*tiny little trigger warning*

Chapter 25

       I was getting extremely bored waiting in the holding cell at the police station. I just had to wait for Wilder to come by with the bail money so I could finally get out of here.

       I lied to the police officer by saying my parents were out of town and I was staying at my uncle's house. I knew Dax would have been a bit more lenient if he found out I was arrested because he had to deal with my dad being arrested all the time.

       If my dad found out, on the other hand, I would have gotten into a lot of trouble because he was a hypocrite.

       Dax still might have told Dad if he found out, so I was extremely lucky when Wilder was the one to answer the phone. Now, I just had to wait for Wilder to get the bail money.

       Somehow.

       I just hoped this wouldn't get out and my parents would find out about it. But knowing their luck, they would find out.

       The officer on duty soon walked over and unlocked the cell. "Next time you feel angry, try not to smash someone's car window," he said.

       "Then maybe you should arrest that jackass for making crude remarks towards my girlfriend," I said. "Oh, but I forgot. Freedom of speech."

       He sighed. "Atticus, I can't arrest someone for saying something crude towards someone else, as much as I want to. Seriously though. Figure things out with that jackass next time instead of smashing his car window."

       "He had it coming," I said.

       Felix really did have it coming. If he messed with Orchid, or any of the Princes in fact, I was going to repay him in not the friendliest way.

       The officer led me to the front of the police station where it wasn't Wilder waiting.

       It was Jerome.

       "What are you doing here?" I asked.

       "Someone has to drive you home, and Wilder is too young to do it, so I offered," Jerome said. "That, and Wilder wasn't able to get enough money to bail you out and he started freaking out, so I paid the bail."

       "Great," I muttered sarcastically before walking out of the police station.

       "So....No thank you?" Jerome asked as he followed me.

       "Thank you, for making me feel even more guilty," I said. "I really appreciate it."

       "Whoa, what are you going on about?" Jerome asked. "Seriously, don't feel guilty about me offering to pay the bail. I get paid a lot from vlogging so it doesn't bother me at all, and I'm definitely not going to make you feel like you have to pay me back, because you don't."

       "That makes me feel even more guilty."

       "For what? There's nothing to feel guilty about."

       "Yeah, whatever. Where's your car?"

       Jerome didn't even question me before leading me to his car. As we were getting our seat belts on, Jerome said, "I'm serious. You don't have to pay me back at all."

       "All I'm hearing is 'Feel more guilty'."

       "Okay, what are you feeling guilty about?" Jerome asked. 

       "Nothing," I said. "Absolutely nothing."

       Jerome started up the car and pulled out of the parking lot before driving to the Princes' house. I told Orchid to take my car there when I was getting arrested so it wouldn't be left in the parking lot of the cafe.

       I just hoped she wouldn't be mad at me for getting arrested.

       "Is it because of Nolan that you're feeling guilty?" Jerome asked. "Because if it is, don't. He doesn't blame you at all. Yes, he hates being paralyzed and yes, he has been upset about it recently, but he does not blame you at all."

       "How can you be so sure?" I asked.

       "Because he specifically told me he doesn't blame you," Jerome said.

       "He could be lying."

       Jerome snorted. "Right. Nolan is a horrible liar. Anyone could tell when he's lying, and he was fully truthful when he said he doesn't blame you. Look, Nolan isn't good at hiding his feelings. If he really did blame you, he would be ignoring you all the time, but he's not. He probably would be glaring at you to, but he doesn't."

       "That still doesn't make me feel better. I was the one driving the car, and he can't walk at all. He's going to miss out on a lot."

       "Not really, no. He's going in for surgery next week."

       "What?"

       "Nolan is going in for surgery on Wednesday," Jerome said. "And the doctors are really confident that it will go successfully. He'll still be in a wheelchair for a bit longer because he'll have to go to physio and get used to walking again, but he will be able to walk."

       "Seriously?"

       "Yes, seriously. Okay, I'm going to admit, if I was the one driving the car and the exact same scenario happened, I would be blaming myself too. It's natural. Someone was extremely hurt and you feel like you could have done something more to stop it. But you couldn't, so you really shouldn't blame yourself."

       I sighed and leaned my head back against the seat. "It doesn't help that I had to witness his breakdown not too long ago."

       "Is that why you've been feeling guilty again?" Jerome asked. 

       "You should have heard the things he said," I said. "Things like how useless he feels, how he can't do anything or go anywhere without someone helping him."

       "Atticus, dude, I've heard him say worse," Jerome said. "A lot worse. That is nothing compared to what he normally says when he breaks down."

       "When he breaks down?" I repeated. "What, is it normal?"

       "Pretty much," Jerome said. "I probably shouldn't be saying this, but I think it's fair for you to know after everything you've done for him. The way he acts isn't because of him being bullied because he's gay. He could honestly care less about what people think about his sexuality now. He has anxiety, and it's really bad. Not only that, but he also has depression and we think there's something else he has because he's also very dependent on me. I don't mind at all, but there definitely is something else."

       "Oh, wow," I said. "That's even worse than I thought. Alan told me that he used to self harm and tried....you know, a few times. I didn't know he also had mental illnesses." Though I should have been able to guess that....

       "Yeah, but he's getting through it," Jerome said. "It's a struggle, yes, but I love him and I'll never give up on him, even if he wants to give up. Anyway, the whole point of me telling you that is so you know Nolan overthinks a whole lot, and he's quite emotionally unstable. Yet, with all that, he doesn't blame you at all for him being paralyzed. And if that doesn't convince you otherwise, I don't know what will."

       I didn't say anything else, but I think Jerome actually got through to me. Nolan was going through a whole lot, a lot more than I ever thought and he never once blamed me for him being paralyzed.

       It really wasn't my fault.

_______________

Yee, Jerome, you're the best. <3

GUYS, so it's 12:18 am here, so when I wake up, I'll be updating Always first BUT I'll be updating Dedrick right after. IT'S LONG AWAITED.

And then Sunday, VIGOR WILL GET UPDATED. JUST MAKE SURE YOU SPAM MY PROFILE, OR COMMENT ON MY BOOKS, SO I REMEMBER AND FORCE MYSELF TO. I might also do Being True on Sunday, lol. 

I think for the books I usually take a long time to update, I'll pick a day and it will always be updated on that day during the week. So that will be Dedrick, Vigor, Being True aaaaaand I think that's it. cx I'll go check. Lol oops, and The Secret of Xavier. cx I would say The Beginning too, but that book I always end up spam updating, then taking a while, then spamming again so we gucci.