Ok, here's today update. XD Now you can cancel the assassins that you sent to my house to kill me. e.e' XD Seriously... Cancel them... e.e' XD Don't kill me... e.e' XD

And here you have a chapter bigger than usual to make you forget your sadness, your angriness and your desire to kill me. e.e' XD I hope you enjoy. e.e' XD

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Suga POV

It has been so many years since then… I didn't even remember that anymore… So why now…? So why did I had to remember now… So why did I had to have a nightmare with that now…? I didn't want to remember again… But it’s already too late… I remember everything now…

…

Why…?

- Flashback/Dream -

“Goodbye, Tae. See you tomorrow.” I told him goodbye, waving my hand at him, and he waved back. I stuck my tongue out playfully at him, receiving a funny derp expression back from him, and I turned around to walk away still laughing and with a really big and obvious smile.

It has been always like this. I would always be happy around him and with a silly grin in my face because of him. When did I started feeling like this around him…? Actually… When did I felt in love with him…? Yeah, I loved him. I had already recognised and accepted that. This was my first love. And the feeling of being in love with him was making me even more happy. It was a new feeling to me. And a excitant one! I hoped innocently everyday that Tae would start feeling the same towards me and that I would have the opportunity to confess to him. I just couldn’t wait!

I walked home, whistling playfully by the way. Anything could break my good mood. Or at least was what I thought… Because when I arrived home, my parents, with someone next to them that I didn’t know, were waiting for me in the entrance with a sad expression…

“Yoongi, son…” My dad started and I kept looking confused at him.

“What’s wrong…? Dad…? Mom…?” I asked them totally clueless and they switched looks between them, as they were trying to decide who should talk. And in the end, my father started talking.

“Sorry, son… Your dad and mom have to get away because of work and we will be out for a while… But we promise to come back soon…” He told me and I started feeling really bad and sad with the “ the same old news”. It has been always like this: they go away because of work and they never tell me when they are coming back, leaving me waiting for them hopelessly for undetermined and long time... But I still nodded back to him and faked a smile as I was saying “It’s okay.”, like always...

...

But “It’s not okay…” was what I wanted to say... “I don’t like to be alone… I don’t want you to go again… I don’t want to have to wait for you, with false hopes inside me everyday, and, in the end, ending up by only hurting myself during all that time...  So, please, stay…” I never said.

...

“Ah, and this is Jackson. You must have already see him in your school. “ (N/A: @suhojams, I put Jackson in the story. XD Are you happy now? XD) He smiled to me and I tried to smile back. “He will start to take care of you while he are away. Even still being very young and only some years older than you, he’s already very responsible and can take care of anyone. So, we will leave you in his care.”

“Hi, Yoongi. I guess I will start to take care of you from now on. I hope we have good times together and get to know each other better.” He said, tilting his head to the side and still smiling.

“Yeah, me too…”

---

“Hey, Yoongi. You look kinda sad.”

“Ah, yeah… My parents have to go away for a while because of their work again… But, at least this time, I’m not all alone in home...”

“Hum…? What do mean with that…?” Tae asked clueless.

“Jackson is taking care of me now at home… But I still don’t know him that well or anything about him...“

“I don’t know him too, but he seems a good person from what I see in school… You will see that with him around you, you won't even feel your parent’s absence. So, don’t be that depressed.” He said, smiling at me, to try to cheer me up.

“Yeah… I hope that too…”

---

But one day…

~ Click ~

“H-hey, w-what are you doing…?” I looked to the door and saw Jackson with a evil smirk and walking next to me. And suddenly he grabbed my wrists and pinned me in the bed, topping me after.

“Jackson! What the hell are you doing?!” I yelled at him and he smirked even more. He leaned closer to my ear, to whisper “Oh, you will see~”, giving me lots of shivers and making me have a disgusted expression. And, then, for my surprise, he started kissing my neck.

“Stop!” I shouted at him and tried to free from his grip, but he was stronger than me. He then bit my neck and I yelped because of his unexpected action and because of the pain that I started to feel in that area.

“S-stop.” I repeated again, but he kept ignoring what I was saying.

“Calm down, Yoongi~ I’m just here to help you~ I’m here to show and teach you what you will have to do to have the person you love all for yourself. I already saw how you look to your friend. I already know that you love Taehyung. So let me tell you something…” He leaned closer to my face, already with our noses touching. “You won’t be able to have him or anyone else. You are too simply and bitter.” And then he suddenly kiss me in my lips roughly, and not allowing me to break it or to separate our lips. Only when he decided to, he broke that forced kiss.

“No one will ever like you truly. You will have to use force to love, as you don’t have any sweetness. This is the only kind of love you will ever have towards someone. That’s the only way for you to ever get the person you love.” He made the evilest expression that I ever see and continued... “And now let me show you better the only way for you to win all the persons important to you~” He said and started touching every part of my body...

...And the night went on...

(N/A: Why, Jackson?! TT-TT Where’s the “MARKSON FOREVER!!!!!!!”? TT-TT And, @suhojams, are you still happy? e.e XD)

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“Hey, Yoongi… You don't look okay... What happened...?” Tae asked worried as I walked next to him with my head lowered and sat next to him silently. “You can tell me, Yoongi… I'm here to help you… I will always be by your side, even with whatever it comes...” He said weakly and a painful silence surrounded us. Only when he held my hand hesitantly, I ended up by talking.

“Tsk. Why do you always have to be nice with me?!” I said upset and pinned him against the floor, getting him in forced kiss that I only broke when I decided to.

“Wha-?! What are you doing, Yoongi?!” He asked shocked after the kiss and I started touching him in every part of his body, until I reached to his sensitive and never touched before one.

“Wha-?! Yoongi!” He shouted out, but I ignored and kept touching him stubbornly. And, after a while, I noticed that he was starting to lose his strength and to give up, as he stopped fighting back. “Yoongi… Why…?” He asked weakly after.

“I love you, so you will be only mine from now on and I will touch every part of you, to make you only belong to me.” I told him coldly and emotionless. “And stop with the “Yoongi”. I had enough of it! It’s annoying. Call me Suga from now on.” I commanded him harshly...

And then I realized some drops falling in Tae’s cheek... Was it starting to rain…? I wondered and looked up to the sky. But there weren't any clouds in the sky… So, where was it coming from…?

...

...And then…

...

...I realized...

...

...That it were only my tears…

…

...I was crying and I didn't had even realized before…

...

And the pain and sadness started growing as I kept cruelty touching Tae and hurting him...

...

...This was never what I wanted…

…

I wanted to stop, but I didn't know how to…

...

...Sorry, Tae… I hope one day you will forgive… Maybe one day we will be happy together, like before, and I won't hurt you anymore like I’m doing now...

…

...But really I doubt it.

- End of Flashback/Dream -

And right away, I woke up from that nightmare, sweating lot and shaking. Yeah, I remember now… That's why I’ve been hurting and raping all my loved ones… How could I even forget that…? I guess that I had threw my memories away with my feelings, as I felt that they weren’t important… I regret everything so much now… I did so many things that I regret... I’m such a horrible person...

And then I looked to my side and saw Jimin sleeping peacefully. He looked so cute… He had been one of the people that I touched and that I tried own his body… Do I love him too…?

I slided my fingers in his hair to see if I would feel something, any special feeling or any change in my heart beat. And, after a while, I took my hand away carefully...

“I guess I already got my answer…” I smiled weakly and started caressing his cheek, slowly and gently, to not him wake up.

I need to change… This way, I may have the body of the person that I love, but never his mind and love… And that's not what I want… That’s not what I ever wanted! What I really wanted was to be loved back…

I hope that I still have time to change… I don't want to lose someone that I like, that it’s important to me, again… I already decided. It’s time to change.

I then I looked again to Jimin, gaining an inexplicable sweet, simple, but true, smile in my face… And then I muttered weakly...

“I think that this one is to keep…”

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New chapter. \(*-*)/ Damn, in this fanfic everyone is raped and gets hurt emotionaly and even physically. XD That moment that only Namjoon and Jin are the only truly happy and they don't even show up in the story anymore. TTuTT XD But anyway… XD

I hope you enjoyed. ^-^

Bye ~(*-*~)

- Danielar