Book title: Addison Again || Five Hargreeves x oc

Author: Thingybabiby

Genre: paranormal

Reviewer: helenl0511

Note:

I read the summary of the umbrella academy on fandom before I wrote the review, but because of the fact that I never watched the series or read the comics, I won't be able to correct anything related to the series. For example, I won't know whether the timeline is correct.

I'd just read the story as if it's a stand-alone or something.

Book cover: 4/5

You keep changing the cover... I had everything written and then I'd have to write again...

So the fifth cover is the best so far. I like that you chose a picture of Five (I think) with the umbrella, and it does interest people. It gives a clear image for people and fans of the umbrella academy will definitely click into the story.

I also like the fonts. They are clear and beautiful, and the colours are also great.

This is the best cover I've seen so far (I saw like 4 versions).

Book title: 3/5

Interesting and unique title. I love the alliteration. The title makes me want to know how is it Addison again (XD), and with the last part, the fans of the umbrella academy will want to read it.

Blurb: 8/10

The blurb does interest me. I like how you took a short intro of the umbrella academy and give it your own twist.

I just love the quote. It hooked me on immediately. The "accelerated healing factor" and leukaemia seem to contradict, which also make me interested.

I can't help noticing this typo. "... varying conditions; some more..." should be "... conditions; some more..." there shouldn't be a space in between.

Also, I've got a suggestion but the choice is for you. For "... their breaths whisked away before they could even utter their first word", I think maybe "... utter their first cry" would be better.

Opening: 9/10

I love the introduction of the character's background. The picture is beautiful, and readers get to know a bit about her before reading. I also love the card symbol, it's so cute!

Though, there seem to be something missing before " : diagnosed with leukaemia at a very easy age". I think that this sentence doesn't belong to "powers", so maybe you should change it to "diagnosis: diagnosed with..."?

Also, I love the banner but for the word "need", I can't see it very clearly since it's in the colour black and the background is also a dark colour. I suggest changing it to a lighter colour.

The first chapter is very intriguing. Snatched my attention at once. No fancy words or description, but the writing style is brilliant. Just one chapter and I'm already sucked into the book.

I'm gonna list some places in the first chapter that I think would be better if you used another word. The choice is all yours though.

"Eccentric billionaire and adventure adventurist"

"many most of the remaining 36..."

"Then there were those who survived"

Structure: 15/20

There are some typos here and there, but it didn't really affect my reading. Though they are obvious typos, so I suggest you proofread your story a few times to get things all sorted.

There's good grammar, good descriptions, and a good writing style. These three aspects did a lot to make the story interesting and you did a great job.

For some sentences in the story, they seem a bit weird. I do not fully understand them so I think you should proofread the story and rephrase some of the sentences to make it easier for readers to understand.

Also, in the story, you like to refer to the characters according to their appearance or characteristics. I suggest not to do that because it gets confusing. Referring to them by their names makes the story clearer.

Plot: 8/10

I like the plot so far. It is interesting even if I do not fully understand it. I can already see that the plot is going to be very interesting and I'd definitely read this book after I watched the series.

Character development: 12/15

I like the way you portrayed the characters through their words and actions. I see character growth in just a few chapters, and the characters are definitely interesting. Not much I can help with when I don't know the backstory, but it seems to be heading in a good direction.

Enjoyment: 8/10

Although I did not fully understand, I did enjoy it. The writing style and descriptions were amazing and I really loved it.

Overall impression: 10/15

The main genre shouldn't be paranormal. It should be fan fiction because not everyone would have watched the series. Though the sub-genre could be paranormal.

It was hard for me to review since I haven't watched the series, so although it seems interesting, I don't really understand the flow of the story. But I am pretty sure if I watched the series and came back to read, I will understand immediately and get sucked into the book in one second.

Marks: 78/100

The marks aren't fully honest since I didn't watch the series. I did the best I can do for the review but don't feel angry/sad because of the marks. It is an amazing book for anyone who watched the series.