I Don't Cry

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The early morning sun danced across the small coffee shop. Two people, a man and woman, walked through as Betty, the new barista, opened the door. Neither made eye contact or exchanged words. After ordering,  the woman sat down while the man continued standing as they waited.

"Double vanilla latte with extra whip!" Betty yelled out the order.

Both people walked up at the same time to retrieve the coffee. Neither new the other ordered the same thing. The man, tall, well built in jeans and a t-shirt, while the woman was a petite and dressed in all black. In sync, they grabbed for the cup. Their hands brushed against one another causing their eyes to make contact.

"I believe this is mine." The woman said coldly.

"I'm sorry miss, but I was here first. That would make it mine." The man was about to grab it when Betty stepped in.

"Double vanilla latte with extra whip!" Betty stared at the two customers, "Well are you going to pick them up, or do I have to drink them myself?"

Without hesitation, the man grabbed a cup quickly and took a seat. The woman however, had a strange feeling about the barista.

"Do I know you?" The woman asked.

"I don't think so," Betty said sweetly and walked toward the back. Confused slightly, the woman grabbed a cup and sat close to the man unintentionally.

The woman glanced over her shoulder noticing the man was beside her. She turned away and ignored him. However, for some strange reason, the man could not help himself from speaking. "I'm sorry Miss. I usually don't act this way. The name is Scott." He held out his hand.

The woman looked at his hand as if it would attack her. Slowly she placed her small hand into his and shook it. "I'm Molly. It's nice to meet you," She paused to gather her thoughts, "It's ok by the way. I understand. I'm usually a completely different person too."

For some reason, Scott looked into her eyes and noticed there was a red rim around them. Molly became aware of Scott's stares. She quickly covered her face.

"I know we just met, but what seems to be wrong Molly?"

"It's nothing." She stuttered, "You probably wouldn't even care that much."

"Try me."

"Seriously? I don't want to waste your time." Molly continued to hide her face.

Scott grabbed her hand. "I've got time."

Molly sighed deeply and looked up again, "All right. It all started a few weeks ago."

*****

I walked into the hospital early that morning. It was only the second day of my grandmother stay in the hospital. All the nurses were rushing around. They would check her vitals then disappear as quickly as they came. Doctors would come in every so often to check Grandma's pain and made sure she was comfortable as well.

Our family would come by quickly on the way to work or school. However, I was the only one that stayed for almost all the visiting hours. After about the third day, the nurses stopped kicking me out. I spent so much time with Grandma that I lost track of time, the hunger, and everything else in the world. The only thing that matter was her health.

Grandma would constantly be writing on note pads, crocheting, or watching any judge show on the TV. A few times she would doze off, allowing me to stretch my legs of a while. Yet, every time I came back, she would be wide awake and filled with energy. She seemed like a normal person that had a strange cold.

One night, I stayed until almost midnight. We talked about everything that night. She told me about her life, what she hoped for the family in the future, even what she would like at her funeral. For some reason, I never cried that night. I only saw it as another late night conversation.

Towards the end of the night, Grandma told me, "I'm so proud of you Molly. You're a very fine young woman. I know your cousins cannot be here like you, but I want you to be strong for them. You've always been a bright girl and I know you'll go places. I love you so much."

"Oh grandma," I fought back the tears, "I love you too. I'll be there for them no matter what, but please don't go grandma. I still need you. What will I do without you?"

"You will go far. No matter what, I'll always be with you." She cleared her throat, "Now you should get home. You, young lady, still have school tomorrow. Your grandfather will stay with me."

I gave a small nod of understanding. Hugging my grandmother I whispered, "Good night grandma. I'll see you later." She smiled as I walked out of her room. That night I went home not prepared for what was to come.

The following morning, I went to school with no problems or break downs. I held my head high, but for some reason I had a bad feeling by the middle of the day. After school, I drove home to drop my things off so I would be able to see Grandma. When I walked into the house, my father was home from work.

For some reason, he wouldn't let me go to the hospital. Later on that night, I learned my grandmother had gone into a coma. She fell into her deep slumber not long after I had left the previous night. I constantly prayed the rest of the night.

The next day, I went to school as normal to try and keep up with some form of normality. Again, around midday, I had a bad feeling. I could not figure out why all day. Deep down though, I knew it had something to do with Grandma. Once school was let out, I quickly ran home to find my father home again. His face gave everything away.

"Molly, we need to talk." My father said in a soothing voice.

"She's gone, isn't she?" My voice started to shake.

"Yes sweetheart." He opened his arms wide for me, welcoming me into his embrace.

I shook my head in disbelief. The tears I had been battling with for weeks, finally started coming down. I brushed passed my father ignoring his words of comfort as I dashed to my room.

I locked myself up the rest of the night. I would not come out for food or anymore comfort. All my heartache and pain came flowing out at once. I screamed into pillows, threw everything in my room, and even cursed to God for taking the only person that ever fully understood the real me. I never had to be fake or hide my true feelings.

I'm not sure when I finally calmed down. It could have been early evening or early morning. I collapsed against my door holding my head between my legs, slowly inhaling and exhaling.

Ding!

Startled, I looked up to the only object in my room that would release such sweet notes. My singing porcelain angel, given to me by my grandmother, had not been touched in years. There was dust piling up all over it, as well as the shelf where it sat.

One last tear escaped my watery eyes as I looked at the angel. I still do not know what caused those notes to play, but I believed it was a sign from Grandma saying she was doing much better. The thought of her being reunited with her parents and not being in pain anymore, brought a small smile to my face.

"I love you too Grandma." I whispered to the angel.

The next day was difficult. I walked around school looking and sounding fine. I never told anyone about her death. On the outside I seemed like a normal average student, but that was just an act. I was morning on the inside. The councilor called me to the office and asked me how I was feeling about the latest turn of events. Again I acted fine and the councilor seemed to believe me.

Not long after school, the family gathered at my aunt's house. Walking in, I could see all my cousins running and playing. They all seemed so happy. I knew none of the five cousins had heard the latest news about Grandma. The parents preferred to keep all of them in the dark.

Not five minutes after my arrival, the family gathered around the family room. Instantly, the youngest, a four year old, sat on my lap and snuggled close to me. Her two older sisters, eight and ten year old, sat to my left and right. My last two cousins, five and seven years old, sat by my feet.

I heard the words again, "Grandma has been in pain as you all know," my aunt said slowly, "but last night, she went to a better place. She's now with God and baby Jesus and looking over all of us right now."

Instantly, I could feel each of the five cousins slump as the words processed through their systems. The youngest, began crying immediately. I held her to my chest as her two sister leaned into my shoulders. The two cousins by me feet leapt into their mother's arms.

For some reason, my grandmother's words of strength came poring out of my mouth. I would not cry with my cousins. They needed me to be their rock of support at that moment. Willingly, I stayed strong for them. Our lives completely changed after that night.

*****

"A few weeks passed until her memorial this morning. I spoke about her for the first time today openly to a group of distant family members and many strangers I had never met before. Once the memorial was finally over, I left not able to handle all the emotions. Which brings me to were we are now." Molly finished her story and continued to wipe away large tears.

Scott struggled to keep himself from crying as well. Never before had he heard a story so sad and moving. Something told him to hold her and comfort her. This woman he had never met before, went through hell and has been fighting her way back for what seemed like weeks.

Molly looked back at Scott to see one lone tear falling down his cheek. "Scott, are you ok? You're crying."

"I..." he stammered, "I never would have thought a young woman, like yourself, would ever have to go through something like this so soon." Scott steadied his voice.

Gratitude twinkled in Molly's eyes. Many people had said this to her in the pass few weeks, but no one seemed to have meant it more than Scott. One random stranger showed more concern in two hours than a long time friend in only five minutes.

"Thank you." Molly struggled to say.

"You're welcome Molly." Scott stood up from his seat and offered his hand to Molly. She placed her dainty hand into his. They walked outside to stroll the rest of the day away.

As they walked out, Betty emerged from the back smiling. "I know you're in good hand now my darling Molly." Slowly, Betty began to fade away. "I love you my sweet, sweet Molly."

The End

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