Today, I hadn't met up with the others. Instead, I went home as soon as the bell rang.

I was still reeling over the shock that I had indirectly encouraged -- suggested, even -- Jason Evelou into killing himself.

That hadn't been part of my plan at all. I had been hoping for a faux gun shooting, where he only threatened everyone but didn't actually shoot, but killing himself?

The only upside I could see to this was that he had included OBB High School in his suicide note. Actually, he probably meant the OBB Online Burn Book website, but nobody needed to know that. Speaking of, I logged onto the website to see if anybody was commenting on the news or the past escapades.

I wasn't disappointed.

makeloveallday: um, Jason Evelou did what?!?! I get that he was annoyed by everybody talking shit about him, but this is a little too extreme, don't you think? besides, he had talked shit about others first, so he could've just thought about it as bad karma
---> Replies: 10 [press to view]

luvoneluvall: so the first one must not have been Jason then? but even so, killing himself seems really extreme...
---> Replies: 6 [press to view]

rosesarered: I think you all are missing the point here. because of this website (let's be real, we know this is what he meant, not the school), SOMEBODY KILLED HIMSELF
--> Replies: 28 [press to view]

hamiltonmylife: okay, somebody committed suicide, but can we JUST RANT ABOUT THE FUCKING TROPHIES FOR A SECOND WHO THE FUCK IS THE SECOND PERSON HE HAS NO IDEA HOW HARD I FUCKING WORKED FOR THOSE
--> Replies: 33 [press to view]

Suddenly, I saw my mom standing right next to me. "What are you looking at?" she asked.

I exited out of Firefox as quickly as I could. "Um, nothing," I mumbled as I tried to come up with a lie. "It was just . . . an article about this kid in my class, Jason Evelou."

My mom's eyes softened. "Yes, I received the e-mail from your principal. He was on the news as well."

I rolled my eyes, no longer feeling guilty about Jason. "I guess times really have changed, don't you think?" I asked, not trying to hide how bitter I was feeling.

My mom sighed. "Things were different for us back then," she said.

I didn't reply. I knew she had a point, but that was exactly why I was doing what I was doing.

I looked up my mom and I hesitated. For a second, part of me wanted to tell her everything. I wanted to tell her what I was doing; she might be shocked and disappointed at first, but then she would understand why I was doing it. She could even help me, maybe.

And then my mom spoke again.

"But that's all in the past, isn't it?" she said as she smiled down at me. "This is the present; we should be focused on the now and the future."

I forced a smile. "Yeah, sure," I replied, though I felt a pang of disappointment. My mom wanted to move on. She didn't want revenge or to expose the truth anything like that.

Eventually, she stood up. "I'll go start making dinner, then," she said. "Is pasta alright with you?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

She flashed me one more small smile before leaving. "I really am sorry about everything."

I shook my head. "It's fine, really. I understand."

For a few seconds, she looked at me like she didn't believe me, until she finally walked out.

I fell backwards onto my bed. I hadn't been lying when I said I understood -- I did understand. I just didn't like it. And I never would, until Operation OBB succeeded.