Review 127 // Sakiko Ikki

Màu nền
Font chữ
Font size
Chiều cao dòng

Here is a review for Anime_otaku_4

Fun fact: this has been the only review so far where wattpad told me to slow down because I was reaching the picture limit.

My comments will be in bold

Basics and grounding

If anything, this is one of the best universes for me to review because I know my stuff so this is in safe hands.

Character information



Okay so this is actually very good. There's a lot to this character and I like her design and that she isn't just a one note character. Her name and everything is cute and makes sense though it doesn't quite fit with how names work in the universe (normally to do with their quirk or a specific physical/personality trait they have, for example Midoriya means green) but I don't think it's a problem. That's not really important but since you seem to really want detail with this character I thought I'd mention it. Her personality is good but you could maybe afford to add a couple of more positive traits, even though it's pretty balanced.

The only actual issue I have is that the petal birthmark is kind of unrealistic especially since you explained why she's called what she's called. Maybe if she was called that in reference to the birthmark, similar to the green/Midoriya thing, that would work better. Though that's really not that big of an issue.

Relationships





These relationships are very detailed and I really like how you added the parents quirks.

The only issue I have here is that the majority of the Relationships end on a bitter note and you need to remember these characters are young. I'm not saying it isn't possible for young people to have tragic lives, but with ocs, it's incredibly common and I don't really recommend it for ones in already existing universes. I'll touch on this more later.

Backstory




Whilst this Backstory could work, it's very tragic and dramatic, especially for an oc for an existing universe. Be careful killing off and removing parents from the child's life. You need to show the trauma if you stick with this. There's also the issue of All Might and Aizawa being involved, there are a lot of hero's in the universe and whilst All Might could work, Aizawa is an underground pro which means that's its less likely that something like this will happen.

The other issue here is the class 1A thing, which isn't really an issue just more of a warning. Most ocs I see are made to be put in this class. It's very common and needs to be well written for the enterence of the character to feel natural and work.

Other

Okay so this is a really cool quirk and I designed an oc a while ago with a similar quirk but I never used them for anything.

The only suggestion I have here is that with most blood based quirks, e.g Toga's and Stain's, they need to ingest the blood to have an effect on them. Because I feel like it would be easier to slice someone and lock their blood then to get them to try and get them to tell them their blood type.
So maybe just change the bit of her controlling people by knowing their blood type into ingesting the blood because it doesn't quite make sense.

Stats

Stats are pretty well balanced, no issues here.

Extra

Some cool little facts here, always appreciated.

Final thoughts
Quite frankly, this is a very well done character. You don't need to worry about not having enough detail because this is about the amount of detail I put into my personal ocs. She's very well put together. The only issues are what's been put together. A couple of changes here and there with some foundations and then you should be good to go.

Seriously though, really good job here, she's incredibly well done. Easily one of the most detailed characters I've had the pleasure of reviewing.

*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen2U.Pro