Happiness. Serenity. Joy. Emotions I barely knew through most of my life, only experienced when being destructive toward something or myself... as well as the one time I played with baby Gold... In that house, these emotions did not exist, but when that door opened, and two young girls entered the dark underground room, a spark of mild happiness lit inside of me.

I was free. However, my trust was less than evident. How did I know my younger sisters were not going to bring me back to mama and papa? Or maybe they'd keep me a secret to abuse me themselves. The possibilities of my continued torment were endless... but the thoughts began to dwindle as Gold and Gemstone cared for me, tried to restore my health, showed me the love that I had never experienced from anybody... all doubts about them were gone when they told me their feelings toward our parents, and about their baking.

Even though my misery, rage, and madness are still very dominant, I'd be a fool to say I don't feel joy. Since my escape, I've felt many positive emotions that were previously absent, and I... I like it. When my waves of depression hit me hard, I want nothing more than to find a way to bring the happiness back. Even though my soul is dead, my heart is still very much alive.

My dear family and friends, the latter I also consider family, make me smile almost constantly, and when the depression hits, they do everything they can to cheer me up. It works most of the time. Smile's and Bubble have a one hundred percent success rate so far. The two make a great pair when it comes to performing, telling jokes that don't make sense, singing silly songs that Bubble only knows half the words to, and dancing ludicrously around the room. I laugh and clap to show that I enjoyed their attempt to chase the tears away.

Gemstone and Gold have a little trouble with the task because they too have a great amount of sadness in their hearts, all caused by our retched parents. They don't have nearly as much energy as Smile's and Bubble, but when they do succeed, they do it with style. Instead of "taking the stage" themselves like Bubble and Smile's, they bring me into the fun. We'll dress each other up, usually in ridiculous clothing that doesn't suit us, and pretend to be somebody else, sort of like... roleplaying. Gemstone's character is Sir Finklebottom the Third, and he is very pompous, demanding elegant cuisine and music played in his honor. He lives in luxury, and is a narcissist, so he carries a mirror around to admire his own reflection.

Gold is Lillian Trottingham, and she is a confident, though rather clumsy, Girl of the Evening. She struts around in her provocative dress, trying to seduce Sir Finklebottom, but as soon as she is about to lure him in, she ends up tripping and breaking something, which makes him turn up his nose and walk away. Each time this happens, Lillian says angrily, "he won't come up and see me this time." It's like her catch phrase, and it's cracks me up every time.

Then there's my character, Miss Fortune, a street gypsy that offers to tell passing people their future using her crystal ball for money. However, she's not a Seer at all, but a witch, and anything she says to her crystal ball comes true. She uses this power to make her customers experience hardships and calamity for the rest of their lives. For all of the pain she causes, she grows ever stronger, and has become obsessed with power. Even so, she seems to have developed a soft spot for Lillian, so she tries to use her abilities to make her more successful. For some reason, this never works, only having the ability to cause chaos, though she tries to find a way around it.

We'll play these characters for hours, and the others will play multiple side characters to develop the story, which is even more fun. Sometimes we include our 'friends' too, but only if our skits call for a death. We'll dress them up, give them a name, and they always play their parts so well! They scream, "please don't hurt me!" without even needing a cue! Our skits bring me much joy, and it's perfect to play in the huge abandoned castle we're hiding in.

Bad Apple and Apple take things in a different direction. There are two things that Bad Apple is doing with Apple; teaching her how to fight, and also trying to build up her spirituality. Two completely different things, yet they can be used at the same time. My other sisters join me as the girls' audience, observing the lessons while Apple learns by practice. Bad Apple teaches her fighting moves that her old friend in Manhatten taught her, doing it in slow motion, and then letting Apple try it on her. Apple is always worried about hurting her cousin, but Bad Apple just laughs and says, "I can take it."

When it comes to spirituality, Bad Apple is an expert. She said that it took her some time to figure out, and at times it was hard to implement, but after ending her bullies, it all clicked. She describes spirituality in a non-religious sense, which I am glad about; I had had enough religion back at the rock farm to last a lifetime. No, instead of utter bullshit, Bad Apple explains practical things, ways to connect to yourself and the world around you, how to experience things instead of using your senses. In fact, this was what she had demonstrated when she was playing with one of our 'special friends'.

The Third Eye is often related to religious practices, but Bad Apple explains you don't need religion to open it. All you need is yourself. She tells us in depth on how to listen to music, how to tell what a person is like just by looking into their eyes, how to sleep in such a way so you always feel rested upon waking, and how to see with your eyes closed, using your Third Eye to guide you. It's fascinating, and Apple has been getting really good at it. Bad Apple actually told me that I was the closest to opening my Third Eye before any of the others, because I can tell when a person is lying or not. This made me feel proud, and I rarely feel any pride at all.

Of course, there are the times when all seven of us are just hanging out, even if I'm not sad, and this makes me smile anyway. We laugh and play, discuss methods, and Apple plays her guitar as we make up new songs. She's gotten very good, and her fingers have become decently stronger from strumming the steel strings. When not writing new songs, we sing Smile's "Smile" song, sometimes changing the lyrics to suit each one of us individually. My first verse and chorus goes like this:

My name is Frost Breaker
And I am here to say
I'm going to make you scream and bleed
And I'll take your life away
It doesn't matter why
Just accept that you will die
Because playing with your life is just
What pleases Frost's eyes
Because I love it when I smile, smile, smile
Yes I do
It fills my heart with brightness to beguile
Yes it does
Because all I really need's a smile, smile, smile
For these loving friends of mine

I think it has a nice combination of hate and violence, as well contentment and peace. It's like sprinkling a pinch of salt on fruit to enhance the sweet flavor. That brings me to the other thing that makes me happy...

When my madness festers inside of me, aching to release itself, nothing brings me more joy than to let it out nice and slow when playing with my 'friends'. Then, at that moment when I know the person is about to fail, I unleash the remaining insanity full force, letting it overtake me, spilling as much as I can. The more that stains my clothes, the happier I feel, and when at last it's time to wash it off, nothing is more serene than watching ribbons of crimson rise off of my clothes and dissipate in the water... So very soothing...

I guess even the most damaged of souls can find happiness in their lives. Often times, I wish I were dead, but keeping my heart beating is less difficult when the universe truly treats you right. There are moments when I feel I do not deserve to be happy, but somehow, this satisfies me, knowing that I'm getting what I'm not supposed to have. Perhaps... life isn't so bad after all.