Amends

"Can't you see that I'm lost in you, I'd rather drown in your shadows than swim in someone else's light" - Perry poetry

• Baby •

Dinner was not what I expected it to be
Sat across from River as I sipped my wine, glancing to Knox who looked very pleased with himself
His efforts were obvious
But I wasn't going to play into his childish behaviour.

"Knox said you're here for the foreseeable" River said
"Yes, I wanted to be with dad" I said simply, smiling at him
He smiled back, taking hold of my mother's hand as they ate.

"Maybe you could both catch up while you're here" Knox suggested
I placed my cutlery down, looking up at him
"Knox, just because my husband is not here, it does not mean I will be relying on you for sociable outings" I said.

Lia looked down, sensing the tension
"Noted. But seeing as you're normally so interested in my life, I assumed you would be thankful of the same from me" he said, chuckling and shaking his head slightly.

"Do excuse me but I'm not feeling very well" I said, standing up, staring a hole into Knox's head
He just looked back, with a smile
"Are you alright darling?" Mother asked
"Yes, I think all the flying has just taken it out of me" I said.

I spent the rest of my evening in the small library, reading by the window
The heat here was a vast contrast to the weather in New York
"You in here baby?" I heard dad call out, appearing round the door

I smiled at him, putting my book down
"Dad, are you alright?" I asked, as he eased himself down into the armchair opposite me
"I could ask you the same thing" he said
"I'm fine, could do without Knox's interfering though" I said

"He's just worried about you" he said, looking out the window
"Make your mind up, you're the one that wanted me to marry Vincent, now you're sticking up for Knox?" I said
He couldn't side for both.

"I'm aware. I'm just telling you to lay off Knox a little, he never liked the idea of you two getting married" he said
"He wasn't the only one" I commented
"Talk to him, you two have always been thick as thieves, you should make up" he said

"I'm capable of handling Knox dad" I said
"I know, I just wish you would both stop being so stubborn, you get that from your mother" he said
"Mm" I hummed
"Baby, it won't be long until I'm not around anymore, you need each other" he said.

"Dad I love you, but it has to be said" I said
"And what's that?" He asked
"That if none of you had lied to me for years, deceived me and then pressured me to marry a man I barely know, maybe mine and Knox's relationship would be slightly better off" I said.

I hated to say it, because I didn't want to make him feel bad
But it had to be said
I'd regret not saying it
And he took it very well considering

He nodded
"I know. And nothing I say can do justice to how truly guilty I feel. I'm sorry we put you in this position" he said
"Then why did you?" I asked gently, in fear of starting an argument
But he was very calm

"Because I wanted to make sure you would be looked after Baby, I'm aware of Vincent's... past. And his rather strong feelings towards you, but I know in his care, you will always be safe" he said
"I am safe in my own care" I said
"I know" he said.

We were left in a silence
An uncomfortable one
"Well, I must get off to bed" he said, standing up
I helped him to the door
"I think I'll go into the town tomorrow, pick some things up" I said.

"Okay darling, you have fun, I'll see you for breakfast though?" He asked
"Of course" I said
"Good" he smiled
"Good night" he said, hugging me briefly

"Goodnight dad" I said.

•

Walking around Italy gave me a sense of... home
The sun
The people
The vast beach lining town

• Baby's Outfit •

I'd only been wondering around the stores for an hour or so before I heard it
"Baby?"
I turned around, seeing River outside
I trailed out of the small shop

"River? What are you doing here?" I asked, I refrained from acting surprised
Because I wasn't
In all of Italy, there is a very small chance we'd bump into each other the day after our awkward dinner encounter.

"I... well I-"
"Knox told you where to find me?" I interjected
"Uh... yes" he said
I nodded
"Of course" I said, ready to leave
"Baby wait, he told me where to find you but... I was wondering if you wanted to go for a drink" he said

"River I don't really have time" I said
"Please, just a coffee, I can't take it being weird every time we see each other" he said
"I... fine" I sighed

We headed down the wide path towards the small cafe
"Why am I here River?" I asked when we settled
"I wanted to clear the air" he began, sitting back, shirt rolled up by the sleeves
"Okay, then please" I said, gesturing for him to carry on.

"I want us to be friends Baby, we got along very well before our... situation" he said
"I know Knox is hoping for something more for us but all I ask is that you consider our friendship again" he said

"Friendship? Nothing else?" I asked
"You're married now Baby, true you... you were the woman of my dreams. But times change and, I'm mature enough to let you go" he chuckled
"Right, good" I smiled

I hope he was being honest
River had always been level headed
He saw the practicality in everything
Whereas Knox acted on emotion
For as hard and emotionless he liked to seem, he acted with his heart on his sleeve.

Which backfired on him more often than not
"So, can we catch up how we used to? Without your husband punching me in the face?" He laughed
I nodded, asking him what he had been up to since the last time we saw each other.

•

"You always were too clever for them" he laughed, walking back up the path to the house
"Says you, I was never the one that got the deals" I said
"Yes well. We both know that unfortunately fell to the fact that you're a woman Baby" he said

He was right. Most of the time I never got the deal in the end because men preferred to do business with men
They didn't trust me
Or they didn't have any faith in me

"Granted they weren't exactly, impressed with me" I chuckled
"No, but look at you now, got a name for yourself and people are dying to do business with you" he said.

"Are they?" I scoffed
It was mostly still the same
"Yes. They are, I can get you in touch with a few of them if you want" he suggested
I nodded
"That would be great" I smiled.

"But then again, my name doesn't mean much now I've changed it" I said
"A Romano name holds more weight than you think" he countered.

"This was nice" I said, stopping at the house
"It was, we should do it again sometime" he smiled
"Sure" I nodded.
It was nice to actually talk to him, ever since... our awkward encounter

And ever since Vincent punched him in the face.

•

"Baby, phone call" mother called out, I got up from my bed, wondering over to the small phone in the hallway
"Hello?" I said, begging to wrap the cord around my fingers
"Baby" Vincent said

"Oh, how are you?" I asked, he hadn't called me since I've been here
"I'm good, just missing you" he said
"Yeah it's... weird being back here after everything that's happened" I admitted

Home felt like home and yet, didn't simultaneously
"How's your dad?" He asked
"He's coping, bit slower on his feet now" I said

"Do you want me to get an earlier flight?" He asked
"No, you have business to do, you shouldn't delay it because of us" I said
Just because we were married, I didn't have to disrupt his business

"Okay, I'll see you in a week though, yeah?" He asked
"Yeah" I said
"Okay, I... I love you" he said
I stayed silent for a moment, unsure of what to say

"Vincent..."
"I know, I know" he said, saving me from having to hurt him
"Sleep well Baby" he said.

• Vincent •

"Goodnight Vincent" she said, before I put the phone down slowly
"Is she okay? I wanted to speak to her" Rocco said, taking another drink
"She sounded pretty done in" I said, looking at the phone

"But she's okay?" He asked
I nodded
"Yeah, she's fine, I just miss her" I said
"Don't we all" he chimed in

"Why don't you come with me when I fly out?" I suggested
"Really?" He asked
"Yeah, gives me some company and gives Baby some more comfort doesn't it" I said
He nodded
"Alright, thanks" he said.

"We've not been there in years" he said
"I know" I said
"Bet it looks the exact same" he chuckled

It probably did
This place hadn't changed that much over the years.
I doubt theirs had
I just wanted to see her
To hold her again
To actually be able to fall asleep.

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