Part 16

"If Kisses Were Snowflakes, I'd Send You A Blizzard"

(Mithra’s POV)

"Sanjeev... Sanjeev" I shake my hand in front of Sanjeev's face to turn his attention to me from the book he is reading.

"What?" he barks.

"Shhh... Don't shout, Deepa is sleeping" I remind him. We are now in the plane returning back to India.

Karthik came to see off us in the Airport. I felt so bad to leave him. I wanted to stay with him but I know I can't, not because my college's next term is starting in a week but because I need some clarity.

Karthik told me to not get confused with any silly notion but I don't think it's silly feeling like he said or guilt or attraction but something different. What's it? Love? I don't know but surely my feelings for him are deep, hard & strong.

I do feel guilty for divorcing him and I do feel guilty for seeding the fear of marriage in his heart.

He was right, I should have tried to work out our marriage but even now I feel the thought of seeing my Karthik as my husband is unsettling.

I thought if I divorced him, he will move on & get married to some other nice girl who will satisfy all his needs, who will love & care for him but no such thing happened.

Karthik distanced himself from me, from his family, forgot his happiness, forgot to live his life and became a workaholic. I did this to my Karthik and I feel terrible about that.

"What the f**k is your problem, little brat?" Sanjeev snarls.

"I want to ask you something?"

"What?"

"What are the symptoms of 'LOVE'?" I ask him softly

"Symptoms?" he looks at me with ill-concealed disgust.

"Yes." I ask giving an innocent smile.

"Okay. Listen to me carefully." he says. I nod & sit straight to listen to him intently.

"Dizziness. Dizziness is the first symptom of love." He says.

"What?" I ask in shock.

"When you see the person you love you go week on your knees, you feel like you are floating in air. You go unsteady & lose your balance & that's why you keep hugging the person you love to over come the light-headedness. Do you have this symptom?" Sanjeev asks.

"I keep hugging him" I tell. "So I guess I do"

"Hmm... 'Fatigue' is also a symptom of love"

"Really?"

"When you are in love you will indulge in various physical exertion which will wear you out & you will feel so tired and sleepy & in dream also you will see only your love"

"I see him everywhere. Not only in my dream. But what to you mean by physical exertion?" I ask for clarity.

"Physical exertion can be classified into two. On bed & off bed" he says little excited about briefing me on that topic.

"Let's skips this chapter. Tell me the other symptoms" I tell quickly before he go in deep.

"Cravings" Sanjeev tells.

"Huh?" I don't think these are symptoms of love.

"Yes, you crave to see your love & keep him with you always"

"Yes, yes, exactly. I do feel so. I want him all my life" I am now confident that Sanjeev is giving me the right symptoms.

"Then you get nausea or vomiting"

"What the?" I shout.

"Yes, if you are in love you will feel butterflies tingling in your stomach. See, your stomach is very sensitive & you will tend to throw kisses"

Throw kisses? Didn’t he say vomiting?

"No. I don't feel so" I tell him frowning.

"Hmm... you have few of the symptoms but not all... well, you are initial stage of pregnancy" he blurts out

"What? Pregnancy?" I shout.

"Er... Um… I mean initial stage of Love."

"Did you just tell me the symptoms of pregnancy?" I ask suspiciously.

"You are so sharp..." he says sarcastically "...found out verrryyy soon" I guess he is teasing me.Yeah, I am dumb. I admit.

"Well, how do you know all these pregnancy symptoms?" I ask him.

"I was doing research on pregnancy" he shrugs.

"Why?" I ask.

"I want to know whether Deepa is getting all these symptoms or not"

"Why would she get all these symptoms? You both are not married right?" I ask him confused.

"We forgot to use protection when we had sex last time so there is high chance that I mighy have a knocked her up. Oh and What's the connection between sex & marriage?"

"That's a sin" I shriek. They had sex before marriage? Oh God, please forgive these sinful souls. I silently let a praywer.

"You should be outlawed centuries ago, you know." he shakes his head at me for my outdated thinking.

Well, I have certain principles. I wish my Karthik was also a virgin like me but he is not. I sigh sadly.

"Is she pregnant?" I ask him.

"I guess so. She is really getting sensitive & wild too" he tells thoughtfully.

"So what you will do?" I ask him

"I was confused so I asked Karthik for guidance & he told us to get married as soon as possible & have the baby as the innocent baby is at no fault and I know he is right" he tells smiling.

“Karthik love babies." he adds.

"I know" I smile.

"That's why he is tolerating all the shitty tantrums you put, baby brat" he pinches my cheeks little painfully.

I wince & hit his hands to leave me my cheeks.

"So you are falling in love?" Sanjeev asks me after sometime.

"Yeah, but I am little confused." the idea of getting intimate with Karthik is so unsettling.

"Why?"

"He is my friend" I tell him.

"Deeps is also my friend. But now we are lovers, tomorrow we will become parents, and later we will become married couple" he tells casually that friends getting married is no big deal.

"Well, you didn't tell me who your lover is?" Sanjeev asks.

"I will let the whole wide world know when I am ready to confess my love to him." I say with a huge smile.

"Oh you need time to grow up nah, kiddo. Well, take your time but not too long then he might fall out of love or fall in love with another girl who is nicer than you, witch." he laughs. I frown. This is not something to laugh about.

__0__

(Few months later)

It's been months since I returned from Singapore but still I am confused. But one thing I am sure. I love my, Karthik. I want him back in my life. But...but i want to be the best one for him. He should not hesitate to give a second chance to me. I should win him back in my life, by hook or by crook and to achieve that I should play the role of his friend as well as wife, perfectly. But for that I need to get prepared. I need some time for that. Hope Tara can help me.

"Mom, tonight I won't be coming home as I will be staying out" I inform mom.

"What?"

"Don't panic. I am not staying out alone. Tara will be with me."

"But Mithra? We want to..."

“Mom, please. Tomorrow you can. Tonight is mine to enjoy!"

"But where you're gonna stay? At Tara's place?" Mom asks me.

"Nope. We will be staying in the apartment"

"Why you wanna stay there?"

"I feel like staying there"

"You are going mad, Mithra" Mom chides me.

"I am always mad, mom" I grin at her.

"What I will tell your dad?"

"Just copy & paste what I told you now"

"Okay. Come tomorrow morning itself. Don't make us wait, okay." she instructs.

"I will try, Mom" I shout. "Bye"

"Bye"

__0__

"Hey, why you called me here? We could have crashed at your place or mine right?" Tara asks me the moment she enters the apartment where Karthik and I lived when we were living together after marriage.

“Tara, I want to tell you something important" I tell her in a serious tone.

"Don't tell me you are in love" she says. What the hell? Why all are stealing my thunder? Why won't they let me say anything but guess everything so damn right?

"How do you know that?" I ask shocked.

"The glow in your face, the spark in your eyes, and the secret smile on your face clearly says you have finally fallen in love. Tell me who is it?" Oh my! Is it so obvious? Do I look like a love stuck loon?

"You are a genius, Tara" I say in wonder.

"That I am. I have been noticing you for months now." she says proudly. "So?" she asks.

"I... I think... I m in..."

"Wait" she stops me. "Why are you hesitating? Are you having any second thoughts? Are you not clear about your feelings?"

"It's all so new to me. I have never dated anyone. I have never loved a man in my life. I know only one man closely all my life & now I am falling with him"

"You love Karthik? That's why you went to Singapore for last vacation? To meet him and profess your love?" Tara's eyes went wide and her lips stretched even wider into a huge smile. I nod.

"Really?"

"I guess so"

"Oh f**k with your thinking & guessing answers. Say confidently, you love him or not?" she asks excitedly.

"I told him I am falling for him..."

"And? What he said for that?"

“Karthik said I was confused & asked me to clear my mind. So I took my own sweet time to clear my mind & tried lead my life as normal as ever but I failed. I couldn't help fall for Karthik... You know... He is my life... but... but he said lets just be friends..."

"Of course, you are a confused soul and you confused him as well with your uncertain answers. See, he can't take a chance with you when you don't know about your own feelings well. He doesn't want to get hurt by shooting his hopes up high like a sky-rocket."

"Hmm... I don't know whether he still loves me or not?" I tell Tara little worried.

"I think he will always love you."

"Hmm... when I asked he said he still loves me but as a friend. Is that what he wants? Just my friendship now? Doesn't he want nothing more than that?"

"He wanted more with you but you ruined things!" Tara snapped at me.

"Tara..."

"See, even now you are the one who is getting confused between love & friendship but for Karthik both are one. He respects you as a friend & loves you as a lover. Clear?"

That makes sense. He was ready to accept me as his wife because he was able to see me as his friend as well as his wife & he loves both his wife and friend unconditionally. But I was seeing him only as my friend & never tried to accept him as my husband & that's because I was scared of romancing my husband who was also my friend. Oh god!

"Will he take me back in his life?"

"I guess he will" she replies.

"Oh f**k with your thinking & guessing answers. Say confidently, he will or he won't?" I shout throwing her words back at her.

"Go ask him, you bitch" Tara shouts back at me.

"You are here to help me, baboon" I growl at her.

"What?" she asks with attitude.

"Teach me" I reply.

"Teach you what? You are the one who teaches me all subjects? Then what you wnat me to teach you?"

"Teach me the subject in which I am weak"

"Hey, you are a topper unlike me so you don't need my help"

"Ugh! Teach me how to get intimate with my Karthik." I spell it out loud and clear for her.

"Sex education huh?" she asks smirking. "Such an intriguing subject. My favorite" she grins. A goofy grin.

"See, I want Karthik in my life because I can't live without him."

"Oh please. Stop thinking about yourself, always. Think about him & his feelings at least for once. You can't get him back only because you want him or you can't live without him. You can get him back only if he is ready to take you in his life again & that will happen only when he is still madly in love with you."

"I told you right he still loves me and that he himself told me clearly"

"But why didn't he jump in joy when he came to know about your feelings for him?"

"I don't know" I whisper back. Why didn't he take me back? I told I want to stay with him forever but he didn't let me right?

"Maybe he wants to give you some time to come to a conclusion" Tara tells. Maybe?

"I want him. I want to give him all the happiness. I want to express my feelings for him, and this time in a intimate way so that he will understand... um... that I am ready to give myself to him. I want to shower him with my love"

"Alright!"

"For that you need to train me" I tell biting my lips.

"Practical training?" Tara asks grinning.

"Tara!" I admonish her.

"Okay chill. Just kidding! The universal rule to express one's love intimately is through kissing the life out of them."

"I kiss Karthik & he kisses me too" I tell her taking offense.

"See, duffer, there are different types of kiss, different places to kiss, but all the kisses are not same and all the kisses doesn't give the desired effect."

"I didn't get you"

"Well, a father will kiss his daughter on her temple, a brother will kiss his sister right on top of her head, a mother will kiss her daughter on her eyes, nose tip, fingers, toes that's when the girl was a small baby & once the baby grew up she will kiss her daughter on her cheeks but only a lover will kiss on the lips, not a mere peck but he will give a soul scorching kiss to the one he loves dearly. Have you ever kissed Karthik like that or he kissed you like that?"

"No" I shake my head. "Where a husband will kiss?" I ask curiously.

"Everywhere" she winks. I blink at her.

"But mostly, lip kiss - like a simple peck that's mostly a goodbye kiss given by husband to his wife before going to work, nibble nibble - single lip kiss that's when the wife is sleeping, reverse kiss - tilting the wife's head up & kiss her when she was busy watch her favorite show on TV while relaxing on bed or couch by placing her back comfortably on his chest, it's kind of a playful kiss to disturb her and seek her attention, then... necking, that mostly happens when couple's dance on the floor or in bed, you get the picture right?" She winks. I gape at her confused. "Then earlobe kiss - to turn on the wife, cheek kiss, throat kiss, breast kiss, chest kiss, belly kiss..."

Oh my Gosh! How does she has so much knowledge in this topic?

"Whoa! Enough!" I stop her. I don't want her to go beyond that.

"That's a whole lot of kisses" I tell in surprise.

"I could say at least 100 types of kiss, baby" she smiles & kisses my cheek. I laugh.

"But a loving husband will never fail to give his wife a forehead kiss daily night before going to bed" I have felt Karthik kissing me on my forehead when I was asleep daily night when we were living together. Yes, he was such a loving husband.

"I see" I bit my bottom lip again taking in all the information.

"So, you better kiss your Karthik & win him back" Tara says coolly.

"Do you think that will work?" I ask doubtfully.

"Sue me & take me to the court if my 'Kiss-ass' formula failed!" Tara says dramatically.

"Okay? Now tell me how to kiss?" I ask.

"Simple, slam your lips on his, then nibble his lips, coaxing him to give you access to enter his mouth, if he didn't then bite his lips gently, he will gasp and take that chance to sweep your tongue in and then Tango dance... Got it?"

"Yes, Ma'am" I nod my head. No one can teach how to kiss orally with such vivid clarity.

"So what's the next lesson?" I ask her eagerly.

"I'm tired, bitch, so give me a break. More over you can't learn everything in a day, its a very vast subject, tougher that nuclear physics, mind it!" she says seriously.

"Okay. But you will educate me in this subject daily at least for one hour?" I don't know whether my tone sounded like a request or a command but who cares?

"Would love to." she grins.

"I love you, Tara" I smile & hug her.

"I love you too, my bae!" she hugs me back.

"So? What special tomorrow? Party at your home as usual?"

"Hmm... I guess so but I want to stay the night here. You are staying here with me, right?"

"Of course, but will I get to sleep with you on your bed."

"No! You will do something 'eeww' to me. I will sleep in Karthik's room & you can hug my pillows & sleep in my room" I tell & run to my Karthik's room, laughing.

... To be continued!!!

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