I would argue that Craig had the best luck with his voice," Stan says.

"Okay yeah, I know, I know. But out of me, you, Butterfly and Kyle. Who has the best voice?" I ask.

"Singing voice? Me. You can't fucking argue with that. Speaking voice? I like Butters'," Stan says.

"Well true, he's got a cool voice," I say.

"Your Mysterion voice is fucking amazing though. If that was your real voice, that would actually kill me," Stan says.

"Kill you? Why?" I ask.

"Reminds me of, what I thought the great deku tree from Legend of Zelda sounded like, in my mind, when I was a child," Stan says.

"Why would it kill you? Is it too fucking good?" I ask.

"It is. Far too good. By the way. Do you still do that shit?" Stan asks.

"Mysterion or the voice? Yes to both. Sometimes, especially, if I have to look for something wrong with Karen, still trusts me more as Mysterion than as Kenny, even after figuring all that shit out," I say.

I turn again, the floor hurting my left hand I just laid on.

"Oh come on, dude. Come here," Stan says.

"Okay, fine," I say.

I get up and sit on Stan's bed. He sits up as well. Stan's phone rings and he answers, putting in his headphones, he gives the other one to me.

"Morning Kyle," he says.

"Hey Stan. Anyway, I had to tell about this right now. I won't be in school tomorrow. I'm fine, I promise. So is Karen. Karen and I are both are staying home, poor girl has got a cold and I have something to do middle of the day, so, I'll stay to take care of her. Yeah, sorry," Kyle says.

"Kenny is here as well, listening," Stan says.

"Oh okay. Kenny, Karen will be fine. Half of her class has a cold, she was bound to catch it. Karen. You wanna talk to your brother? Yeah, Kenny's on the phone. Okay. I'll give you the phone," Kyle says.

I take the phone from Stan as he gives it to me.

"Hey Karen. How's it going?" I ask.

"I'm good, just having a cold. Why are you up?" Karen asks.

"I could ask you the same," I say.

"I'm sick. Do I really need any other explanation?" Karen asks.

"Oh fine. Whose room are you staying at?" I ask.

"Ike's, but Ike has an important test tomorrow so I'm in Kyle's room today," Karen says.

"Oh shit, sorry. I have to go, I'm gonna get tea. Love you, Kenny," she says.

"Love you too, Karen," I say.

"Do you wanna say something to them or-?" Karen asks, probably Kyle.

"I might," Kyle says.

I give Stan the other earbud.

"So. You aren't sleeping? I didn't wake you up or anything?" Kyle asks.

"Nah, we can't sleep. Anyway. Do you wanna talk about something?" Stan asks.

"Not really. Fuck," Kyle says.

"Gotta go. Love you both, goodnight," Kyle says.

"Night," I say.

"Love you too," Stan says.

The call ends.

"Well," I say.

Stan puts his phone back onto it's place on the table.

"Lets at least try to sleep?" Stan asks.

I start to get off his bed, but he pulls me down, keeping a hand around me so I can't get up.

"I win," he says.

I roll my eyes before closing them to at least try to sleep.

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