You know I'd never hurt youse right?

So don't hurt me.

Jacks words played pinball in her head as she was pushed on to Spencer's bed. She didn't want to do this, she didn't want to hurt Jack. She just wanted Spencer to be happy, that's all. How could she say this? She was so stupid to think she could come here and just be friends with Spencer, obviously friends was out of the option. She felt like a used piece of paper, written on, torn, and tossed to the ground. She didn't want to love Spencer, she was in love with Jack for goodness sake! She did not want to end up like Laura Lay Anderson but Spencer was so much like Jack it made her hurt. He kissed like Jack did, he touched her like Jack did. That was it though, he wasn't actually Jack. Jack was somewhere out side selling his papers absolutely unaware of what was happening, she couldn't let this continue.

"Spencer, stop." She mumbled against his lips. He ignored her and hiked her skirts up farther. "Ryan... stop." The way she said his real name made his hands freeze on her legs. "Please don't put me in this position." She pleaded.

"I'm sorry." He said his body hovering inches above hers. "I just... I just need you."

"I know, but..." she trailed off.

"Just let me... let me kiss you. That's all I want." He said grabbing the side of her face softy.

Katherine closed her eyes and let him kiss her, how different her life was now then it had been three years ago. Three years ago (before the strike) she had expected her life would go like this: Grow up, marry a millionaire of her fathers choice, eventually have a kid and grow old wallowing in her own misery. Instead her life had gone like this: She'd fallen in love, defied her father, lost her virginity when she was 18, been living with her boyfriend, and she was now caught between two men (who happened to be brothers) and they both wanted her. Katherine grew up being ignored in her house, if you weren't married or filthy rich you weren't important. She'd hardly had any sort of physical touch until she'd met Jack, so once she discovered the wonders of intimate touch she'd taken it a step farther and that was when she'd lost her virginity. Of course she didn't regret one thing, she was far happier now then she was then. But her point was that she suddenly had more men in her life than ever before. Sure she'd alway had her father but they'd never been real close, and she did have Bill and Darcy who were her good friends to this day but never in her life had she had two men who wanted her. She should have been flattered but she wasn't, she was just confused.

"If you just... let me kiss you... it would make me the happiest guy in the world." Spencer said between kisses. Oh great, he found her weakness: His happiness.

"What... about... Jack?" She asked she too had to talk between his kisses. His lips moved to her neck so she could breath.

"I won't say anything unless you do." Spencer muttered against her jaw.

"No! That would be cheating!" She hissed.

"What are you doing right now?" He asked his lips moving to her collar.

"No!" She hissed at him forcing the thought away. She felt him smirk against her collar and his lips moved lower, his lips grazed the top of her dress and his hands came up to her side just under her arms. He kissed the skin just above her dress and moved to go lower but she grabbed his head to stop him. "No." She said pulling him back up. He sighed and went back to her lips. His hands stayed where they were and his thumbs ran up and down over her rib cage. His hands got a little friendly but she kept them in check as she let him kiss her.

Your not cheating on Jack she thought to herself. Your simply giving a friend a hand...

OR YOUR LIPS! Her Conscious screamed. She could tell it wasn't very happy with her. She wasn't sure how long she laid there making out with Spencer, it had to of been well over and hour because her lips were staring to get tired. Once or twice Spencer snuck his tongue into her mouth but mostly he focused on her lips, he kept muttering things he loved about her. The smell of her hair, the taste of her lips, the glow of her smile... things like that. After a while he got up off her and brought her with him and cradled her against his chest. Katherine yawned and laid her head on his chest, she was super tired. She'd had a crazy day yesterday and she hadn't exactly gotten much sleep last night.

"What time is it?" She asked feeling tired.

"Er... 9:30 ish?" He guessed by the light coming from outside. "Why?" He asked sounding nervous that she was gonna leave.

"I have to meet Jack for lunch at 11." She said listening to the beat of his heart.

"Oh, how sweet." He said sarcastically and held her to his chest more tightly.

"Your not gonna drug me and take me prisoner again are you?" Katherine asked raising her head to look at him. He smirked and kissed her softly letting his lips linger on her before answering.

"Not unless you want me to." He said pulling her lips apart with his thumb. She didn't answer him she only laid her head back against his chest. After a minute or two she got up off him and stretched her muscles, she was still sore but it seemed to be slightly better. It didn't make her feel any less guilty though.

"How are your knees?" Spencer asked his eyes running down her body to rest on the red fabric of her skirts. She was a little surprised by his question she'd almost forgotten about him wrapping them up.

"Oh there good." She said her hand going down to touch one knee.

"Can I take a look?" Spencer asked patting the seat next to him.

"As long as you promise not to look at anything else." She said narrowing her eyes at him.

"Promise." He said with a chuckle. She sat down on the bed and he got down on his knees in front of her. She helped pull the fabric up over her scarred knees for him. They were still red and scrapped but it had scabbed over and it didn't really hurt anymore. "What happened to your bandages?"

"Oh Jack took them off last night when we..." she trailed off deciding it was best not to tell Spencer that. "He took them off because they were feeling better and I didn't want them on." She said in a rush.

"Oh." He said running his fingers over the scabbed skin. Katherine shifted on the bed feeling her guilt slowly eat away her insides. This was so wrong, she knew it was wrong. So why couldn't she stop?

"So... why aren't you at work?" Katherine asked quickly, she felt the need of a subject change.

"Cause you showed up." He said looking at her like it was obvious. She felt -almost against her will- a blush creep into her cheeks at his words. "Heck, I'd miss the end of the world if you wanted me too."

"No, Spencer." Katherine said "Don't say that, your just making this harder on me."

Spencer ran his cold hands down her leg and brought her skirts with them. He seemed to be choosing his next words carefully.

"I'm sorry, I just want you to know that I would do anything for you." He said. He sounded so sure Katherine believed him, he really was in love with her. And it was going to kill her someday.

"I know you would." She said almost sadly. "But I wish you wouldn't. I wish you didn't feel this way about me!"

"Why?" He asked standing up so he could hold the side of her face in his hand.

"Because... I'm afraid I feel the same way about you."

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Authors Note- Is it bad that I almost ship Spencer with Katherine? Yes it is. Oh great. Sorry if this chapter was a little painful to read, I felt like you really needed to see what Katherine was going through. Please comment your thoughts! I own nothing.