Present

I stood alone in front of a building, the pillars and glass making everything look expensive and impressive. One of the massive banners that hung from the roof read 'Brooklyn Museum of history'. The floodlights illuminating the building made it all the more grand as late night guests filtered in and out of its doors.

Sneaking out of the Stark safe house had been easier than I thought and I went to the one building that I knew would be here, even after all this time because it was old when I was a kid. It'd taken all day to reach the building, although the hour truly didn't affect Brooklyn all that much, after all it was a borough in the city the never sleeps.

Glancing around to once again make sure I wasn't followed, after adjusting the cap on my head, I entered the museum. It was almost exactly as I remembered it, I could see a young Steve dragging me through the different exhibits, trying to learn all that he could. I was hoping I'd maybe find some clue as to where my brother was hiding. I just wanted to see for myself that he was alright, even if I didn't plan on staying.

"Laura?" A voice called out, not too far from where I stood.

My head snapped to the side so fast that I saw only white for a moment. My eyes widened at him, tears beginning to form.

"Steve!" I grinned, running toward my brother. He caught me in a hug, burying his head in my shoulder.

"They told me you were dead" He whispered. "I went back and I couldn't find you anywhere" Steve's voice cracked as he rambled and I felt my shirt starting to get wet.

I held the back of his head with one hand while the other rubbed his back comfortingly. "I'm right here Stevie" I promised. "Right here"

Stepping back, I gently pushed him away to get a look at him. He looked like he'd taken extra strength steroids and he was taller, but he still had the same blue eyes and blonde hair. I could just see it peeking out of the blue baseball cap.

"I can't believe you're here" Steve grinned, seemingly doing the same thing I was. He discreetly wiped his tears, giving me a softer smile.

"Excuse me, if the two of you aren't buying tickets, I need you to leave" a woman suddenly appeared. I hadn't even noticed her approach.

"We're leaving" Steve assured quietly, his head slightly bowed so the brim of his hat covered the majority of his face. He turned away from the woman, offering his arm out toward me.

With an abrupt nod, the woman went back to her station, although she kept an eye on the both of us.

"Do you want to go back to my apartment and catch up?" He asked, glancing around him nervously. "I'm kinda out in the open right now"

I agreed, taking his arm and allowing him to lead me outside. Cars honked loudly on the street beside us as we walked and Steve seemed intent on hiding his face from the world. "Bucky and Sam found me" I blurted, trying to fill the silence that had fallen between us.

"It was all over the news, they've been speculating where you were found and if you were even real, but I went anyway and by the time I got there, you were gone." Steve grabbed at the hand that was on his arm as if reassuring himself that I was there.

"How did you find me?" I asked curiously. "Bucky told me that they had no idea where you were and suddenly you show up where I was"

"Pepper sent me a text" he explained. "We kept in touch after Tony and we help each other out from time to time."

I filled Steve in on my latest adventures with his friends as he steered the both of us down an alleyway toward a row of apartments and suddenly it was disturbingly familiar how the streets were almost exactly the same. Sure it was a bit modernized, but the brickwork and layout hadn't changed.

I was back where I grew up.

"Wow" I muttered under my breath. "How did Bucky not check here first when he was looking for you?"

Steve was sheepish as we walked up the creaky stairs, even though the old wood was replaced with metal, it still sounded exactly the same. "I may have left a trail in the Bronx, enough to lead him away from here. Plus I don't think he knows that this place still exists. This part of town was renamed 'Old Brooklyn' and I managed to convince the landlord to let me live in our apartment. Only took a Captain America autograph and handshake."

He let my hand drop as he took the loose brick out of the wall near the railing, grabbing the key as he replaced the same brick I used all my life. He then pushed the door open, revealing the apartment inside.

"I can't believe this place is still here" I breathed. Nostalgia overwhelmed me as I stepped over the threshold.

That life. It felt almost foreign to me now, after everything I've been through, my childhood seems like a long forgotten fantasy.

Steve had obviously decorated the apartment, new furniture cluttered the floor, giving a homey vibe to the room.

"I know that it's been a while since we've lived here but I couldn't bring myself to let it go. Just seemed wrong to me" Steve shoved his hands in his jean pockets, having already taken off his cap and jacket.

Memories flooded my broken mind, beginning to fill in the blanks I didn't even know I had as I walked around. Little dents in the floors and walls reminded me of the games a young Steve and I would play, much to the amusement of our mother, Steve had black and white pictures on display, a couple of our trio, him, Bucky, and I, whether it was goofing around or when our parents actually got us to sit still for a moment.

But those weren't the things to made my heart stutter and tears to form in my eyes, spilling over onto my cheeks.

It was my mom.

Her once bright eyes that had been so full of love and kindness now stared back at the lens. This was the only colored picture of the bunch, it was taken a month before she died, back when her cheeks were still rosy and full. She'd had a good week, even managing to go down to the picture shop to have this done. She wanted something to for us remember her bye because she knew her time was up.

I fell to my knees, clutching at the image of my mom, I sobbed. The full effect of the events that occurred during my long life were finally crashing down on me. I'd murdered people. Good people. All in the name of Hydra.

Arms wrapped themselves around me and the smell that was so distinctly my brother was surrounding me, but I barely noticed. Who was I kidding myself. I had no redemption. Nothing I could do would ever atone for Oleander.

She'd taken control when I was too weak to fight off the scientists' influence. She was the one who lived inside me, just waiting to come out. She was every bad thought, every bad feeling. She fueled it all in an effort to goad me into letting her free since the day at the warehouse.

Hydra had succeeded in ruining me.

Steve shushed me, resting his head on top of mine as he hugged me from the side.

"I'm a monster Stevie" I finally let out, the words spilling from my mouth before I could stop them.

My brother moved in front of me, gently prying my fingers off the picture frame before setting it on the small table where it was originally. He then set both his hands on my shoulders in an effort to get my attention. "You are not a monster." He replied firmly. "You are my sister. You helped mom raise me and you are my hero."

I scoffed, looking away from Steve. "You don't know what I've done"

"I'll tell you exactly what I told Bucky." He placed his hand on my cheek, gently coaxing me to look at him, carefully wiping away a stray tear. "Hydra is the monster. They took you away from people who loved you, they wiped away your humanity and brainwashed you into doing their bidding. They're the evil ones."

The expression on Steve's face broke my heart. He was on the verge of tears himself, but his jaw was set in determination.

"Stevie" I took his hand off my face, cradling it in my own. "I was broken before Hydra ever stole me away." The confusion on his face made me pause, swallowing as I continued. "When mama died, I couldn't find a place to work. I was wandering around Brooklyn, looking up all the wanted ads when I was approached by a man. Long story short, he was a member of a gang and in order to escape, I had to kill them all."

Steve sat back on his haunches, his brow furrowed in thought.

I stood, stepping away from my little brother as I wrapped my arms around myself. "So you see. I'm not the person you always thought I was"

He didn't say anything, just got to his feet and approached. Steve gently pulled me into a hug, resting his chin on top of my head once again. "That wasn't the expression of a killer" I closed my eyes as I felt them begin to fill with tears again, even as I tried to fight them off. "You're trying to convince me that you're irredeemable, that you don't deserve a second chance, but I've seen true monsters, some more horrible then I thought possible, and you are not one of them."

"Why do you have so much faith in me?"

"Because I know you." Steve pulled back, a stubborn gleam in his eye. "We've all done things in our lives that we wish we didn't do, that we wish would just go away. Hydra isn't your fault. The gang forced your hand, or at least at the time you felt like it was your only choice. I know there's a good heart in there. You just have to bring it out again"

I nodded "What are we going to do now?"

"We can meet up with Bucky and Sam, one last mission"

Pulling all the way back, I wrapped my arms around myself once again. "I can't."

"What do you mean?"

"The words in my head - Bucky and I can't be near each other. Not anymore. I can't even stay here with you. It's not safe"

"Laurie" Steve sent a glance toward the dark windows, going to sit on one of the couches in frustration. "I was there when Bucky was worried about the same thing you are. I was as safe then as I am now and if I didn't let my best friend leave me behind, I'm most certainly not going to have my sister disappear. Not because of Hydra. They've taken too much"

"And I'm not going to let my brother die because he's too stubborn to let me go!" I snapped before closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry"

Steve ran a hand down his face. "Spend the night? Then we can figure out what to do in the morning."

Resting my hands on the backs of my hips, I resisted the urge to pace. "Hydra is still out there hunting me and they'd love to get their hands on you."

"I'm not worried about them, I'm worried about you Laura." Steve stared at the floor. "Please stay" He looked up at me with tears in his eyes and I couldn't say no, flashes of a younger Steve begging me to play with him cycling through my mind.

Curse his puppy eyes.