|| ship; wroetozerk

|| warnings; descriptions of a panic attack

|| words; 1.5k

- {} -

Harry really hates this video idea.

Hates it with a burning passion.

Hide and seek. In a haunted maze, at nearly midnight. All of the things he hates the most. Cold, dark, loud, and full of places where he has to watch his back.

He can't stop looking behind him, borderline obsessively. Always finds nothing, but still feels on edge, so checks again.

Vikk was with him, but he's gone now. They got separated. So now he's alone.

This just makes him more anxious.

He doesn't like the way his clothes ripple, and brush lightly over his skin. It keeps making him think someone's there.

He's entered a small sort of room now, full of mirrors, and bright strobe lights. Just freaks him out more. He has to find the corner, and press himself into it just to feel a little more safe. Because that means nobody can approach him from behind.

Has to close his eyes too. Because seeing his own pale face and trembling body reflected on the walls, isn't pleasant. He looks like a mess. Keeps them closed, because he convinces himself that when he opens them again, there's going to be someone, or something there.

And then he feels it starting. The anxiety, building, climbing higher and higher in his throat. Filling his body.

He feels his chest start to tighten, as the panic sets in. A huge pressure sitting heavy on his ribs, making it difficult to draw in a breath. Feeling his airways constrict like that just makes the panic worsen. He grabs at his hoodie, closing his fists around the fabric, and holding on with a white knuckled grip.

He knows it's guaranteed to become a drastic spiral downwards now. The more he panics, the more shallow his breathing becomes. The shallower his breathing becomes, the more he panics. And it just keeps going like that, on a loop, until the breaths he sucks in can hardly be counted as sufficient for a child, let alone a man his size.

He can feel himself shaking, hands trembling like leaves, as he slides down against the wall. Curled tightly in on himself, arms around his knees as he tries to breathe.

Just breathe.

Begins to feel nauseous, and then lightheaded from the lack of oxygen. Like he could heave until his stomach was empty, and then fall asleep for eternity. Miserable, and scared, for the rest of time.

The lights are too bright, but they flicker, meaning not even light is a stable point. There isn't anything constant, or stable in the surroundings for Harry to use to keep himself from being swept away by the panic. Although he knows it's a lost cause really, at this stage. He's too far gone to save himself.

He needs someone else.

But nobody is there.

He's alone.

Alone.

Painfully lonely.

Barely aware of the tears that streak his face, as the edges of his vision begin to go white, a brighter white than any of the strobe lights in the room. And then, black spots follow, slowly growing larger, until they block him from seeing entirely.

He's unsure whether he's closed his eyes, or if he's hallucinating.

But then. He feels his brain just, switch off. Stranding him in the quiet darkness of his blank mind. 

And then, there's nothing.

-

Josh

"Alright, since we've got Simon now, that means Harry is the winner," Ethan announces to the camera in his hand, before turning to us. "Any idea where he is lads?"

"Actually mate, I haven't seen him since we started," Simon says casually. JJ nods in agreement.

"I went into the maze with him, but we got separated," Vikk says. "He could still be in there?"

"I just tried calling him, he didn't pick up. And the message I sent him won't deliver," Tobi chimes in, looking a little worried now. If the messages aren't delivering, that means Harry has either switched his phone off, or drained the battery. Both outcomes are worrying, as we have no idea where exactly he is, and now, we can't contact him.

"A'ight boys, we'll find him," JJ says, trying his best to smooth over the rising worry. It works a little, but perhaps not as well as he had hoped.

"Let's check the maze first," I suggest, leading everyone over to the entrance of it. If I'm honest, I don't really want to go in there again. It was bad enough the first time around, and made my head ache from all of the different ways my senses were being attacked. Strobe lights, loud music, walls that get close enough together, that when you squeeze through, you feel a little claustrophobic.

I hope Harry's coping with it, if he's still there. I know he finds things like this hard.

Vikk is out in front now, talking to himself to try and engage his memory. Trying to retrace the exact steps he took with Harry, in the hope that it will lead us straight to him.

The further we press on, the more worried I get. Just thinking of how the surrounding are affecting me, and then how they must be affecting Harry, makes me feel slightly sick.

"Is that him there?" JJ calls suddenly, pointing towards a small, figure on the ground in a corner. Slumped over like a rag doll.

"Shit," I murmur, shutting off my camera, and the guys all allow me to take the lead, knowing I'll be able to handle whatever state Harry is possibly in. I rush up to him, kneeling on the filthy ground in front of him.

He's leaned over, forehead against his knees, arms loosely around them. Looks as if he could be asleep. Breathes faintly, as if he could be asleep.

But when I pat his arm, he doesn't stir. Shake him a little, and there's still nothing. Not even a noise. He just stays there, slack limbs complying to my touches. I shake him again, more roughly this time.

He's dead to the world.

"Guys, I think he's passed out," I call back to them. "But I want to move him out of here before we wake him up." Then carefully, I shift him so that I can slide my arms around his back, and under his knees, picking him up effortlessly. He's heavy though, like this, so I doubt I can carry him for long.

We go back the way we came out, even though the staff originally told us not to, since JJ says it's shorter than going the whole way around.

And soon, we're out in the cold, open air again. I lay Harry gently down onto the ground, and take hold of his shoulders. Shake him a little, bit it has no effect.

"Sorry babe," I murmur to him, before brining a hand back, and slapping him lightly across the cheek. Still nothing.

"Water. Anyone got water?" I ask the guys, and Tobi steps forwards with a bottle, handing it to me. I unscrew the top, and take a breath, before dumping it on Harry's head.

He shoots up dramatically, eyes wide and fearful, glancing around at everybody. His hands go up to his throat, massaging it gently, and I see the tears starting to fall down his already wet face. Carefully, I shuffle forwards, and invite him into my arms. He climbs into my lap, curling up, and sliding his arms around my neck. Hiding his face in my chest, so the others can't see.

I can hear him crying softly, and feel his shaky breathing as I wrap my arms around him tighter, pulling him closer to me.

"You all left me. I was alone," Harry sobs, and I see guilt cross the others' faces.

"We're here now Harry. It's okay," I soothe, rubbing circles into his back, and just letting him cry.

Eventually he calms down, and pulls away from my chest to look at my face. His is pale, tear streaked, and damp from the water I threw over him. Eyes red, and slightly swollen, as he sniffles quietly.

"Tell me what happened," I say softly.

"I had a panic attack. A really bad one. I couldn't control my breathing at all, and I guess I passed out from oxygen deprivation," he explains, shivering a little as he recounts it. "It was all too much for me in there."

"Oh Haz, I'm so sorry," I tell him, stroking a hand through his wet hair. "I should have stayed with you."

"Josh, please don't blame yourself. I shouldn't have gone inside in the first place. I knew I wouldn't be able to cope before I even went in," Harry says quietly. "I'm sorry if I worried anyone. But can we just go home now?"

"Of course baby, we can go home," I say, pressing a long kiss to his forehead. "I swear, I won't leave you like that ever again."

- {} -

a.n: yes, i know, this book has legit become only harry ships, i'm sorry. i just love him, and most of my favourite pairings happen to have him in them

please comment any non-harry related ships that you wanna see more of (e.g. ksimon)

i'm not gonna stop doing harry ones entirely, but i just want a lil bit more variety, yanno?

anyway, i know this chapter was kinda depressing (again), but i hope you enjoyed anyway

(might not be a new chapter for a few days, cus i'm lacking inspiration, or any good ideas rn, sorry lads)

~ Oscar