Winds blowing furiously..... And the spine chilling cold amidst the coniferous jungles..... Cold that is more than enough to chill you bone....
All you can think about is a dense blanket and a fireplace and perhaps some hot tea.... But that's too much to ask.... When has life ever been remotely as comforting....
You wail and groan.... As your breath is hitched... While you are chasing a militant relentlessly.....
These assholes.... Seem to have been well trained to run their asses off in such blood freezing environment....
You slump on the ground.... And there is no way but to fire....you get your gun ready... Making sure you aim at his leg....
Else the bastard would escape....
After raping innocent women and killing loads of men... The bloodsucking coward was running away.... And you gathered all the will power just to resist the urge to aim at his chest.... And kill him right away..... Your duty is to arrest him... He can be a valuable link....

Just as you were about to shoot you hear a gun shot... And bang.... A frail body slumped on the ground....

Damn.... You check wether he is alive... That idiot junior lieutenant.... Some weird name.... You had never bothered to ask.... That dimwit had a sudden attack of projecting  himself as a saviour... All men are the same.... Foolish machos....you are cursing under your breath
"mam are you okay...??"

You fucking idiot.... Calm down naina you need to maintain decorum...

"yes... But who asked you to fire.... You idiot...." good you can at least call him what he deserves to be called....

"mam you were injured... And he was escaping....."

"so you thought why not kill him right away... You know how important link it was..... There could be a dozens of bastards like him hiding under barracks.... We could have found the location of their leader by arresting this one...."

"but mam.... He is a militant.... And they deserve to be killed... After all what he's done...."
You tried to gulp down the anger.... But your blood boiling at his foolish reply.... Is this how they train these idiots...these people completely act to the whims of adrenaline and testosterone and don't bother to use their brains at all is it?
"you dimwit.... We're soldiers not some action movie heroes.... Who go on killing bad guys.... And as long as you are working in my regiment.... You follow my orders... If i say shoot you shoot... And if i say don't you withdraw... Is it so difficult to understand lieutenant raghav.... "

" sorry mam.... But i was just trying to save your life... "

You resist an urge to club him on his head.... Dreading about the fact that you need to make a detailed report about the encounter as you head towards jammu base camp....

But you could mock him... That would lessen a little frustration at least....

" lt. Raghav chatergee... There is nothing fancy about bragging about  your first encounter to your fellow soldiers.... While all you did was sheer stupidity... As you destroyed the only link....of our investigation.... You ll no doubt be awarded by points which you ll gain for this  so called chivalry..... Which would contribute to your promotion enormously.... But all you did was killed a potential link about these people causing breach in national security..... "
He muttered something that sounded similiar to bitch under his breath...you couldn't help but smile sarcastically....men and their ego... They seem to carry their brains in their pants... Can't bear it when women sound more logical pointing out their mistakes....

On returning to the base camp.... You are called in by your senior col. Shetty..... Who apparently is showering all fatherly love and affection on this stupid lieutenant.... Praising him on his feat of bravery... While you were suspended for a day .. For being remotely logical....and mocked by him for being careless and poor strategist.....

Damn that misanthropic bastard.... You were the best strategist of the unit..... You learnt from the best mentor and soldier to be one.... And despite of knowing it well.... How could he still miss a chance of mocking you... Just to stroke his ego....

Army is swamped with such chavunistic male species.... Who think women have no right to be a part of it..... Your commanding officer us having a hard time gulping the fact that he was dealing with a woman in his unit... And what was harder was  for him to admit that she is possibly better than all beloved male soldiers he has.....

You sometimes feel proud of urself for having a bad reputation.. You consider it their special way of admiring you.... Those loathsome looks your colleagues  give you as you excellently plan and execute the missions on the base.... They hate you... But deep down... You've earned their respect.... But men just can't admit the fact that you outsmart them... Hence all the hatred

Sometimes... You get amused at the fact... How different he was... So level headed.... Fair-minded.... Perfect gentleman.... Wouldn't shy away from admitting his mistakes....
You thank your stars for making him your mentor.... But how you wanted to be so much more than just his protegee.... His student......
.... But at the end ...... He was perhaps too good for you....

Or perhaps a coward who couldn't admit to his feelings....

You scold yourself  for reminiscing him again. For even considering it a possiblity that you two could ever be together.. He doesn't love you... He made it clear... Didn't he?
Yet every single night you cry yourself to sleep.... Wishing for him to reciprocate

You wonder what he would think if he were to see you now.... Would he be proud of you.... Or a bit disappointed at what you made of yourself...... You are not the same person... You are bitter, sarcastic, profane..... Defiant.... And what not.... He's better off without you.... He clearly deserves someone better......