1|3|A Bit Of The Past

Previously:

Jungkook was staring at me so I just smiled at him. He hesitatingly smiled back.

Maybe being in this world won't be so bad.

Presently:

In my whole life, I had never met anyone as confusing and bipolar as Jeon Jungkook. He most probably is not bipolar, but sometimes, his actions make me rethink.

Sometimes he would behave nicely to me, other times he would act cold. I kept wondering what I did wrong to make him act like that but the others reassured me.

"He's a bit.... cracked," Jimin offered. "Not a lot of nice things have happened in his life so he's quite distrustful."

"But he has bouts of being nice sometimes," Taehyung told me another time while we were both walking down to the dining room. "Don't think too much into it. So, what do you like to eat for dessert?"

Even Jin reassured me when I asked him, and just when we were speaking, around 2 weeks after I was half given the position as a 'seducer', Jungkook appeared.

"...weird," I paused when I saw Jungkook enter from the corner of my eye. "So, Jin-oppa, how come you like cooking? I mean, given your profession, I wouldn't expect you to be such a sweetheart."

Jin caught on to my change of topic and smiled as he continued cutting the vegetables.

"Why, thank you, (y/n)-ah," he said. "I've actually liked cooking since a very young age. I was born in a very poverty-stricken area and sometimes we had to go hungry for days. Food is very important to me and I love the happiness I can give people by making them something that fills their stomach and gives them warmth and energy."

"Such a sweet thought behind it," I grinned as I complimented him further. Jin loved to be complimented, and I made sure I did it often. Jungkook, who was browsing in the fridge, grunted suddenly.

"Hyung, where's my banana milk?" He asked. 

"Oh yeah we're out of banana milk," Seokjin suddenly seemed to remember. "You'll have to wait till the evening. That's when the stock comes."

"Great!" Jungkook groaned before sitting next to me on his assigned seat on the dining table. "I really wanted some right now..."

My eyes ran over his extremely lean body and I didn't miss the flecks of blood on his forearm. I didn't think it would ever happen, but I had gotten used to seeing some blood on him.

"Is there something on me?" Jungkook's sharp voice cut through the small space of air between us. 

"Um, yeah," I hesitatingly pointed at the blood. "But it's okay. I was just checking for... wounds."

The sudden bark of laughter (or more like, cackle of laughter) that erupted from him was completely unexpected and I jumped at that.

"I don't get wounds," he said once he calmed down. "I'm an expert at my job. It's just that I like to play with the victims and it sprays some o their blood on me."

I winced at the idea but followed it with an amused sigh because what else could I expect from him? He was an assassin and acting like it hurts or pains me with what he does (it did slightly, but I would never let it show) would not help me to understand this piece of a confusing man.

"Have you ever killed anybody, (y/n)?" His question caught me off-guard before I started laughing.

"Me? Kill someone?" I couldn't help but laugh at the idea. "If killing a mosquito or something counts, then yes. Humans or animals? No. I don't think I have the right to decide who lives or dies."

"Hm," Jungkook's smirk didn't have that intensity it usually did, it felt more... sad. Lonely. 

"Oh, I just remembered something," Jin said suddenly. We both looked at him questioningly. "I have to talk to Namjoon-ah. I'll be back in half an hour so please don't wait for me."

With that, he went away, leaving me alone with Jungkook, who stood up once again before grabbing a glass bottle from the fridge that contained some kind of alcohol, I presumed. He sat back down and stared at the bottle before he spoke quietly.

"Your parents are dead, right?" He asked as he unscrewed the bottle. "Accident when you were 19?"

"Yeah," I replied quietly, wondering what he was trying to get at. He took a sip from the bottle and stared straight ahead.

"I watched my parents be murdered before my eyes," he said in a voice so low, it was a whisper. "I was just 11. They owed a debt to this gang and since they couldn't pay, the gang men just... killed them off. Like their lives were nothing."

My breath hitched as I watched his eyes waver slightly; he didn't cry, but it was hurting him and it was visible. He took a very large swig from the bottle before he continued.

"We were from the poor parts, y'know?" His voice was breathy and cold. "I was off on the streets, because they took the house. I would have died if Jin-hyung hadn't found me. He gave me food and place to sleep. Four years later, Namjoon-hyung, who we knew for around three years then, decided to start Bangtan. I didn't know how to kill, but I picked up quickly."

My heart softened for him. He liked to put up a tough guy show, but maybe, just maybe, he wasn't so tough on the inside.

"I actually enjoy killing now," he said it as if it's nothing, "There's just something, some kind of relief and happiness I feel when I see those cruel and heartless men die by my hands. I feel like I have avenged all those who died by their hands when there wasn't such a big reason."

I didn't dare to interrupt him but it seemed like he got out a trance because he straightened up and looked away from the straight point he was looking at.

"Anyway, I don't know why I told you this, but whatever," he stood up once again and I didn't know how to reply. "Too many things on my mind I guess. Don't stare at me, go and do something."

With that, he left me in the room, the bottle of alcohol one third remaining across me. I stared at it in silence.

Jeon Jungkook. Just who am I to you?

●❦●

Updated/Published On:
15th June 2020
15/06/2020