Katherine woke up feeling groggy and tired. It seemed her eyes had decided to glue themselves shut because she had to blink a few times before she could open them. She was laying on something warm and solid, the room was dimly lit so that must of meant it was early morning. Her head swam sickeningly and Katherine felt like she had been drugged again. She then remembered what had happened the night before and her insides turned to jello. She squeezed her eyes shut and wrapped her arms tighter around Spencer's bare chest. How could she of been so stupid? That had surly not been what she wanted. Right? If it had been she would not be feeling the way she was now. She'd made a horrible mistake in choosing to sleep with Spencer, she felt awful. Then again it wasn't a whole lot different from what she'd been feeling for the last two weeks so maybe...

No Katherine her conscience said sternly, this is different and you know it.

She did know it she was just to proud to admit it. She let her fingers dance across Spencer's chest and she allowed herself one minute to admire him. He really was a gentle giant, he didn't want to be big and mean like everyone expected him to be. He just wanted to be himself, and to not have to hide who he really was. Katherine could relate in many ways, one being her job was the most sexist one out there. One minute the men are praising your work and the next their throwing it in the garbage for not being "good enough" Katherine was sick of people like that.

Spencer's hand came up to her back and he gently ran his cold hand down the plains of her back. She shuttered outwardly at his cold touch, once again she was amazed that his body could be so warm and yet his hands were like blocks of ice.

"Why are your hands always so cold?" He asked mumbling into his chest. He laughed and Katherine couldn't help but love the way it sounded in her ears.

"My dad always had cold hands too, guess it runs in the family." He said softly rubbing his hand across her back. She was silent for a minute thinking of what she should say, what should she say? She wanted to say 'oh hey, I love you and all but not as much as I do Jack so I'm gonna leave now.' No, she couldn't say that.

"You didn't drug me did you?" She asked. He laughed again and she wrapped her arms more tightly around him.

"Nope, it was completely your decision." He said gently. She hated that he was right, it had been her decision last night. He had even offered her an out but she had dismissed it. She was such a stupid little girl, she wished things could be less complicated. She wished she'd never met Spencer... or Jack for that matter. It seemed they would both be better off with out her, she was a train wreck nobody could clean up.

"I wish I never met you." Katherine said feeling miserable. It was a slap in the face for him but he needed to hear it.

"Well... I'm sure glad I met you Katherine. I don't even want to think about where I would be if you hadn't strolled into that station a month ago." He said moving her hair to one shoulder. Had it only been a month? It felt like it had been years to her.

"You were such a jerk a first." Katherine said lifting her head up so she could look at him.

"I was a jerk." He agreed "I was so pissed at Jack I couldn't think straight. He already had every thing I wanted and then when I found out he had you.... You did something to me Katherine, I don't know what it was but it was something."

"Maybe it was the way I bossed you around, it sure seemed to do the trick with Jack." She joked. Spencer's green eyes sparkled at her.

"Maybe, or maybe it was the way you stood up and fought for what's yours. I'd never met a girl who defended her man as much as you had." He said his eyes full of admiration and respect. "And your beautiful face seemed to help a little." He added.

Katherine rolled her eyes and set her head back on his chest. She was so screwed up she didn't know if she'd ever be back to normal again.

"I don't know why you love me, I'm so messed up I don't know how you do it." Katherine said feeling her guilt move to her chest.

"Your not messed up, your just at a crossroad. I know you'll make what ever decision your heart tells you and I'll still love you either way." He said kissing her head softly.

"You realize by saying that you make me want you even more?" She asked groaning into his chest. She felt him shrug and Katherine felt her head might explode with emotion. She started banging her head against his chest in response.

"I... hate... my... life!" She groaned with every hit to his chest. Spencer just laughed at her which didn't make her feel any better.

"Easy there, your head is a lot harder than it looks." He said grabbing her face and holding it in his hands. His words triggered something in Katherine's memory, something from three years ago. Teddy Roosevelt had said something to Pulitzer, something along the lines of 'There's only one thing worse then having a hard heart, and that's having a soft head.'

Did Katherine have a soft head? Was her love for Spencer coming from cloudy thoughts? What about her heart? Did she feel something for him in there? Or had her heart turned to stone over the past month? Spencer noticed her change in expression and frowned.

"Are you okay Kath?"

Katherine sat up suddenly her eyes going wide from realization.

"That's it." She said slapping his chest none to gently.

"What's it?" He said rubbing his chest grudgingly.

"I've been so blind!"

"Katherine stop talking riddles... its scaring me." He said grabbing her hips. He rolled her eyes at him and leaned back down to kiss him hard on the mouth. How could the mighty Spencer be afraid of her? She was pretty sure he could lift a carriage with his bare hands and he was scared of her? She tended to have that effect of people.

'Your not really scared of my father' her conscience reminded her 'Nah, but I am pretty scared of you.' It was reminding her of Jack and that night up on the roof, the night she had fallen for him.

"I have to talk to Jack." She said to Spencer and climbed off of him.

"Why?"

"Because... I have a soft head and a hard heart." She said pulling her skirt back on. Her heart was pounding with anticipation and she finally felt like herself again.

"How is Jack gonna help with that?" He asked.

"Ryan, please understand." She pleaded and started buttoning her blouse back up.

"Understand what? You have a soft head and a hard heart? What does that mean?"

"It means I need to change that."

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Authors Note- I seriously have like the whole book already written... I really should make you guys wait longer... but it's killing me that you guys don't know what's happening and I do so... there you have it. Tell me what you think of Katherine's choice... and her thoughts... enjoy. I own nothing. Thx