The sit down

"Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything is different"
- C.S.Lewis

• Vincent •

The moment I stepped into her room... my heartbeat spiked
Her room
Her room
I'd dreamed of being in here as a teenager
Staying down the hall with Rocco wishing I could have the nerve to knock on her door

To talk to her and spend time with her
And here I was. Stood in her room... naked
And her eyes
Her beautiful eyes running over my body jolted some form of confidence I didn't know I had

Which led me to here
Grasping her soft face, her eyes squeezed shut tightly, her glossy lips encasing each other as she sat nervously on her bed
And me... I was more scared than I had ever been in my entire life

Scared I had stepped too far
Scared if she did look and wasn't... satisfied
Scared of her never opening her eyes at all and leaving me to look like some idiot.

"Baby" I urged, before her eyes finally fluttered open, meeting mine
Staring up at me with so much curiosity and nervousness
"Vincent..."
"Look" I said gently

She hesitated, her eyelashes fluttering before her gaze finally cast down, widening a little
Silence was all that sat between us
A silent tension as she looked at the most intimate part of me

"Shall we um... um..." she faltered, still staring
"Shall we what?" I asked, tilting her face up to look at me again, but her gaze never wavered
"Go to bed..." she mumbled quietly, making me chuckle
"Eager?" I asked
Her eyes finally snapped back to mine, and she pulled back out of my hold, looking away from me entirely

"I just mean... we- we have to be up early, we should-"
"It's alright Baby, I know" I said, cutting her off and saving her from stumbling over herself
I covered myself, before hesitantly climbing into bed, she still wasn't looking and the very idea of being in Baby's bed was enough to knock any confidence I did have out of me.

She leant behind her and blew the candles out, surrounding us in darkness
Shifting in the bed beside me, I didn't know whether to reach out to her
I felt so... insecure here

She was home, she was dealing with her fathers illness
We hadn't seen each other in a week
I didn't know where I stood
Or how I could comfort her
But I didn't need to worry
Because she... reached out
Her hand found my chest and her head nestled into my neck, no words were spoken but they weren't needed either.

• Baby •

"You what?" Rocco laughed
"I know, I don't know what I was thinking okay I just- in the moment it felt right, we... we had a-"
"Why are you trying to justify it? It's okay to feel something for him Baby, it's okay for married couples to cuddle. Fucking hell" he laughed, putting his feet up on one of the spare chairs

"Rocco" I sighed
I don't know why I leant into it. Why I looked
Why I made the first move to... cuddle as he put it
I was running on this emotion that was unknown to me
Something that had slowly started creeping in and creating these moments with Vincent.

"What? What do you want me to say? I love you Baby but I'm rooting for him, he's my brother, you shouldn't give him hope if it isn't there" he said, looking out at the pool
"And he shouldn't go behind my back and organise a wedding" I bit back childishly

I know I shouldn't keep throwing it in people's faces
But it was true
Sometimes the pressure just felt too much
Like this burning sun on my skin, too much to handle but it's already seeped into your skin
"Granted, he shouldn't have, but you've decided to try, so if you don't want to move forward yet, don't make him think you do" he said

"Alright alright, quit your nagging" I said
"How was your week without me then?" I asked
"For me, great, I had all the time in the world for Luke since my best friend left me, for Vincent... not so great, he missed you a lot" he explained.

"I guessed that" I said
"Yeah, he was very excited to come" he said
I got it. He missed me
And in some weird way I had missed him
He was my new normal. His family and his house was my new normal

Merging that with my house, my family and my old life, was head wrecking.

• Vincent •

"You got a minute?" I spoke up, standing in front of Knox's table
I knew this would be where to find him. A bar.
He looked me over for a second, before dismissing his friend and the girl by his side.

"Sit" he said, offering a seat.
"Thank you" I said, sitting opposite him
"Can I get you a drink?" I asked
"You can tell me what you want. Then you can fuck off" Knox said

I refrained from biting back
Knox was nothing but a scared little boy still drinking his trauma away
I had harnessed my training years into strength, using it to power through all the shit we had to go through
Knox... Knox was still looking for answers at the bottom of the bottle.

Through girls in his bed and snapping at those around him.

"Knox, I know you don't like me-"
"Understatement" he interrupted
I held in a chuckle
He was so adamant for a fight
But he was Baby's brother. She wanted us to get along

And although I knew it would never fucking happen
I had to at least say I had tried
So whilst she was busy with Rocco, I decided to come and... try with my new brother in law

"Baby doesn't need us constantly fighting each other" I said
"Baby is the only reason you're not dead" he said.

I smiled
"Take a step out of daddy's shoes for a second, and be honest" I said
"What is your problem exactly? Because at the best of times you act like Baby isn't 'your problem', then when I'm in the picture, suddenly you're so concerned" I said

He stared at me for a moment, taking a swig of his drink before speaking
"Baby is important to me, whether you think so or not, I don't like you... because you never gave her a choice" he said
I said nothing.

"You trapped her into a life she never asked for, never wanted, in a new country, a new house, talking to her about families and marriage... you never gave her a fucking chance" he said
"I spoke to your father, endlessly about it-"

"He's not the one at the end of the aisle saying I do to a life of entrapment!" He shouted towards the end
"I asked her" I said, in a pitiful attempt to defend myself.
I knew I had no right
I had no defence

He was right. In everything he said
"You asked her" he chuckled
"You practically told her" he said instead
"You told her in the end actually" I said
"Yeah, she deserved to know" he said

"So why didn't you tell her earlier?" I asked
His jaw tightened. I know why he didn't
Because he followed everything Lorenzo told him
"Fuck off yeah? You're getting on my nerves" he dismissed

I sighed
"Here I was thinking we could have a drink together" I said
"I don't need anyone to drink with" he said, finishing his glass
"No, I can see that" I said, standing up, ready to leave.

"Seems Baby doesn't need you either" he commented
"Meaning?" I asked
"While you were away, she was lonely, it's just nice that she has friends here to keep her company, to 'drink' with" he said

He was obviously trying to rile me
I just wasn't sure what it was that he was trying to rile me with
"Like who?" I asked
"Like our good old friend River, family friend rather... they had a lovely catch up in town together, all cosy like" he said, waiting for my reaction.

But I didn't give him one
On the inside I was on fire. Burning from jealousy and insecurity
She'd seen River? Here?
"And then there was family dinner, so nice to see him fitting back into the fold don't you think?" He asked

"Oh, did you not know about that?" He feigned innocence

Family dinner?
I said nothing to him and simply walked away
Intrusive thoughts overtaking my head and filling me with utter fear
What had they spoken about?
Why didn't she mention it?

• Baby •

"Where are they? Dinner is almost ready" mother said exasperated, before dad came strolling in.
"Knox isn't coming" he said simply, just as Vincent walked into the house
"There you are" I said

"Why not?" Mother asked dad
"He's pissed, in town" he said
"Oh for... un giorno, solo un fottuto giorno per sederci tutti insieme e cenare!" She started rambling off

'One day, just one fucking day to sit down all together and have dinner!'

"What's going on?" Vincent asked
"Family dinner, remember?" I asked
He nodded slowly, stood so close to me
"I remember" he said simply
"Door" Rocco shouted, heading over to it
"Good day?" Vincent asked me

I nodded, ready to tell him all that Rocco and I did, but a voice broke my plans
"Evening everyone" River said, stood at the door with a bottle of wine
"River, oh I'm so sorry Knox isn't going to make it" mother said, walking over to him

He kissed her cheek in greeting, before looking over to me and Vincent
"That's alright, long as you're still willing to have me of course" he smiled
"Of course we are" she smiled back at him
"Great" he said, still staring at me
"Vincent" he greeted.

I had a bad feeling this wouldn't end well.

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