|| ship; ksimon

|| warnings; trans!simon, slight smut (but not really)

|| words; 1.5k

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JJ

I'm not sure how we ended up here. But I'm certainly not complaining.

We were meant to be studying together, but somehow ended up making out on my bed.

Myself, and the teacher's pet, Simon Minter.

Did I ever think I'd get this chance?

No, I did not.

"Oh my God, JJ," Simon moans against my lips, gripping the back of my shirt more tightly. Who would have thought that he was so loud?

"This alright, baby?" I ask huskily, just earning another moan in response. I haven't even got to where I want to with him yet, and he's already sounding absolutely wrecked. I should have known he'd be sensitive. Usually he's too busy working to have any fun like this.

To loosen up.

He's probably still a virgin. I don't know. Even though we're together, and have been for a while now, we haven't ever really spoken about sex, or past relationships.

"JJ," Simon pants, as I lean back, and pull my shirt over my head. He gets caught up staring at my toned torso, eyes trailing all over my skin. I guess going to the gym has paid off, at last.

"Jesus, you're fit," Simon mutters, looking completely star-struck.

"Thanks babe," I grin, leaning back in to kiss him. He takes to running his hands over my chest, palms a little cold, but I find I don't mind really.

"Hey, let's get this off too," I say huskily against his lips, grabbing at the hem of his shirt.

But instead of just complying, like I expected, he flinches away, as if he's been scalded. Looks up at me with scared eyes, and pushes my hands away.

"Jay," he whispers. It breaks my heart, how utterly terrified he looks.

"What's the matter babe? If you don't wanna, y'know, go any further than this, it's fine," I assure him, gently running a hand through his hair.

"I do want to go further. I've just- I have to tell you something first," Simon says quietly, refusing to meet my gaze directly. He glances over my face, but can't seem to look me in the eye.

"You can tell me anything Si."

"You're probably going to dump me, and hate me for all eternity, but nevermind. JJ, I'm trans," he says. Then bites his lip, and looks away entirely after he's said it.

"You mean, you want to be a girl now?" I ask, feeling a little confused.

"No, no, not that at all. The opposite actually. I was born in a female body, and now I've transitioned to male. I am a man, I swear," Simon insists. He looks as if he's about to cry.

"So, you have a pussy?" I ask, and he flinches.

"Don't call it that- but yes, I do," he tells me, seeming visibly uncomfortable.

"Oh," I say quietly, and he rolls his eyes.

"Anything more eloquent to say?" He asks, allowing a hint of defensive sarcasm to enter his tone.

"Well, I mean- this is a surprise really, babe. It's fine, totally fine. I just wasn't expecting it," I tell him.

"Well, I suppose that's a start. Means I pass well, I guess," he murmurs, seemingly just to himself.

"Do you have, y'know, boobs too?" I ask, and Simon huffs.

"Yes, JJ. I can't get surgery to remove them until I turn eighteen," he explains.

"Not long to wait then," I say, brushing my thumb over his cheek.

"Yeah, I suppose," he says. "Only nine months now."

"Can I see?" I blurt out. "Shit, I didn't mean to say that. You don't have to if it makes you uncomfortable or anything."

"JJ, relax," he says, pressing a hand to my lips. "It's fine." With that, he arches his back off the bed, and slowly pulls his shirt over his head. Once it's off, it reveals a flesh coloured sort of undershirt. It looks quite tight, and makes his chest appear almost completely flat.

"I'm sorry if this isn't what you expected," he says, avoiding my gaze again. "I understand if you don't like it."

"Babe, you think that I'm not going to like the fact that you have tits?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Jay, they're not exactly a 'nice pair of tits'," Simon shoots back, looking even more uncomfortable when he says it. "I've got stretch marks, from binding for nearly four years now."

"Four years? Jesus Si. Surely you're going to damage your ribs by doing that?" I say, feeling a little concerned for him.

"It's either severely damage my ribs, or kill myself," Simon says quietly, avoiding my gaze. "Not the best options really."

"I didn't realise it was that bad for you," I murmur.

"Well, unfortunately it is."

"Baby, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me. Ever. We can go as far as you like, just remember that I know you're a man, no matter what your body looks like," I say solemnly. He lets out a happy sigh, and smiles up at me.

"Thank you, JJ," Simon says.

We stay in silence for a moment, just looking into each other's eyes. And then, he gently guides my hands to the bottom of his binder. I look at him, unsure, but he gives me a reassuring smile.

If it's what he wants, who am I to deny him?

Carefully, I pull it up, and over his head, before discarding it on the floor. And then admire him.

His chest is quite small, which probably helps him to look so flat when he binds. He tenses slightly under me, as I run my hands up his ribs, and grasp his breasts gently in each hand. Then lean in to kiss him sweetly.

"You're gorgeous, you know that?" I tell him quietly, and he smiles at me. Doesn't need to reply, because I already know what's running through his mind.

"I want you, JJ," he murmurs, pressing another kiss to my lips, and wrapping his arms around my neck.

"Then I'm right here."

-

Afterwards, he lets me clean us both up, we put our boxers back on, and then decide against getting any more decent. Just laying here for a while. Simon's dragged himself over, and is sprawled across my chest, legs tangled in mine. His eyes are closed, and he actually looks peaceful for once.

"That was really good, Jay," he says after a while, interrupting the quiet calm that had settled.

"Fuck yeah it was," I grin, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "You did so well."

"Thank you," he murmurs shyly, before rolling over, and reaching down to the floor for something. I'm not sure what he's trying to get, until he brings his hand up a minute later, with a piece of flesh coloured fabric grasped in it. His binder.

I grab his wrist gently before he has the chance to put it back on, and get him to look at me.

"Baby, leave it off for a bit, please. You can borrow a hoodie if you like, but you don't have to bind when you're with me, I promise," I assure him.

"Where do you keep your hoodies?" He asks softly, biting his lip. I'll take that as a win.

"Left hand side of my wardrobe," I tell him, watching as he rises from the bed, only wearing his boxers. Doesn't bother trying to cover himself up either, and doesn't tell me off for staring.

He looks like a model, or something from a film. Pale skin bathed in the soft, natural lighting that streams from the open curtains, and looking off into an unknown place, with his back to me. As vulnerable as I've ever seen him. I'd love nothing more than to get up, and wrap my arms around his slender waist. Run my hands along silky smooth skin. Hold him.

But then the moment is over.

He just steps over to the wardrobe, and pulls out a hoodie. My favourite hoodie, to be exact. He probably knows that now is the only time I'd let him get away with wearing it.

Slides it over his head, and then turns back to face me.

He looks even more huggable now. Swallowed up in the mass of fabric. His frame is a lot more lithe than mine, so while the hoodie is decent in length for him, it still looks quite baggy.

To put it shortly, he looks adorable.

He comes back over to the bed, and crawls into my arms again. Resting his head on my chest, and throwing his leg over my thighs. Hands tracing lightly over my stomach.

"Thank you, JJ," Simon says quietly after a moment.

"What for?" I ask. He sighs contentedly.

"Still wanting me."

"Of course baby," I respond softly, linking one of his hands with mine. "My love for you isn't defined by how your body looks. Sure, it adds to how I feel. But I'm not suddenly going to hate you because of it. Stretch marks, the fact that you're trans, that little freckle on your hip that you hate for some reason - you name it. Everything you think is an imperfection, I call perfection."

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a.n: ksimonnnnnnnnnn!!

the last ksimon chapter didn't do very well if i'm honest, but i love these two, so had to write something else about them

~ Oscar