A huge shoutout to @Queen0226 for the most comments in the last updates. The comments weren't 200 yet but I felt generous so I thought why not update.

The 200 comments offer still stands!

Do press the star button before you scroll down!

Enjoy!

"Zayan, look at your hair beta. It's getting so dry. When Areesha wasn't married, she used to oil your hair and now you don't even bother." Zayan's mother chided him and he groaned. He had returned from his office an hour ago and he was so tired after the long day at work.

"Ma, my hair is fine." He groaned as he switched the channel with the remote.

"Get the oil from the cabinet and I'll oil your hair." She said.

"I don't want to get my hair oiled." He said. He hated to put that hair oil in his head.

"No get up, and get it. Or you are going to go bald one day." She said thumping his back.

Reluctantly, he got up and dragged his feet to the washroom to get the hair oil.

He returned with the bottle and his mother made him sit on a cushion on the floor as she unscrewed the lid from the bottle. Zayan spread his legs in front of him and crossed them as he switched to the movie channel and rested his head on his mother's lap.

"Your father used to love it when I massaged his hair." His mother reminisced with a fond smile and his eyes snapped towards her.  She never used to talk a lot about him. 

"Mama..." he started but she wasn't listening to him as she stared into space with a sad look on her face.

"You are so much like him, Zayan." She said looking down at him as she caressed his hair. Zayan felt a tinge of pride and happiness surging through him. For any other person it might be ordinary hearing that he was like his father but to Zayan it was very special. 

All his childhood, he had thought that his parents weren't his biological parents so they loved Areesha more but with time he had grown out of those feelings. So now as his mother said that he was like him, he felt so happy, as if he was worth something.

"I really wish he was here with us today. He would have been so proud of you and Areesha." She said swallowing deeply as tears threatened to overcome her. It was so hard without her husband and she wished that she had had more time with him.

She sniffed and blinked back her tears. 

"Mama?" A voice sounded from behind and they both turned to see Maya standing in the doorway.

"There's a call-" Maya halted as she looked at Zayan and his mother.

"Who is it?" The older lady asked discreetly wiping away her tears.

"Oh it was some Aasia Aunty. She said she wanted to talk to you. The call is on hold."

"Oh, Aasia. I'll go take the call. Why don't you oil his hair?" She said handing the bottle to Maya.

Reluctantly, Maya took it from her as her mother-in-law went to take the call.

"I'll do it myself." Zayan said quickly and thrust his hand forward to take the bottle from her. He knew she wouldn't want to do it.

"It's alright. I can do it." She said as she sat on the sofa. 

She poured some oil on her palms and dabbed it on his hair. 

A heavy silence enveloped them as Maya spread the oil across his hair with her fingers. Zayan sat there staring at the LED screen but not taking anything in. He increased the volume a little trying to get rid of the tangible silence that surrounded them.

He closed his eyes as Maya's fingers massaged his head. It was soothing and relieved his tiredness.

He didn't know when he rested his head on her leg and closed his eyes. Maya felt a little awkward as he leaned his back against the sofa with his head on top of her leg but didn't say anything as his eyes were closed and he looked as if he was sleeping.

She caressed his hair with the tip of her fingers as nostalgia overcame her.

She used to massage her father's hair too before he went to sleep at night. She smiled to herself as she remembered how she had actually made a small pony with his hair and taken a picture. She still had that picture somewhere.

Absentmindedly, she moved her fingers through his hair with a small smile adorning her lips all the while. 

She was startled when Zayan suddenly spoke.

"You should smile more often." He said looking up at her. He still hadn't moved his head from her lap because it was a comfortable position and Maya hadn't made any action to show that she was annoyed.

She hadn't realized that she was smiling and her smile disappeared and was replaced by a guarded expression.

She didn't do it intentionally but it wasn't gone unnoticed by Zayan. She just didn't want him to think bad about her. The way he had thought that she was going to end her life that day had really shaken her. She didn't want him to think she was so weak. 

She hid her emotions but she didn't know that hiding your emotions doesn't make you strong. Your emotions show that you are strong. Tears are usually a sign of frustration or disappointment, not defeat 

"See! You always do that." Zayan said before he could stop himself. 

"What?" Maya frowned.

"You try to hide yourself from me and it's been enough time for us since we've been married but you are still not comfortable around me. You always have a faraway look on your face."

Maya's eyes snapped towards him in surprise. She didn't know he had picked that about her. 

"You used to be such a carefree person, full of spirit and now you are the exact opposite." Zayan continued when she didn't say anything.

Maya's eyes hardened at that. She hated herself for how she used to be a carefree person with her sarcastic tongue ready to bite anyone. Her personality had cost her so much. It was because of her challenging behavior and proud attitude that Daniyal had made advances towards her. She absolutely hated how she used to be.

"There I've lost you again." He sighed.

She was startled out of her thoughts as he said that.

"You know you can trust me with your thoughts. Before everything happened, you used to be such a chatterbox and now you don't say even anything." He said as he remembered how he used to be so annoyed with her when he had first seen her with his sister as she used to speak so much.

"Sometimes you need to change yourself when your personality does you more harm than good." She said her thoughts aloud.

Zayan straightened and looked at her trying to grasp any meaning out of her words but he couldn't make out anything.

"And what am I to make out of that?" He quirked an eyebrow. She was speaking in riddles and he had no idea how to solve them. All the noise from the TV zoned out as he waited her to answer, hoping that she would share it with him.

Maya looked away and stared at the TV screen. She stared at the commercials rolling by but not really paying attention. What was she supposed to tell him?

"Nothing." She mumbled shaking her head as she screwed the cap back on the oil bottle and placed it on the table and stood up from the sofa.

Zayan held her hand tightly, preventing her from leaving. She was such a complicated person. Wasn't he trying enough?

"We are going to finish this conversation first." He said and it came out a bit harsh than he had meant. Here he was putting his own feelings aside trying to help her get out of the prison she had created around herself and she was paying no heed to his efforts. He couldn't always let her run away from things. She needed to face everything too the way he was facing it.

"What?" She snapped at him and he realized his mistake. He couldn't force anything out of her by being harsh.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that." He said freeing her hand from his grip.

Maya's eyes snapped to his in surprise. Men were arrogant and full of themselves and considered women below them. He was like that too and he was just faking being nice. Her experience of relationships around her was mostly of her parents and her brother and Areesha after they had gotten married. But what Daniyal had done, made her see all other men in that way.

"I really wish that I can help you but for that you have to help yourself too." Zayan said sincerely.

"I don't need your help." She gritted out. When would he understand that? She rushed out of there to wash her oily hands.

Zayan stared at her retreating back. Was his approach wrong? Why was she being this way?

Patience. He reminded himself. If he was really determined to help her, he needed to be patient with her.

He got up from the cushion on the floor and rushed after her.

He should've taken it slowly. Now she would think that he was pitying her, that's why he was trying to help her. But he wasn't pitying her.

He was just in time before she could shut the door close.

"Hey, listen to me!" He called to her. He shouldn't have reminded her of the past in that way. Perhaps, he was being really insensitive about it.

He stuck his feet between the door and wall to prevent her from locking it.

"Maya, listen to me first." He said but she kept on applying pressure against the door trying to shut it.

He pushed against it again and it burst open when her pressure slackened. He got inside and shut the door behind him.

Maya stubbornly turned away from him and glared at the opposite wall. It was none of his business what she did.

"Maya, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it in a wrong way. I'm just saying that that bastard shouldn't be the reason for you to change yourself. You were good just the way you were." He said to her back. "H-how can you let that piece of shit change you?"

"What happened wasn't anyone's fault but mine." She said through gritted teeth. Must he talk about all of that?

"What?" Zayan asked in shock. What was she saying? What did she mean by that? The most horrible scenarios crossed his mind but he shook his head. Maya was a pious girl and there was no way that she was involved with him on purpose.

"What do you mean? Why are you saying that?" He asked in a cautious voice, choosing his words carefully.

"I insulted him and challenged him. I was too full of myself to see that I was harming myself in the long run. When he blackmailed me with the... p-pictures, even then I thought I would be able to manage everything and I let my fear take over me so I didn't even tell bhai. If I had told him, nothing... nothing would have happened. It is all my fault. I should've just stayed away from him from the start. He said he was attracted to me because I was a feisty girl and he liked that. I wish I hadn't behaved that way." She told him without any emotions. Not even a single tear escaped her eye as she narrated all of that.

She remembered how even Areesha had said that in this society, women need to stay away and keep themselves safe because of the sick mentality of men. She just had to ignite that interest in him. She hated herself so much.

"Oh Maya..." Zayan started as his own eyes watered. What was she doing to herself?

He looked away from her. Her expression was just so heart breaking. It broke him that she was suffering so much. None of this was her fault. She was punishing herself for something that was beyond her control. 

"Maya, please don't do this to yourself." He said as he held her hand between his own and rubbed it softly with the pad of his thumb. She didn't pull it away or look at him in a disgusted way, so he took that as a good sign. Everything about her envoked sympathy in him. He didn't pity her that way, but God knew how much he wanted her to get out of this phase.

"Look at me." He said softly, raising her chin with his finger. Her red eyes clashed with his. He couldn't gauge any emotions in her hazel eyes. She could certainly mask her emotions well, but that wasn't going to help her. Bottling up all these feeling would do her no good. She was human too and one day she would lose it, when her mind wouldn't be able to take anymore.

"It was not your fault. If it was anyone's, it was that sick bastard's fault." He started trying to supress his anger. "You are a strong, independent girl and that's why you decided to handle things yourself and you didn't go complaining to anyone. That's your strength. You shouldn't let go of these qualities. Not many women have this courage and those who do should cherish it. If you didn't have all these qualities in you, you wouldn't be standing in front of me and admitting your faults."

"You know these things that you call your faults, any woman would kill to have these qualities in her. To look at challenges and face them like a headstrong person instead of accepting defeat. I was so wrong that day when I thought you didn't want to live anymore and you gave up. But like the strong woman you are, you proved me wrong in that too." He said with a small smile on his face.

Maya stared at him and her resolve broke. She couldn't keep it inside anymore. It hurt so much. Tears dribbled down her cheeks. She looked away in embarrassment. She was crying in front of him. Again. She had told him that it was her fault and instead of agreeing to it all and belittling her or condemning her for it, he actually made the effort to make her see the other side of the page.

She attempted a small smile and shook her head. It was refreshing to know that he didn't blame her when he could so easily but it wasn't true. Maybe he was just too good and looked at things in this way but in reality it was really her fault and no one could change that.

"You have a way with words. The way you say it, you make it sound so true but that can't change reality, can it?" She said with a humorless laugh. He was saying all this to make her feel better about herself but he didn't need to. She didn't need his pity.

Zayan sighed. Her long held beliefs that she was in the wrong too weren't going to break so easily. But he wasn't giving up either. He could see what was the truth while she was being blinded by her own emotions.

"I-I just wish that I hadn't spoken to him in the way I did. It attracted his attention and he... he wanted me because of that." She said as her eyes swam with briny tears and blinded her vision. 

"Maya you don't know the sick mentality of some men. Their minds don't work that way. Whether its a shy girl or a feisty girl giving them challenges, they will do anything to get in her pants." He said in a harsh tone.

The way she said 'he wanted me' made him so furious that he wanted to kill that sick person. He didn't know what it was. He didn't know if it was his pride or just the fact that she was his wife now, and no one had the right to look at her that way.

Maya stared at him in shock. He was too blunt, wasn't he? But maybe he was right. 

"You know you can never think that things could be different on the basis of 'what ifs.' So don't think what if you hadn't insulted him? That thinking can't change the past in any way." He said. He knew this fact from experience. So many times he had thought that what if he hadn't ever met Leya, he wouldn't be so broken today. But then his memories with her were so beautiful that he wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.

"I guess." She said with a small smile. Her 'what ifs' didn't change the past and all they really did was hurt her even more. 

"It could've been worse if it weren't for you." She said with a shudder as she realized that she had never exactly thanked him for it. "Thank you for everything you did for me."

Zayan smiled at her. Seeing her smiling slightly now, made him happy too. He was glad he was useful to her in some way. If he couldn't give her love, he could at least make her feel better about herself.

"Don't thank me. Thank Allah. It was pure coincidence that I went to the hospital that day. I wasn't planning to at all. I'm glad Allah chose me for that." He said, his eyes shining with sincerity. 

***

*sighs heavily* 

This chapter took so long and left me exhausted. It took over two hours but I loved writing it.

If you think that Maya is going to recover from everything very fast or she is over-reacting, try to put yourself in her position. 

I really hope I did justice to everything. I really tried my best. 

Constructive criticism is welcomed. I'd love to know if you think there is any specific place where I can improve. English isn't my first language so please bear with me. Feel free to point out any grammatical mistakes too.

Any favorite line(s) or scene(s)? I'd love to know!

Comment! Vote! Share! Follow!