The past few weeks I've been alienating myself even more, if possible, from the group. I rarely come out of my room and when i do its usually only to get water or a light snack. I haven't been getting scolded as much but i still dont get the affection and praising i so dearly crave.

I wouldn't be as sad about all of this if they actually bothered to ask if i wanted to go places or do things with them. They don't even bother anymore. Hoseok is the only one that actually makes an effort to talk to me. All the other members do when i come out is either ignore me or say hi.

It really hurts to know how your "friends" really feel about you.

I also haven't been sleeping very well. On the rare occasion i do get some sleep its always interrupted by a nightmare of some sort. Its usually my thoughts that keep me up. Whether I'm overthinking things or thinking about what i could've done better that day (which is usually everything), it keeps me awake.

I envy how well Jin gets sleep. As soon as his heas hits the pillow he's out cold.

I've also lost a significant amount of weight. Our manager said I'm doing good but i need to lose a bit more. He got me a gym membership and I've been regaining some muscle. Even though i have to cut back on food intake, its worth it.

I was currently in my studio, working on some new songs. I heard the door open and turned to see Hoseok. "Um... Hyung..." I hummed. "Can you come out please? The guys and i wanna talk to you..."

"...Yeah in a minute."

"No hyung. Now." I sighed in annoyance.

"Fine." So we walked out to the practice room. The guys were there, looking nervous as ever. "Whats going..."

"Yoongi we need to talk to you." Namjoon started. "We've noticed you've been really asocial lately. Not coming with us to do things, not eating meals with us, you get the idea."

"Your point is?"

"We want to know why. You're our friend and band mate so we wanna know whats wrong." I scoffed.

"Of fucking course..." I mumbled walking out of the room, leaving six confused boys. "Of course they wanna know whats wrong, they don't even know they're doing it! They don't even know that they're the fucking problem..." I muttered as i reached my studio. I quickly packed up my things and rushed out before they could come and talk to me again.

I realized i was out in public and pulled a mask out. There was one place on my mind.