Logico: I need an adult.

Logico: ... I am an adult.

Logico: I NEED AN ADULTIER ADULT.

*****

Logico: How high are you?

Irratino: Good, how are you?

Logico: No-

*****

Irratino: Idk why, but I feel like compliments are harder to respond to than literal bullying.

Person: Hey, you kinda suck at existing.

Irratino: Ow.

Logico: Hey, nice job today!

Irratino: Oh, thank you. I'd die for you.

Logico: What-

Irratino: Yeah, if you wanted me to.

Logico: Bro, it's just a compliment-

Irratino: So like, you want me to jump into oncoming traffic or the lion cage or, you just tell me.

Logico: Bro stop!

Irratino: Why?

Logico: Just say "thank you"!

Irratino: DO YOU WANT MY PANCREAS???

*****

Obsidian: *kidnapped and tied up* So. How do we get out, oh esoteric inspector?

Irratino: *also kidnapped and tied up* Oh don't worry, I'm a capable man, I know just the way to get out.

Obsidian:

Irratino:

Obsidian

Irratino: *screams*

Logico: *kicks the door off its hinges* Irratino?!

*****

Irratino: *always gets himself injured* I'm not a masochist. I'm a dumbass. There's a difference.

*****

He has had it

Logico: Keep talking and I'll turn your spine into a fucking slinky.

Officer Copper:

Chairman Chalk:

High Alchemist Raven:

Mx. Tangerine:

Irratino: Gawd damn.

*****

Logico: *to Irratino after he took a knife hit* I love you and all. BUT WHY ON GOD'S GREEN BELOVED EARTH-?!

*****

Irratino: Hey man, what's your favourite film?

Logico: I like Human Centipede.

Irratino: *bitch was too flabbershamamagastered to speak*

*****

Logico: *playing with a miniature car cuz ✨boredom✨*

Irratino: How old are you again?

Logico: 25.

Irratino: *starts wheezing*

Logico: Hey, I have a right to be an adult child!

*****

Logico: Eh, I can take up to seven inches.

Obsidian: Se-seven inches? Seven inches of what?? Is that it?

Irratino: *wheezing*

*****

Me: *peacefully rereading Murdle and trying to figure out how to make the episodes*

Me: *starts building a fanon plot*

Me: Fuck.

*****

My fanon AU stuff

Logico: Oh, I have to go. I need to pick someone up.

Irratino: Oh? Mind if I ask who?

Logico: My son. His school finished early today-

Irratino: YOU HAVE A SON??

Logico: Don't yell, I only recently adopted him-

*****

When Killer!Logico and Traitor! Irratino team up

Irratino: This is a stealth mission.

Logico: Got it.

Also Logico: *proceeds to snap people's necks and kills anyone on sight*

Irratino: I'm staying loyal to the Logico in my universe, but holy shit that's hot.

*****

Logico: *Irratino showed him simple Marot readings and "trusting your gut"* Ah, I get it.

Irratino: *shows him how to read stars and travel through the astral plane*

Logico:

Logico: I don't get it.

*****

Irratino: *dies*

Aureolin: Timer starts now! When is he coming back? I say two months!

Dr. Crimson: Bullshit. One month.

General Coffee: Nah, half a month.

Logico, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IRRATINO JUST DIED!

Obsidian, scratching chin in thought: One week.

*****

Basically him

Logico: I have no money and I'm also gay.

*****

Miss Saffron: *to some person nearby* He called me the B word!

Logico: *side eye* Motherfucker doesn't start with a B-

*****

Logico: *at a comic con* Why did you bring me here? We're grown men.

Irratino: Ah, come on. Relax, there are many adults here. Younger than me, perhaps, but some around your age.

Logico: You just made yourself sound ancient.

Irratino: I do feel old now. *Looks up and nudges Logico* Look over there!

Logico looked to where Irratino pointed. Two teens, in cosplay of them, were doing a silly dance to the background music.

Irratino: Cute, isn't it?

Logico: Out of all the people and character, they chose us.

*****

Daily Murdle card: The Fanciest room you've ever seen. It would be impossible to describe it for your middle class brain to understand.

Me: G.T. Karber really called us poor in every language possible.

*****

How I read a weapon card

Card: A climbing rope. You could use it for climbing! Or strangling :D!

*****

Irratino: Be as loud as you want, it doesn't matter if the neighbours hear us.

Logico: *sits there for a moment, before sinking into himself and covered his face with a book*

Irratino: Deductive?

****

Logico: If it's stupid but it works, it's not stupid.

Irratino: You keep calling me stupid though.

Logico: You get yourself killed every Sunday, how is that not stupid-

*****

The table of favourites

Logico: *pushes himself up an into a seat and rests his head on the table*

Someone pushed a cup of coffee in front of him and he looked up. The other people were Surge, Science!Sans, and OCs who never really got featured but have good designs. They all had coffee in front of them.
Logico took his cup and took a sip.

Logico: ... ay, y'all got more of this?

*****

Entity AU

Logico hung up on a call, when someone pulled him back and threw him to the ground, with him attempting to fight them off.

Irratino: *rushes in* I got your call! Logico?!

He froze in his tracks upon seeing the scene.
Logico was kneeling on the ground next to the corpse of his attacker, with blood on his hands and mouth, quietly sobbing. He looked up at Irratino.

Logico: *quietly* What have I done?

*****

Multifandom

Science!Sans: *talking with Obsidian*

Furno: *zooms past them using Logico's car while blasting "I WOKE UP IN A NEW BUGATTI" from the radio*

Logico and Irratino: *in the backseat, screaming*

Surge: *chasing after them, telling Furno to stop*

Sci: ... is this normal?

Obsidian: Ever since we became multiple fandoms in one? Yes.

*****

Logico: Wow, you could use a massage. You look very tense.

Irratino: *just fired an employee who was a killer, pissed off*

Logico: *just had to deal with Officer Copper again* Yeah, I could use one as well.

*****

Irratino: What’s up? I’m back.

Logico: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead

Irratino: Death is a social construct.