Logico: *points at Entity* He runs a pharmacy without the P.

Entity: I crave violence.

*****

Irratino can't ski

Irratino: *screaming as he goes down the hill*

Logico: *chases after him* PIZZA, IRRATINO, PIZZA!

*****

He just wanted a murder-free vacation

Logico: Forget about touching grass. I need to touch the SEA. I need to go in the water!

*****

At the luxury high-end international rich people prison

Miss Saffron: *gets sent there and meets the other murderers of the week*

Assistant Applegreen: Wanna do something foolish?

Saffron: Do you even have to ask?

Meanwhile Logico: Next to Mondays I have also started to hate Sundays with the reoccurring murders that happen in PRISON.

*****

Interviewer: How often do you solve murders in a week?

Logico: Oh like, one.

Interviewer: Once a week? Shockingly frequent, but I guess it's manageable.

Logico: Nah nah nah nah, everyday-

*****

Why Irratino dislikes maths

Logico: No one's answering? I guess I'll have to call someone out.

Obsidian: GET DOWN!

Logico: You.

Irratino: 42?

Logico: Wrong.

Chairman Chalk: THEY GOT IRRATINO!

*****

Child!Logico: Daddy?

Irratino: DO I LOOK-

Logico: *wheezing*

*****

Irratino: What are those?

Logico: Those are my chanclas.

*****

Irratino: Yo, can I have a sip of that water?

Logico: It's not water.

Irratino: It's not?

Logico: It's vodka, PUSS-

*****

Multifandom cuz yes

Science!Sans: *holding a camera while Logico and Surge (human) posed* Alright, can you guys say "Coloradooo"!

Furno: *skis past them* I'M A GIRAFFE!

Surge: *collapses while wheezing*

*****

Breez: Mothertrucker that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick.

Logico:

Logico: Can you like, just curse?

*****

Irratino: *drunk* Back at it again at Crispy Cream's.

Irratino proceeded to do a spin kick, knocked the sign down and flopped onto the floor.

Sci: ... How do you deal with him?

Logico: I don't.

*****

Fanfic: Irratino turned another pocket inside out, and then shook out his sleeves, disgorging a cascade of crumpled papers, candle stubs, and - were those vials of blood?

Me: Irratino, what the FUCK
______

Fanfic: Irratino: "It's a decoder ring. It's for you." Logico: "It's very nice. Thank you?"

Me: Motherfucker he just PROPOSED TO YOU-

*****

Logico: *plays some song on Insta* We're going on a trip in our favourite rocketship.

Surge: GOING 45. WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE.

*****

Mother: WHY IS YOUR REPORT CARD ON THE CEILING?!

Teen!Irratino: You said I should bring my grades up.

Mother:

Mother: I did say that. Let me see.

*****

Savage Planet be like

Stormer: What do we do know, kid?

Rocka: Now, we RUN!

*****

Post dating

Irratino: I got you some things-

Logico: Things? Plural?

Irratino: I know your car has been breaking down lately, so I got you a new one. I also bought some new clothes, a bit of jewelry, AND your favourite flowers.

Logico:

Irratino: I know it's not much, and I'm sorry-

Logico: No no, it's very generous of you. Uhm... I also got you something...

Irratino: Oh?

Logico: *inhales and holds up a Golden Retriever pup* It's really not much-...

Irratino: *le gasp* Oh mah gawd Logico, it's so adorable!!! Oh my god you didn't have toooo...

Irratino: *cuddles the puppy* I'm gonna treasure you forever.

Logico: *internally melting, mentally* What did I do to deserve someone like him?

*****

Logico: *sick in bed* At least some rest.

Irratino: *climbs in through the window*

Logico: What the fuck?

Irratino: I brought you tea, medicine and a weighted blanket.

Logico: ... I have no choice but to accept, huh?

Irratino: Yes.

*****

Fantasy AU

Irratino, immortal: *comes out of a room*

Obsidian, witch: ... Inspector, your neck and shoulder is REALLY fucked up.

Irratino: Mh? *notices the blood staining his shirt and coat* Ah shit, I didn't let it heal properly.

Logico, vampire: *walks out of the same room wiping a speck of blood from his lips* ... Am I interrupting something?

Obsidian: *realizes* Kinky motherfucker.

Logico: Woman, I was hungry!

Obsidian: I can tell.

*****

Bot: *hides his sight with his hand* Okay guys, don't look, but my ex-wife is over there.

His partners: *look to the said woman*

Bot: *sighs*

*****

How Zib teaches martial arts

Zib: Hold the opponent, and go for a dip.

Zib dropped the blank hero in a dip motion from dances.

Zib: Pull them back up, and then swiftly-

Upon pulling it back up Zib turned and threw it into the ground over his shoulder.

Zib: It should render them immobile for a moment, if done hard enough.

*****

Surge: How does Phantom react when he visits you at your bar?

Rocka: Two possibilities. One, when my shift almost ends:

Phantom: *immediately leaves and waits outside*

Rocka: Or two, when I'm still working:

Phantom: *hiding behind the bar*

Rocka: I don't know why he puts himself through that torture.

*****

Highschool AU

Zib: Supernovas are the hottest things in the universe.

Thresher: *from the half open door* Nah, you.

Class: *starts wheezing*

Zib: ... *Sighs*

*****

Future AU

Quadal: Hey Thresher, Zib's husband just arrived.

Thresher: Should I leave?

Quadal: StoObid, you're his husband and his other husband is also your husband!

*****

Irratino: *walks out of a store*

Guy behind him: Hey baby.

Irratino: *without turning around* Hello.

Guy: *confuzzled cuz he thought he was a woman*

*****

Irratino: People in their early twenties still refer adults older than them as adults. When do you think they stop and realize they are adults?

Logico: Shut up, I'm still a child just with a drinking permit.

Irratino: *wheezes* dRinKing PeRMit? So what's that in your sippy cup?

Logico: *takes a sip* Vodka.

(Headcanon: Logico is in his early/middle 20s, while Irratino is in his 30s)

Update: I changed Logico's age to 35, Irratino is 37

*****

They in some creepy ahh haunted mansion

Furno: Whose horse is that?

Breez: That's an axe.
_____

Surge: *gets jumpscared and screams*

Nex: Awoop, jumpscare!

Surge: You're on the internet too much

Nex: I kno.
_____

Stormer: Elevator is not working.

Evo: Open the noor.
_____

Bulk: The rocking chair is moving.

Stringer: Cheese.

Bulk: It stopped. The ghost ran to the fridge.
_____

Rocka: *hears a woman crying*

Ghost Woman: *proceeds to crawl towards him on all fours*

Rocka: *jumps onto a table* IT'S AN ANKLE BITER!!!

*****

Child AU then

Zib: *takes Bulk's hand to cross the road*

Now

Zib: *puts out hand*

Bulk, a grown ass man: *takes it and crosses the road with him*

Yes, I've decided to mash the two fandoms together.
I officially gave up on my original HF ask and dare book.
I'm sorry if some promised dares or questions didn't get answered, I just can't get myself to continue.
So uhmm... yeah.