Chapter 19

       I was the time of person that didn't care if I missed a day of school. In fact, whenever I was in a bad mood, I tended to skip school because I didn't want to be around anyone. It was really best if I wasn't around anyone when I was in a bad mood.

       Besides, Wilder was always there to calm me down if I snapped at someone, and he wasn't going to school today so there was no point of me going to school if I was just going to blow up at people.

       Mom and Dad didn't know I was skipping. Mom would be okay with it because she knew what my temper was like and that it was best for me not to be around people. That, and I still had high enough grades that skipping school every once in a while wouldn't affect it.

       Not only that, but Dad skipped school all the time. I never got when parents got made at their children for skipping school, even if they did the exact same thing when they were in high school. Cough, Dad, cough.

       I didn't even know where I was going to go. I couldn't stay home because Evelyn was there and she was a little rat that would tell Mom and Dad I skipped school. So I was just driving around the city, thinking of a place to go.

       While it was the time between first and second period, I got a call from Orchid. I was close to a parking lot, so I just pulled into there to answer the call. I had become a lot more careful with driving after since the car accident. Normally, I just answered it on speaker but now, I'd rather pull over to talk to someone.

       "Hello?" I answered.

       "Hey," Orchid said. "I just wanted to know if you were okay since you weren't in class today."

       "I'm okay-ish," I said. "I'm not sick or anything, but I'm not in a good mood and since Wilder won't be there to calm me down, it's best for me not to be around annoying people like Felix. So I am just driving around the city."

       "Need some company?" Orchid asked.

       "Actually, yeah," I said. Orchid and I rarely had time to spend together after school since our dads were melodramatic. My dad wasn't as dramatic right now because of the aftermath of the car crash, but I knew that was going to pass soon.

       "Great, because I want to get out of here," Orchid said. "Janelle is annoying me. And Felix."

       "What are they doing now?" I asked.

       "Well, Nolan is sick, so he's staying home, which means they have no one to bug," Orchid said. "They just keep annoying me by saying things I was honestly ignoring. I don't even remember what they said, but it was annoying. Anyway, can you meet me at the cafe beside the school. I'm thinking I can sneak out now without getting caught, and it will be better to meet me there."

       "Okay," I said. "I'll see you soon."

       After we hung up, I pulled out of the parking lot I was in and headed to the cafe beside the school. Orchid was already waiting there, and she got into the car once I stopped it. "Is everything okay?" Orchid asked.

       I furrowed my eyebrows. "Didn't you already ask that one the phone?"

       "Yeah, but I wasn't looking at you then," Orchid said. "Something's really bothering you, isn't it?"

       I sighed and rested my head back. "I just have a lot going on in my mind."

       "You want to talk about it?" Orchid asked.

       I hate talking about how I was feeling about things, but maybe I actually should for once. Besides, Orchid was my girlfriend and she of all people wouldn't judge me.

       "Yeah," I said. "Anywhere you want to go to talk?"

       "How about the park?" Orchid asked.

       "The one close by?" I asked and she nodded. "Yeah, I'd rather not. That's right beside my father's dojo, so there'll be a high chance that he'll see me."

       "There's a park kind of close to my house," Orchid asked. "We could go there."

       "Okay," I said, so I started up the car and pulled out of the parking lot. Orchid gave me the directions to the park and once we got there, we got out of the car and just walked around.

       We ended up finding a bench we could sit down while we talked. I was really debating telling her every single thing that was bothering me, even the things I never really told everyone.

       It took me a while to say something, and Orchid was just patiently waiting. She didn't tell me to start talking or ask if I was going to say anything. She just sat there and waited for me to talk.

       "So, Wilder isn't doing too well," I said. "His really denying his schizophrenia, which is getting worse whenever we hears voices. He's actually thinking it's real and that someone is trying to talk to him. He went to his psychologist, but that didn't help much. He ended up getting mad, saying how schizophrenia isn't a thing and they're just making it up because it's 'protocol'."

       "Oh, wow," Orchid said.

       "I can't stand seeing him like this," I said. "I told you, I see him as my little brother, and it really hurts me. And there's not really anything we could do about it. If we try explaining to him his condition, he just freaks out at us. We just have to let him be like this, and he could end up doing something harmful to himself."

       "Has your family thought about taking him to a psychiatric hospital?" Orchid asked. "The people who work there would know how to handle it."

       "Honestly, yeah, we have thought about it," I said. "We just don't know if we should actually do it or not. His dad went once when he was young and it helped him so he is leaning towards sending Wilder there, but Wilder is also very young and had just been diagnosed. They don't want to put any pressure on him. That's not the only thing that's bothering. I'm feeling really stressed with everything."

       "Like what?" Orchid asked.

       "Pretending to be someone I'm not," I said. "Pretending that I don't care about anything, when I really care about everything. I hate getting into fights, Orchid. I wish I didn't have to get into fights, but no one else is willing to stand up to those jerks at school. Outside of school, I'm a different person. Completely different."

       "I'm sure you're not too different," Orchid said.

       "I volunteer at an animal shelter," I said. "I love the theatre and I've been in quite a few plays in the city over so nobody here could see me. I know every single Shakespeare play ever. I play the violin and the piano, and I'm learning how to play flute because I really love music. You know my favourite kind of music? Classical. I listen to that all the time; when I'm doing homework, when I'm driving somewhere, when I'm just laying in my room. And I just feel all this pressure to be someone I'm not."

       Orchid didn't say anything for a while. When she finally spoke up, she said, "Atticus, you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not. Who cares what anyone at school will think? People will never stay out of other people's business, and we just have to accept that."

       "It's not that easy," I said. "I'll get ridiculed."

       "For what?" Orchid asked. "Having likes and dislikes? For being human. Because if anything, you saying all that just made you a lot more attractive."

       "Really?" I asked.

       "Uh, yeah," Orchid said. "Seriously, I want to hear you play the piano or violin one day. Or see you in a play. It's who you are, Atticus. I like you for who you are, for the kind and caring person that is constantly standing up to bullying. I fell for you because of your heart, not that persona you carry at school."

       I couldn't help but smile at Orchid. I liked her so much, and her hearing that made me feel a lot better with trying to hide who I was.

       "There's one more thing on my mind," I said. "It's really hard for me seeing Nolan in a wheelchair. My mind just goes back to that day and wonder what I could have done to prevent it."

       "Then you are coming to my house one day," Orchid said.

       "Uh, did you completely ignore what I said?" I asked.

       "Nope," Orchid asked. "You feel guilty, and if you see how Nolan acts at home, you won't feel that way. He's still very happy at home. Well, part of that is because Jerome is staying there, but he always has a smile on his face and he doesn't let it bother him. So tomorrow, you're coming to my house after school."

       "Yeah, I'm pretty sure your dad won't want that," I said.

       "Then I'll get my uncle to tell my dad that we're working on a project for school," Orchid asked. "He can't say no to that."

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Aww, Atticus my love.

Lol, so I just realized all these characters are in three different books with different timelines. There's this book, Always, and Finding My True Self. OMG AND HIGH TIDE. lol

(that moment when i said i was going to spam finish high tide but im not lol)(lol)

It's 12:35 am, but I have to work on the Spotlight update for Radish so I won't be in bed for a while oops. It's okay, because my two younger sisters that are always loud in the morning has a summer camp so they can't be loud to wake me up.