Nobody talked during the car ride.

Edd tried to ask them what happened when he first picked them up, but Tom just brushed him off.

Mary gripped Tom's hand tightly, the boy's other hand stuck to his cheek. He watched the rain hit the window as a bolt of thunder hit the ground somewhere in the distance. Mary kept to her phone, texting someone--probably Delu.

"...Did you guys manage to get something to eat before you had to leave?" Edd asked softly, keeping his eyes on the road.

Tom bit his tongue, but Mary came to his rescue and answered first. "We did, thank you."

Edd went quiet. God, Tom hated the awkwardness that hung in the air.

Soon enough, they arrived home. They left the car, shielded by the garage. Tom and Mary stayed behind Edd as they went inside, closing the door behind them.

"Do you want me to get you something more comfortable to wear? They probably wouldn't fit you, but..." Tom shrugged as Mary took off her heels.

She shook her head. "I trust your friends not to stare at me," she joked, earning a soft huff of laughter from Tom as he, too, took off his shoes.

He walked through the kitchen and into the living room, Mary close behind him. "Let's just watch some T.V. for a bit." To get our minds off of it.

"That sounds good," Mary murmured as they sat down on the sofa. She grabbed his hand once more as he turned on the television.

They sat in silence for a bit. Tom couldn't even find himself paying attention to whatever show they were watching. He couldn't focus on anything. Everything just seemed to blur around him.

"Jeho! You're home early."

Tom tensed up at Tord's voice. Said man crossed his arms as he stood next to the couch. How hadn't he noticed Tord sooner? He usually heard people come in.

"Who's your friend?" he asked, glancing at Mary as his head tilted. She gave him a smile.

"Mary. You're Tord, right? I saw you the other day."

Tord nodded. "That's me. Sorry for not saying hi; I figured you'd want to spend time with your good ol' brother." He teasingly poked Tom, making the boy awkwardly pull away from the touch. Tord couldn't help but frown at that, pulling his hand away. Tom hadn't moved away from his touches for a while.

"No worries." Mary waved her hand dismissively. "It's wonderful to meet you."

A hint of jealousy bubbled its way up Tom's throat, making him grit his teeth.

Oh, shut up. It's your fucking engaged sister, Tom thought to himself, forcing the feeling down. Once it went away, he turned his head and let out a soft sigh.

Yet... why did he feel jealous?

He bit his tongue before he could scoff at himself.

"Well, thank you for talking with me, but I honestly came out here because I'm hungry." Tom blinked as Tord turned to him. "Do you want anything, min kattunge?"

He just shook his head, not bothering to actually say anything. Tord frowned but headed into the kitchen anyway, leaving the two to their own devices.

"Are you okay, Tom?" Mary asked gently, giving Tom's hand a squeeze.

He swallowed before smiling shakily. "I'm fine, sœur," he promised, rubbing his thumb across the base of her hand. She frowned but didn't push the subject, looking back at the television and leaving Tom to his own devices.

A few minutes passed before Tord came back out of the kitchen, holding a plate of chips and cheese.

"Oh, Tord!" Mary said, causing the Norwegian to halt and glance at her. "Would you mind getting Matt? I want to say hello."

"Sure." Tord shrugged and continued walking, heading back into the hallway.

"You haven't talked to Matt in quite awhile," Tom said, letting out a huff of laughter. "I mean, I assume."

"Your assumption's right." She smiled at him as she cracked her knuckles against Tom's hand. "I might get his number while I'm here, though."

Tom let out a hum. "That'd be good for Matt."

As if summoned, Matt popped his head out of the hallway before letting out a gasp. "Mary!" He rushed to the couch and pulled Mary into a hug, earning a laugh. Tord, on the other hand, relaxed on the other side of the hallway, planning to listen to their conversation. He couldn't help the bit of suspicion he felt at Tom's behavior.

"Hey, Matt! Long time no see." She awkwardly patted his back before he pulled away.

He nodded in agreement. "Your hair looks absolutely fabulous." He grinned. "It's so good to see you again."

"Isn't my hair always fabulous?" Mary joked, taking a strand of her hair and twirling it around her figure as though to show it off.

A laugh escaped Matt as he sat on the arm of the chair. "True, true. Do you remember when you wanted to dye your hair red in high school?"

Mary shivered, brushing her fingers through her hair. "My god, don't remind me." She shook her head. "I miss high school, honestly."

"So do I!" Matt chirped. "I miss not having to worry about rent."

A scoff left Tom's lips. "Matt, don't lie. Tord usually pays your half of the rent."

Matt let out an offended gasp. "I do work, though! I always add my contribution."

Tom rolled his eyes. "I don't really know why you would like high school, though." He pulled at his sleeves as he watched the television.

"Well, I was pretty popular."

"I definitely wasn't." Tom laughed at the memory of the old days. God, he used to hate his life even more than he did now.

Matt nodded in agreement (thanks, Matt). "Yeah, but I don't understand why. Do you remember that time you got beat up?"

"Tom, you what?" Mary gasped immediately, whipping her head around to stare at Tom with wide eyes. "Why didn't you tell me about that?"

A nervous laugh escaped Tom as he uncomfortably shuffled. "It was, like, sophomore year, back when Jake and I were... friends."

Matt gave him a weird look. "I thought he was your 'experiment' or whatever? Isn't that what you called him?"

"Well, yes, but we pretty much weren't actually dating." Tom cracked his knuckles. "It was in name alone."

"Oh." Matt shrugged.

Tom couldn't help but smile. "I do remember that you screamed your lungs out." Tom lifted his hand up to the nearly invisible scar on the side of his neck. Nobody had ever noticed it before, but he'd seen it too many times to count.

"You know I don't like blood!" Matt whined. "You had a bloody nose. I didn't want to see that." He huffed like a child.

A soft laugh escaped him. "Yes, I know. Thank you for helping me anyway."

"Of course!" The ginger gave him a precious look of pure loyalty. "You're my friend."

Mary, of course, humorously ruined the moment. "Damn, why didn't I have any friends like that?"

"Because you're not worthy." Tom smiled at her, the fleeting memory of his foster parents leaving him for the time being. He'd always be more relaxed with his sister like this.

"Hey!" Mary delivered a gentle slap against Tom's shoulder, causing him to swat it away. "I was a wonderful child." Tom made a face as he looked away, earning an offended gasp. "At the very least, I was better than you."

He glared at her, though he couldn't suppress his smile. He shook his head and laughed. "Yeah, you probably were."

"Oh, don't be so self-deprecating. It's not as fun to make fun of you when you do that." Mary shot him a grin.

He rolled his eyes at that. "Thanks."

"You're welcome, veli." Mary snickered.

Inevitably, she got Matt's number, and the ginger left to do whatever in his room--probably jack off in the mirror or something.

Whoops.

About an hour later, she had to leave. Delu didn't come in to say hi, which Tom couldn't judge her for. He, too, wouldn't want to go into a strangers house. Social anxiety, folks.

Now that Mary left, Tom had nothing to do but wallow in his despair. He shut the television off and left for his room, slipping into the hallway. Since he didn't have that barricade of her presence, the thoughts of David's words kept coming back.

Tord seemed to be walking out of it (he had heard Mary leave), ready to confront Tom about the whole story he told Mary.

Tom didn't spare him a glance as Tord stopped in front of him.

"Tom?" he asked softly, but the boy just pushed passed him, ignoring him. "Tom, please."

He opened the door to his bedroom and closed it once he got inside, leaving Tord standing in the hallway.

One thought stayed in Tord's head.

What did he do wrong?

Tom, on the other hand, leaned back against his door. He buried his face into his hands.

He wanted to go back. Back to when they were just enemies and nothing more. No benefits, no feelings, no questioned sexuality, nothing.

He just couldn't. He refused to believe he was attracted to Tord. No fucking way. He couldn't do it--he couldn't be gay, bisexual, whatever.

Despair shot through his veins as Tord took over his thoughts. He didn't want to lose Tord, but he had to.

With a slow shake of his head, he locked his door and headed to his bed, promptly collapsing down. He grabbed the weighted blanket that Matt gave him, wrapping it around him and squeezing tightly.

Part of him wished Tord had his arms wrapped around him, comforting him after the night's event. He wanted Tord's heat, Tord's affection.

But he couldn't.

Not anymore.

Besides, Tord... he'd probably prefer a girl, wouldn't he? Tom's memories flashed back to Tord calling him a girl--surely he just projected his fantasies. Nobody would want him. He had no appeal.

His thoughts seemed to play on loop. Nothing else crossed his mind. Despite it being pretty early in the evening, he stayed like that until he fell asleep.

God help him.

The next morning, Tom actually got changed. He didn't care about combing his hair or anything; he just wanted the day to end, even if the time only read nine.

He just tossed on his sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants before heading out into the kitchen. Sure, he wanted to lock himself in his room all day, but he knew Edd would yell at him if he missed breakfast, and frankly? He didn't know if he'd be able to handle that.

Gripping his phone tightly, he sat down on the same chair he always did. Tord sat beside him, the Norse sending him a glance.

Tom ignored him.

"I made waffles today!" Edd chirped, handing Tom his plate. How kind.

"...Thanks," Tom mumbled, taking his fork and awkwardly poking at it.

Edd turned to Matt and started chatting, but Tom and Tord just stayed quiet. Tom had nothing to say.

"How did you sleep?" Tord asked gently, causing Tom to shrug. He didn't want to answer verbally. He didn't think he could--not without breaking down.

Fuck.

Tord looked away at the lack of a response, taking a piece of waffle.

Suddenly, Tom's phone buzzed. He glanced at it.

Unknown Number

Hey xxx

Tom's stomach sank.

Unknown Number

It's danny lol

so u rlly came out as bi now?

Tom shook his head at the texts, gritting his teeth. How the hell did she even have his number? He picked his phone up and off of the counter, the urge to throw it nearly consuming it. However, he pushed it down and just put his phone on silent.

His stomach ached as he looked down at his waffle. He gripped his fork tightly and cut off a small piece.

He couldn't eat much. Not with his current weight.

His fingers twitched. He shouldn't be letting her rule his life, not when they weren't together anymore. Ridiculous, just... absolutely stupid.

He took a bite off the waffle. He loved the taste; it danced on his tongue, and he wanted more.

No.

No, no, no.

His phone continued to light up with texts, but at least it didn't buzz. He didn't know what he would do if it buzzed. Probably throw it as hard as he could against the wall.

God, violence sounded good right about now. At the same time, he wanted to curl up on his bed and block out the world.

He hated emotions. He just wished he didn't fucking have them.

It'd be so much easier. Then he could just brush this off. Maybe he could've been less of a disappointment to his foster parents. Maybe he never would've had sex with Tord. Maybe he wouldn't be in this mess.

He hated himself. That's it. He fucking hated himself.

He pushed his plate away and abruptly stood. Edd blinked in surprise, finally glancing over at him.

"Tom? What's wrong?" he asked, head tilting as he glanced down at Tom's nearly untouched plate. "You barely ate."

"I'm not hungry," Tom said through gritted teeth, grabbing his phone and leaving.

Edd shook his head as he watched Tom's fleeting figure. Matt glanced at him in confusion. "What's wrong with Tim?"

"Something happened last night. At his parents' house." Edd let out a soft sigh as Tord stared into the empty hallway.

He couldn't help but think. Think about what Danny said at the beach, right before Tord swooped in to save Tom. She said something... something about her not believing that Tom would be a guy after what "they" said.

Did she mean his parents?

Then again, it could be something totally different. Yet... why did Tom avoid him? What did he do wrong?

He finished the last of his plate and took care of it, placing it inside the dishwasher. He said his goodbyes to his friends before heading into his own room. He closed the door behind him and immediately started pacing.

What happened? What did he do wrong?

Perhaps he had been a bit too clingy. Or he didn't give Tom enough space. Something like that, something that he did. Tom wouldn't just start ignoring him for no reason. He had to have done something to piss Tom off. Nothing else would explain this behavior, right?

But... What did he do?

He just didn't understand it.

Finally, he sat down. Tom would come around eventually, right?

He bit his lip and stood right back up again. He needed to talk to the boy.

Now.

He practically swung his door open, storming out into the kitchen. He needed to cool down before he confronted Tom; he did not want to raise his voice at the boy.

Edd and Matt still sat out in the kitchen, just talking. When Edd saw Tord, he gave the Norse a quick wave. "Hey! Matt and I are gonna go out in a bit."

Tord raised an eyebrow as he grabbed a glass from the top cabinet. "Where are you two heading?"

"We're going down to the arcade!" Matt chirped excitedly, swinging his legs, sat down on the counter.

Tord nodded slowly as he pressed his glass against the water dispenser. "Sounds fun."

"Tell Tom where we are if he asks, okay?" Edd said, head tilting.

"Sure." Tord pressed the glass against his lips and chugged about half of it.

Matt slipped off the counter, landing neatly. "Are we leaving now, then?" He brushed a strand of hair out of his face.

Edd blinked, glancing at the time. "Sure. Let's get going."

"Yay!" Matt stuck his hands up as they headed out of the kitchen and into the garage, leaving Tord alone.

The Norwegian let out a long sigh and chugged the rest of his water. Suitably cooled down now, he placed his glass into the dishwasher and headed down to Tom's room. He nervously cracked his knuckles as he walked, trying to push down his anxiety.

He stopped at Tom's door, lifting his hand up to knock. He hesitated for a moment before knocking.

"Who is it?" Tom said from behind the door, tense on his bed.

Tord bit his tongue. "It's Tord. We really need to talk."

Tom's stomach plummeted, and he didn't say anything.

"Please, Tom?" Tord asked softly, shoving his hands in his pocket.

Silence filled the air before Tom finally got up and off his bed. He paused before heading to the door, grabbing the door handle and slowly opening it. "What do you want?"

Tord let out a sigh of relief. "I want to know why you're avoiding me."

Tom looked down. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You definitely do." Tord gritted his teeth. "You've barely said a word to me today, and you wouldn't let me touch you." He let out a frustrated huff. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened!" Tom hissed, glaring at Tord in defiance. "You're fucking overreacting. I don't need to be by your damn side all the time."

Tord's eyes widened before narrowing them. "That's not what I mean and you know it. Was it something with your parents? Danny?"

"Why do you always have to bring that up?" Tom couldn't help but raise his voice. "God, are you fucking jealous or some shit?" He let out an angry laugh, hands gesturing something.

Tord bristled at that. "Why the hell would I be jealous? Damnit, Tom, I'm just worried about you." He leaned forward.

"Oh, sure you are!" His hands flew out. "God, Tord, can't you just leave me alone? I don't need you. I don't want you!"

Tord shot back at that. His mouth hung open in surprise as Tom glared at him.

He gritted his teeth.

"I don't want you either!" Tord let out a laugh, shaking his head. "Why can't you just tell me what happened?"

"I don't need to tell you shit," Tom spat.

That made Tord raise an eyebrow, almost mockingly. "So you admit something happened?"

"That's not the point!" Tom's frustration grew at Tord's condescending tone, his fists clenching. "Why are you pushing the fucking subject?"

"Because I care about you, Tom." Tord leaned forward once more. "I care about you, and I don't like seeing you hurt."

Tom seemed taken aback for a moment before his rage came back, intensified by Tord's words. "Sure you fucking do. Just go get some fucking girl to fuck, Tord. I'm so done with you," he seethed, attempting to close the door.

Tord, of course, wouldn't allow that. He practically slammed his arm against the door, pushing it wide open once more. "I don't want some 'girl,' Tom," he hissed, taking a step forward so Tom wouldn't be able to close the door on him. "I want you."

That just seemed to upset him even more. "Why?" He let his hands fly up once more. "God, Tord, you could do so much better than me! And I can't be fucking gay, or bi, or whatever you want me to be. I can't like you. You'd be so much better off with a girl." Tears pricked at the edge of his eyes, which he desperately tried to ignore.

"Why can't you like me? What's so wrong with liking me? What's so damn wrong with being bisexual?" Tord spat, aggressively leaning over Tom, and the Brit flinched.

A tear slipped down his cheek, only for more to start falling. Tord's demeanor fell as Tom rapidly shook his head and tried to wipe the tears away. "Nothing! There's nothing wrong with it, and I know that, and I'm sorry." His voice cracked. "I'm just scared. He... he fucking hit me, Tord."

Tord's chest tightened. "Who.. who hit you?" he asked softly.

"David. My foster dad. I'm sorry." Tom let out a shaky sob.

A soft breath escaped Tord as he slowly wrapped Tom into a hug. "Don't be sorry."

Tom pressed his face against Tord's sweatshirt, gripping the piece of clothing rather tight. "I didn't mean for it to happen. I just wanted to protect her. She's my sister. I shouldn't've... I shouldn't've came out..."

"You came out?" Tord echoed, eyebrows raising as he slowly led Tom to the bed.

He nodded. "As bi. Tord, I'm sorry. You deserve someone better than me. A better person. A pretty girl or something." He sniffled, unable to help his rambling as his insecurities came to light. "I'm not worth y...your time."

Tord slowly shook his head before shushing Tom. "That's not true, that's not true, min elskede." He sat Tom down on the bed as he ran his fingers through Tom's hair. "You're what I want, min kattunge. You're who I love."

Tom stiffened, and Tord took a solid second to realize what he said.

Oops. Tord's eyes widened, and his heartbeat quickened. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He was so fucking fucked.

"...Why?" Tom asked softly, his tears coming to a stop as his cheeks reddened.

"I..." Tord took a deep breath. "I just do. I just... love you."

Tom pulled away from Tord's sweatshirt, looking up at the man with tear stains on his cheeks.

He opened his mouth, words stopping. He glanced down for a second.

"I love you, too."

i uh,,, really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. we only got three left, folks. i have no idea what i'm gonna do with my life when this is done.

eshjkalhejkdsx i feel so fucking sentimental,,, i fucking love you all

also sorry for not replying to any of the extremely kind comments on last chapter,, i read them all!!! however i'm just really bad at replying to them,,, because i have Crippling Social Anxiety,,,, just know they mean a lot to me <3

also god help me. i need some fucking friends,,, one of my friends got grounded, and i've had One person i have actively been talking to (my best friend, of course),,, guys i'm so fucking bored. please, someone, talk to me about Literally Anything