|| ship; kshaw (harry x jj)

|| warnings; non-explicit smut

|| words; 3k

- {} -

JJ

I never thought I'd see the day where I was grateful for Josh dragging us all out on a month long camping trip for a video.

We were all reluctant about going to say the least. But Josh had already organised everything, so that we couldn't make excuses not to go.

After nearly a five hour drive, we arrived at the secluded campsite. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a beautiful location. We set up our tents in a huge field, and of course, we had to make a competition out of it.

I was paired up at random with Harry, Ethan with Josh, and Simon with Vikk and Tobi. Naturally, Tobi's team won, with Ethan and Josh being a close second, and Harry and I coming last. Neither of us have any experience camping properly, so were bound to fail from the get go.

After fifteen minutes of laughing, complaining and fighting with the small, two man tent, we managed to get it upright. Both of us were relieved, Harry so much so that he went inside and fell asleep nearly straight away. I could have done the same.

We've been out here for just over three weeks now, and it's honestly not as bad as I thought it would be. The first week was hard - trying to get into it. Tying to enjoy not ever getting enough sleep because lying on the uneven ground hurt my back, or the way the cold and damp seemed to seep into my bones in the mornings.

But now, it all seems a lot easier. Enjoyable almost. I can understand why people like doing it.

This holiday hasn't just been good for the scenery though.

While we've been away, I've sensed my bond with Harry strengthening significantly. I'm not sure if it's because we're in such close proximity every night, or whatever, but he's barely left my side. We've been doing everything together.

I've gained an appreciation for the way he looks that I don't think I ever really noticed before. It's like I'm only really seeing him for the first time now.

He looks effortlessly hot, whatever he wears, or does. And I don't understand it.

He could just be wearing his usual joggers and hoodie, and it drives me up the wall. I notice things now. Like when he gets excited, and throws his arms in the air, his hoodie rides up showing a small band of skin. When he bends over, the usually loose fabric of his joggers stretching, and showing off the curve of his ass.

I can't seem to stop looking at him. Whatever he's doing. And of course he doesn't notice. It's Harry, what did I expect.

At first, I thought I was noticing these things because were all so isolated from everything. There's nowhere private particularly, for me to go and... release tension. So I put my obsession with his looks down to me just being horny.

Simon noticed - of fucking course he did - and pulled me aside to talk about it. We came to the conclusion, that I just think Harry is hot. Nothing more. I don't want to be with him.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realised that was wrong.

I've had moments with him on this trip that have made my heart melt. Be it when we went swimming in the lake together under the starlight. Or when we stay up until three in the morning every other night, just talking about meaningless things together. Or when I woke up one particularly cold morning, and found that he came into my sleeping bag for warmth.

I start to notice more things than just how nice his ass is. I notice how beautiful he looks when he smiles, or how nice he sounds when he laughs at my shitty jokes. How peaceful he looks when he's asleep. I notice the way he smells, and how calming I find it. I love his stupid Guernsey accent.

Just everything really.

It's driving me mad.

-

There's only two days left now, before we go home. So, of course, we all decided to stay up drinking. All of the others went to bed hours ago now, having drank too much. Leaving just Harry and I.

I'm mostly sober now, but he's far from it. Not off the rails completely, but enough to be more relaxed, and compliant than usual. He probably won't remember any exact conversations I have with him.

Which is why I choose now to say what I'm about to say.

"Hey, Harry?" I say, looking across the dying embers of the fire at the younger boy. He glances up at me, pupils dilated.

"Sup Jide," Harry says, before taking another swig from his drink.

"Can I tell you something?" I ask, and he tilts his head to the side in a questioning manner.

"Yeah, sure," he responds, crumpling the empty can in his hand. Instead of putting it in the bin bag, he fidgets with it.

"I think you're really hot," I blurt out, and he laughs at me.

"Duh, of course I am," he says, faking a cocky tone. I can't help but grin at him.

"No, I mean it," I say seriously, and his eyes widen slightly.

"Really?" He says, seeming genuinely surprised.

"Yeah," I say. "I think I might like you."

"JJ, are you messing with me?" He says, furrowing his eyebrows slightly.

"No Harry, I'm not messing," I sigh. He smiles at me.

"Love you too Jide," Harry says, trying to stand up, but swaying. I quickly get up to help him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to prop him up. His arm slides around my waist, his hand resting on my hip.

"C'mon, it's getting late," I say, guiding him carefully towards our tent.

"You smell nice," he murmurs, not looking up at me since he's too focused on where he's putting his feet.

"Thanks, I guess?" I laugh, not really knowing what to say. His grip on my waist tightens, and he pulls himself further into my side. Eventually, with a lot of effort, I manage to get him comfortably into our tent, and then into his sleeping bag. Just as I'm zipping mine up, he looks over at me again.

"I meant it JJ. I know I'm drunk, but I meant what I said," Harry says, staring at me intensely.

"Me too. Now go to sleep."

-

When I wake, I find that Harry must have crawled into my sleeping bag again. He's tucked himself neatly into my side, his head resting on my bare chest, and soft hair tickling my skin. He seems so peaceful like this, not a worry on his usually anxious mind. He breathes deeply, and I'm quite content just watching the slow rise and fall of his smaller body.

I lie like this for what seems like hours, just watching Harry sleep. The tent gradually gets lighter as the sun comes up, and as it does, I feel Harry's breathing become more shallow, and he twitches slightly, seeming to be shifting into a lighter sleep. Eventually, his body stiffens in my arms, and he lets out a loud yawn.

"Good morning," I grin, and Harry looks up at me with bleary eyes, and confusion written into his features.

"JJ? Why are you in my sleeping bag?"He asks, his voice slightly scratchy with sleep still.

"You're in mine, dumbass," I respond, and Harry groans softly.

"'M sorry, I'll get out," he mumbles. "Just give me five more minutes..." With that, his eyes begin to close again. I pat his arm in an effort to keep him awake.

"Oh no, you're not going back to sleep. I want to talk to you," I say, continuing to pat Harry's arm in a probably very annoying way, until he reluctantly opens his eyes again.

"Alright, I'm listening. What's up JJ?" He sighs, already knowing where this conversation is going.

"I want to speak to you about what we both said last night," I say seriously. Harry now tries to avoid my gaze, looking anywhere but into my eyes. I can feel his fingers writhing anxiously against my stomach. His very obvious nervousness makes me feel a little nervous too.

"We were drunk. It doesn't matter," Harry says dismissively. But I can hear barely hidden disappointment laced into his tone.

"I wasn't drunk," I admit, and Harry looks up at me sharply.

"You weren't?" He asks. I think I could melt from the innocent, hopeful way Harry looks up at me with those beautiful, clear blue eyes.

"I wasn't. And I meant what I said," I confess. I consider brushing some stray hair on his forehead back into place, but resist the temptation. "I thought I just wanted you for your looks at first. But I like you Harry, a lot."

"I like you too JJ," Harry says shyly, avoiding my gaze as his cheeks turn a dusty shade of pink.

"Good. Now that's cleared up, I've been wanting to kiss you for like, two weeks. May I?" I ask, reaching my hand up to cup his cheek gently. Harry seems pleasantly surprised by how respectful I'm being, since I'm usually the type to just take what I want, when I want it. He doesn't seem like he's about to complain though.

Instead of replying, Harry pushes himself up onto his elbows, and presses his lips to mine. I can feel him smile against my lips as I move my hand around to cup the back of his neck, keeping him close to me. I snake my other hand around his slender waist to rest on the small of his back, enjoying the feeling of his body pressed against mine.

Our kiss doesn't stay innocent for long, both of us overcome with want, and the tension that has been slowly building between them over the last month. He tangles his fingers into my dreads, and I let my hands roam over his body, slipping under his T-shirt to enjoy the feeling of his warm, smooth skin under my palms. The feeling of his lips, and his hands on me doesn't compare to anything I've ever felt before. It's heavenly.

After a while, I flip us over, so that he's now lay on his back, with me hovering just above him. His hands ghost up and down my sides, and I can see want in his eyes. Knowing that the lust is mutual boosts my confidence. I take control more roughly this time, and he lets it happen, moaning wantonly at the touch. I know he can feel my boner pressing against the inside of his thigh, meaning he knows where this is going. And he doesn't object.

So, we let it happen. It's hot, and messy, but neither of us care really. It's perfect for us. I'm just too lost in the feeling of him. I love more than anything how loud he is, moaning, and begging for more with every small touch or adjustment. Taking me like he was made for it. I love how much Harry wants it too. Knowing that my feelings for him aren't unrequited.

Afterwards, we lie together, sweaty limbs tangled, as we both come down from the hell of a high we just had, listening to each other's heavy breathing. I'm certain that Harry is going to be limping for the rest of the day because of how rough it all was, but he doesn't seem to be bothered by it. He keeps his arms tightly around me, as if he's afraid to let go.

"Are you alright?" I ask after a minute. Harry smiles up at me sweetly.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," he responds, before biting his lip and looking away for a moment. "Was I okay?"

"You were brilliant," I praise, lifting a hand to brush some hair off his forehead. "I've never fucked a guy before - obviously not, I thought I was straight before this trip - but it was incredible. I'd like for it to happen again."

Harry grins at me. "I'd like that too." He then leans forwards and presses a brief kiss to the corner of my mouth.

"What are we now?" I ask him when he pulls away, letting a slight hint of seriousness enter my voice. Harry shrugs nonchalantly.

"I don't know yet. But why don't we just enjoy it? We don't need a definite label yet," he says. "I like you, and I know you like me too. That's enough for now. I want to be certain about everything before we start considering a relationship."

I nod. "That's fine."

"We can agree that it's not a no strings situation though?" Harry questions, looking a little worried.

"I won't be going after anyone else while you're on my mind, don't worry," I assure him, making sure to sound as sincere as possible. Harry lets out a relieved breath.

"Good," he replies.

"One more thing," I add, rubbing the pad of my thumb gently over his cheekbone. "How would you feel about me taking you out? For a date?"

"I'd like that a lot," Harry says softly, allowing a small smile to tug at his lips.

"Okay. When we get back, I'll take you somewhere," I promise, also grinning widely. Suddenly, there's a large amount of noise coming from our tent entrance, and then the sound of someone hitting the fabric of the door to get our attention. Harry rolls his eyes, and I allow myself a small laugh at the smaller boy's irritated behaviour.

"Come on boys, time to get up," Calls Josh. Harry groans loudly in complaint, and brings himself closer to me.

"Piss off Josh," he grumbles.

"We're starting filming in half an hour, get your lazy arses out of that tent," Josh says sternly, before going away again.

"Come on Harry, you heard him," I sigh. I try to sit up but can't, since Harry has latched himself onto my torso even tighter than before. "We've got to get up."

"I don't want to," Harry says, his voice muffled by my chest.

"I know babe, but we need to," I coax, gently nudging his shoulder. Harry looks up at me very suddenly, his eyebrows knitted together. "What?" I ask, confused by his sudden movement.

"You called me babe," Harry states simply.

"Sorry, I wasn't thinking. If it bothers you I won't do it again," I explain apologetically. Harry shakes his head.

"No, I like it," he says, a subtle flush rising on his cheeks again. He then pushes himself off me, and unzips the sleeping bag, shivering when cold air wafts over his bare skin. "Let's get up," he says reluctantly.

"A'ight," I respond, watching closely as he climbs out of the sleeping bag. Harry blushes profusely when he notices me staring, and tries to cover himself up as best as possible. I quickly get out of the sleeping bag too, standing in front of him, and gently moving his hands away from his body. He smiles nervously as I cup his face in my hands.

"You're fucking beautiful Harry. You don't need to hide yourself when you're with me," I murmur, before leaning in and pressing a lingering kiss to his soft lips.

"Thank you," Harry responds after I pull away. "But I think I might need to get dressed before we head outside," he adds, a joking edge to his tone.

"Of course," I say with a laugh. "I don't want the others to see you like this. That's a privilege only I get to have." I almost purr the last bit, and notice Harry shiver at my words.

We get dressed in a comfortable silence. Harry has to wear a turtleneck since I may have got a little carried away with marking his neck. He hasn't complained about it though, so I'll take that as a win. Just as we're finishing up, I notice that he hasn't put a hoodie on. Poor idiot would freeze to death if he went out like that. So I retrieve one of my hoodies from my bag, and gently tug it over his head.

"JJ, this isn't mine," Harry mumbles, as I pull the hoodie onto him, and smooth out any wrinkles in the fabric.

"I know. It looks good on you though," I respond smoothly, and then press a quick kiss to his cheek. "What do you think, should we go and eat now?"

"Yeah."

-

"You two are both a right state, Jesus Christ," comments Simon, as Harry and I go to sit at the wooden table.

"What're you talking about?" Harry asks, trying to play it off. The others exchange a look that I don't like at all.

"Guys, we heard you," Ethan says with a grimace, seeming unhappy that he has to be the one to tell us. Harry flushes crimson, and I laugh nervously.

"Heard what?" I say, an Vikk rolls his eyes frustratedly.

"We heard you fucking," Vikk says exasperatedly. Harry groans loudly at this, seeming embarrassed. He presses his face into my shoulder.

"Harry, bro, you're loud as fuck. And tent walls aren't exactly soundproof," Tobi says. "Nobody needed to hear that."

"What, did you expect me to be quiet about having JJ's cock up my arse?" Harry shoots back without thinking, and then blushing heavily when he realises what he said. Tobi sniggers.

"Haz, you're really digging us into a hole here," I say, grabbing his hips and pulling him into my lap. Harry wraps his arms around me, and hides his face in the crook of my neck.

"I know, I'll be quiet now," he mumbles.

"You bloody well will be next time," says Josh. "Especially if you guys are at the Sidemen house."

"What about at my flat?" Harry asks with a small smile.

"Then go ahead. Traumatise the Cals," laughs Josh.

"Oh, we will."

- {} -

a.n: hello! sorry these updates are quite slow. if i'm honest, i'm not doing great atm, and haven't really got a lot of motivation.

also for those on here who also read 'life's never simple', chapter four is out on thursday. i know it's been a while, so i'm sorry about that. but hopefully i can get back into it again.

anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter (i loved writing it, these pair don't get as much appreciation as they deserve)

{quick sort of disclaimer; i started writing this before they did the actual camping video on sunday, it's not based off that at all}

~ Oscar