Chapter 3: Control

I was busy taking selfies when Hando stormed in the room. Isang madilim na tingin ang pinukol niya sa akin kaya alam kong hindi naging maganda ang pag-uusap nila ni Kristan.

"That guy just went through transition," he told me as if I didn't know. "Hindi pa niya kayang kontrolin ang sarili and you have the guts to take him as your personal guard?"

I scrolled through the selfies I just took. Matagal na rin simula nung nag-post ako ng selfie sa social media. My fans are dying for content.

"Nathalia Cardinal!" My manager's voice roared.

"That's the reason you are here. Fix him," I said without growing a glimpse at him.

"W-what?"

I smiled after I posted the picture. I just watched the reactions go wild but didn't bother scrolling through the comments. The last time I did, I read something horrible comments and it ruined my entire week. That's why I avoid reading topics about myself as much as possible. Unless Hando sends me one which is always about the media praising me. I love it.

"Drop him now," Hando sighed. "I will find you a better one. I promise that."

"Nah."

I put my phone down as I stood up.

"How can he protect you if he can't even control himself!" he blurted out. "This is ridiculous, Miss Cardinal. He even looks like a kid!"

I smirked at him. "My eyes beg to differ. Where's he?"

Nilagpasan ko siya saka na lumabas ng kwarto. Naabutan ko si Kristan sa sala at nakatingin na naman sa labas ng malaking bintana.

"How are you?" I asked.

I heard him sigh.

"The smell of his blood was so inviting. I couldn't stop myself." Humarap siya sa akin. Isang tipid ang ngiti sa kanyang labi. "I'm really sorry."

I nodded. "My manager will fix it."

Napakamot sa batok si Kristan. "I'm really sorry, Hando. Pangakong hindi na ito mauulit pa."

"Hindi ka maaaring umalis dito nang ganyan." Napailing pa si Hando saka bumuntonghininga. "You need to learn to control yourself first."

Bumaling ako sa wall clock. I think I have a scheduled event later.

I turned to Hando. "I can go there myself."

Kumunot ang noo niya. "What do you mean?"

"I have a photoshoot later. Ikaw na muna ang magbantay rito kay Kristan."

He gawked at me. "No, you are not saying that."

"Kailangan may maiwan rito para magbantay—"

"That's not my job!" sigaw niya sa akin.

"I am fine here alone," Kristan said. "Hindi na ako lalabas."

"Okay..." I smiled.

"W-what?" Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Hando. "Maiiwan siya ritong mag-isa? Tapos kapag may nangyari na namang hindi maganda ay ako ang guguluhin ninyo?"

I frowned. "Stay here, then."

Saka na ako pumasok sa kwarto ko. Naabutan kong umiilaw ang cell phone kong pinatong ko sa night stand. Sa malayo pa lang ay nakita ko na ang pangalan ng tumatawag.

I sighed as I answered the call.

"Is that true? That you are back?" Dylan asked over the phone.

Hinawi ko ang kurtina pero nung matutok sa akin ang araw ay agad ko rin 'yong binaba. Lumapit ako sa kama saka na lang umupo roon.

"Nathalia?"

"Guess your source is legit," I said.

"You really getting good at hiding from the paps huh? You didn't even tell me!"

I frowned. "Why would I tell you?"

I didn't even tell my manager until like a few days ago. What makes him think I have time to inform him? He's not that special. I don't even know where he got my phone number.

He cleared his throat. "Later, then?"

"I have a photo shoot."

"After that?" He groaned. "I missed you!"

I cringed. As long as I remember, we don't interact that much. Pero lagi niya akong bukambibig sa mga interview sa kanya kaya tuloy inisip ng mga tao na may namamagitan sa aming dalawa. Well... he's a high profile, too. Dylan Carter is an American singer and songwriter. He is a superstar who rose to stardom at young age. That's all I know. I don't even listen to his music.

"Hestia and Kathlysse will be there, too," he added.

"Kathlysse?" I furrowed my brows.

"Yep. She just returned from Paris this morning. I was confused at first because I heard that she was going to take a magazine photoshoot there, but when I found out that you are back. I just realized why."

Oh. Mukhang naantala ko ang photoshoot niya nung sinabi kong babalik na ako. Well... that opportuntity has always been mine. She was just there as my replacement. Now that I am here, I would rather do things myself.

"So... are you going?"

I nibbled my bottom lip. Ang plano ko pa naman ay uuwi rin agad dahil kailangan kong makabawi sa stressed na dinala sa akin ng mga kapatid ko.

Sa gilid ng mga mata ko ay napansin kong bumukas ang pinto. Pumasok si Kristan na hanggang ngayon ay nakasimangot pa rin. Mukhang hindi pa rin sila nagkasundo ni Hando.

"Puwede ba akong sumama?" tanong niya.

"Wait. Who's that?" Dylan asked. "Are you with Hando?"

I ended the call.

"No," simple kong sagot. "Hando is right, Mr. Admiral. You better stay here until you learn how to control yourself. Trust me. The outside world won't tolerate your ignorance."

Napayuko naman siya saka napatango.

"Where's Hando?" tanong ko.

"He left. Babalik na lang daw siya mamaya."

I sighed. "Take a rest."

Tumayo ako saka lumabas ng kwarto. Nakasunod sa akin si Kristan hanggang sa makapunta akong kusina. Kumuha ako ng mansanas saka isang supot ng dugo. Ginamit ko ang blender para paghaluin ang dalawa.

"What's the photoshoot?" he asked.

After blending the apple and blood, I poured in a wine glass for two. Saka ako lumapit kay Kristan na nakaupo sa stool sa kitchen table.

"Is that your job?" he questioned.

Did I fail to remind him that I hate questions so much? That's the reason why I don't attend interviews too. My lips don't know how to filter words.

Binigay ko sa kanya ang isang wine glass saka ako umupo sa katapat na stool. I sipped on my drink as I stared at him. Hinalo niya ang inumin gamit ang daliri saka dinilaan 'yon.

"It's good," he smiled.

"I'm a model. I do photoshoots," I answered as I sipped on my drink. "You see, Kristan. You are not serving an ordinary vampire. Well, Cardinals are far from ordinary anyway."

"I know," he grinned. "Your brothers look intimidating."

I chortled as I sipped on my drink again. I didn't know they also intimidated him. He looked so casual in front of them.

"So... you are a model."

"A super one."

"That means a lot of people admire you."

I sighed. "Not just admire. Some would do anything just to get near me..."

Natigilan siya sa pag-inom. He looked surprised with his lips slightly parted. Humans are really easy to catch off guard. What's so surprising about what I stated?

"Are you in danger? Kaya kailangan mo ng tulong ko?"

Now, he sounded so scared for his life.

"I don't think so," I sighed. "It's the other way around."

Sinimot niya ang ginawa kong inumin. That suddenly urged me to do it often. This is my favorite drink and Hando finds it disgusting. But I guess I found someone who shares the same taste as mine. Fuck Hando!

"Hando will tell you everything you need to know."

"What do I need to know?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "The things that will make you live longer."

He stared at me with full of scrutiny. I didn't try to intervene with his thoughts this time. Hindi pa rin niya kayang itago ang mga tumatakbo sa isipan niya kaya mas mabuti na lang na hindi ko malaman.

"H-how am I your slave? Can't we just be friends?"

"Huh?"

"I mean... slave sounds—"

"I am done here."

Tumayo na ako saka nilagay sa sink ang pinag-inuman. Pumasok na ako sa kwarto ko. Hindi na rin sumunod sa akin si Kristan pero kinandado ko pa rin ang pinto.

I have twenty minutes more to chill.

I went to the far side of my room. Tinulak ko ang cabinet kung saan may nakatagong isang pintuan. Pumasok ako roon. Agad na nanuot sa balat ko ang lamig.

This is my sacred place. It's just like an ordinary room, but a freezing one. There's nothing but a white single bed in the center of this dimmed room.

I took all my clothes off as I lay down in bed.

I am not planning to take that man as a slave for the rest of my life. I just need a little change for now. Also, my brothers got me curious about how it feels to have a slave. They made it look fun. I love fun things.

One day... I will also set him free.

After lying there for almost half an hour, I went out and prepared everything for the photoshoot later. Pagkatapos kong mag-ayos ay lumabas na rin ako ng kwarto. Saktong naabutan kong papasok si Hando.

"My assistant is outside and waiting for you. Siya muna ang sasamas sayo," aniya habang lumilinga sa paligid. "Where is the guy?"

"Probably on the second floor and reading books." Bumaba sa malaking kahon na dala niya ang tingin ko. Yumuko ako para silip ang maliit na butas. "What's that?"

He smiled. "Nothing..."

"Is that a cat?" I sniffed.

"You should go now, Nathalia."

Inirapan ko na siya saka lumabas. Naabutan ko ang isang babae na nakatayo sa gilid ng elevator. Maagap niyang pinindot ang button kaya sa pagtapat ko pa lang ay bumukas na agad ito.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror wall of the elevator. I was wearing a small heart-shaped pendant necklace. This may seem like just expensive jewelry, but it's literally the heart of my career. Without this necklace, I wouldn't appear on the screen of their modern technology.

Without my heart necklace, I am not the lady in red.

Binaba ko na ang shades ko nung tumunog ang elevator. I walked out of the elevator confidently while ignoring all the stares from the employees. Sa labas ay nakaabang ang isang itim na limousine car.

Before I even got in the car, I waved at the paparazzi waiting outside the hotel. Hindi sila magkamayaw sa pagkuha ng litrato sa akin.

Kinuha ko ang cell phone ko sa bulsa pagkapasok ng sasakyan.

"The security of the building sucks," I texted Hando.

Huminga ako nang malalim. As much as I enjoy the attention this world is giving to me, I hate it when I see people hovering around the place where I stay in.

Napatingin ako sa bukalya ng bulaklak na nasa tabi ko. Kinuha ko 'yon saka binasa ang note.

"Welcome back, Nath. See you!" from Dylan.

I rolled the window down and threw it outside.

Pagkarating ko sa venue ay buti na lang wala gaanong sumalubong sa akin. They know me. Kaya kong atrasan ang isang event gaano man ito kalaki kapag may hindi ako nagustuhan. This is not even an event. It's just a photoshoot. I don't see any reason for this to be open for public.

Agad akong binihisan pagdating ko roon. Of course, everything is red. I only accept invitations from red companies. I am good with anything, as long as my favorite color is in it.

Imagine seeing Nathalia Cardinal in a black dress?

Not to brag about my wealth, but I am wealthier than these companies. Why do I still accept the jobs? Because I love seeing my images on huge billboards scattered around the city. I love it when I am the reason why men are frustrated because they can never have me.

Wearing the red clothing of the company, I stood in front of the camera and graced them with my presence. It's for an underwear brand. These photos won't go through photoshop editing. They will just focus on lighting and that's it.

"Good job, Miss Nathalia!" The photographer complimented me after the photo shoot. He looked so pleased to see me on his camera roll. "I'm literally shaking right now. I am a fan by the way!"

I smiled at him. "Thanks."

"My daughter is a fan, too. Can I ask for your autograph?"

"Yeah. Sure."

Pinirmahan ko ang damit na binigay niya sa akin saka na rin ako pumasok sa dressing room. Naabutan kong umiilaw ang cell phone ko kaya kinuha ko 'yon.

I sat on the chair in front of the dresser. Hinawi ko ang kulay abo kong buhok bago sinagot ang tumatawag sa cell phone ko. Bahagya kong nilayo ang cell phone dahil alam kong pasigaw itong bumati.

"Nath!" sigaw ni Hestia sa kabilang linya. "Nakabalik ka na raw?"

"My hair..." I whispered. "When did I dye my hair?"

Para kasing sobrang tagal na nitong kulay ng buhok ko. It doesn't feel right anymore. I don't stay in one style. My fashion style changes like every three months.

"I think two months ago?" she responded, unsure. "So... you are really back?"

I sighed. "I'm done with the photoshoot. Can you pick me up here?"

"Oh, sure!"

I sent her my location after I ended the call. Hestia is the only person I consider as friend in this industry. Model din siya katulad ko, maingay nga lang. Sa katunayan ay dalawa lang silang malapit sa akin. Siya at si Kathlysse.

"I'm outside," she texted me.

Sinuot ko na ang shades ko at lumabas ng dressing room. Hindi na ako nagpaalam sa kanila. Imbes na sumakay ako sa limousine, pumasok ako sa isang puting sasakyan.

"Hey!" Bumeso sa akin si Hestia. "Kailan ka pa nakabalik?"

I put my seatbelt on as I turned to her. Nangunot ang noo niya nung titigan ko siya. I wanted to ask something, but I ended up saying nothing.

"What?" she asked.

I shook my head. "I'm hungry."

Habang nasa biyahe ay kwento ito nang kwento, ako naman ay nakatingin lang sa cell phone ko. Bakit wala pang text sa akin si Hando? What's happening there?

"So... saan ka nakatira ngayon?"

I sighed. "So it will accidentally slip out of your mouth during your interview? Shut up and drive, Hestia."

"Hindi mo pa rin ba nakakalimutan 'yon?" Humalakhak siya.

How could I forget that? Nagising na lang ako isang araw marami ng tao sa labas ng building ko. Maging ang mga guard ay hindi sila kinaya. Kumukulo pa rin ang dugo kapag naalala 'yon.

We drove to our usual restaurant. Isang bampira din ang may-ari nito kaya may class sila na nagse-serve para din sa mga bampirang gaya namin.

I tried to open a topic in the middle of our meal.

"Nakausap mo na ba si Kathlysse?" tanong ko.

Natigilan siya sa pagnguya. "Just through text. Why?"

"She hasn't texted me yet."

"Maybe she's busy?"

"Busy?" I sipped on my wine. "I am back, Hestia."

Ilang segundo bago niya naintindihan ang sinabi ko. Napasandal siya sa upuan sa lakas ng pagtawa.

"Ang init talaga ng dugo mo sa kanya!" singhal niya sa akin.

I rolled my eyes. "Because she's fake."

"Fake?" Nagtaas din ng kilay si Hestia. "Just because you don't see her mad at you whenever you are stealing the spotlight from her?"

"The spotlight has always been mine. Hinahayaan ko lang siyang makisilong." Nagkibit-balikat ako sa sumubo ng steak. "Saka..." Nilunok ko ang kinakain. "She's so kind that I find it odd sometimes."

"Hay nako!"

"What?" Binitiwan ko na ang mga kubyertos saka kinuha ang wine glass. Bahagya akong sumimsim doon. "We are all in this industry, Hestia. We all love the spotlight."

"I mean... true." She sighed.

"May photoshoot sana siya kaso hindi natuloy nung sinabi kong babalik na ako. She should be mad at me, right? I just ruined her schedule."

"Are you doing it on purpose?"

"What? No!"

Wala naman akong pakialam kung matuloy man 'yon. Nasakto lang talaga na babalik na ako. Saka sigurado naman akong natuloy ang ibang job offer sa kanya nung wala ako. I mean... they have no other choice.

Nagprisinta si Hestia na ihatid na ako sa building. Wala na rin akong nagawa dahil wala akong sundo. Si Hando naman ay wala pa ring balita sa sinasabi sa akin.

"So... you are staying here?" Tinanaw ni Hestia ang building mula sa kanyang sasakyan. "This is bigger than your previous penthouse."

"Yeah. Thanks for the ride!"

Palabas na sana ako nung may tinanong pa siya.

"Are you going later? Dylan's party?"

I just shrugged my shoulders.

Pagpasok ko sa loob ng penthouse ay katahimikan ang bumungad sa akin. Kumunot ang noo ko.

Where are they?

Hinagis ko ang shoulder bag ko sa sofa saka umakyat sa second floor. Sinalubong ako ni Hando. Sinenyasan niya akong huwag maingay.

"Quiet..." he whispered.

Napatingin ako sa sulok ng library. Nakaupo roon si Kristan habang nakatingin sa pusang kumakain sa harapan niya. Madiin ang titig ni Kristan sa hayop.

"What's going on?" napabulong din tuloy ako.

"He needs to focus," pabulong na sagot ni Hando.

Dahan-dahan ay nilapitan ni Kristan ang pusa. Pumintig ang kanyang mata kasabay ng pagbalot ng pula roon. Lumabas ang kanyang mga pangil.

Tamad na pinanuod ko siya.

"It's not working..." I said.

"Ssshhh!" he hushed me again.

Hindi ako umaasang mabubuhay ang pusa, pero niyakap ito ni Kristan. Kasabay no'n ay kumalma ang kanyang katawan. Bumalik sa dating kulay ang kanyang mga mata.

"Finally!" Hando screeched.

Really?

Nakangiting binuhat ni Kristan ang pusa. Saka siya lumapit sa akin.

"This is a good start!" ani Hando.

"Can I keep her?" Kristan asked him.

"Sure!"

"All right," I sighed. "Congrats, then."

Tatalikod na sana ako nung hawakan ni Kristan ang braso ko. Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay pero isang matamis na ngiti ang sinukli niya sa akin.

"What?" I asked.

"Can I keep her?"

Tumingin ako sa pusa. Dinilaan nito ang kamay ni Kristan.

"Please, Nath?" he begged.

Nath?

"Let him keep the cat, Nathalia."

I let out a sigh.

"Huwag mo lang hahayaan na pumasok 'yan sa kwarto ko."

Saka na ako tumalikod at bumaba ng hagdan.

Napangiti ako.