Again, kleine Triggerwarnung.
Suizidgedanken -
Und English.
Sowwy

★★★

"Hey, are you okay?"
Someone tapped me on the shoulder.
I didnt expect anyone to be here and flinched so hard the little container almost fell into the river.
I looked up, just to see the sparkling blue eyes of a girl, maybe two years younger than me.
She looked very concerned and the panic in my face didnt seem to calm her down. "Do you need help? I could call someone ..." She said.
She had her hair up in to messy buns, one of them pink, one purple.
But she didnt seem like one of the stereotypical girls that only dye her hair to stand out. Because the rest of her didn't look any special. Her clothes were way too big and looked as if they were older than me.
"I - I am fine." I stuttered, not really knowing what to think.
She messed up my whole plan.
If I even had a plan.
Then I realized I was still holding the little bottle and tried to close the lid without her noticing.
I didn't want her to get in trouble later, if they found my body and somehow connected her to everything.
"What is that?" She asked, pointing to my hand.
Shit.
She wasnt supposed to ask any questions.
She would make it harder than it already was.
"Medicine." I mumbled.
My face got very hot.
Probably red too.
She sat down infront of me and snatched the plastic bottle out of my hand, faster than I could've reacted.
She was small, smaller than me and I could get the container back easily, if I wanted. Instead I just prayed that she'd belive my lie.
She looked at the little box and then at me and raised one Eyebrow.
"You know thats really dangerous right? You could easily die if you take to much of them."
I couldnt answer.
The Pain welled up again and blocked my throat.
The Dude I got the pills from, has had said the exact same thing.
The look on my face must've been an answer too, because the girl just stared at me.
"No, dont do that." She said quietly.
"You - you can just go away, you dont have to watch." I pressed out, wrapping my arms tight around myself, concentrating on the tree in my back. "You can just go and forget about me."
"No I can't." She mumbled, looking at the bottle again, then back up at me.
She looked so fragile.
I wondered what had happend to her.
Why she was here, strolling to the woods this late. Alone.
"Is this the only bottle you have?" She asked as I reached out my hand to get it back.
I just nodded.
She threw the bottle so fast, I couldnt even realize what she'd done.
The plastic container flew, it was almost in slowmotion, and landed with a soft 'plop' in the river.
The next second it was gone.
The girl looked as if she couldnt belive it herself.
But I couldn't help it anymore.
I started crying for the first time.
I haven't cried since everything had started.
Not one single time.
It had felt as if the pain had sealed the tears away.
But now I started sobbing, like a baby.
I buried my head in my arms.
I didnt want the girl to see it.
I tried to stop, but that made everything even worse.
And it hurt.
It hurt so much.
The Girl just put her hand on my shoulder and waited patiently.
I must've looked terrible.
I was already beaten up from staying in the woods for two whole days on my own.
Havent had anything to eat either.
Why would I tho?
I was planning on ending all of this anyway.
But then this girl showed up.
After a while I raised my head, wiping the last tears away.
She was still there, waiting.
"Sorry." I mumbled.
I dont know what I was apologizing for, I didnt know her and she didnt had to stay.
"Its okay." She just said.

I dont remember how long we sat there like this.
Me sobbing and she just sitting next to me and silently comforting me.
It was already getting dark when I finally could pull myself together and she just pulled me up and took me with her.
She didnt even ask, she just took me and the whole walk out of the woods she was holding my hand.
It was better this way, I couldnt move on my own.
She took me into a little 24/7 open Dinner and ordered food for us both.
I was really thankful about the fact that I didnt have to talk, because I think I would've just started crying again.
The rest of the dinner was almost empty, so she chose a table in a little corner, were we couldnt be seen from the entrance.
She didnt speak much either, I think she sensed that I wasn't really in the mood for that.
I dont know what I was supposed to do now.
I didnt have any money or place to stay, because I thought I wouldnt need anything anymore.
I had a plan, and this plan got ruined, by a girl with weird hair that I've never seen before.
Now, that she was sitting right infront of me, I could look at her a little closer.
She was mostly looking at her food, so she either didnt notice or didnt care.
She had her hair open by now, it fell over her shoulders and she had to put it back behind her ears every few moments.
She had faint freckles all over her nose and when she looked up and smiled slightly at me, they almost danced over her face.
She looked as if she didnt eat very much the last days either.
Maybe she had a similar story to mine.
I didnt ask where she had the money for the food from, I didn't care.
She had her Shirt tucked in her worn out jeans, both way to big for her.
And this girl just saved my life.
It took me a while to realize that but when it hit me I couldnt forget it anymore.
I had woken up, knowing I would die today.
Now I was sitting here and knew I wouldn't die.
At least not today and not in the near future.
I still dont know why, but I knew I had to protect this girl, what ever it would cost.